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Ok dammit, we’ve just gone to far now, always stepping over the mark, what in the world have a Duck, a Swan and a turtle ever done to you. Nothing? Well help us help them…
Toilet Duck
Now you do not for any reason need to stick a ducks head around the lip of your toilet to see if it’ll clean it, and if it does, then go name a product after it. It’s just plain wrong. Firstly I would have wanted to make sure there was no mental illness or brain damage in the duck or its family to rule out the fact that it could be toilet rimming out of previously being hit by a very stale club sandwich.
Secondly I would like to see what sort of money the duck is earning out of the supplier, and I’d like to trace his family tree. The reason for this is I would like to check for any relation to Orville or Donald, which could lead to drug abuse, should the duck feel it’s not as famous as some of his distant relatives. A urine test may be needed to pursue further, to rule out any algae sniffing!!
Swan Matches
Who in the hell set fire to a swan and thought “Hmmmm, that would make a good name for a match, especially seeing as that swans gone up in flames like a petrol fuelled trailer park BBQ”. Who ever it was needs to be tortured in the same way that Swan was.
Sorry…whats that?…The swan volunteered?…Well in that case I want to know if the swan was a trained stunt swan and if it was fully kitted out in the state of the art fire proof clothing that we see stunt men and formula one drivers wear. Were there also people (or some swan friends, I won’t be prejudice) on standby with fire extinguishers, to extinguish the flames as soon as the swan game the signal?
Should this be the case there is one thing that still concerns me. What kind of swan would give the go ahead to have a wooden pole inserted up their rectum so they resemble a match. This raises the question that in fact it wasn’t a stunt swan but an old w***e of a swan who used to star in cheap swan blue movies, and this is all it can turn its hand to now it no longer is needed by the industry.
Turtle Wax
Comes in a surprisingly big bottle considering the size of some turtles. My main problem was always going to be that while the turtles may like a bit of artificial loving, theres only so much they can do per day every day to produce the vast quantities that are sold. It beggars belief that each bottle sold is shown with the one coloured turtle on the front that produced that wax. I’m sure it would have taken months to fill that bad boy up, and while it may have been fun at the outset…by the time it was half full I bet the Turtle was knackered!!
If the turtles actually volunteered for this and were given special turtle videos (not Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles…Heroes in a half shell….Turtle Power!!) and magazines then fair enough, but to keep going back again and again surely shows signs of addiction, and they should have been referred to a relevant doctor.
Should this wax actually be a form or tar which delicately fills in the scratches on our cars etc, then I would hope that it is not in the form of turtles bum tar. Firstly the turtle must have an infection for it to come out in that colour and secondly what sort of diet is that turtle eating for its rectum to prolapse in such an explosive way.
I think you can see from my analysis of these particular brands, as a society we need to do everything we can to help these poor animals rather than exploit them and their drug habits, background or illnesses. Whilst they have for many years helped in moving us humans on as a civilisation its time for us to stop dunking their heads in toilets (What ever happened to he weedy kid at school getting his head flushed…ahhh good days), and giving them artificial pleasure (What? No I didn’t mention Rebecca Loos….ahhh bum tar), and time for us to offer these used and abused animals homes where they can be loved and cared for.
P.S. Knackered Horses should be sent for the attention of Prit-Stick or Evo-Stick
Toilet Duck
Now you do not for any reason need to stick a ducks head around the lip of your toilet to see if it’ll clean it, and if it does, then go name a product after it. It’s just plain wrong. Firstly I would have wanted to make sure there was no mental illness or brain damage in the duck or its family to rule out the fact that it could be toilet rimming out of previously being hit by a very stale club sandwich.
Secondly I would like to see what sort of money the duck is earning out of the supplier, and I’d like to trace his family tree. The reason for this is I would like to check for any relation to Orville or Donald, which could lead to drug abuse, should the duck feel it’s not as famous as some of his distant relatives. A urine test may be needed to pursue further, to rule out any algae sniffing!!
Swan Matches
Who in the hell set fire to a swan and thought “Hmmmm, that would make a good name for a match, especially seeing as that swans gone up in flames like a petrol fuelled trailer park BBQ”. Who ever it was needs to be tortured in the same way that Swan was.
Sorry…whats that?…The swan volunteered?…Well in that case I want to know if the swan was a trained stunt swan and if it was fully kitted out in the state of the art fire proof clothing that we see stunt men and formula one drivers wear. Were there also people (or some swan friends, I won’t be prejudice) on standby with fire extinguishers, to extinguish the flames as soon as the swan game the signal?
Should this be the case there is one thing that still concerns me. What kind of swan would give the go ahead to have a wooden pole inserted up their rectum so they resemble a match. This raises the question that in fact it wasn’t a stunt swan but an old w***e of a swan who used to star in cheap swan blue movies, and this is all it can turn its hand to now it no longer is needed by the industry.
Turtle Wax
Comes in a surprisingly big bottle considering the size of some turtles. My main problem was always going to be that while the turtles may like a bit of artificial loving, theres only so much they can do per day every day to produce the vast quantities that are sold. It beggars belief that each bottle sold is shown with the one coloured turtle on the front that produced that wax. I’m sure it would have taken months to fill that bad boy up, and while it may have been fun at the outset…by the time it was half full I bet the Turtle was knackered!!
If the turtles actually volunteered for this and were given special turtle videos (not Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles…Heroes in a half shell….Turtle Power!!) and magazines then fair enough, but to keep going back again and again surely shows signs of addiction, and they should have been referred to a relevant doctor.
Should this wax actually be a form or tar which delicately fills in the scratches on our cars etc, then I would hope that it is not in the form of turtles bum tar. Firstly the turtle must have an infection for it to come out in that colour and secondly what sort of diet is that turtle eating for its rectum to prolapse in such an explosive way.
I think you can see from my analysis of these particular brands, as a society we need to do everything we can to help these poor animals rather than exploit them and their drug habits, background or illnesses. Whilst they have for many years helped in moving us humans on as a civilisation its time for us to stop dunking their heads in toilets (What ever happened to he weedy kid at school getting his head flushed…ahhh good days), and giving them artificial pleasure (What? No I didn’t mention Rebecca Loos….ahhh bum tar), and time for us to offer these used and abused animals homes where they can be loved and cared for.
P.S. Knackered Horses should be sent for the attention of Prit-Stick or Evo-Stick
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Ok dammit, we’ve just gone to far now, always stepping over the mark, what in the world have a Duck, a Swan and a turtle ever done to you. Nothing? Well help us help them…
Toilet Duck
Now you do not for any reason need to stick a ducks head around the lip of your toilet to see if it’ll clean it, and if it does, then go name a product after it. It’s just plain wrong. Firstly I would have wanted to make sure there was no mental illness or brain damage in the duck or its family to rule out the fact that it could be toilet rimming out of previously being hit by a very stale club sandwich.
Secondly I would like to see what sort of money the duck is earning out of the supplier, and I’d like to trace his family tree. The reason for this is I would like to check for any relation to Orville or Donald, which could lead to drug abuse, should the duck feel it’s not as famous as some of his distant relatives. A urine test may be needed to pursue further, to rule out any algae sniffing!!
Swan Matches
Who in the hell set fire to a swan and thought “Hmmmm, that would make a good name for a match, especially seeing as that swans gone up in flames like a petrol fuelled trailer park BBQ”. Who ever it was needs to be tortured in the same way that Swan was.
Sorry…whats that?…The swan volunteered?…Well in that case I want to know if the swan was a trained stunt swan and if it was fully kitted out in the state of the art fire proof clothing that we see stunt men and formula one drivers wear. Were there also people (or some swan friends, I won’t be prejudice) on standby with fire extinguishers, to extinguish the flames as soon as the swan game the signal?
Should this be the case there is one thing that still concerns me. What kind of swan would give the go ahead to have a wooden pole inserted up their rectum so they resemble a match. This raises the question that in fact it wasn’t a stunt swan but an old w***e of a swan who used to star in cheap swan blue movies, and this is all it can turn its hand to now it no longer is needed by the industry.
Turtle Wax
Comes in a surprisingly big bottle considering the size of some turtles. My main problem was always going to be that while the turtles may like a bit of artificial loving, theres only so much they can do per day every day to produce the vast quantities that are sold. It beggars belief that each bottle sold is shown with the one coloured turtle on the front that produced that wax. I’m sure it would have taken months to fill that bad boy up, and while it may have been fun at the outset…by the time it was half full I bet the Turtle was knackered!!
If the turtles actually volunteered for this and were given special turtle videos (not Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles…Heroes in a half shell….Turtle Power!!) and magazines then fair enough, but to keep going back again and again surely shows signs of addiction, and they should have been referred to a relevant doctor.
Should this wax actually be a form or tar which delicately fills in the scratches on our cars etc, then I would hope that it is not in the form of turtles bum tar. Firstly the turtle must have an infection for it to come out in that colour and secondly what sort of diet is that turtle eating for its rectum to prolapse in such an explosive way.
I think you can see from my analysis of these particular brands, as a society we need to do everything we can to help these poor animals rather than exploit them and their drug habits, background or illnesses. Whilst they have for many years helped in moving us humans on as a civilisation its time for us to stop dunking their heads in toilets (What ever happened to he weedy kid at school getting his head flushed…ahhh good days), and giving them artificial pleasure (What? No I didn’t mention Rebecca Loos….ahhh bum tar), and time for us to offer these used and abused animals homes where they can be loved and cared for.
P.S. Knackered Horses should be sent for the attention of Prit-Stick or Evo-Stick
Toilet Duck
Now you do not for any reason need to stick a ducks head around the lip of your toilet to see if it’ll clean it, and if it does, then go name a product after it. It’s just plain wrong. Firstly I would have wanted to make sure there was no mental illness or brain damage in the duck or its family to rule out the fact that it could be toilet rimming out of previously being hit by a very stale club sandwich.
Secondly I would like to see what sort of money the duck is earning out of the supplier, and I’d like to trace his family tree. The reason for this is I would like to check for any relation to Orville or Donald, which could lead to drug abuse, should the duck feel it’s not as famous as some of his distant relatives. A urine test may be needed to pursue further, to rule out any algae sniffing!!
Swan Matches
Who in the hell set fire to a swan and thought “Hmmmm, that would make a good name for a match, especially seeing as that swans gone up in flames like a petrol fuelled trailer park BBQ”. Who ever it was needs to be tortured in the same way that Swan was.
Sorry…whats that?…The swan volunteered?…Well in that case I want to know if the swan was a trained stunt swan and if it was fully kitted out in the state of the art fire proof clothing that we see stunt men and formula one drivers wear. Were there also people (or some swan friends, I won’t be prejudice) on standby with fire extinguishers, to extinguish the flames as soon as the swan game the signal?
Should this be the case there is one thing that still concerns me. What kind of swan would give the go ahead to have a wooden pole inserted up their rectum so they resemble a match. This raises the question that in fact it wasn’t a stunt swan but an old w***e of a swan who used to star in cheap swan blue movies, and this is all it can turn its hand to now it no longer is needed by the industry.
Turtle Wax
Comes in a surprisingly big bottle considering the size of some turtles. My main problem was always going to be that while the turtles may like a bit of artificial loving, theres only so much they can do per day every day to produce the vast quantities that are sold. It beggars belief that each bottle sold is shown with the one coloured turtle on the front that produced that wax. I’m sure it would have taken months to fill that bad boy up, and while it may have been fun at the outset…by the time it was half full I bet the Turtle was knackered!!
If the turtles actually volunteered for this and were given special turtle videos (not Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles…Heroes in a half shell….Turtle Power!!) and magazines then fair enough, but to keep going back again and again surely shows signs of addiction, and they should have been referred to a relevant doctor.
Should this wax actually be a form or tar which delicately fills in the scratches on our cars etc, then I would hope that it is not in the form of turtles bum tar. Firstly the turtle must have an infection for it to come out in that colour and secondly what sort of diet is that turtle eating for its rectum to prolapse in such an explosive way.
I think you can see from my analysis of these particular brands, as a society we need to do everything we can to help these poor animals rather than exploit them and their drug habits, background or illnesses. Whilst they have for many years helped in moving us humans on as a civilisation its time for us to stop dunking their heads in toilets (What ever happened to he weedy kid at school getting his head flushed…ahhh good days), and giving them artificial pleasure (What? No I didn’t mention Rebecca Loos….ahhh bum tar), and time for us to offer these used and abused animals homes where they can be loved and cared for.
P.S. Knackered Horses should be sent for the attention of Prit-Stick or Evo-Stick