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"Nobody does it better!
The typical British N64 player is much better in bed than his fellow countrymen.
February 24, 1999 - We swear we did not make this up...
The latest issue of CTW Magazine reports that a UK study commissioned by Nintendo on the sex lives of N64 players yielded some interesting results.
The researchers spoke to the partners of a representative sample of British males and found that N64 owners scored better in love-making than non-game players. Candidates were rated on various categories including stamina, vigor, technique, flexibility and consideration for their partners.
The report did not reveal any conclusions as to the relationship between being an expert on the Nintendo 64 and an expert in bed -- but we have some of our own theories on the findings. Of the categories that were rated we choose some characters that could be emulated to increase your effectiveness in these areas.
Stamina ?- Mario
Vigor ?- Turok
Technique -- Zelda
Consideration for Partners -- Banjo
Incidentally, a study commissioned by IGN64 found that free-range chickens that were placed in CD slots of PlayStation units had considerably less feathers than those left alone in the coop -- especially after closing the lids."
[URL]http://xbox.ign.com/articles/580/580242p1.html[/URL]
A reminder of back when IGN weren't nobtards.
"Nobody does it better!
The typical British N64 player is much better in bed than his fellow countrymen.
February 24, 1999 - We swear we did not make this up...
The latest issue of CTW Magazine reports that a UK study commissioned by Nintendo on the sex lives of N64 players yielded some interesting results.
The researchers spoke to the partners of a representative sample of British males and found that N64 owners scored better in love-making than non-game players. Candidates were rated on various categories including stamina, vigor, technique, flexibility and consideration for their partners.
The report did not reveal any conclusions as to the relationship between being an expert on the Nintendo 64 and an expert in bed -- but we have some of our own theories on the findings. Of the categories that were rated we choose some characters that could be emulated to increase your effectiveness in these areas.
Stamina ?- Mario
Vigor ?- Turok
Technique -- Zelda
Consideration for Partners -- Banjo
Incidentally, a study commissioned by IGN64 found that free-range chickens that were placed in CD slots of PlayStation units had considerably less feathers than those left alone in the coop -- especially after closing the lids."