The "Freeola Customer Forum" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.
Really needed to exercise my imagination again, so I'm setting up some sort of serial story for me to add to as I please.. this is more to stop me from going any more insane than anything, but it'd be great if people enjoyed it too so hey.
I'll, er, add to it randomly probably. Hope I don't dig myself into a hole.
--------------
An evil ship cut it's way through a dark ocean, led on by an unforgiven crew, already judged in their actions, all biding their time before being sent to the deepest chambers of hell.
And inside this ship, apart from the crew and a plentiful supply of rum and sugar-coated breakfast cereal, there kept, and at the moment silently, a captured hoard of koalas whose fur would make a high price.
Some koalas still sat awake, terrified of their new surroundings... watching the small barrels as they rolled from one side to another of the wooden hold. Red rags littered the walls, rope hammocks for holding goods, and the entire room filled with wooden cages, packed with the small koalas.
One koala however, apart from being seriously annoyed at being stuck in such cages, was beginning to feel the effects of not being able to have a cigarette in a few days.
He felt tense, his skin itched, and he needed to punch something. His cellmate, male unfortunately, had finished shaking violently for the night, and had gone to sleep.
For an intelligent koala, no such torture existed that went beyond being trapped with the braindead creatures that surrounded Terrence. No more frustration, surely, than the blank gawping stare from the beady eyed morons that continued to do nothing but fear any sort of change to their throat-chokingly dull lifestyle.
"I hate you all." Terrence mumbled aloud. A koala on the other side of the room moved in his cage to glare at Terrence, almost as if he understood what he said.
Terrence scraped his claws along the bottom of the cage. He had only woke up what seemed like a few hours ago. Surely someone would come in soon, someone of this damn crew.
He had wondered about this moment for a while, in preparation. That if at any time, he would get captured by fur traders and smugglers, then all he had to do was make it known he was beyond the intellect of the average koala. Smarter than the average bear, if it were. Except koalas weren't bears.
Either way, he'd stand more chance as the ship mascot, or being sold to a circus, than being skinned alive.
Terrence looked down to the sleeping koalas below him. They were all probably captured in their sleep too. He almost felt a twinge of sorrow for them.
Terrence gave up on waiting. He curled up on his side, clenched his teeth in frustration, and tried to fall back asleep again.
--------------------
The ship was in calmer waters now, and the sun rose over the horizon, scattering a million sparkles over the waves.
Two of the crew members stood at the side of the boat, bored of the ocean and dreaming of what they'd spend their money on once they return to land. Out of the corner of one of their collective eyes, a sailor saw a strange red and white blur.
"What was that?"
"...What?" Asked the other sailor, turning to try and see where he was looking.
Another red and white blur dashed between the sails.
"I saw that... there's something up there... Arrhhgg.."
Before he could finish his sentence, something long, sharp and needle-like stabbed into the back of his neck in several places, puncturing him, and causing him to collapse in pain.
In the next few moments, both men had been thrown over the side of the ship, watching as an upside down grin stared straight back at them.
---------
The crowd of koalas errupted into mass screaming as a sailor walked in through the door.
"Shut UP you DAMN things." The man shouted, hitting the cages with a wooden cane.
Terrence pushed himself up against the bars of the cage, and started shouting out.
"HEEEEEEYYYY! DOWN HEERREE!!"
He could hardly even hear himself over the screaming koalas, all of which had woken up by now and had joined in with the pointless and high pitched choir.
"OIIIIIIIIIII!"
The man continued to pull out a small crate, open it, and retrieve several boxes of cereal.
Terrence started swearing, trying to project his voice above the high pitched screaming, and the sailor turned and walked out of the door.
The screaming began to quiet down, to silence once more. Terrence fell foward, and slammed his face into the bars. He snorted out sharply.
"ARGHHH!"
A scream came from beyond the door, surprising the koalas so much, that they didn't even scream in surprise. Terrence jumped, and stared at the entrance, wide-eyed.
The man tumbled backwards, and fell through the doorway onto his back. Terrence looked down to the man, who's face was now covered in bloody slits.
The koalas began howling again, screaming terribly. Terrence snapped, started yelling too, and punched his cellmate in the face as hard as he could, knocking him out against the back of the cage.
And as quickly as the screaming had began, it quietened down. Stepping over the body on the floor was a short and slim white cat, dressed almost entirely in red clothes...
A long dull red worn coat with a bronze trim and pattern on her back, red trousers, a black waistcoat and a red wide brimmed hat, with a black fluffy feather, that drooped down... her, back.
The female cat sighed to herself and looked upon the koalas. Terrence watched, almost in shock.
She turned to walk out again, but stopped herself. She swayed back and forth, rocking on long black boots, before turning back again to the cages, and beginning to unlock them. The koalas, for some reason, just watched in silence.
"Er, lady?" Terrence said.
The cat span around on her boots, causing her coat to fly out, looking down to where the noise came from. She paused, looked around, then asked, with a sharp tongue..
"Hello?"
"Down here." Terrence replied. The cat noticed him, and lowered her knees to look at him.
"Hi." She said, and remained squatting.
Terrence stared back at her. "Look, lady, I'm extremely frustrated at the moment, it'd be great if you could let me out."
"And why should I be doing that?" She said and smiled, staring into his eyes still with no indication of ever looking away.
Terrence blinked. "You're letting us out, aren't you? Why the hell do I need to give you a reason? I'm a bloody prisoner, let me out!"
"Yes, but all these other koalas are normal, run of the mill animals." She replied, still smiling. "They can be free without reason. You my friend, may have something I could use."
"I'm a talking koala, I'm not the Prince of Wales, I don't have anything, let me out."
"I'm not talking about money, I'm talking about your little head." She grinned as she spoke, and looked around. Terrence narrowed his glare at her... "Small one, can you sail?"
"No."
"Then you will learn. From now on, you are part of my crew." She extended a claw, and began to concentrate on picking the lock. "You will help me sail as your debt for me saving you from this terrible fate." The cat spoke with remarkable tongue and a soft voice, every word piercing to the ear. The lock clicked open, and she removed it, moving onto the next cage to unlock.
Terrence climbed down the bars, and stood to the floor. "Look, really, I'm sincerely happy you've rescued me here, whoever you are, but I don't think I'll be of much use to you, so if you'd just bring me back to land and I'll be on my way."
"No." She replied, simply. She unlocked another cage and opened it.
Terrence sighed. "I don't suppose you have a cigarette?"
"I'm afraid not."
Terrence clenched his paw into a fist, and with the cat's back turned to him, he snuck out of the doorway, and into the corridor.
---------
Breathless from running, it wasn't before long that he'd made his way to the deck. By passing the slashed bodies on the way, Terrence wanted to distance himself from the insane cat girl even further.
He looked over the edge, trying to find where her boat was tied. Lifting himself up and jumping to see over the barrier, he made his way around the ship, leaping up again and again...
"Over here, koala."
Terrence froze, as the cat called to him. He widened his eyes, then sighed, and decided to follow after her.
She stepped over the side of the boat, climbing down a rope. Terrence looked over the side, and a rather small sailing boat was tied to holes that perhaps weren't put in there as part of the design.
"Come on koala!" The cat called up. "Unless you want to help the rest of the koalas crew this ship?"
Terrence considered it for a moment. Captaining a ship with a crew of koalas would... be impossible. Even the images of pirate koalas swinging from mast to mast couldn't settle it in reality.
He pulled himself up and onto the wooden barrier, then swung himself over and started lowering himself down the rope.
------------
Before long, the ship was vanishing into the distance.
"Hold this tightly." The cat said, passing a rope to Terrence. He grasped his claws around it, and pulled it down against the wooden flooring. The rope seemed to be holding the mast and sail in place, and the cat checked the angle to a compass.
"So, what is your name?" The cat asked, sitting down to relax, as Terrence held the rope. He frowned.
"Terrence." He said, and looked up to the sail. "Do I really need to hold this?"
"No, you can tie it behind you." She replied, carving the words with her tongue.
Terrence turned, and tried to tie the rope to a metal ring that stuck out from the side. After doing so, he sighed again, and sat down to face the cat.
"What's your name?" Terrence asked.
"Captain Roca Chenin." She replied. "My parents named me after a bottle of wine."
Terrence stared at the cat, and she adjusted the feather of her headwear.
"They were drunk at the time." She added.
Terrence nodded, and looked over to the water. Not that Terrence knew anything about sailing whatsoever, but they seemed to be on a strong wind.
Roca stood up, and made her way to the back of the boat, sitting down to control the wheel. "We head for land, my friend. There are some friends of mine I need to talk to."
"What about?" Terrence asked. Roca turned her head to the koala, staring at him.
"Why ask?"
"I'm your crew now." Terrence replied. "I think, surely, I deserve to know who my Captain is, and what she's up to?"
"Ah." Roca said. "Well, then yes. Well... hm. That ship of yours, there was supposed to be more than koalas on it. In fact, there wasn't supposed to be koalas on it at all."
"You don't suppose perhaps you got the wrong ship?" Terrence asked.
"Not at all, you're free, are you not?" She replied.
Terrence frowned. He shook his head, closed his eyes, and bit his tongue. He had been saved, in the very least of the word, by an insane pirate she-cat, and was now helping her sail for the debt of rescue.
"So what are you, a pirate?" Terrence asked.
"Yes, and so now are you." She replied.
He really, really needed a cigarette.
I'll, er, add to it randomly probably. Hope I don't dig myself into a hole.
--------------
An evil ship cut it's way through a dark ocean, led on by an unforgiven crew, already judged in their actions, all biding their time before being sent to the deepest chambers of hell.
And inside this ship, apart from the crew and a plentiful supply of rum and sugar-coated breakfast cereal, there kept, and at the moment silently, a captured hoard of koalas whose fur would make a high price.
Some koalas still sat awake, terrified of their new surroundings... watching the small barrels as they rolled from one side to another of the wooden hold. Red rags littered the walls, rope hammocks for holding goods, and the entire room filled with wooden cages, packed with the small koalas.
One koala however, apart from being seriously annoyed at being stuck in such cages, was beginning to feel the effects of not being able to have a cigarette in a few days.
He felt tense, his skin itched, and he needed to punch something. His cellmate, male unfortunately, had finished shaking violently for the night, and had gone to sleep.
For an intelligent koala, no such torture existed that went beyond being trapped with the braindead creatures that surrounded Terrence. No more frustration, surely, than the blank gawping stare from the beady eyed morons that continued to do nothing but fear any sort of change to their throat-chokingly dull lifestyle.
"I hate you all." Terrence mumbled aloud. A koala on the other side of the room moved in his cage to glare at Terrence, almost as if he understood what he said.
Terrence scraped his claws along the bottom of the cage. He had only woke up what seemed like a few hours ago. Surely someone would come in soon, someone of this damn crew.
He had wondered about this moment for a while, in preparation. That if at any time, he would get captured by fur traders and smugglers, then all he had to do was make it known he was beyond the intellect of the average koala. Smarter than the average bear, if it were. Except koalas weren't bears.
Either way, he'd stand more chance as the ship mascot, or being sold to a circus, than being skinned alive.
Terrence looked down to the sleeping koalas below him. They were all probably captured in their sleep too. He almost felt a twinge of sorrow for them.
Terrence gave up on waiting. He curled up on his side, clenched his teeth in frustration, and tried to fall back asleep again.
--------------------
The ship was in calmer waters now, and the sun rose over the horizon, scattering a million sparkles over the waves.
Two of the crew members stood at the side of the boat, bored of the ocean and dreaming of what they'd spend their money on once they return to land. Out of the corner of one of their collective eyes, a sailor saw a strange red and white blur.
"What was that?"
"...What?" Asked the other sailor, turning to try and see where he was looking.
Another red and white blur dashed between the sails.
"I saw that... there's something up there... Arrhhgg.."
Before he could finish his sentence, something long, sharp and needle-like stabbed into the back of his neck in several places, puncturing him, and causing him to collapse in pain.
In the next few moments, both men had been thrown over the side of the ship, watching as an upside down grin stared straight back at them.
---------
The crowd of koalas errupted into mass screaming as a sailor walked in through the door.
"Shut UP you DAMN things." The man shouted, hitting the cages with a wooden cane.
Terrence pushed himself up against the bars of the cage, and started shouting out.
"HEEEEEEYYYY! DOWN HEERREE!!"
He could hardly even hear himself over the screaming koalas, all of which had woken up by now and had joined in with the pointless and high pitched choir.
"OIIIIIIIIIII!"
The man continued to pull out a small crate, open it, and retrieve several boxes of cereal.
Terrence started swearing, trying to project his voice above the high pitched screaming, and the sailor turned and walked out of the door.
The screaming began to quiet down, to silence once more. Terrence fell foward, and slammed his face into the bars. He snorted out sharply.
"ARGHHH!"
A scream came from beyond the door, surprising the koalas so much, that they didn't even scream in surprise. Terrence jumped, and stared at the entrance, wide-eyed.
The man tumbled backwards, and fell through the doorway onto his back. Terrence looked down to the man, who's face was now covered in bloody slits.
The koalas began howling again, screaming terribly. Terrence snapped, started yelling too, and punched his cellmate in the face as hard as he could, knocking him out against the back of the cage.
And as quickly as the screaming had began, it quietened down. Stepping over the body on the floor was a short and slim white cat, dressed almost entirely in red clothes...
A long dull red worn coat with a bronze trim and pattern on her back, red trousers, a black waistcoat and a red wide brimmed hat, with a black fluffy feather, that drooped down... her, back.
The female cat sighed to herself and looked upon the koalas. Terrence watched, almost in shock.
She turned to walk out again, but stopped herself. She swayed back and forth, rocking on long black boots, before turning back again to the cages, and beginning to unlock them. The koalas, for some reason, just watched in silence.
"Er, lady?" Terrence said.
The cat span around on her boots, causing her coat to fly out, looking down to where the noise came from. She paused, looked around, then asked, with a sharp tongue..
"Hello?"
"Down here." Terrence replied. The cat noticed him, and lowered her knees to look at him.
"Hi." She said, and remained squatting.
Terrence stared back at her. "Look, lady, I'm extremely frustrated at the moment, it'd be great if you could let me out."
"And why should I be doing that?" She said and smiled, staring into his eyes still with no indication of ever looking away.
Terrence blinked. "You're letting us out, aren't you? Why the hell do I need to give you a reason? I'm a bloody prisoner, let me out!"
"Yes, but all these other koalas are normal, run of the mill animals." She replied, still smiling. "They can be free without reason. You my friend, may have something I could use."
"I'm a talking koala, I'm not the Prince of Wales, I don't have anything, let me out."
"I'm not talking about money, I'm talking about your little head." She grinned as she spoke, and looked around. Terrence narrowed his glare at her... "Small one, can you sail?"
"No."
"Then you will learn. From now on, you are part of my crew." She extended a claw, and began to concentrate on picking the lock. "You will help me sail as your debt for me saving you from this terrible fate." The cat spoke with remarkable tongue and a soft voice, every word piercing to the ear. The lock clicked open, and she removed it, moving onto the next cage to unlock.
Terrence climbed down the bars, and stood to the floor. "Look, really, I'm sincerely happy you've rescued me here, whoever you are, but I don't think I'll be of much use to you, so if you'd just bring me back to land and I'll be on my way."
"No." She replied, simply. She unlocked another cage and opened it.
Terrence sighed. "I don't suppose you have a cigarette?"
"I'm afraid not."
Terrence clenched his paw into a fist, and with the cat's back turned to him, he snuck out of the doorway, and into the corridor.
---------
Breathless from running, it wasn't before long that he'd made his way to the deck. By passing the slashed bodies on the way, Terrence wanted to distance himself from the insane cat girl even further.
He looked over the edge, trying to find where her boat was tied. Lifting himself up and jumping to see over the barrier, he made his way around the ship, leaping up again and again...
"Over here, koala."
Terrence froze, as the cat called to him. He widened his eyes, then sighed, and decided to follow after her.
She stepped over the side of the boat, climbing down a rope. Terrence looked over the side, and a rather small sailing boat was tied to holes that perhaps weren't put in there as part of the design.
"Come on koala!" The cat called up. "Unless you want to help the rest of the koalas crew this ship?"
Terrence considered it for a moment. Captaining a ship with a crew of koalas would... be impossible. Even the images of pirate koalas swinging from mast to mast couldn't settle it in reality.
He pulled himself up and onto the wooden barrier, then swung himself over and started lowering himself down the rope.
------------
Before long, the ship was vanishing into the distance.
"Hold this tightly." The cat said, passing a rope to Terrence. He grasped his claws around it, and pulled it down against the wooden flooring. The rope seemed to be holding the mast and sail in place, and the cat checked the angle to a compass.
"So, what is your name?" The cat asked, sitting down to relax, as Terrence held the rope. He frowned.
"Terrence." He said, and looked up to the sail. "Do I really need to hold this?"
"No, you can tie it behind you." She replied, carving the words with her tongue.
Terrence turned, and tried to tie the rope to a metal ring that stuck out from the side. After doing so, he sighed again, and sat down to face the cat.
"What's your name?" Terrence asked.
"Captain Roca Chenin." She replied. "My parents named me after a bottle of wine."
Terrence stared at the cat, and she adjusted the feather of her headwear.
"They were drunk at the time." She added.
Terrence nodded, and looked over to the water. Not that Terrence knew anything about sailing whatsoever, but they seemed to be on a strong wind.
Roca stood up, and made her way to the back of the boat, sitting down to control the wheel. "We head for land, my friend. There are some friends of mine I need to talk to."
"What about?" Terrence asked. Roca turned her head to the koala, staring at him.
"Why ask?"
"I'm your crew now." Terrence replied. "I think, surely, I deserve to know who my Captain is, and what she's up to?"
"Ah." Roca said. "Well, then yes. Well... hm. That ship of yours, there was supposed to be more than koalas on it. In fact, there wasn't supposed to be koalas on it at all."
"You don't suppose perhaps you got the wrong ship?" Terrence asked.
"Not at all, you're free, are you not?" She replied.
Terrence frowned. He shook his head, closed his eyes, and bit his tongue. He had been saved, in the very least of the word, by an insane pirate she-cat, and was now helping her sail for the debt of rescue.
"So what are you, a pirate?" Terrence asked.
"Yes, and so now are you." She replied.
He really, really needed a cigarette.
:D
Magical. Exercise those brain cells some more, I'm greedy.
Magical. Exercise those brain cells some more, I'm greedy.
Mount Kilario told somewhat of a legend.
Once upon a time there was a very greedy and generally all-round nasty man called Tim. For some reason, along the line, his name changed in certain circles to Vlad, which for them must have sounded more macho and worthy of a bloody tale. All the same, he was a bit of a dork and was pretty big on the muscle side of things. During his reign of terribleness, he was given the name of Tempest Tim.
Tim the Very Naughty was at first completely unknown and just a pain in the behind to the few that knew him. However, that all changed when he heard story of a rather impressive steel-making type person who made swords. I'm sure there's a correct term for the swordsmith, but I'm sure you know what I mean anyway.
So one day Tim hunts down this swordmaking person and demands he creates him a fantastic double sword to his own ridiculous design, which made it incredibly heavy indeed. The swordsmith, a generally nice man, decided what the hey, and made the sword.
Now Tim was a great believer in the dark arts, black magic and all that. Having the metal that would be forged to make his sword blessed by those that dabbled in the dark arts, word of mouth began to spread of a sword that could cut through darkness, slay angels, etc. Quickly, a fear of the sword began to grow, before it was even finished.
Tim, taking advantage of the growing situation, started to make ridiculous claims of what he'd killed with the sword.
"Dragons, priests, postmen, painters." He would chant. "Carpenters, pirates, shoemenders, large birds of prey. Killed a plumber once."
A big man, Tim could carry the heavy double-sword around, decorated in such a fashion that was easy recognisable, with a very special crest that was created as part of the handle and on the steel itself, a logo that was grafittied on walls and shops to inspire fear in the islands he would visit. Many analysts generally agree on some sort of mid-life crisis, and the possibility of penis-envy is still being discussed today.
But even so, at the time, the fear generated by the sword began to grow. It was seen as mystical, enchanted. The more Tim talked of the sword as being magical, the more he began to believe it himself.
Now one day, on a place now called Tempest Island, after lopping off the head of a bricklayer, Tim was challenged to a duel by an old man atop Mount Kilario.
Tim laughed heartily, which then encouraged all his yes-men and assorted rabble that followed him around wherever he went to start laughing too. But eventually, because he was generally a bit of a show off, he decided to accept the duel.
"I ask this, however." The old man said. "That I be able to use your sword in the fight."
Tim was taken aback. He knew that the sword wasn't really enchanted, but somehow, he was still afraid. After coming to the conclusion that he could simply say that the sword would only work in his hands, added to the fact that the old man looked too frail to even lift the thing, he agreed.
Upon the tablelike surface of the southern side of Mount Kilario, overlooking a busy sea, a new sword was presented to Tim, and Tim's sword was handed to the old man. Tim laughed aloud, as the man attempted to lift the sword with his small arms. For a moment, Tim even pitied the old man, which of a man with the blackest of hearts, was something of a miracle.
However, Tim's pity soon became horror, as the true intentions of the old man became clear.
The old man turned away from Tim, dragging the sword with him, and tumbled, carrying the steel, over the side of the mountain and plummeted into the ocean below.
Screaming, and overtaken by his fear of the sword, Tim rushed towards the man, and plummeted soon after in his rush to save the steel. Naturally, he hit the rocks and died.
Is there a moral to the story? Probably. Something along the lines of not trying to save swords or trusting old men and the like.
But the sword was never found. Nor was Tim's body, but then, nobody looked for that.
Terrence paused for a moment to try and work out what started him thinking about the story...
*CHHAABOOMMM
Fired out of the cannon, Terrence's life flashed as he dropped towards a worryingly small net. As his face mashed into the netting, and he gained some control of his heartbeat again, the crowd inside the tent began clapping and whooping. He swore to himself, climbed down from the net, bowed somewhat, and headed back out to behind the curtain.
Terrence had been working for the circus for a few weeks now. Well, working wasn't exactly what he'd been up to.
At first, he was assigned as a caged animal with a sign exclaiming a talking koala. Which became a bit of a problem, when Terrence refused to speak.
However, negotiations later, involving a contract comprising of cigarette based payment (and lighters on weekends), and Terrence began work as a circus worker. The cannon thing was a more of a good idea at the time.
But at least he'd managed to make a few friends, which he didn't completely feel the need to kill.
"Got an apple back there?" Terrence asked.
"Only for decoration." Steve replied. One of the burger trailers was run completely by two rather strange creatures, both dressed in a blue and red uniform. Steve was normal enough on the outside, along with his partner, Monkey. Monkey, was in fact, a monkey. He didn't have a real name so didn't bother with one, so everyone just called him Monkey.
"How can you eat apples and smoke?" Monkey asked, in his strange posh English accent that he'd picked up somewhere.
"Shut up." Terrence said as he sat down, and sparked up. "I'm an addict, I'm slowly dying, you should feel sorry for me."
"Then give it up." Monkey said.
"No, sod off." He toked. "News?"
"Three released balloons, somebody fell off the umbrellas, and some guy tried to cheat on the ducks." Steve said, matter-of-factly. "Monkey dealt with him."
"What'd you do?"
"Kneecap him." Monkey said. "Just the one though."
It was worrying to realise an awful lot of pirates with peg-legs had simply been kneecapped for various crimes in the park. Except for Peg-Leg Geoff the Pirate Chef, but he was a special case.
A red light started flashing in the corner of the room, and the two in the trailer turned to each other.
For a land populated by pirates, perhaps it wasn't really that odd to find people who thought they were superheroes. I guess, for Terrence, it was just the name.
"CC?" Monkey asked.
"Yes.. we, better go. Nice talking Terrence, see you later." Steve began adjusting his apron, and began closing the burger bar.
"Actually, mind if I come along?" Terrence asked. "I've really got nothing to do."
"Uh.. ok." Steve replied, as he pulled down his mask. "But keep out of sight."
Once upon a time there was a very greedy and generally all-round nasty man called Tim. For some reason, along the line, his name changed in certain circles to Vlad, which for them must have sounded more macho and worthy of a bloody tale. All the same, he was a bit of a dork and was pretty big on the muscle side of things. During his reign of terribleness, he was given the name of Tempest Tim.
Tim the Very Naughty was at first completely unknown and just a pain in the behind to the few that knew him. However, that all changed when he heard story of a rather impressive steel-making type person who made swords. I'm sure there's a correct term for the swordsmith, but I'm sure you know what I mean anyway.
So one day Tim hunts down this swordmaking person and demands he creates him a fantastic double sword to his own ridiculous design, which made it incredibly heavy indeed. The swordsmith, a generally nice man, decided what the hey, and made the sword.
Now Tim was a great believer in the dark arts, black magic and all that. Having the metal that would be forged to make his sword blessed by those that dabbled in the dark arts, word of mouth began to spread of a sword that could cut through darkness, slay angels, etc. Quickly, a fear of the sword began to grow, before it was even finished.
Tim, taking advantage of the growing situation, started to make ridiculous claims of what he'd killed with the sword.
"Dragons, priests, postmen, painters." He would chant. "Carpenters, pirates, shoemenders, large birds of prey. Killed a plumber once."
A big man, Tim could carry the heavy double-sword around, decorated in such a fashion that was easy recognisable, with a very special crest that was created as part of the handle and on the steel itself, a logo that was grafittied on walls and shops to inspire fear in the islands he would visit. Many analysts generally agree on some sort of mid-life crisis, and the possibility of penis-envy is still being discussed today.
But even so, at the time, the fear generated by the sword began to grow. It was seen as mystical, enchanted. The more Tim talked of the sword as being magical, the more he began to believe it himself.
Now one day, on a place now called Tempest Island, after lopping off the head of a bricklayer, Tim was challenged to a duel by an old man atop Mount Kilario.
Tim laughed heartily, which then encouraged all his yes-men and assorted rabble that followed him around wherever he went to start laughing too. But eventually, because he was generally a bit of a show off, he decided to accept the duel.
"I ask this, however." The old man said. "That I be able to use your sword in the fight."
Tim was taken aback. He knew that the sword wasn't really enchanted, but somehow, he was still afraid. After coming to the conclusion that he could simply say that the sword would only work in his hands, added to the fact that the old man looked too frail to even lift the thing, he agreed.
Upon the tablelike surface of the southern side of Mount Kilario, overlooking a busy sea, a new sword was presented to Tim, and Tim's sword was handed to the old man. Tim laughed aloud, as the man attempted to lift the sword with his small arms. For a moment, Tim even pitied the old man, which of a man with the blackest of hearts, was something of a miracle.
However, Tim's pity soon became horror, as the true intentions of the old man became clear.
The old man turned away from Tim, dragging the sword with him, and tumbled, carrying the steel, over the side of the mountain and plummeted into the ocean below.
Screaming, and overtaken by his fear of the sword, Tim rushed towards the man, and plummeted soon after in his rush to save the steel. Naturally, he hit the rocks and died.
Is there a moral to the story? Probably. Something along the lines of not trying to save swords or trusting old men and the like.
But the sword was never found. Nor was Tim's body, but then, nobody looked for that.
Terrence paused for a moment to try and work out what started him thinking about the story...
*CHHAABOOMMM
Fired out of the cannon, Terrence's life flashed as he dropped towards a worryingly small net. As his face mashed into the netting, and he gained some control of his heartbeat again, the crowd inside the tent began clapping and whooping. He swore to himself, climbed down from the net, bowed somewhat, and headed back out to behind the curtain.
Terrence had been working for the circus for a few weeks now. Well, working wasn't exactly what he'd been up to.
At first, he was assigned as a caged animal with a sign exclaiming a talking koala. Which became a bit of a problem, when Terrence refused to speak.
However, negotiations later, involving a contract comprising of cigarette based payment (and lighters on weekends), and Terrence began work as a circus worker. The cannon thing was a more of a good idea at the time.
But at least he'd managed to make a few friends, which he didn't completely feel the need to kill.
"Got an apple back there?" Terrence asked.
"Only for decoration." Steve replied. One of the burger trailers was run completely by two rather strange creatures, both dressed in a blue and red uniform. Steve was normal enough on the outside, along with his partner, Monkey. Monkey, was in fact, a monkey. He didn't have a real name so didn't bother with one, so everyone just called him Monkey.
"How can you eat apples and smoke?" Monkey asked, in his strange posh English accent that he'd picked up somewhere.
"Shut up." Terrence said as he sat down, and sparked up. "I'm an addict, I'm slowly dying, you should feel sorry for me."
"Then give it up." Monkey said.
"No, sod off." He toked. "News?"
"Three released balloons, somebody fell off the umbrellas, and some guy tried to cheat on the ducks." Steve said, matter-of-factly. "Monkey dealt with him."
"What'd you do?"
"Kneecap him." Monkey said. "Just the one though."
It was worrying to realise an awful lot of pirates with peg-legs had simply been kneecapped for various crimes in the park. Except for Peg-Leg Geoff the Pirate Chef, but he was a special case.
A red light started flashing in the corner of the room, and the two in the trailer turned to each other.
For a land populated by pirates, perhaps it wasn't really that odd to find people who thought they were superheroes. I guess, for Terrence, it was just the name.
"CC?" Monkey asked.
"Yes.. we, better go. Nice talking Terrence, see you later." Steve began adjusting his apron, and began closing the burger bar.
"Actually, mind if I come along?" Terrence asked. "I've really got nothing to do."
"Uh.. ok." Steve replied, as he pulled down his mask. "But keep out of sight."
Ratfinkles! I just read the ending before the start. I have absolutely no idea where I left my brain cell today.
I love the word drool.
Ah, nice ending.
Wonderful.
Wonderful.
Terrence woke to the gentle sound of waves rushing up against the side of a stone pier, and realised that his fur was a lot more wet than usual.
"Wake up koala, we've arrived."
Terrence mumbled in reply. He hadn't slept well since arriving on the ship, and he wasn't the best of travellers anyway, he really needed the rest. He nestled his face into the flooring, soaking up water into himself.
"Up!" The cat ordered, kicking Terrence in the back.
Terrence pushed himself up with his arms, opening his eyes and trying to focus...
..The whole pier was busy with boats, even ships arriving and unloading. Men and women alike, carrying down barrels and ladders, writing down inventories and counting stock.
"Where the hell are we?" Terrence asked, as some supervisor of the unloading started shouting to where all the balloons were.
"Tempest Island, home of the largest entertainment park in the South Seas." Roca spoke with little emotion in her voice. "Need a new boat."
"Oh..." Terrence noticed the water seeping into the boat at last. "I thought that was drool."
Roca glared down at Terrence as she retrieved her hat. "Should be able to make a good amount of money here." She pulled herself onto the pier, balancing herself with the rope, then twisting herself up onto the stone walkway. She leant down to give Terrence a hand up.
Walking through the busy houses and stockyards, they finally broke away from the shouting and hauling, and between the gaps of the final few houses, Terrence followed the brown path up to the mountain which appeared before them, led on by the grassy surround.
"Wow." Terrence said to himself. "Never seen a mountain this close before."
Roca mmmed at Terrence, and strode on, clipping her boots into the mud. "Mount Kilario, they built a giant rollercoaster that goes around it."
Terrence realised he was walking quite fast to keep up with Roca's strides, and he wasn't the fittest of beings anyway.
God DAMN he needed a cigarette. And the toilet, for that matter.
As they neared the entrance to the amusement park, Roca turned to Terrence.
"Wait here."
She span back, and walked down towards a small hut on the front side of the gateway. Terrence watched, unable to hear what she was saying, but a few moments later she turned and gestured for Terrence to catch up.
-----------
The amusement park was full of oddities walking about, fat children and the like. Roca stopped, and sneered. She turned to Terrence, who looked up at her and lowered his eyebrows.
"Stay close." Roca said, and walked off again. Women with greasy hair and prams marched past, the koala stepping out of the way. Generally people avoided Roca's path, either because she looked terrifying, or maybe, and perhaps more likely, because of her hat.
The rides looked old and unsafe, designs long out of fashion. Stalls looked dull and bored, the food even more so. The employees looked almost dead, slowly being absorbed by some strange force.
Roca turned off from the path, at last away from the girls with balloons and men yelling at their kids to stop crying. Eventually, away from the noise they approached a small live in caravan, and Roca knocked on the door and entered soon after.
Inside there was little more than strange diplomas that didn't seem to mean anything, and a large map of the park.
Terrence sat on an old and dusty red sofa, and Roca whispered to him.
"Stay there, we'll make some money then we'll get out of here." She nodded, and looked away, then back. "Trust me."
Terrence wondered if he had any choice anyway.
Another door, leading to a larger section of the caravan, was opened. A small round man wearing a top hat and green pyjamas walked through.
"Ah, Roca Chenin! Always nice to see you back again."
She smiled and nodded. "Say hello, Terrence."
"Er..." Terrence looked to Roca, then to the man. "Hi." The man's face lit up smiling, like some neon sign.
"Hi there!" The man laughed to himself. "Shall we?" He gestured to Roca. They both walked into what seemed to be the small man's office, and the door closed.
-----
Every now and again, Terrence heard muffled laughter, but that was about it.
What on Earth was he doing here? Terrence took a moment to try to make sense of what had happened...
As much as he hated the koala's lifestyle, of always keeping to the same area, the fear of change.. he guessed he feared it far too much as well.
All that had happened just seems like a dream... captured, then free, thanks to the red dressed cat in the other room.. And for some reason, something that he couldn't explain, he trusted her.
That maybe all the living in the trees, away from anything, maybe he had developed a lust for adventure. To be rid of routine, and finally get out and well.. live. See everything close up, with his own eyes, away from dreaming and.. well, to be a pirate.
Sailing the seas suddenly didn't seem like a bad idea. Even with Roca as his Captain, who has surely had plenty of experience, he can see more than he ever thought he would.
Perhaps this really was the beginning of some grand adventure, of epic storytelling proportions.
The door reopened, and Roca appeared through it, holding a wad of cash in her hand. Terrence smiled.
"Brilliant.. but.." Terrence paused his thoughts. "How did you get that money?"
"Oh." Roca replied. "I just sold you. Sorry."
"Wake up koala, we've arrived."
Terrence mumbled in reply. He hadn't slept well since arriving on the ship, and he wasn't the best of travellers anyway, he really needed the rest. He nestled his face into the flooring, soaking up water into himself.
"Up!" The cat ordered, kicking Terrence in the back.
Terrence pushed himself up with his arms, opening his eyes and trying to focus...
..The whole pier was busy with boats, even ships arriving and unloading. Men and women alike, carrying down barrels and ladders, writing down inventories and counting stock.
"Where the hell are we?" Terrence asked, as some supervisor of the unloading started shouting to where all the balloons were.
"Tempest Island, home of the largest entertainment park in the South Seas." Roca spoke with little emotion in her voice. "Need a new boat."
"Oh..." Terrence noticed the water seeping into the boat at last. "I thought that was drool."
Roca glared down at Terrence as she retrieved her hat. "Should be able to make a good amount of money here." She pulled herself onto the pier, balancing herself with the rope, then twisting herself up onto the stone walkway. She leant down to give Terrence a hand up.
Walking through the busy houses and stockyards, they finally broke away from the shouting and hauling, and between the gaps of the final few houses, Terrence followed the brown path up to the mountain which appeared before them, led on by the grassy surround.
"Wow." Terrence said to himself. "Never seen a mountain this close before."
Roca mmmed at Terrence, and strode on, clipping her boots into the mud. "Mount Kilario, they built a giant rollercoaster that goes around it."
Terrence realised he was walking quite fast to keep up with Roca's strides, and he wasn't the fittest of beings anyway.
God DAMN he needed a cigarette. And the toilet, for that matter.
As they neared the entrance to the amusement park, Roca turned to Terrence.
"Wait here."
She span back, and walked down towards a small hut on the front side of the gateway. Terrence watched, unable to hear what she was saying, but a few moments later she turned and gestured for Terrence to catch up.
-----------
The amusement park was full of oddities walking about, fat children and the like. Roca stopped, and sneered. She turned to Terrence, who looked up at her and lowered his eyebrows.
"Stay close." Roca said, and walked off again. Women with greasy hair and prams marched past, the koala stepping out of the way. Generally people avoided Roca's path, either because she looked terrifying, or maybe, and perhaps more likely, because of her hat.
The rides looked old and unsafe, designs long out of fashion. Stalls looked dull and bored, the food even more so. The employees looked almost dead, slowly being absorbed by some strange force.
Roca turned off from the path, at last away from the girls with balloons and men yelling at their kids to stop crying. Eventually, away from the noise they approached a small live in caravan, and Roca knocked on the door and entered soon after.
Inside there was little more than strange diplomas that didn't seem to mean anything, and a large map of the park.
Terrence sat on an old and dusty red sofa, and Roca whispered to him.
"Stay there, we'll make some money then we'll get out of here." She nodded, and looked away, then back. "Trust me."
Terrence wondered if he had any choice anyway.
Another door, leading to a larger section of the caravan, was opened. A small round man wearing a top hat and green pyjamas walked through.
"Ah, Roca Chenin! Always nice to see you back again."
She smiled and nodded. "Say hello, Terrence."
"Er..." Terrence looked to Roca, then to the man. "Hi." The man's face lit up smiling, like some neon sign.
"Hi there!" The man laughed to himself. "Shall we?" He gestured to Roca. They both walked into what seemed to be the small man's office, and the door closed.
-----
Every now and again, Terrence heard muffled laughter, but that was about it.
What on Earth was he doing here? Terrence took a moment to try to make sense of what had happened...
As much as he hated the koala's lifestyle, of always keeping to the same area, the fear of change.. he guessed he feared it far too much as well.
All that had happened just seems like a dream... captured, then free, thanks to the red dressed cat in the other room.. And for some reason, something that he couldn't explain, he trusted her.
That maybe all the living in the trees, away from anything, maybe he had developed a lust for adventure. To be rid of routine, and finally get out and well.. live. See everything close up, with his own eyes, away from dreaming and.. well, to be a pirate.
Sailing the seas suddenly didn't seem like a bad idea. Even with Roca as his Captain, who has surely had plenty of experience, he can see more than he ever thought he would.
Perhaps this really was the beginning of some grand adventure, of epic storytelling proportions.
The door reopened, and Roca appeared through it, holding a wad of cash in her hand. Terrence smiled.
"Brilliant.. but.." Terrence paused his thoughts. "How did you get that money?"
"Oh." Roca replied. "I just sold you. Sorry."
That I liked. Terrence is a strong character. Plus I appreciate anything all the more when it uses koalas and a cat instead of the standard cast of characters.
I'll keep a look-out for this, from my lighthouse.
A nice start to what seems like a brilliantly surreal story.
Really needed to exercise my imagination again, so I'm setting up some sort of serial story for me to add to as I please.. this is more to stop me from going any more insane than anything, but it'd be great if people enjoyed it too so hey.
I'll, er, add to it randomly probably. Hope I don't dig myself into a hole.
--------------
An evil ship cut it's way through a dark ocean, led on by an unforgiven crew, already judged in their actions, all biding their time before being sent to the deepest chambers of hell.
And inside this ship, apart from the crew and a plentiful supply of rum and sugar-coated breakfast cereal, there kept, and at the moment silently, a captured hoard of koalas whose fur would make a high price.
Some koalas still sat awake, terrified of their new surroundings... watching the small barrels as they rolled from one side to another of the wooden hold. Red rags littered the walls, rope hammocks for holding goods, and the entire room filled with wooden cages, packed with the small koalas.
One koala however, apart from being seriously annoyed at being stuck in such cages, was beginning to feel the effects of not being able to have a cigarette in a few days.
He felt tense, his skin itched, and he needed to punch something. His cellmate, male unfortunately, had finished shaking violently for the night, and had gone to sleep.
For an intelligent koala, no such torture existed that went beyond being trapped with the braindead creatures that surrounded Terrence. No more frustration, surely, than the blank gawping stare from the beady eyed morons that continued to do nothing but fear any sort of change to their throat-chokingly dull lifestyle.
"I hate you all." Terrence mumbled aloud. A koala on the other side of the room moved in his cage to glare at Terrence, almost as if he understood what he said.
Terrence scraped his claws along the bottom of the cage. He had only woke up what seemed like a few hours ago. Surely someone would come in soon, someone of this damn crew.
He had wondered about this moment for a while, in preparation. That if at any time, he would get captured by fur traders and smugglers, then all he had to do was make it known he was beyond the intellect of the average koala. Smarter than the average bear, if it were. Except koalas weren't bears.
Either way, he'd stand more chance as the ship mascot, or being sold to a circus, than being skinned alive.
Terrence looked down to the sleeping koalas below him. They were all probably captured in their sleep too. He almost felt a twinge of sorrow for them.
Terrence gave up on waiting. He curled up on his side, clenched his teeth in frustration, and tried to fall back asleep again.
--------------------
The ship was in calmer waters now, and the sun rose over the horizon, scattering a million sparkles over the waves.
Two of the crew members stood at the side of the boat, bored of the ocean and dreaming of what they'd spend their money on once they return to land. Out of the corner of one of their collective eyes, a sailor saw a strange red and white blur.
"What was that?"
"...What?" Asked the other sailor, turning to try and see where he was looking.
Another red and white blur dashed between the sails.
"I saw that... there's something up there... Arrhhgg.."
Before he could finish his sentence, something long, sharp and needle-like stabbed into the back of his neck in several places, puncturing him, and causing him to collapse in pain.
In the next few moments, both men had been thrown over the side of the ship, watching as an upside down grin stared straight back at them.
---------
The crowd of koalas errupted into mass screaming as a sailor walked in through the door.
"Shut UP you DAMN things." The man shouted, hitting the cages with a wooden cane.
Terrence pushed himself up against the bars of the cage, and started shouting out.
"HEEEEEEYYYY! DOWN HEERREE!!"
He could hardly even hear himself over the screaming koalas, all of which had woken up by now and had joined in with the pointless and high pitched choir.
"OIIIIIIIIIII!"
The man continued to pull out a small crate, open it, and retrieve several boxes of cereal.
Terrence started swearing, trying to project his voice above the high pitched screaming, and the sailor turned and walked out of the door.
The screaming began to quiet down, to silence once more. Terrence fell foward, and slammed his face into the bars. He snorted out sharply.
"ARGHHH!"
A scream came from beyond the door, surprising the koalas so much, that they didn't even scream in surprise. Terrence jumped, and stared at the entrance, wide-eyed.
The man tumbled backwards, and fell through the doorway onto his back. Terrence looked down to the man, who's face was now covered in bloody slits.
The koalas began howling again, screaming terribly. Terrence snapped, started yelling too, and punched his cellmate in the face as hard as he could, knocking him out against the back of the cage.
And as quickly as the screaming had began, it quietened down. Stepping over the body on the floor was a short and slim white cat, dressed almost entirely in red clothes...
A long dull red worn coat with a bronze trim and pattern on her back, red trousers, a black waistcoat and a red wide brimmed hat, with a black fluffy feather, that drooped down... her, back.
The female cat sighed to herself and looked upon the koalas. Terrence watched, almost in shock.
She turned to walk out again, but stopped herself. She swayed back and forth, rocking on long black boots, before turning back again to the cages, and beginning to unlock them. The koalas, for some reason, just watched in silence.
"Er, lady?" Terrence said.
The cat span around on her boots, causing her coat to fly out, looking down to where the noise came from. She paused, looked around, then asked, with a sharp tongue..
"Hello?"
"Down here." Terrence replied. The cat noticed him, and lowered her knees to look at him.
"Hi." She said, and remained squatting.
Terrence stared back at her. "Look, lady, I'm extremely frustrated at the moment, it'd be great if you could let me out."
"And why should I be doing that?" She said and smiled, staring into his eyes still with no indication of ever looking away.
Terrence blinked. "You're letting us out, aren't you? Why the hell do I need to give you a reason? I'm a bloody prisoner, let me out!"
"Yes, but all these other koalas are normal, run of the mill animals." She replied, still smiling. "They can be free without reason. You my friend, may have something I could use."
"I'm a talking koala, I'm not the Prince of Wales, I don't have anything, let me out."
"I'm not talking about money, I'm talking about your little head." She grinned as she spoke, and looked around. Terrence narrowed his glare at her... "Small one, can you sail?"
"No."
"Then you will learn. From now on, you are part of my crew." She extended a claw, and began to concentrate on picking the lock. "You will help me sail as your debt for me saving you from this terrible fate." The cat spoke with remarkable tongue and a soft voice, every word piercing to the ear. The lock clicked open, and she removed it, moving onto the next cage to unlock.
Terrence climbed down the bars, and stood to the floor. "Look, really, I'm sincerely happy you've rescued me here, whoever you are, but I don't think I'll be of much use to you, so if you'd just bring me back to land and I'll be on my way."
"No." She replied, simply. She unlocked another cage and opened it.
Terrence sighed. "I don't suppose you have a cigarette?"
"I'm afraid not."
Terrence clenched his paw into a fist, and with the cat's back turned to him, he snuck out of the doorway, and into the corridor.
---------
Breathless from running, it wasn't before long that he'd made his way to the deck. By passing the slashed bodies on the way, Terrence wanted to distance himself from the insane cat girl even further.
He looked over the edge, trying to find where her boat was tied. Lifting himself up and jumping to see over the barrier, he made his way around the ship, leaping up again and again...
"Over here, koala."
Terrence froze, as the cat called to him. He widened his eyes, then sighed, and decided to follow after her.
She stepped over the side of the boat, climbing down a rope. Terrence looked over the side, and a rather small sailing boat was tied to holes that perhaps weren't put in there as part of the design.
"Come on koala!" The cat called up. "Unless you want to help the rest of the koalas crew this ship?"
Terrence considered it for a moment. Captaining a ship with a crew of koalas would... be impossible. Even the images of pirate koalas swinging from mast to mast couldn't settle it in reality.
He pulled himself up and onto the wooden barrier, then swung himself over and started lowering himself down the rope.
------------
Before long, the ship was vanishing into the distance.
"Hold this tightly." The cat said, passing a rope to Terrence. He grasped his claws around it, and pulled it down against the wooden flooring. The rope seemed to be holding the mast and sail in place, and the cat checked the angle to a compass.
"So, what is your name?" The cat asked, sitting down to relax, as Terrence held the rope. He frowned.
"Terrence." He said, and looked up to the sail. "Do I really need to hold this?"
"No, you can tie it behind you." She replied, carving the words with her tongue.
Terrence turned, and tried to tie the rope to a metal ring that stuck out from the side. After doing so, he sighed again, and sat down to face the cat.
"What's your name?" Terrence asked.
"Captain Roca Chenin." She replied. "My parents named me after a bottle of wine."
Terrence stared at the cat, and she adjusted the feather of her headwear.
"They were drunk at the time." She added.
Terrence nodded, and looked over to the water. Not that Terrence knew anything about sailing whatsoever, but they seemed to be on a strong wind.
Roca stood up, and made her way to the back of the boat, sitting down to control the wheel. "We head for land, my friend. There are some friends of mine I need to talk to."
"What about?" Terrence asked. Roca turned her head to the koala, staring at him.
"Why ask?"
"I'm your crew now." Terrence replied. "I think, surely, I deserve to know who my Captain is, and what she's up to?"
"Ah." Roca said. "Well, then yes. Well... hm. That ship of yours, there was supposed to be more than koalas on it. In fact, there wasn't supposed to be koalas on it at all."
"You don't suppose perhaps you got the wrong ship?" Terrence asked.
"Not at all, you're free, are you not?" She replied.
Terrence frowned. He shook his head, closed his eyes, and bit his tongue. He had been saved, in the very least of the word, by an insane pirate she-cat, and was now helping her sail for the debt of rescue.
"So what are you, a pirate?" Terrence asked.
"Yes, and so now are you." She replied.
He really, really needed a cigarette.
I'll, er, add to it randomly probably. Hope I don't dig myself into a hole.
--------------
An evil ship cut it's way through a dark ocean, led on by an unforgiven crew, already judged in their actions, all biding their time before being sent to the deepest chambers of hell.
And inside this ship, apart from the crew and a plentiful supply of rum and sugar-coated breakfast cereal, there kept, and at the moment silently, a captured hoard of koalas whose fur would make a high price.
Some koalas still sat awake, terrified of their new surroundings... watching the small barrels as they rolled from one side to another of the wooden hold. Red rags littered the walls, rope hammocks for holding goods, and the entire room filled with wooden cages, packed with the small koalas.
One koala however, apart from being seriously annoyed at being stuck in such cages, was beginning to feel the effects of not being able to have a cigarette in a few days.
He felt tense, his skin itched, and he needed to punch something. His cellmate, male unfortunately, had finished shaking violently for the night, and had gone to sleep.
For an intelligent koala, no such torture existed that went beyond being trapped with the braindead creatures that surrounded Terrence. No more frustration, surely, than the blank gawping stare from the beady eyed morons that continued to do nothing but fear any sort of change to their throat-chokingly dull lifestyle.
"I hate you all." Terrence mumbled aloud. A koala on the other side of the room moved in his cage to glare at Terrence, almost as if he understood what he said.
Terrence scraped his claws along the bottom of the cage. He had only woke up what seemed like a few hours ago. Surely someone would come in soon, someone of this damn crew.
He had wondered about this moment for a while, in preparation. That if at any time, he would get captured by fur traders and smugglers, then all he had to do was make it known he was beyond the intellect of the average koala. Smarter than the average bear, if it were. Except koalas weren't bears.
Either way, he'd stand more chance as the ship mascot, or being sold to a circus, than being skinned alive.
Terrence looked down to the sleeping koalas below him. They were all probably captured in their sleep too. He almost felt a twinge of sorrow for them.
Terrence gave up on waiting. He curled up on his side, clenched his teeth in frustration, and tried to fall back asleep again.
--------------------
The ship was in calmer waters now, and the sun rose over the horizon, scattering a million sparkles over the waves.
Two of the crew members stood at the side of the boat, bored of the ocean and dreaming of what they'd spend their money on once they return to land. Out of the corner of one of their collective eyes, a sailor saw a strange red and white blur.
"What was that?"
"...What?" Asked the other sailor, turning to try and see where he was looking.
Another red and white blur dashed between the sails.
"I saw that... there's something up there... Arrhhgg.."
Before he could finish his sentence, something long, sharp and needle-like stabbed into the back of his neck in several places, puncturing him, and causing him to collapse in pain.
In the next few moments, both men had been thrown over the side of the ship, watching as an upside down grin stared straight back at them.
---------
The crowd of koalas errupted into mass screaming as a sailor walked in through the door.
"Shut UP you DAMN things." The man shouted, hitting the cages with a wooden cane.
Terrence pushed himself up against the bars of the cage, and started shouting out.
"HEEEEEEYYYY! DOWN HEERREE!!"
He could hardly even hear himself over the screaming koalas, all of which had woken up by now and had joined in with the pointless and high pitched choir.
"OIIIIIIIIIII!"
The man continued to pull out a small crate, open it, and retrieve several boxes of cereal.
Terrence started swearing, trying to project his voice above the high pitched screaming, and the sailor turned and walked out of the door.
The screaming began to quiet down, to silence once more. Terrence fell foward, and slammed his face into the bars. He snorted out sharply.
"ARGHHH!"
A scream came from beyond the door, surprising the koalas so much, that they didn't even scream in surprise. Terrence jumped, and stared at the entrance, wide-eyed.
The man tumbled backwards, and fell through the doorway onto his back. Terrence looked down to the man, who's face was now covered in bloody slits.
The koalas began howling again, screaming terribly. Terrence snapped, started yelling too, and punched his cellmate in the face as hard as he could, knocking him out against the back of the cage.
And as quickly as the screaming had began, it quietened down. Stepping over the body on the floor was a short and slim white cat, dressed almost entirely in red clothes...
A long dull red worn coat with a bronze trim and pattern on her back, red trousers, a black waistcoat and a red wide brimmed hat, with a black fluffy feather, that drooped down... her, back.
The female cat sighed to herself and looked upon the koalas. Terrence watched, almost in shock.
She turned to walk out again, but stopped herself. She swayed back and forth, rocking on long black boots, before turning back again to the cages, and beginning to unlock them. The koalas, for some reason, just watched in silence.
"Er, lady?" Terrence said.
The cat span around on her boots, causing her coat to fly out, looking down to where the noise came from. She paused, looked around, then asked, with a sharp tongue..
"Hello?"
"Down here." Terrence replied. The cat noticed him, and lowered her knees to look at him.
"Hi." She said, and remained squatting.
Terrence stared back at her. "Look, lady, I'm extremely frustrated at the moment, it'd be great if you could let me out."
"And why should I be doing that?" She said and smiled, staring into his eyes still with no indication of ever looking away.
Terrence blinked. "You're letting us out, aren't you? Why the hell do I need to give you a reason? I'm a bloody prisoner, let me out!"
"Yes, but all these other koalas are normal, run of the mill animals." She replied, still smiling. "They can be free without reason. You my friend, may have something I could use."
"I'm a talking koala, I'm not the Prince of Wales, I don't have anything, let me out."
"I'm not talking about money, I'm talking about your little head." She grinned as she spoke, and looked around. Terrence narrowed his glare at her... "Small one, can you sail?"
"No."
"Then you will learn. From now on, you are part of my crew." She extended a claw, and began to concentrate on picking the lock. "You will help me sail as your debt for me saving you from this terrible fate." The cat spoke with remarkable tongue and a soft voice, every word piercing to the ear. The lock clicked open, and she removed it, moving onto the next cage to unlock.
Terrence climbed down the bars, and stood to the floor. "Look, really, I'm sincerely happy you've rescued me here, whoever you are, but I don't think I'll be of much use to you, so if you'd just bring me back to land and I'll be on my way."
"No." She replied, simply. She unlocked another cage and opened it.
Terrence sighed. "I don't suppose you have a cigarette?"
"I'm afraid not."
Terrence clenched his paw into a fist, and with the cat's back turned to him, he snuck out of the doorway, and into the corridor.
---------
Breathless from running, it wasn't before long that he'd made his way to the deck. By passing the slashed bodies on the way, Terrence wanted to distance himself from the insane cat girl even further.
He looked over the edge, trying to find where her boat was tied. Lifting himself up and jumping to see over the barrier, he made his way around the ship, leaping up again and again...
"Over here, koala."
Terrence froze, as the cat called to him. He widened his eyes, then sighed, and decided to follow after her.
She stepped over the side of the boat, climbing down a rope. Terrence looked over the side, and a rather small sailing boat was tied to holes that perhaps weren't put in there as part of the design.
"Come on koala!" The cat called up. "Unless you want to help the rest of the koalas crew this ship?"
Terrence considered it for a moment. Captaining a ship with a crew of koalas would... be impossible. Even the images of pirate koalas swinging from mast to mast couldn't settle it in reality.
He pulled himself up and onto the wooden barrier, then swung himself over and started lowering himself down the rope.
------------
Before long, the ship was vanishing into the distance.
"Hold this tightly." The cat said, passing a rope to Terrence. He grasped his claws around it, and pulled it down against the wooden flooring. The rope seemed to be holding the mast and sail in place, and the cat checked the angle to a compass.
"So, what is your name?" The cat asked, sitting down to relax, as Terrence held the rope. He frowned.
"Terrence." He said, and looked up to the sail. "Do I really need to hold this?"
"No, you can tie it behind you." She replied, carving the words with her tongue.
Terrence turned, and tried to tie the rope to a metal ring that stuck out from the side. After doing so, he sighed again, and sat down to face the cat.
"What's your name?" Terrence asked.
"Captain Roca Chenin." She replied. "My parents named me after a bottle of wine."
Terrence stared at the cat, and she adjusted the feather of her headwear.
"They were drunk at the time." She added.
Terrence nodded, and looked over to the water. Not that Terrence knew anything about sailing whatsoever, but they seemed to be on a strong wind.
Roca stood up, and made her way to the back of the boat, sitting down to control the wheel. "We head for land, my friend. There are some friends of mine I need to talk to."
"What about?" Terrence asked. Roca turned her head to the koala, staring at him.
"Why ask?"
"I'm your crew now." Terrence replied. "I think, surely, I deserve to know who my Captain is, and what she's up to?"
"Ah." Roca said. "Well, then yes. Well... hm. That ship of yours, there was supposed to be more than koalas on it. In fact, there wasn't supposed to be koalas on it at all."
"You don't suppose perhaps you got the wrong ship?" Terrence asked.
"Not at all, you're free, are you not?" She replied.
Terrence frowned. He shook his head, closed his eyes, and bit his tongue. He had been saved, in the very least of the word, by an insane pirate she-cat, and was now helping her sail for the debt of rescue.
"So what are you, a pirate?" Terrence asked.
"Yes, and so now are you." She replied.
He really, really needed a cigarette.