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I was going to write out one of my massive "I" speeches again, not depressing or anything, just thoughts and problems.
But I've just realised there isn't really that much to write about, so I'll keep it brief.
Been on medication for a few months now, diagnosed with borderline schizophrenia, which basically means I'm psychotic, but I know it.
The medication is fantastic, I'm far less confused than what I was, I'm not throwing myself at dreams without realising I'll need to work for them, stuff like that. I feel a thousand times better, like I've been given a new chance at life, it's fantastic.
I'm still desperate to animate a few stories of mine, but now I realise I really need to practise and work at it. With so many fears now seeming pointless, I'm finally picking myself up from the gibbering mess I managed to end up in. Makes me proud to be me.
And after.. something like ten years I guess of fighting myself, I'm really beginning to feel at peace, able to use the fighting sense of my mind to carry me forward, instead of in pointless circles, trying to look too deep into things that really don't matter that much at all.
So all's good. I've decided not to go to Uni, just get a job home here, and work on animation in my spare time. It's not something that's going to leave me in a hurry, so I think I'm safe to say I can carry it on no matter what I do.
So, what are people up to? Anyone on medication and it's helping/making things worse? I had a bad experience with anti-depressants myself, but has anyone had successful times with them?
And how's everyone generally anyway? Finally got my new pc working after more than a bellyful of hiccups, been away a while, all's well I hope.
But I've just realised there isn't really that much to write about, so I'll keep it brief.
Been on medication for a few months now, diagnosed with borderline schizophrenia, which basically means I'm psychotic, but I know it.
The medication is fantastic, I'm far less confused than what I was, I'm not throwing myself at dreams without realising I'll need to work for them, stuff like that. I feel a thousand times better, like I've been given a new chance at life, it's fantastic.
I'm still desperate to animate a few stories of mine, but now I realise I really need to practise and work at it. With so many fears now seeming pointless, I'm finally picking myself up from the gibbering mess I managed to end up in. Makes me proud to be me.
And after.. something like ten years I guess of fighting myself, I'm really beginning to feel at peace, able to use the fighting sense of my mind to carry me forward, instead of in pointless circles, trying to look too deep into things that really don't matter that much at all.
So all's good. I've decided not to go to Uni, just get a job home here, and work on animation in my spare time. It's not something that's going to leave me in a hurry, so I think I'm safe to say I can carry it on no matter what I do.
So, what are people up to? Anyone on medication and it's helping/making things worse? I had a bad experience with anti-depressants myself, but has anyone had successful times with them?
And how's everyone generally anyway? Finally got my new pc working after more than a bellyful of hiccups, been away a while, all's well I hope.
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I was going to write out one of my massive "I" speeches again, not depressing or anything, just thoughts and problems.
But I've just realised there isn't really that much to write about, so I'll keep it brief.
Been on medication for a few months now, diagnosed with borderline schizophrenia, which basically means I'm psychotic, but I know it.
The medication is fantastic, I'm far less confused than what I was, I'm not throwing myself at dreams without realising I'll need to work for them, stuff like that. I feel a thousand times better, like I've been given a new chance at life, it's fantastic.
I'm still desperate to animate a few stories of mine, but now I realise I really need to practise and work at it. With so many fears now seeming pointless, I'm finally picking myself up from the gibbering mess I managed to end up in. Makes me proud to be me.
And after.. something like ten years I guess of fighting myself, I'm really beginning to feel at peace, able to use the fighting sense of my mind to carry me forward, instead of in pointless circles, trying to look too deep into things that really don't matter that much at all.
So all's good. I've decided not to go to Uni, just get a job home here, and work on animation in my spare time. It's not something that's going to leave me in a hurry, so I think I'm safe to say I can carry it on no matter what I do.
So, what are people up to? Anyone on medication and it's helping/making things worse? I had a bad experience with anti-depressants myself, but has anyone had successful times with them?
And how's everyone generally anyway? Finally got my new pc working after more than a bellyful of hiccups, been away a while, all's well I hope.
But I've just realised there isn't really that much to write about, so I'll keep it brief.
Been on medication for a few months now, diagnosed with borderline schizophrenia, which basically means I'm psychotic, but I know it.
The medication is fantastic, I'm far less confused than what I was, I'm not throwing myself at dreams without realising I'll need to work for them, stuff like that. I feel a thousand times better, like I've been given a new chance at life, it's fantastic.
I'm still desperate to animate a few stories of mine, but now I realise I really need to practise and work at it. With so many fears now seeming pointless, I'm finally picking myself up from the gibbering mess I managed to end up in. Makes me proud to be me.
And after.. something like ten years I guess of fighting myself, I'm really beginning to feel at peace, able to use the fighting sense of my mind to carry me forward, instead of in pointless circles, trying to look too deep into things that really don't matter that much at all.
So all's good. I've decided not to go to Uni, just get a job home here, and work on animation in my spare time. It's not something that's going to leave me in a hurry, so I think I'm safe to say I can carry it on no matter what I do.
So, what are people up to? Anyone on medication and it's helping/making things worse? I had a bad experience with anti-depressants myself, but has anyone had successful times with them?
And how's everyone generally anyway? Finally got my new pc working after more than a bellyful of hiccups, been away a while, all's well I hope.
Glad to hear you're feeling good about yourself, GT.
Personally, I'm on zero medication but have been offered many things, including anabolic steroids, all of which I have turned down. I used to smoke cannabis on a daily basis for pain relief, but I made a conscious decision a few months ago and gave that up - as a result I feel clearer headed and, although I feel the pain, I'm glad with the decision. I've discovered that distraction is a good way of dealing with the aches I get: loud music, a funny DVD or simply spending some quality time with the greatest thing in the world, my dog.
I have a plan for my future which shall be acted upon as soon into the New Year as possible ... and it doesn't involve suicide or homicide.
;^)
Personally, I'm on zero medication but have been offered many things, including anabolic steroids, all of which I have turned down. I used to smoke cannabis on a daily basis for pain relief, but I made a conscious decision a few months ago and gave that up - as a result I feel clearer headed and, although I feel the pain, I'm glad with the decision. I've discovered that distraction is a good way of dealing with the aches I get: loud music, a funny DVD or simply spending some quality time with the greatest thing in the world, my dog.
I have a plan for my future which shall be acted upon as soon into the New Year as possible ... and it doesn't involve suicide or homicide.
;^)
hey grix? My gf and I have been working on some animations, um we did a short crappy one with a penguin eating a herring..... Its all flash with badly drawn mspaint graphics. lol. I was wondering if youre going flash animations. If not you might enjoy it. its so much easier than by hand. good old lazy way.
Do you have a link to this "crappy animation"?
Ah Grixy Wixy, me and you we're like White and Black, Ben and Jerry, Jesus and God etc
Erm, I'm glad to here that... I was always worried you were going to go kill yourself but you probably won't now so... hurrah.
Erm, well I'm too busy at work/uni to do much else (apart from waste time of here) and erm have became increasingly anti-social, realising I don't really like anyone, apart from me. Woo-hoo
Erm, I'm glad to here that... I was always worried you were going to go kill yourself but you probably won't now so... hurrah.
Erm, well I'm too busy at work/uni to do much else (apart from waste time of here) and erm have became increasingly anti-social, realising I don't really like anyone, apart from me. Woo-hoo
I feel like an empty cardboard box at the moment. Modus In-betweenus. Sometimes I become so nauseated by the world that I can't think or do anything.
I do not have a link to this crappy animation as it is not on the internet. It is on my computer. There isnt much point in airing it to the world cos everyones just gonna say its crape cos ....it IS. but I think its good for our first animation.
Hmm. I have had an indirect bad experience with antidepressants, in that one of my friends who was on them committed suicide. That would really put me off ever taking them.
Grix Thraves wrote:
> The medication is fantastic, I'm far less confused than what I was.
I love how medication can seemingly untangle the mind. It's like magic.
> The medication is fantastic, I'm far less confused than what I was.
I love how medication can seemingly untangle the mind. It's like magic.
Had a very brief thing with an antidepressant that i can't remember the name of, didn't like it at all, made me feel dead and took my appetite but having said that i seem to remember being given something when i was 12 that sent me through the roof and turned me into a giggling idiot, that was fun.
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