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It's definetely worth the wait though, the game is amazing.
Your best bet is to visit valve's support system.
[URL]http://steampowered.custhelp.com/[/URL]
In that there are several questions covering game crashes, basically follow their suggestions (reinstall gfx drivers, make sure yourself motherboard drivers are up to date etc.) firstly. Might not help, but at least then people will know what you've tried before trying to help further.
Also you can try searching on steam's forums
[URL]http://steampowered.com/?area=forums[/URL] A fair few threads about crashing, but the solutions are varied so alot of reading involved.
> I'm running a 56k modem and I just got the retail version. And I've
> probably been sitting at my pc for about 3 hours trying to update and
> unlock everything. What is wrong with valve???
Get Broadband. Then you can whine. :)
> And will I be able to play offline after updating
> and stuff?
Yes.