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So I'll post you a random joke that I've just found, because it's funny*:
*Amusing/Crap
A man is waiting for his wife to give birth.
The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs.
The son is just a head!
But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and
compassion.
After 18 years, the son is now old enough for his first drink.
Dad takes him to the bar, tearfully tells the son he is proud of him and
orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy.
With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol.
Swoop! A torso pops out!
The bar is dead silent; then bursts into a whoop of joy.
The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again.
The patrons chant "Take another drink"!
The bartender still shakes his head in dismay.
Swoop! Two arms pops out.
The bar goes wild. The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again.
The patrons chant "Take another drink"!
The bartender ignores the whole affair.
By now the boy is getting tipsy, and with his new hands he reaches down,
grabs his drink and guzzles the last of it.
Swoop! Two legs pop out.
The bar is in chaos. The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God.
The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the left....then to the
right.... right through the front door, into the street, where a BAMMM! a
truck runs over him and kills him instantly.
The bar falls silent.
The father moans in grief. The bartender sighs and says...
"He should have quit while he was a head!"
*Amusing/Crap
A man is waiting for his wife to give birth.
The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs.
The son is just a head!
But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and
compassion.
After 18 years, the son is now old enough for his first drink.
Dad takes him to the bar, tearfully tells the son he is proud of him and
orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy.
With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol.
Swoop! A torso pops out!
The bar is dead silent; then bursts into a whoop of joy.
The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again.
The patrons chant "Take another drink"!
The bartender still shakes his head in dismay.
Swoop! Two arms pops out.
The bar goes wild. The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again.
The patrons chant "Take another drink"!
The bartender ignores the whole affair.
By now the boy is getting tipsy, and with his new hands he reaches down,
grabs his drink and guzzles the last of it.
Swoop! Two legs pop out.
The bar is in chaos. The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God.
The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the left....then to the
right.... right through the front door, into the street, where a BAMMM! a
truck runs over him and kills him instantly.
The bar falls silent.
The father moans in grief. The bartender sighs and says...
"He should have quit while he was a head!"
or like when you falter as your mum knocks on your bedroom door, and the entire fantasy is ruined?
Compassion, yeah.
Like when you trap your old man while using a drawer as a way to get a quick fix?
Like when you trap your old man while using a drawer as a way to get a quick fix?
Not on the internet.
Does nobody feel no compassion these days?
As much as a love making love to a leper.
Oh shut up, I know you love it.
*Groan*
At least your record's still in tact.
So I'll post you a random joke that I've just found, because it's funny*:
*Amusing/Crap
A man is waiting for his wife to give birth.
The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs.
The son is just a head!
But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and
compassion.
After 18 years, the son is now old enough for his first drink.
Dad takes him to the bar, tearfully tells the son he is proud of him and
orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy.
With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol.
Swoop! A torso pops out!
The bar is dead silent; then bursts into a whoop of joy.
The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again.
The patrons chant "Take another drink"!
The bartender still shakes his head in dismay.
Swoop! Two arms pops out.
The bar goes wild. The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again.
The patrons chant "Take another drink"!
The bartender ignores the whole affair.
By now the boy is getting tipsy, and with his new hands he reaches down,
grabs his drink and guzzles the last of it.
Swoop! Two legs pop out.
The bar is in chaos. The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God.
The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the left....then to the
right.... right through the front door, into the street, where a BAMMM! a
truck runs over him and kills him instantly.
The bar falls silent.
The father moans in grief. The bartender sighs and says...
"He should have quit while he was a head!"
*Amusing/Crap
A man is waiting for his wife to give birth.
The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs.
The son is just a head!
But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and
compassion.
After 18 years, the son is now old enough for his first drink.
Dad takes him to the bar, tearfully tells the son he is proud of him and
orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy.
With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol.
Swoop! A torso pops out!
The bar is dead silent; then bursts into a whoop of joy.
The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again.
The patrons chant "Take another drink"!
The bartender still shakes his head in dismay.
Swoop! Two arms pops out.
The bar goes wild. The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again.
The patrons chant "Take another drink"!
The bartender ignores the whole affair.
By now the boy is getting tipsy, and with his new hands he reaches down,
grabs his drink and guzzles the last of it.
Swoop! Two legs pop out.
The bar is in chaos. The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God.
The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the left....then to the
right.... right through the front door, into the street, where a BAMMM! a
truck runs over him and kills him instantly.
The bar falls silent.
The father moans in grief. The bartender sighs and says...
"He should have quit while he was a head!"