Viewing Thread:
"Reunited: Six Feet Under"

After probably the worse feedback I’ve ever received for the Bargain poems I’ve decided to write something more depressing. Thinking about it – those poems were pretty dire, but there’s no need to talk about it anymore. This Piece is obviously fiction – as are the names I have used. An old sex mad couple – separated by death – please enjoy the following short poem:

Reunited: Six Feet Under

Dear Mary,

I remember the last month we spent together,
We walked for hours in the park,
We had a picnic near the purple Heather,
Until the skies turned grey and dark.

For eighty year olds we were fit and well,
No Problems up here, and certainly none down there,
Our love lives were lit up and swell,
No weatherman could have forecast that ‘upcoming scare’.

Though, they said, the Cancer didn’t kill you,
It was the news that triggered a heart attack,
Your painful last words ‘I love you’
Which I’ve engraved on your gravestone Plaque.

There’s not long left before we will be together – I’ll bid this world ado,
We will be Reunited Six feet below,
I’ll be laid on top of you,
Just like it used to be, rocking too and fro.

And if there is life after decease,
We will be at it night and day,
As one, making love – we’ll never cease,
Together we made it look like child’s play.

Rest Assured I’ll miss you perpetually,
But that won’t be for long,
See they’ve diagnosed me with the big C,
They say a few months if I’m strong.

Love Peter.

[I] I'm looking forward / dreading your feedback. If this wasnt good then, well, i'll stick to reviews.

A Discodexy Creation™

I'm not entirely sure what you mean - but the peter fellow is standing at a grave, speaking to Mary. Obviously you don't stand at a grave and speak in rhymes - but maybe that's what he would say - if he wasn't too upset to talk.

Cheers for the feedback - its not in anyway related with the TV show though - just shares the same name :)

Nice poem - not too long and flows rather well. It didn't bring on a strong emotional response as far as I was concerned, but I did feel something for the...what do you call the fictional character speaking the poem in a poem?

As for the TV show - never seen it, but the theme tune is catchy.

Six feet under is tonight 10:00pm on E4.

Depressing show, but i still love it!

Nice. Shame that I thought this was the DVD forum and thought E4 were showing a Six Feet Under special. Still, nice work. I'm not really into poems per se, but a good effort, well done.

After probably the worse feedback I’ve ever received for the Bargain poems I’ve decided to write something more depressing. Thinking about it – those poems were pretty dire, but there’s no need to talk about it anymore. This Piece is obviously fiction – as are the names I have used. An old sex mad couple – separated by death – please enjoy the following short poem:

Reunited: Six Feet Under

Dear Mary,

I remember the last month we spent together,
We walked for hours in the park,
We had a picnic near the purple Heather,
Until the skies turned grey and dark.

For eighty year olds we were fit and well,
No Problems up here, and certainly none down there,
Our love lives were lit up and swell,
No weatherman could have forecast that ‘upcoming scare’.

Though, they said, the Cancer didn’t kill you,
It was the news that triggered a heart attack,
Your painful last words ‘I love you’
Which I’ve engraved on your gravestone Plaque.

There’s not long left before we will be together – I’ll bid this world ado,
We will be Reunited Six feet below,
I’ll be laid on top of you,
Just like it used to be, rocking too and fro.

And if there is life after decease,
We will be at it night and day,
As one, making love – we’ll never cease,
Together we made it look like child’s play.

Rest Assured I’ll miss you perpetually,
But that won’t be for long,
See they’ve diagnosed me with the big C,
They say a few months if I’m strong.

Love Peter.

[I] I'm looking forward / dreading your feedback. If this wasnt good then, well, i'll stick to reviews.

A Discodexy Creation™