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Or days, if you will.
After moving to daytime hours last Monday, MoJo has been waking up at 6:30am and not getting in until 6pm. Just the week before I wasn't even going to work until 4pm. Anyway, despite being a bit shattered I was out on Saturday for my mate Chris' 21st.
Only he wasn't there. Or at least, he wasn't there yet, but when you consider the fact that we didn't get into the first club until 9:30, and he didn't even call us until an hour later, it didn't look like he'd be having a long night.
Went to Mood. Wal got searched on the way in. All his pockets were emptied, he was checked up and down several times by bouncers, they went through all his belongings... this went on for almost five minutes while we stood watching, smiling in disbelief. So when they finally decided he wasn't a terrorist we went inside. Went to the bar to get the first round in, place was packed, waited ages, finally got served, asked for two pints of Fosters and two bottles of Coors... she produced two half pint glasses and filled them up. Then asked what I wanted with my vodka.
Hmm... in all the years I've been drinking in pubs and clubs, that's the first time anyone has ever messed up my order. So I say two bottles of Coors again and she says they don't have it (last time I was in there there were Coors posters EVERYWHERE and it was just about the only bottle they sold) so she ran off a list of other beers. I thought I heard Budweiser mentioned so I said "Yeah, Bud" and was given two bottles of Corona. Well, at least she didn't give me an alcopop. I knew there was no point in trying to get two real pints of beer, so I just handed them to Fos and Mark who looked at me as though I'd just dug up their grandparent's graves and did the vertical nasty with the bodies. They thought I was just being stingy by getting them half pints, but truth be told that round cost a tenner. Add all the beer up and you've just about got two pints worth, and it cost a tenner. Bah.
As Mark and Fos tried to hide their puny drinks, I saw my friend Jo who works there at the bar, she didn't see us so we went upstairs to the RnB section and saw Kimberly, who also works there. No free drinks, though, their manager looks out for that sort of thing.
So we stood around, listening to Snoop Dogg, surrounded by big black guys, most of whom disproved the theory that all brothers can dance. Newcastle is the home of stunners, and by God there were some nice lookers in there that night. Same as every other night.
Kimberly couldn't quite understand why we were out at 10pm for Chris' birthday, and he wasn't even with us. Anyway, saw a lass from work (every time we go out some beautiful girl comes up and says hello and my friends think I'm pulling until I go "Na, she's from work") then disappeared to Sam Jack's, a western themed bar which rips off Buffalo Joe's, another western themed bar which does a better job of it. But hey, they both have skimpily clad girls dancing in cowboy hats, so who can complain?
With no sign of Chris and me having a job interview the next day, I left by myself at about 11 and got the metro home.
Went to the job thing today (not even an interview, just a literacy/numeric test) which is right next to my house (even closer than my current workplace) Got ushered into a dining hall place, with desks set up. I was having flashbacks of my GCSEs/A levels while some woman read from a script like a robot. Literacy test wasn't too bad, just had to read a letter and circle the spelling mistakes (though it was full of grammatical errors too, but you were just meant to circle single words, not entire sentences) I found 11 out of the 15 that were meant to be there. I could've circled half the letter, it was so poorly written, but I wasn't sure how anal they wanted us to be about it.
The numeracy test wasn't much fun. I got an E at GCSE maths, I didn't hand in half my coursework and had about 60/70% attendance for my lessons. I'm not good at maths, I don't like maths, I never went in for maths lessons, meaning I'm still not good at maths. Well, utterly crap is the phrase I'd use.
Most of it was OK, just looking at different tables and saying which rooms had wheelchair access and had so many seats etc. Most of it was common sense, and we had calculators. It was alright until I got to the percentages. I just don't know how to do them, simple as that. I remember being taught about five, six years ago, but I haven't had a maths lesson in over four years, and in those four years I've never ONCE had to use anything which I didn't learn in primary school.
I knew I should have practiced... So I guessed one or two (well, four or five) and was the first one finished. Never a good sign. We had 18 minutes and I was sat staring into space for almost five. So then we were free! And later today I'm hopefully off to the pub to laugh about confused bar maids and what the ratio of computers to wheel chairs in a made up college is. Huzzah!
After moving to daytime hours last Monday, MoJo has been waking up at 6:30am and not getting in until 6pm. Just the week before I wasn't even going to work until 4pm. Anyway, despite being a bit shattered I was out on Saturday for my mate Chris' 21st.
Only he wasn't there. Or at least, he wasn't there yet, but when you consider the fact that we didn't get into the first club until 9:30, and he didn't even call us until an hour later, it didn't look like he'd be having a long night.
Went to Mood. Wal got searched on the way in. All his pockets were emptied, he was checked up and down several times by bouncers, they went through all his belongings... this went on for almost five minutes while we stood watching, smiling in disbelief. So when they finally decided he wasn't a terrorist we went inside. Went to the bar to get the first round in, place was packed, waited ages, finally got served, asked for two pints of Fosters and two bottles of Coors... she produced two half pint glasses and filled them up. Then asked what I wanted with my vodka.
Hmm... in all the years I've been drinking in pubs and clubs, that's the first time anyone has ever messed up my order. So I say two bottles of Coors again and she says they don't have it (last time I was in there there were Coors posters EVERYWHERE and it was just about the only bottle they sold) so she ran off a list of other beers. I thought I heard Budweiser mentioned so I said "Yeah, Bud" and was given two bottles of Corona. Well, at least she didn't give me an alcopop. I knew there was no point in trying to get two real pints of beer, so I just handed them to Fos and Mark who looked at me as though I'd just dug up their grandparent's graves and did the vertical nasty with the bodies. They thought I was just being stingy by getting them half pints, but truth be told that round cost a tenner. Add all the beer up and you've just about got two pints worth, and it cost a tenner. Bah.
As Mark and Fos tried to hide their puny drinks, I saw my friend Jo who works there at the bar, she didn't see us so we went upstairs to the RnB section and saw Kimberly, who also works there. No free drinks, though, their manager looks out for that sort of thing.
So we stood around, listening to Snoop Dogg, surrounded by big black guys, most of whom disproved the theory that all brothers can dance. Newcastle is the home of stunners, and by God there were some nice lookers in there that night. Same as every other night.
Kimberly couldn't quite understand why we were out at 10pm for Chris' birthday, and he wasn't even with us. Anyway, saw a lass from work (every time we go out some beautiful girl comes up and says hello and my friends think I'm pulling until I go "Na, she's from work") then disappeared to Sam Jack's, a western themed bar which rips off Buffalo Joe's, another western themed bar which does a better job of it. But hey, they both have skimpily clad girls dancing in cowboy hats, so who can complain?
With no sign of Chris and me having a job interview the next day, I left by myself at about 11 and got the metro home.
Went to the job thing today (not even an interview, just a literacy/numeric test) which is right next to my house (even closer than my current workplace) Got ushered into a dining hall place, with desks set up. I was having flashbacks of my GCSEs/A levels while some woman read from a script like a robot. Literacy test wasn't too bad, just had to read a letter and circle the spelling mistakes (though it was full of grammatical errors too, but you were just meant to circle single words, not entire sentences) I found 11 out of the 15 that were meant to be there. I could've circled half the letter, it was so poorly written, but I wasn't sure how anal they wanted us to be about it.
The numeracy test wasn't much fun. I got an E at GCSE maths, I didn't hand in half my coursework and had about 60/70% attendance for my lessons. I'm not good at maths, I don't like maths, I never went in for maths lessons, meaning I'm still not good at maths. Well, utterly crap is the phrase I'd use.
Most of it was OK, just looking at different tables and saying which rooms had wheelchair access and had so many seats etc. Most of it was common sense, and we had calculators. It was alright until I got to the percentages. I just don't know how to do them, simple as that. I remember being taught about five, six years ago, but I haven't had a maths lesson in over four years, and in those four years I've never ONCE had to use anything which I didn't learn in primary school.
I knew I should have practiced... So I guessed one or two (well, four or five) and was the first one finished. Never a good sign. We had 18 minutes and I was sat staring into space for almost five. So then we were free! And later today I'm hopefully off to the pub to laugh about confused bar maids and what the ratio of computers to wheel chairs in a made up college is. Huzzah!
MoJoJoJo wrote:
> What, do you have a time machine or something?
Ahaha, greatness.
> What, do you have a time machine or something?
Ahaha, greatness.
What, do you have a time machine or something?
Sounds funnish.
or not.
I still enjoy reading about your little capers. Reminds me of when I was your age.
or not.
I still enjoy reading about your little capers. Reminds me of when I was your age.
Only one mentioning of The Wal?
Pfft.
Pfft.
Or days, if you will.
After moving to daytime hours last Monday, MoJo has been waking up at 6:30am and not getting in until 6pm. Just the week before I wasn't even going to work until 4pm. Anyway, despite being a bit shattered I was out on Saturday for my mate Chris' 21st.
Only he wasn't there. Or at least, he wasn't there yet, but when you consider the fact that we didn't get into the first club until 9:30, and he didn't even call us until an hour later, it didn't look like he'd be having a long night.
Went to Mood. Wal got searched on the way in. All his pockets were emptied, he was checked up and down several times by bouncers, they went through all his belongings... this went on for almost five minutes while we stood watching, smiling in disbelief. So when they finally decided he wasn't a terrorist we went inside. Went to the bar to get the first round in, place was packed, waited ages, finally got served, asked for two pints of Fosters and two bottles of Coors... she produced two half pint glasses and filled them up. Then asked what I wanted with my vodka.
Hmm... in all the years I've been drinking in pubs and clubs, that's the first time anyone has ever messed up my order. So I say two bottles of Coors again and she says they don't have it (last time I was in there there were Coors posters EVERYWHERE and it was just about the only bottle they sold) so she ran off a list of other beers. I thought I heard Budweiser mentioned so I said "Yeah, Bud" and was given two bottles of Corona. Well, at least she didn't give me an alcopop. I knew there was no point in trying to get two real pints of beer, so I just handed them to Fos and Mark who looked at me as though I'd just dug up their grandparent's graves and did the vertical nasty with the bodies. They thought I was just being stingy by getting them half pints, but truth be told that round cost a tenner. Add all the beer up and you've just about got two pints worth, and it cost a tenner. Bah.
As Mark and Fos tried to hide their puny drinks, I saw my friend Jo who works there at the bar, she didn't see us so we went upstairs to the RnB section and saw Kimberly, who also works there. No free drinks, though, their manager looks out for that sort of thing.
So we stood around, listening to Snoop Dogg, surrounded by big black guys, most of whom disproved the theory that all brothers can dance. Newcastle is the home of stunners, and by God there were some nice lookers in there that night. Same as every other night.
Kimberly couldn't quite understand why we were out at 10pm for Chris' birthday, and he wasn't even with us. Anyway, saw a lass from work (every time we go out some beautiful girl comes up and says hello and my friends think I'm pulling until I go "Na, she's from work") then disappeared to Sam Jack's, a western themed bar which rips off Buffalo Joe's, another western themed bar which does a better job of it. But hey, they both have skimpily clad girls dancing in cowboy hats, so who can complain?
With no sign of Chris and me having a job interview the next day, I left by myself at about 11 and got the metro home.
Went to the job thing today (not even an interview, just a literacy/numeric test) which is right next to my house (even closer than my current workplace) Got ushered into a dining hall place, with desks set up. I was having flashbacks of my GCSEs/A levels while some woman read from a script like a robot. Literacy test wasn't too bad, just had to read a letter and circle the spelling mistakes (though it was full of grammatical errors too, but you were just meant to circle single words, not entire sentences) I found 11 out of the 15 that were meant to be there. I could've circled half the letter, it was so poorly written, but I wasn't sure how anal they wanted us to be about it.
The numeracy test wasn't much fun. I got an E at GCSE maths, I didn't hand in half my coursework and had about 60/70% attendance for my lessons. I'm not good at maths, I don't like maths, I never went in for maths lessons, meaning I'm still not good at maths. Well, utterly crap is the phrase I'd use.
Most of it was OK, just looking at different tables and saying which rooms had wheelchair access and had so many seats etc. Most of it was common sense, and we had calculators. It was alright until I got to the percentages. I just don't know how to do them, simple as that. I remember being taught about five, six years ago, but I haven't had a maths lesson in over four years, and in those four years I've never ONCE had to use anything which I didn't learn in primary school.
I knew I should have practiced... So I guessed one or two (well, four or five) and was the first one finished. Never a good sign. We had 18 minutes and I was sat staring into space for almost five. So then we were free! And later today I'm hopefully off to the pub to laugh about confused bar maids and what the ratio of computers to wheel chairs in a made up college is. Huzzah!
After moving to daytime hours last Monday, MoJo has been waking up at 6:30am and not getting in until 6pm. Just the week before I wasn't even going to work until 4pm. Anyway, despite being a bit shattered I was out on Saturday for my mate Chris' 21st.
Only he wasn't there. Or at least, he wasn't there yet, but when you consider the fact that we didn't get into the first club until 9:30, and he didn't even call us until an hour later, it didn't look like he'd be having a long night.
Went to Mood. Wal got searched on the way in. All his pockets were emptied, he was checked up and down several times by bouncers, they went through all his belongings... this went on for almost five minutes while we stood watching, smiling in disbelief. So when they finally decided he wasn't a terrorist we went inside. Went to the bar to get the first round in, place was packed, waited ages, finally got served, asked for two pints of Fosters and two bottles of Coors... she produced two half pint glasses and filled them up. Then asked what I wanted with my vodka.
Hmm... in all the years I've been drinking in pubs and clubs, that's the first time anyone has ever messed up my order. So I say two bottles of Coors again and she says they don't have it (last time I was in there there were Coors posters EVERYWHERE and it was just about the only bottle they sold) so she ran off a list of other beers. I thought I heard Budweiser mentioned so I said "Yeah, Bud" and was given two bottles of Corona. Well, at least she didn't give me an alcopop. I knew there was no point in trying to get two real pints of beer, so I just handed them to Fos and Mark who looked at me as though I'd just dug up their grandparent's graves and did the vertical nasty with the bodies. They thought I was just being stingy by getting them half pints, but truth be told that round cost a tenner. Add all the beer up and you've just about got two pints worth, and it cost a tenner. Bah.
As Mark and Fos tried to hide their puny drinks, I saw my friend Jo who works there at the bar, she didn't see us so we went upstairs to the RnB section and saw Kimberly, who also works there. No free drinks, though, their manager looks out for that sort of thing.
So we stood around, listening to Snoop Dogg, surrounded by big black guys, most of whom disproved the theory that all brothers can dance. Newcastle is the home of stunners, and by God there were some nice lookers in there that night. Same as every other night.
Kimberly couldn't quite understand why we were out at 10pm for Chris' birthday, and he wasn't even with us. Anyway, saw a lass from work (every time we go out some beautiful girl comes up and says hello and my friends think I'm pulling until I go "Na, she's from work") then disappeared to Sam Jack's, a western themed bar which rips off Buffalo Joe's, another western themed bar which does a better job of it. But hey, they both have skimpily clad girls dancing in cowboy hats, so who can complain?
With no sign of Chris and me having a job interview the next day, I left by myself at about 11 and got the metro home.
Went to the job thing today (not even an interview, just a literacy/numeric test) which is right next to my house (even closer than my current workplace) Got ushered into a dining hall place, with desks set up. I was having flashbacks of my GCSEs/A levels while some woman read from a script like a robot. Literacy test wasn't too bad, just had to read a letter and circle the spelling mistakes (though it was full of grammatical errors too, but you were just meant to circle single words, not entire sentences) I found 11 out of the 15 that were meant to be there. I could've circled half the letter, it was so poorly written, but I wasn't sure how anal they wanted us to be about it.
The numeracy test wasn't much fun. I got an E at GCSE maths, I didn't hand in half my coursework and had about 60/70% attendance for my lessons. I'm not good at maths, I don't like maths, I never went in for maths lessons, meaning I'm still not good at maths. Well, utterly crap is the phrase I'd use.
Most of it was OK, just looking at different tables and saying which rooms had wheelchair access and had so many seats etc. Most of it was common sense, and we had calculators. It was alright until I got to the percentages. I just don't know how to do them, simple as that. I remember being taught about five, six years ago, but I haven't had a maths lesson in over four years, and in those four years I've never ONCE had to use anything which I didn't learn in primary school.
I knew I should have practiced... So I guessed one or two (well, four or five) and was the first one finished. Never a good sign. We had 18 minutes and I was sat staring into space for almost five. So then we were free! And later today I'm hopefully off to the pub to laugh about confused bar maids and what the ratio of computers to wheel chairs in a made up college is. Huzzah!