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Shadow of Memories
Shadow of Destiny
Who can break in to a car and drive away the fastest? As we cannot show you the face of the thieves, imagine thief one is Craig David (cartoon floaty Craig David head appears), and thief two is Brian May from Queen (cartoon floaty Brian May head appears). Place your bets! Or how about gimp waterslide racing?
Why have Fantasy League Footie when you can have Fantasy Fight Club:
Baby Vs The Sea
Outcome: The sea lapped in and out, Baby sat on sand and ate dog-poo. Draw
Baby Vs The A Team
Outcome: Baby got on plane with parents. A Team missed plane waiting for Mr T to drink drugged milk. Baby won.
"I pity da fool with that jibba-jabba"
Baby Vs Airwolf
Outcome: Ernest Borgnine used missiles on baby. Baby slept through attack and fouled nappy. Airwolf wins.
The best one was two bengal tigers vs killer bees vs Horde of rats vs jellyfish vs dogs vs Paul Ince.
"And Paul Ince appears to be dead, the bees are stinging him and he's not moving..."
Outcome: Nintendo fans lose by getting too frustrated.
Baby vs. Dolphin
Outcome: Ahhh purty dolphin. Dolphin gagged. Baby wins.
Baby vs. Butter
Outcome: Draw. Butter eaten. Babies dies from high cholesterol levels.
I really am no good at this.
The microwave just sits there, inert.
Even the weakest, shaky legged baby can fall onto it, breaking the seal around the door, rendering it useless.
Therefore baby wins.
Come on people, use your brains when creating
Baby Vs (insert opponent here)
The all time top Baby Battles are:
Baby Vs Rabbit
Outcome: Rabbit hopped under the shed and won by default.
Baby Vs Stoat
Outcome: Baby fell on Stoat. Baby won
Baby Vs Hedgehog
Outcome: Both fighters sat on floor and slept. Draw
Baby Vs Goldfish
Outcome: Baby laughed and slapped surface of water with face. Fish died. Baby wins
But twice a month, join me at a secret location for more Infant Fisticuffs.
May's line-up includes:
Huge Baby Vs Cocker Spaniel
Toddler Vs Weavil
> Not even if the fight is in a bath?
No, the sides are slippery and the otter has nowhere to go.
In it's natural habitat, at least it can regather itself in local fauna, but this leads to the toddler blundering through bushes and generally falling down lots.
It destroys the impetus of the fight.
However, in a carefully controlled environment (pub car parks, playgrounds), it can be a fair match.