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...I was when I first joined these forums, I looked around and everywhere I looked someone was discussing something that was way above me and my thoughts. I loved that feeling. I didn't realise it at the time of course, but it was brilliant. Most of all I could come up with was "LOLRORLROFLOWTF OMG!!ELEVEN", but it didn't bother me, aslong as I could observe all these intelligent people having conversations with each other... truly fascinating. I left for a while as I realised that I had no real reason to be there.
Everyday life was better too, I did things without thinking, often having to dig my way out of trouble afterwards, but it was all good fun. I had a best friend, spent most of my spare time with him playing on his consoles ('cause he was f**king rich and had just about everything :D), or playing football or something.
Eventually I realised that I was indeed stupid, and tried to become more intelligent, just to get along in life better, and also to perhaps converse with people on that forum I used to visit long ago. But I'd leave that for a while.
Then came along secondary school, with that, I saw less and less of my best friend, found new friends, but as I now realise, none of them ever compared to my old best friend, even if he was the biggest t*t on the planet. I did become intelligent, being in the best classes (most of the time) in my year, but I was still lazy, not doing homework and such. This being lazy was my downfall.
I was never really shy 'till a few years ago, about the same time I started coming back to this forum, which I then saw as not so much the intelligent place I used to see it as. I found I could actually read through most of it without thinking "Eh?"... But I still came back, to talk, 'cause my normal life had gone downhill. I became shy... I say that, but it was more forced upon me. Everytime I opened my mouth, it was usually followed by a "Shut up", and I eventually did. Not much self confidence I had, what with being told to shut up all the time, and generally having a feeling of not being liked by anyone.
It started to get quite bad just before summer, I hardly talked at all, no one talked to me, I was starting to do really crappy in school, despite me still actually being smarter than the majority of the fools I'm stuck with. Still managed to stay ahead in maths though, now doing it's GCSE a year early, then doing A-level next year. But anyway, I felt like I had no friends, no one to talk to, nothing to do. So I relied more heavily on the internet. Not a brilliant idea, it took me even further away from my 'friends' and school work.
Over the summer I did try improving things, I went out more, I talked more and was generally more sociable. I also fell in love with a girl who I spent all sumemr talking to, but I fecked that up nearer the end of the summer, which only started to depress me, and drag me once again from my friends and schoolwork. To this day I still feel incredibly strongly towards her.
I still feel pretty shi**y. Not only do my friends ignore me now, but they all ignore each other too. Just seems like everyone hates each other now, because of that I know get on pretty well with one of my friends, which I'm glad about. Having one proper friend is far better than having ten or so who I'd only just barely describe as friends.
Well after writing all this I'm starting to feel better for myself, so I couldn't really go on much more. Sorry for wasting your time and all, just needed to rant a bit.
Everyday life was better too, I did things without thinking, often having to dig my way out of trouble afterwards, but it was all good fun. I had a best friend, spent most of my spare time with him playing on his consoles ('cause he was f**king rich and had just about everything :D), or playing football or something.
Eventually I realised that I was indeed stupid, and tried to become more intelligent, just to get along in life better, and also to perhaps converse with people on that forum I used to visit long ago. But I'd leave that for a while.
Then came along secondary school, with that, I saw less and less of my best friend, found new friends, but as I now realise, none of them ever compared to my old best friend, even if he was the biggest t*t on the planet. I did become intelligent, being in the best classes (most of the time) in my year, but I was still lazy, not doing homework and such. This being lazy was my downfall.
I was never really shy 'till a few years ago, about the same time I started coming back to this forum, which I then saw as not so much the intelligent place I used to see it as. I found I could actually read through most of it without thinking "Eh?"... But I still came back, to talk, 'cause my normal life had gone downhill. I became shy... I say that, but it was more forced upon me. Everytime I opened my mouth, it was usually followed by a "Shut up", and I eventually did. Not much self confidence I had, what with being told to shut up all the time, and generally having a feeling of not being liked by anyone.
It started to get quite bad just before summer, I hardly talked at all, no one talked to me, I was starting to do really crappy in school, despite me still actually being smarter than the majority of the fools I'm stuck with. Still managed to stay ahead in maths though, now doing it's GCSE a year early, then doing A-level next year. But anyway, I felt like I had no friends, no one to talk to, nothing to do. So I relied more heavily on the internet. Not a brilliant idea, it took me even further away from my 'friends' and school work.
Over the summer I did try improving things, I went out more, I talked more and was generally more sociable. I also fell in love with a girl who I spent all sumemr talking to, but I fecked that up nearer the end of the summer, which only started to depress me, and drag me once again from my friends and schoolwork. To this day I still feel incredibly strongly towards her.
I still feel pretty shi**y. Not only do my friends ignore me now, but they all ignore each other too. Just seems like everyone hates each other now, because of that I know get on pretty well with one of my friends, which I'm glad about. Having one proper friend is far better than having ten or so who I'd only just barely describe as friends.
Well after writing all this I'm starting to feel better for myself, so I couldn't really go on much more. Sorry for wasting your time and all, just needed to rant a bit.
About ten minutes?
I started a new topic and wrote. Not much thinking went on. I'd worry for you if you feel touched. I should be shot or something.
I started a new topic and wrote. Not much thinking went on. I'd worry for you if you feel touched. I should be shot or something.
i liked your story it was touching. How long did it take you to write?
I don't know why... But I expected you to insult me in someway :D
And looking at that... That's the longest thing I've ever wrote :D
And looking at that... That's the longest thing I've ever wrote :D
I'm confused by your use of the past tense in the title.
:'}
:'}
...I was when I first joined these forums, I looked around and everywhere I looked someone was discussing something that was way above me and my thoughts. I loved that feeling. I didn't realise it at the time of course, but it was brilliant. Most of all I could come up with was "LOLRORLROFLOWTF OMG!!ELEVEN", but it didn't bother me, aslong as I could observe all these intelligent people having conversations with each other... truly fascinating. I left for a while as I realised that I had no real reason to be there.
Everyday life was better too, I did things without thinking, often having to dig my way out of trouble afterwards, but it was all good fun. I had a best friend, spent most of my spare time with him playing on his consoles ('cause he was f**king rich and had just about everything :D), or playing football or something.
Eventually I realised that I was indeed stupid, and tried to become more intelligent, just to get along in life better, and also to perhaps converse with people on that forum I used to visit long ago. But I'd leave that for a while.
Then came along secondary school, with that, I saw less and less of my best friend, found new friends, but as I now realise, none of them ever compared to my old best friend, even if he was the biggest t*t on the planet. I did become intelligent, being in the best classes (most of the time) in my year, but I was still lazy, not doing homework and such. This being lazy was my downfall.
I was never really shy 'till a few years ago, about the same time I started coming back to this forum, which I then saw as not so much the intelligent place I used to see it as. I found I could actually read through most of it without thinking "Eh?"... But I still came back, to talk, 'cause my normal life had gone downhill. I became shy... I say that, but it was more forced upon me. Everytime I opened my mouth, it was usually followed by a "Shut up", and I eventually did. Not much self confidence I had, what with being told to shut up all the time, and generally having a feeling of not being liked by anyone.
It started to get quite bad just before summer, I hardly talked at all, no one talked to me, I was starting to do really crappy in school, despite me still actually being smarter than the majority of the fools I'm stuck with. Still managed to stay ahead in maths though, now doing it's GCSE a year early, then doing A-level next year. But anyway, I felt like I had no friends, no one to talk to, nothing to do. So I relied more heavily on the internet. Not a brilliant idea, it took me even further away from my 'friends' and school work.
Over the summer I did try improving things, I went out more, I talked more and was generally more sociable. I also fell in love with a girl who I spent all sumemr talking to, but I fecked that up nearer the end of the summer, which only started to depress me, and drag me once again from my friends and schoolwork. To this day I still feel incredibly strongly towards her.
I still feel pretty shi**y. Not only do my friends ignore me now, but they all ignore each other too. Just seems like everyone hates each other now, because of that I know get on pretty well with one of my friends, which I'm glad about. Having one proper friend is far better than having ten or so who I'd only just barely describe as friends.
Well after writing all this I'm starting to feel better for myself, so I couldn't really go on much more. Sorry for wasting your time and all, just needed to rant a bit.
Everyday life was better too, I did things without thinking, often having to dig my way out of trouble afterwards, but it was all good fun. I had a best friend, spent most of my spare time with him playing on his consoles ('cause he was f**king rich and had just about everything :D), or playing football or something.
Eventually I realised that I was indeed stupid, and tried to become more intelligent, just to get along in life better, and also to perhaps converse with people on that forum I used to visit long ago. But I'd leave that for a while.
Then came along secondary school, with that, I saw less and less of my best friend, found new friends, but as I now realise, none of them ever compared to my old best friend, even if he was the biggest t*t on the planet. I did become intelligent, being in the best classes (most of the time) in my year, but I was still lazy, not doing homework and such. This being lazy was my downfall.
I was never really shy 'till a few years ago, about the same time I started coming back to this forum, which I then saw as not so much the intelligent place I used to see it as. I found I could actually read through most of it without thinking "Eh?"... But I still came back, to talk, 'cause my normal life had gone downhill. I became shy... I say that, but it was more forced upon me. Everytime I opened my mouth, it was usually followed by a "Shut up", and I eventually did. Not much self confidence I had, what with being told to shut up all the time, and generally having a feeling of not being liked by anyone.
It started to get quite bad just before summer, I hardly talked at all, no one talked to me, I was starting to do really crappy in school, despite me still actually being smarter than the majority of the fools I'm stuck with. Still managed to stay ahead in maths though, now doing it's GCSE a year early, then doing A-level next year. But anyway, I felt like I had no friends, no one to talk to, nothing to do. So I relied more heavily on the internet. Not a brilliant idea, it took me even further away from my 'friends' and school work.
Over the summer I did try improving things, I went out more, I talked more and was generally more sociable. I also fell in love with a girl who I spent all sumemr talking to, but I fecked that up nearer the end of the summer, which only started to depress me, and drag me once again from my friends and schoolwork. To this day I still feel incredibly strongly towards her.
I still feel pretty shi**y. Not only do my friends ignore me now, but they all ignore each other too. Just seems like everyone hates each other now, because of that I know get on pretty well with one of my friends, which I'm glad about. Having one proper friend is far better than having ten or so who I'd only just barely describe as friends.
Well after writing all this I'm starting to feel better for myself, so I couldn't really go on much more. Sorry for wasting your time and all, just needed to rant a bit.