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KiLL JiLL vol. 1
Written by DJ
‘You murdered my father!’ Umi screamed at the trembling Chinese misfit squealing like a pig with a pitchfork lodged into its rear. Umi pointed her crimson stained sword at him, glaring at him with her piercing pupils. The rain lashed down upon the swollen landscape of China, tearing through the ground like a cluster of spears.
‘I had nothing to do with it!’ He cried. ‘Please don’t plunge your meaty weapon of choice into my heart!’
‘You’re heart? I was thinking more along the lines of your skull you rancid scum!’
‘Please,’ the guy screamed ‘I didn’t mean it. Jill made me do it.’ There was a deadly silence. The rain continued on, but time seemed to suddenly screech to a halt for Umi. The sky was wrapped tightly in a quilt of misery, and the whole land seemed to look on in disbelief.
‘Jill!’ Umi clutched the guy tightly by the throat until her razor nails began to peel into his skin like a blade through butter. She squeezed him tightly until his panting suddenly stopped and the guy fell lifeless toward the floor. Umi strided, brimming to the limit with anger, toward her Viper, parked by the roadside, and headed for the city.
Jill was a miserable old cow. Poisoned by evil, the crinkly old hag was once the babysitter of young Umi. But one night something happened, something so terrible and shocking no one in the entire city speaks of it. Only Jill, slowly disintegrating into single atoms is proud of what happened that night, and the oddly shaped, wrinkle covered beastly soul of hers will do anything to inflict the price of death onto the young, the deadly Umi.
After nailing a hand bag thief to the wall of the Holy Shrine in the city and tearing him in two, Umi decided to take a trip to the friendly wise-man of the city, Chang.
‘Where can I find Jill?’ Umi asked, perplexed and angered.
‘You cannot find Jill,’ Chang replied in his croaky voice, ‘Jill will find you, when she feels the time is right for you to meet her.’
So, after blowing a substantial amount of cash on this rip-off of a witch-doctor look alike, Umi decide to house her own ‘witch hunt’ in search for the beastly Jill.
The night was silent, and the moon beamed down upon the land. The stars, pinned to the moonlight sky, gleamed like fresh diamonds, and the land slept in peace. Umi, equipped with ‘weapons of choice’, made her way to ‘Moo Mansion’ a run-down scumyard of a place where the gangsters hang out and the thieves hide their loot. Umi knew Jill was waiting for her, she could feel it in her soul.
After reaching the ‘stereotypical haunted mansion’, Umi made her way bravely across the ivy-streaked cobbled path, leading toward a rusty porch and the enormous front door. Using the latest in Chinese Technology, Umi pick locked the door, Sam Fisher style, and proceeded into the scum’s paradise.
Inside nothing but darkness shadowed over the rooms of the house. Huge chandeliers, thick with cobwebs, hung lifeless from the roof, whilst the rotting floorboards creaked loudly. An eerie silence wafted gently through the tense atmosphere, and Umi felt the slightly nervous whilst walking through the house.
Then, BAM! An ear-piercing noise sliced through the silence that was present, and Umi fell to the floor, stunned and startled. She looked up, and almost threw up at what she saw. There, head to foot in Matalan value clothes and laughing an evil, witches laugh, was Jill.
‘Welcome my pretty!’ She croaked in a haunting voice. Umi drew her sword, and pointed it at the stinking life form that stood before her. Jill began to croak wildly, and suddenly Umi was startled by a bellowing bark that suddenly broke the atmosphere. Jill pointed her arthritic finger at Umi, and to her horror, a gnashing, drooling beast leapt onto the floor.
There before Umi stood Jill’s Jack Russell, Eyebrow. Eyebrow was a cold-hearted beast if there ever was one. His white fangs gleamed like gems, as thick layers of saliva slowly slid their way down his canines. His bony, meatless body was gruesome to set eyes upon, and his nails were more deadly than sharpened knives. Umi pointed her sword at the hideous form before her. Then, the dog leapt.
A bloody battle unfolded, with Umi tearing pieces from the beast until the floor was a coat of crimson. After withstanding a few life threatening blows, Eyebrow leapt at Umi and plunged his fangs deep into her leg. She let out a cry of unbearable pain, and whilst Eyebrow praised his actions, Umi swung her sword and pierced straight through Eyebrow. He fell to the floor, yapping like a French Poodle and blood squirting from him. Umi stood up, exhausted and lifeless, and looked on as Eyebrow gave his last yelps before going to the ‘better place’. Umi then looked up, but Jill had gone.
‘I’ll get you one day!’ Umi cried out into the engulfing darkness before her.
After taking a few weeks to recover from her experience, Umi took some time to train with the Samurai Warriors to house her skills, and it won’t be long before our girl will adventure forth to try and plunge her sword deep into Jill’s bony body. The job was only half done, and Umi still seeked revenge for her fathers death.
Thanks for reading. If you would like vol. 2, then please say so.
Written by DJ
‘You murdered my father!’ Umi screamed at the trembling Chinese misfit squealing like a pig with a pitchfork lodged into its rear. Umi pointed her crimson stained sword at him, glaring at him with her piercing pupils. The rain lashed down upon the swollen landscape of China, tearing through the ground like a cluster of spears.
‘I had nothing to do with it!’ He cried. ‘Please don’t plunge your meaty weapon of choice into my heart!’
‘You’re heart? I was thinking more along the lines of your skull you rancid scum!’
‘Please,’ the guy screamed ‘I didn’t mean it. Jill made me do it.’ There was a deadly silence. The rain continued on, but time seemed to suddenly screech to a halt for Umi. The sky was wrapped tightly in a quilt of misery, and the whole land seemed to look on in disbelief.
‘Jill!’ Umi clutched the guy tightly by the throat until her razor nails began to peel into his skin like a blade through butter. She squeezed him tightly until his panting suddenly stopped and the guy fell lifeless toward the floor. Umi strided, brimming to the limit with anger, toward her Viper, parked by the roadside, and headed for the city.
Jill was a miserable old cow. Poisoned by evil, the crinkly old hag was once the babysitter of young Umi. But one night something happened, something so terrible and shocking no one in the entire city speaks of it. Only Jill, slowly disintegrating into single atoms is proud of what happened that night, and the oddly shaped, wrinkle covered beastly soul of hers will do anything to inflict the price of death onto the young, the deadly Umi.
After nailing a hand bag thief to the wall of the Holy Shrine in the city and tearing him in two, Umi decided to take a trip to the friendly wise-man of the city, Chang.
‘Where can I find Jill?’ Umi asked, perplexed and angered.
‘You cannot find Jill,’ Chang replied in his croaky voice, ‘Jill will find you, when she feels the time is right for you to meet her.’
So, after blowing a substantial amount of cash on this rip-off of a witch-doctor look alike, Umi decide to house her own ‘witch hunt’ in search for the beastly Jill.
The night was silent, and the moon beamed down upon the land. The stars, pinned to the moonlight sky, gleamed like fresh diamonds, and the land slept in peace. Umi, equipped with ‘weapons of choice’, made her way to ‘Moo Mansion’ a run-down scumyard of a place where the gangsters hang out and the thieves hide their loot. Umi knew Jill was waiting for her, she could feel it in her soul.
After reaching the ‘stereotypical haunted mansion’, Umi made her way bravely across the ivy-streaked cobbled path, leading toward a rusty porch and the enormous front door. Using the latest in Chinese Technology, Umi pick locked the door, Sam Fisher style, and proceeded into the scum’s paradise.
Inside nothing but darkness shadowed over the rooms of the house. Huge chandeliers, thick with cobwebs, hung lifeless from the roof, whilst the rotting floorboards creaked loudly. An eerie silence wafted gently through the tense atmosphere, and Umi felt the slightly nervous whilst walking through the house.
Then, BAM! An ear-piercing noise sliced through the silence that was present, and Umi fell to the floor, stunned and startled. She looked up, and almost threw up at what she saw. There, head to foot in Matalan value clothes and laughing an evil, witches laugh, was Jill.
‘Welcome my pretty!’ She croaked in a haunting voice. Umi drew her sword, and pointed it at the stinking life form that stood before her. Jill began to croak wildly, and suddenly Umi was startled by a bellowing bark that suddenly broke the atmosphere. Jill pointed her arthritic finger at Umi, and to her horror, a gnashing, drooling beast leapt onto the floor.
There before Umi stood Jill’s Jack Russell, Eyebrow. Eyebrow was a cold-hearted beast if there ever was one. His white fangs gleamed like gems, as thick layers of saliva slowly slid their way down his canines. His bony, meatless body was gruesome to set eyes upon, and his nails were more deadly than sharpened knives. Umi pointed her sword at the hideous form before her. Then, the dog leapt.
A bloody battle unfolded, with Umi tearing pieces from the beast until the floor was a coat of crimson. After withstanding a few life threatening blows, Eyebrow leapt at Umi and plunged his fangs deep into her leg. She let out a cry of unbearable pain, and whilst Eyebrow praised his actions, Umi swung her sword and pierced straight through Eyebrow. He fell to the floor, yapping like a French Poodle and blood squirting from him. Umi stood up, exhausted and lifeless, and looked on as Eyebrow gave his last yelps before going to the ‘better place’. Umi then looked up, but Jill had gone.
‘I’ll get you one day!’ Umi cried out into the engulfing darkness before her.
After taking a few weeks to recover from her experience, Umi took some time to train with the Samurai Warriors to house her skills, and it won’t be long before our girl will adventure forth to try and plunge her sword deep into Jill’s bony body. The job was only half done, and Umi still seeked revenge for her fathers death.
Thanks for reading. If you would like vol. 2, then please say so.
...
I'm not tight, so I'll respond. I'm tired and couldn't read it all, valiant attempt, though.
I think.
I think.
KiLL JiLL vol. 1
Written by DJ
‘You murdered my father!’ Umi screamed at the trembling Chinese misfit squealing like a pig with a pitchfork lodged into its rear. Umi pointed her crimson stained sword at him, glaring at him with her piercing pupils. The rain lashed down upon the swollen landscape of China, tearing through the ground like a cluster of spears.
‘I had nothing to do with it!’ He cried. ‘Please don’t plunge your meaty weapon of choice into my heart!’
‘You’re heart? I was thinking more along the lines of your skull you rancid scum!’
‘Please,’ the guy screamed ‘I didn’t mean it. Jill made me do it.’ There was a deadly silence. The rain continued on, but time seemed to suddenly screech to a halt for Umi. The sky was wrapped tightly in a quilt of misery, and the whole land seemed to look on in disbelief.
‘Jill!’ Umi clutched the guy tightly by the throat until her razor nails began to peel into his skin like a blade through butter. She squeezed him tightly until his panting suddenly stopped and the guy fell lifeless toward the floor. Umi strided, brimming to the limit with anger, toward her Viper, parked by the roadside, and headed for the city.
Jill was a miserable old cow. Poisoned by evil, the crinkly old hag was once the babysitter of young Umi. But one night something happened, something so terrible and shocking no one in the entire city speaks of it. Only Jill, slowly disintegrating into single atoms is proud of what happened that night, and the oddly shaped, wrinkle covered beastly soul of hers will do anything to inflict the price of death onto the young, the deadly Umi.
After nailing a hand bag thief to the wall of the Holy Shrine in the city and tearing him in two, Umi decided to take a trip to the friendly wise-man of the city, Chang.
‘Where can I find Jill?’ Umi asked, perplexed and angered.
‘You cannot find Jill,’ Chang replied in his croaky voice, ‘Jill will find you, when she feels the time is right for you to meet her.’
So, after blowing a substantial amount of cash on this rip-off of a witch-doctor look alike, Umi decide to house her own ‘witch hunt’ in search for the beastly Jill.
The night was silent, and the moon beamed down upon the land. The stars, pinned to the moonlight sky, gleamed like fresh diamonds, and the land slept in peace. Umi, equipped with ‘weapons of choice’, made her way to ‘Moo Mansion’ a run-down scumyard of a place where the gangsters hang out and the thieves hide their loot. Umi knew Jill was waiting for her, she could feel it in her soul.
After reaching the ‘stereotypical haunted mansion’, Umi made her way bravely across the ivy-streaked cobbled path, leading toward a rusty porch and the enormous front door. Using the latest in Chinese Technology, Umi pick locked the door, Sam Fisher style, and proceeded into the scum’s paradise.
Inside nothing but darkness shadowed over the rooms of the house. Huge chandeliers, thick with cobwebs, hung lifeless from the roof, whilst the rotting floorboards creaked loudly. An eerie silence wafted gently through the tense atmosphere, and Umi felt the slightly nervous whilst walking through the house.
Then, BAM! An ear-piercing noise sliced through the silence that was present, and Umi fell to the floor, stunned and startled. She looked up, and almost threw up at what she saw. There, head to foot in Matalan value clothes and laughing an evil, witches laugh, was Jill.
‘Welcome my pretty!’ She croaked in a haunting voice. Umi drew her sword, and pointed it at the stinking life form that stood before her. Jill began to croak wildly, and suddenly Umi was startled by a bellowing bark that suddenly broke the atmosphere. Jill pointed her arthritic finger at Umi, and to her horror, a gnashing, drooling beast leapt onto the floor.
There before Umi stood Jill’s Jack Russell, Eyebrow. Eyebrow was a cold-hearted beast if there ever was one. His white fangs gleamed like gems, as thick layers of saliva slowly slid their way down his canines. His bony, meatless body was gruesome to set eyes upon, and his nails were more deadly than sharpened knives. Umi pointed her sword at the hideous form before her. Then, the dog leapt.
A bloody battle unfolded, with Umi tearing pieces from the beast until the floor was a coat of crimson. After withstanding a few life threatening blows, Eyebrow leapt at Umi and plunged his fangs deep into her leg. She let out a cry of unbearable pain, and whilst Eyebrow praised his actions, Umi swung her sword and pierced straight through Eyebrow. He fell to the floor, yapping like a French Poodle and blood squirting from him. Umi stood up, exhausted and lifeless, and looked on as Eyebrow gave his last yelps before going to the ‘better place’. Umi then looked up, but Jill had gone.
‘I’ll get you one day!’ Umi cried out into the engulfing darkness before her.
After taking a few weeks to recover from her experience, Umi took some time to train with the Samurai Warriors to house her skills, and it won’t be long before our girl will adventure forth to try and plunge her sword deep into Jill’s bony body. The job was only half done, and Umi still seeked revenge for her fathers death.
Thanks for reading. If you would like vol. 2, then please say so.
Written by DJ
‘You murdered my father!’ Umi screamed at the trembling Chinese misfit squealing like a pig with a pitchfork lodged into its rear. Umi pointed her crimson stained sword at him, glaring at him with her piercing pupils. The rain lashed down upon the swollen landscape of China, tearing through the ground like a cluster of spears.
‘I had nothing to do with it!’ He cried. ‘Please don’t plunge your meaty weapon of choice into my heart!’
‘You’re heart? I was thinking more along the lines of your skull you rancid scum!’
‘Please,’ the guy screamed ‘I didn’t mean it. Jill made me do it.’ There was a deadly silence. The rain continued on, but time seemed to suddenly screech to a halt for Umi. The sky was wrapped tightly in a quilt of misery, and the whole land seemed to look on in disbelief.
‘Jill!’ Umi clutched the guy tightly by the throat until her razor nails began to peel into his skin like a blade through butter. She squeezed him tightly until his panting suddenly stopped and the guy fell lifeless toward the floor. Umi strided, brimming to the limit with anger, toward her Viper, parked by the roadside, and headed for the city.
Jill was a miserable old cow. Poisoned by evil, the crinkly old hag was once the babysitter of young Umi. But one night something happened, something so terrible and shocking no one in the entire city speaks of it. Only Jill, slowly disintegrating into single atoms is proud of what happened that night, and the oddly shaped, wrinkle covered beastly soul of hers will do anything to inflict the price of death onto the young, the deadly Umi.
After nailing a hand bag thief to the wall of the Holy Shrine in the city and tearing him in two, Umi decided to take a trip to the friendly wise-man of the city, Chang.
‘Where can I find Jill?’ Umi asked, perplexed and angered.
‘You cannot find Jill,’ Chang replied in his croaky voice, ‘Jill will find you, when she feels the time is right for you to meet her.’
So, after blowing a substantial amount of cash on this rip-off of a witch-doctor look alike, Umi decide to house her own ‘witch hunt’ in search for the beastly Jill.
The night was silent, and the moon beamed down upon the land. The stars, pinned to the moonlight sky, gleamed like fresh diamonds, and the land slept in peace. Umi, equipped with ‘weapons of choice’, made her way to ‘Moo Mansion’ a run-down scumyard of a place where the gangsters hang out and the thieves hide their loot. Umi knew Jill was waiting for her, she could feel it in her soul.
After reaching the ‘stereotypical haunted mansion’, Umi made her way bravely across the ivy-streaked cobbled path, leading toward a rusty porch and the enormous front door. Using the latest in Chinese Technology, Umi pick locked the door, Sam Fisher style, and proceeded into the scum’s paradise.
Inside nothing but darkness shadowed over the rooms of the house. Huge chandeliers, thick with cobwebs, hung lifeless from the roof, whilst the rotting floorboards creaked loudly. An eerie silence wafted gently through the tense atmosphere, and Umi felt the slightly nervous whilst walking through the house.
Then, BAM! An ear-piercing noise sliced through the silence that was present, and Umi fell to the floor, stunned and startled. She looked up, and almost threw up at what she saw. There, head to foot in Matalan value clothes and laughing an evil, witches laugh, was Jill.
‘Welcome my pretty!’ She croaked in a haunting voice. Umi drew her sword, and pointed it at the stinking life form that stood before her. Jill began to croak wildly, and suddenly Umi was startled by a bellowing bark that suddenly broke the atmosphere. Jill pointed her arthritic finger at Umi, and to her horror, a gnashing, drooling beast leapt onto the floor.
There before Umi stood Jill’s Jack Russell, Eyebrow. Eyebrow was a cold-hearted beast if there ever was one. His white fangs gleamed like gems, as thick layers of saliva slowly slid their way down his canines. His bony, meatless body was gruesome to set eyes upon, and his nails were more deadly than sharpened knives. Umi pointed her sword at the hideous form before her. Then, the dog leapt.
A bloody battle unfolded, with Umi tearing pieces from the beast until the floor was a coat of crimson. After withstanding a few life threatening blows, Eyebrow leapt at Umi and plunged his fangs deep into her leg. She let out a cry of unbearable pain, and whilst Eyebrow praised his actions, Umi swung her sword and pierced straight through Eyebrow. He fell to the floor, yapping like a French Poodle and blood squirting from him. Umi stood up, exhausted and lifeless, and looked on as Eyebrow gave his last yelps before going to the ‘better place’. Umi then looked up, but Jill had gone.
‘I’ll get you one day!’ Umi cried out into the engulfing darkness before her.
After taking a few weeks to recover from her experience, Umi took some time to train with the Samurai Warriors to house her skills, and it won’t be long before our girl will adventure forth to try and plunge her sword deep into Jill’s bony body. The job was only half done, and Umi still seeked revenge for her fathers death.
Thanks for reading. If you would like vol. 2, then please say so.