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"Mind, Body & Kick-Ass Moves"

Anyone seen this on BBC3? It's like Derren Brown, but martial arts and more like a documentary with less showing off or clucking like chickens. Most amazing thing I've seen on it so far is the bloke that could ring a bell with his voice - from the other side of the room. Apparently he can focus his Kia (not Chi, but the same sort of thing) on his voice so that it projects - and he can actually stun people with a short, sharp shout. He's killed animals with it, and has to limit his attacks in Human demonstrations to two shouts, otherwise he could cause internal damage to your organs!

Also there was the bloke that could lift weights with his "iron penis", that the host (a martial arts expert/hard-looking nutcase) couldn't lift with both his hands, by mastering Chi on his willy! He ran classes with people hanging weights from their c***s. He pulled a 3-ton truck with it too, and can keep it up for an hour...apparently. Good for him.

Mr Snuggly wrote:
> the sagacious one wrote:
> Every punch in the face resulted in tears, which had the effect of
> making it harder to block the next punch. All credit to the kid
> though, he kept going and my mate respected his integrity by making
> sure he gave him a good whallop if his block wasn't successful.
>
> Best Post TodayTM

Kia!!!

the sagacious one wrote:
> Every punch in the face resulted in tears, which had the effect of
> making it harder to block the next punch. All credit to the kid
> though, he kept going and my mate respected his integrity by making
> sure he gave him a good whallop if his block wasn't successful.

Best Post TodayTM

ßora† §agdiyeV wrote:

> I'd seen that iron penis thing on a video ages ago

Not going to judge your 'taste' of porn

Mind, Body and Kick Ass moves sucked, IMO.

The guy was well up his own @rse, he was like David Blaine only a martial artist. Telling bouncers about how to disarm someone and then 'Break-dance on their face' showed just how sad he really is.

Those parlour tricks about breaking paving slabs with your hands have never impressed me. I'll admit that when that iron penis guy bent that steel tube using only his hand, it was a good display of controlled power, but using cheesy tricks to wow the Lamens is not impressive. An old Kung Fu school I attended did these sort of things regularly - breaking bricks on their head with a sledgehammer, washing their faces with broken glass, sticking spears in their throat. They're all just cheap tricks to get people thinking that martial arts make you super-human.

I'd seen that iron penis thing on a video ages ago, performed by real shaolin monks. I suppose it gives you an idea about how you can toughen any part of your body, but what relevance does it have to fighting?

Anyway, that's my rant over, I'd rather see more stuff on telly where people use their martial arts for what they are designed for - fighting! Let's see how your iron penis helps you in an Ultimate Fighting Championship match.

I meant to watch that show but forgot it was on.

pb wrote:
> the sagacious one wrote:
> my mate was paired with a small kid
> and proceeding to repeatedly punch him in the face until he blocked
> one of the salvo of punches.
>
> Your mate had no respect then.

His Kung Fu was weak and outdated, he got what he deserved.

I think his persistence paid off and he gained his belt. I imagine that it would be an interesting conversation with his parents.

"So little Tommy did you win?"

"It's not a competition dad"

"Well did you get your thing then?"

"Yeah."

"Well what did you have to do?"

"I did a kata and then did my Kia "KIAAA!" then I follow to some Japanese instructions, then a bigger boy smacked me in the face fifteen times".

"I can't believe it. This is an OUTRAGE! You shouted KIA! rather than use a war cry which is the Kia itself. I'm disowning you son. I'll drop you off at the home and pick us up a proper kid."

"Can we go Maccy Dees first."

"Ok."

FINI

the sagacious one wrote:
> my mate was paired with a small kid
> and proceeding to repeatedly punch him in the face until he blocked
> one of the salvo of punches.

Your mate had no respect then.

Did the child get his red belt? Imagine his parents coming to pick him up after that.

The best thing that I've ever seen was at my first grading trying to earn our stupid coloured belt thing. I was there with a mate and we were probably about 12-13. Anyway one of the exercises was the "block the punch from your opponent who is standing 3 feet away from you and your hands start by your sides" test. I was paired up with some bloke who would have smacked the hell out of me if he was really trying to hit me but my mate was paired with a small kid and proceeding to repeatedly punch him in the face until he blocked one of the salvo of punches.

Every punch in the face resulted in tears, which had the effect of making it harder to block the next punch. All credit to the kid though, he kept going and my mate respected his integrity by making sure he gave him a good whallop if his block wasn't successful.

I'd have been howling with laughter if I didn't fear a reprisal from the instructor...