Viewing Thread:
"Something in the Air-Con (story)"

Every time I run the events of this morning through my head I can see that it simply wasn’t possible, but it did happen, I’m sure of it. I’ve checked every inch of the car for evidence but have found nothing to confirm that it was really there.

As usual I sat watching the traffic fly out of the city, as I sat motionless in the fast lane, heading in the other direction. Wherever I go I find them, these pointless road-works. It’s as if some sinister force has captured my diary and is putting them in place to frustrate me. They may be called road-works, but I feel this definition is not accurate, as it would suggest that there was some kind of work going on in the sections of road marked off by cones, but I couldn’t see any evidence of this.

It was just before nine o’clock and the sun was already working its hardest to turn my car into a sauna. I rubbed my tired eyes and shook some of the cobwebs from my head, regretting spending so long in the hotel bar last night. I began to open the window for some fresh air, but the sight of a dirty great lorry billowing out thick exhaust fumes convinced me that it would be anything but fresh. Instead I switched on the air-con and that’s when it all started.

The car in front of me moved forward a few yards, and in my excitement I didn’t notice the subtle change in the sound of the air-con. It wasn’t until we stopped and a strong earthy smell invaded my nostrils that I realised something was different. I sniffed the air closer to the vents, and was sure that was where it was coming from. It was then I noticed that the hum of the air-con sounded different, as if there was a blockage that the air was being forced around.

I was going to try to have a closer look, when a blast of a car horn stopped me in my tracks. The car in front of me had moved on a little further, and the vehicle behind wasn’t best pleased that I wasn’t following suit. As I pulled off I glanced in the mirror at the four-by-four behind me, the driver clearly agitated. I put up my hand as a feeble apology, but the driver dismissed it by waving his arms around like some demented ape. His actions made me forget about the smell for a minute, until I was forced to come to a sudden stop and the sound changed again, the air passing through much more freely.

I looked down and saw it for the first time, this dark and hairy thing, sticking out and twitching at me. I couldn’t take my eyes from it as it waved in the air, seemingly creeping further out. What was it? I didn’t have a clue. At first I thought it was alive, that it was something out to get me. Then the logical part of my brain kicked in, it was only moving because the air-con was pushing it. I switched it off, and sure enough it appeared to stop. I watched it for a while to be sure, but before I was completely satisfied the ape behind me again sounded his disapproval at my failure to keep up with the traffic.

Of course, the moving of the traffic didn’t last, and I had a chance to look back down. It had come out further, I was sure of it. It was still twitching too. I told myself that it was the vibration of the engine making it look like it was twitching. I tried to think of what it could be, and it came to me - it was a flower from one of the willows I’d parked under last night. Of course, they had been green, but if it had been blown through the engine, it would probably have blackened. I thought back to the shape of the flowers, and reassured myself that they could be the same shape.

I tried to keep one eye on the road, not wanting to anger the ape whose face appeared to be ripening like a tomato in the sun, growing redder by the minute. I was sure of what it was sticking out, twitching at me, it was a willow flower, and I didn’t need to look. Once I was off the road I thought I’d be able to pull it out and be rid of it, thought I’d be able to laugh at my over-active imagination. That was until I caught a glimpse of a second hairy thing poking out next to it.

I tried to put it out of my mind as the traffic again began to move, but I couldn’t resist glancing down at those two writhing things, growing longer as they poked further through the vent. I edged over to the right of the seat, as far away as it was possible to be. My clammy hands trembled on the wheel and I wanted nothing more than to be away from those things. They held my focus for too long as I tried to tell myself that two flowers getting caught was feasible, and at increased speed they would move around. I was forced to slam on the brakes to stop in a hurry when I realised the car in front was a little too close. The ape wasn’t amused, and showed his fury with a flurry of fingers and mouthed abuse. I didn’t look at him for long though - I could see a third and fourth thing poking through. No longer was I able to hold onto the belief that it was something innocuous - especially when I took a closer look and saw its body pushing against the other side of the vent.

That was it for me, it was too much. I didn’t care that I was sitting on the motorway, or that the car in front had pulled off again, I couldn’t bear to be in the car with that spider-thing any longer. As soon as I pushed the door open, the ape reacted by pushing down on his horn with his usual vigour. I decided I’d rather face the wrath of the ape than be stuck with the huge spider in the car. Ape-man had other ideas. He rammed into the back of the car, throwing me back in my seat. I had no choice but to drive on, spider or no spider. At least the traffic had picked up pace, and I knew that it wouldn’t be much longer until I was through the road-works. Reassured by this I looked down at the spider legs. They were still sticking out at me, but the way the two vents crossed, it wasn’t as if it would be able to get out. I decided to try to put it out of my mind and relax a little. I mopped the sweat from my forehead and glanced at the ape in the mirror and stuck my tongue out at him to bring the first smile of the day to my face.

My heart rate had pretty much returned to it’s usual pace when I caught it out of the corner of my eye, half of its body through. Its four front legs were already out, waving in the air. It was impossible, there was no way the gap was big enough for it to have squeezed out of. I couldn’t help myself when I swerved slightly from my course towards the central reservation. I had to take my eyes from the spider to get back on track. As soon as I was straight I looked back, but it was gone. I moved close to the vent to see if it had crawled back in, but there was no sign of it inside. I slowed down, greeted with the usual horn-blast of disapproval, but didn’t care. My eyes darted into the foot-wells, checking every corner for the intruder. My heart was racing once more, my breathing uneasy. I glanced in the mirror, and for a second thought it was on the back seat. I turned to check, but it was gone. I felt something brush against the bottom of my trousers, and pulled my foot off the accelerator to check it, but still there was no sign.

I looked up to the road and could see salvation, the end of the road-works. I darted into a gap in the middle lane, ready to move over as soon as I was passed the last cone. I was almost there when I saw it again, right in front of me, crawling along the dash board. It stood on its back four legs and lifted the front of its body up towards me. I hit the brakes as an automatic reaction and it rolled back towards the windscreen. Whilst it was off guard I swung my arm at it, knocking it onto the passenger seat.

I reached the end of the road-works seconds later and pulled over. I was out of the car in a flash, but as I stepped out I felt something crawling up my trouser leg. I clasped my hands around the knee to stop it climbing any higher, and as I did so I heard a shout.

“Oi, you, t****r!”
I looked up the road, hands still around my knee, and there he was, the ape.
“Who taught you to drive? You’re a bloody danger!” he said as he approached. “Hey, you, look at me!”
My eyes remained focused on the trouser leg, watching the bulge move around.

I didn’t even know he was that close when I felt the impact on the side of my face, his heavy fist crashing down on me. I fell towards the ground, and threw my hands to the floor to break my fall. I felt the spider crawl down my leg, and out of the bottom of my trousers. It moved with speed, scampering through the apes legs.

“Next time, drive properly, or keep out of my way” he said as he turned away, walking back to his vehicle. I didn’t look at him though, I was fixed on the spider, which beat the ape to his four-by-four, and clambered in the open door.

Eventually I picked myself up and got back into the car. I looked closely at the vent, and there was no sign of it ever having been disturbed. The tiny gaps were not big enough for a spider of that size of get through, I didn’t understand it. Eventually I pulled back onto the road, and was not surprised to find the traffic still moving slowly, despite being through the road-works.

The sound of sirens pierced the air, and soon enough I could see why; an accident had occurred down the road. As I got closer I saw a familiar four-by-four crashed into the central reservation, and I thought that it couldn’t have happened to a nicer person.

Bloody good read. I should pay more attention to these short story thingies. You should make a book of short stories. This one was very good and exactly the sort of thing I may choose to read in my spare time. Well done.

Heh, I liked it.

Perhaps the only thing I'd have liked to see at the end was an explanation to how it got into the vent, but even without that it was a great little read. Unsurprisingly, I cannot fault your standard of writing in any way, shape, of form.

Well done, I was expecting this to win a GAD, but with talent like that there's always a next time.

I really loved that :D

The over active imagination which is vigourously denied by logic only for it to turn out that your imagination was correct and your worse nightmare is trying to land in your lap. Wonderfully written. I could see it all in my minds' eye.

I've nothing against spiders but it did induce in me a sudden urge to scratch at invisible pests.

Too many miles this month. It was a what if moment when sat in the car with Lisa going God knows where with the air-con on.

Funny story whilst writing this the other night. I was home alone (Like Macauley, only without the burglars and paint cans) it was hot, and I had the fan on. My computer chair is an old piece of crap, it's falling to bits. I was writing about this spider - I hate spiders. Then I feel sometihng touch the back of my leg. I shot up, banging my knee on the desk, and avoiding messing myself by the smallest of margins.

What was it? A piece of thread from the seat blown into my leg by the fan.

:D

Been stuck in traffic a lot recently?

Every time I run the events of this morning through my head I can see that it simply wasn’t possible, but it did happen, I’m sure of it. I’ve checked every inch of the car for evidence but have found nothing to confirm that it was really there.

As usual I sat watching the traffic fly out of the city, as I sat motionless in the fast lane, heading in the other direction. Wherever I go I find them, these pointless road-works. It’s as if some sinister force has captured my diary and is putting them in place to frustrate me. They may be called road-works, but I feel this definition is not accurate, as it would suggest that there was some kind of work going on in the sections of road marked off by cones, but I couldn’t see any evidence of this.

It was just before nine o’clock and the sun was already working its hardest to turn my car into a sauna. I rubbed my tired eyes and shook some of the cobwebs from my head, regretting spending so long in the hotel bar last night. I began to open the window for some fresh air, but the sight of a dirty great lorry billowing out thick exhaust fumes convinced me that it would be anything but fresh. Instead I switched on the air-con and that’s when it all started.

The car in front of me moved forward a few yards, and in my excitement I didn’t notice the subtle change in the sound of the air-con. It wasn’t until we stopped and a strong earthy smell invaded my nostrils that I realised something was different. I sniffed the air closer to the vents, and was sure that was where it was coming from. It was then I noticed that the hum of the air-con sounded different, as if there was a blockage that the air was being forced around.

I was going to try to have a closer look, when a blast of a car horn stopped me in my tracks. The car in front of me had moved on a little further, and the vehicle behind wasn’t best pleased that I wasn’t following suit. As I pulled off I glanced in the mirror at the four-by-four behind me, the driver clearly agitated. I put up my hand as a feeble apology, but the driver dismissed it by waving his arms around like some demented ape. His actions made me forget about the smell for a minute, until I was forced to come to a sudden stop and the sound changed again, the air passing through much more freely.

I looked down and saw it for the first time, this dark and hairy thing, sticking out and twitching at me. I couldn’t take my eyes from it as it waved in the air, seemingly creeping further out. What was it? I didn’t have a clue. At first I thought it was alive, that it was something out to get me. Then the logical part of my brain kicked in, it was only moving because the air-con was pushing it. I switched it off, and sure enough it appeared to stop. I watched it for a while to be sure, but before I was completely satisfied the ape behind me again sounded his disapproval at my failure to keep up with the traffic.

Of course, the moving of the traffic didn’t last, and I had a chance to look back down. It had come out further, I was sure of it. It was still twitching too. I told myself that it was the vibration of the engine making it look like it was twitching. I tried to think of what it could be, and it came to me - it was a flower from one of the willows I’d parked under last night. Of course, they had been green, but if it had been blown through the engine, it would probably have blackened. I thought back to the shape of the flowers, and reassured myself that they could be the same shape.

I tried to keep one eye on the road, not wanting to anger the ape whose face appeared to be ripening like a tomato in the sun, growing redder by the minute. I was sure of what it was sticking out, twitching at me, it was a willow flower, and I didn’t need to look. Once I was off the road I thought I’d be able to pull it out and be rid of it, thought I’d be able to laugh at my over-active imagination. That was until I caught a glimpse of a second hairy thing poking out next to it.

I tried to put it out of my mind as the traffic again began to move, but I couldn’t resist glancing down at those two writhing things, growing longer as they poked further through the vent. I edged over to the right of the seat, as far away as it was possible to be. My clammy hands trembled on the wheel and I wanted nothing more than to be away from those things. They held my focus for too long as I tried to tell myself that two flowers getting caught was feasible, and at increased speed they would move around. I was forced to slam on the brakes to stop in a hurry when I realised the car in front was a little too close. The ape wasn’t amused, and showed his fury with a flurry of fingers and mouthed abuse. I didn’t look at him for long though - I could see a third and fourth thing poking through. No longer was I able to hold onto the belief that it was something innocuous - especially when I took a closer look and saw its body pushing against the other side of the vent.

That was it for me, it was too much. I didn’t care that I was sitting on the motorway, or that the car in front had pulled off again, I couldn’t bear to be in the car with that spider-thing any longer. As soon as I pushed the door open, the ape reacted by pushing down on his horn with his usual vigour. I decided I’d rather face the wrath of the ape than be stuck with the huge spider in the car. Ape-man had other ideas. He rammed into the back of the car, throwing me back in my seat. I had no choice but to drive on, spider or no spider. At least the traffic had picked up pace, and I knew that it wouldn’t be much longer until I was through the road-works. Reassured by this I looked down at the spider legs. They were still sticking out at me, but the way the two vents crossed, it wasn’t as if it would be able to get out. I decided to try to put it out of my mind and relax a little. I mopped the sweat from my forehead and glanced at the ape in the mirror and stuck my tongue out at him to bring the first smile of the day to my face.

My heart rate had pretty much returned to it’s usual pace when I caught it out of the corner of my eye, half of its body through. Its four front legs were already out, waving in the air. It was impossible, there was no way the gap was big enough for it to have squeezed out of. I couldn’t help myself when I swerved slightly from my course towards the central reservation. I had to take my eyes from the spider to get back on track. As soon as I was straight I looked back, but it was gone. I moved close to the vent to see if it had crawled back in, but there was no sign of it inside. I slowed down, greeted with the usual horn-blast of disapproval, but didn’t care. My eyes darted into the foot-wells, checking every corner for the intruder. My heart was racing once more, my breathing uneasy. I glanced in the mirror, and for a second thought it was on the back seat. I turned to check, but it was gone. I felt something brush against the bottom of my trousers, and pulled my foot off the accelerator to check it, but still there was no sign.

I looked up to the road and could see salvation, the end of the road-works. I darted into a gap in the middle lane, ready to move over as soon as I was passed the last cone. I was almost there when I saw it again, right in front of me, crawling along the dash board. It stood on its back four legs and lifted the front of its body up towards me. I hit the brakes as an automatic reaction and it rolled back towards the windscreen. Whilst it was off guard I swung my arm at it, knocking it onto the passenger seat.

I reached the end of the road-works seconds later and pulled over. I was out of the car in a flash, but as I stepped out I felt something crawling up my trouser leg. I clasped my hands around the knee to stop it climbing any higher, and as I did so I heard a shout.

“Oi, you, t****r!”
I looked up the road, hands still around my knee, and there he was, the ape.
“Who taught you to drive? You’re a bloody danger!” he said as he approached. “Hey, you, look at me!”
My eyes remained focused on the trouser leg, watching the bulge move around.

I didn’t even know he was that close when I felt the impact on the side of my face, his heavy fist crashing down on me. I fell towards the ground, and threw my hands to the floor to break my fall. I felt the spider crawl down my leg, and out of the bottom of my trousers. It moved with speed, scampering through the apes legs.

“Next time, drive properly, or keep out of my way” he said as he turned away, walking back to his vehicle. I didn’t look at him though, I was fixed on the spider, which beat the ape to his four-by-four, and clambered in the open door.

Eventually I picked myself up and got back into the car. I looked closely at the vent, and there was no sign of it ever having been disturbed. The tiny gaps were not big enough for a spider of that size of get through, I didn’t understand it. Eventually I pulled back onto the road, and was not surprised to find the traffic still moving slowly, despite being through the road-works.

The sound of sirens pierced the air, and soon enough I could see why; an accident had occurred down the road. As I got closer I saw a familiar four-by-four crashed into the central reservation, and I thought that it couldn’t have happened to a nicer person.