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"Short Poem Competition Returns"

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Wed 11/08/04 at 21:35
Regular
"Incomprehendible"
Posts: 2,938
Hey all. Discodexy asked if someone would start a new one of these competitions, so here goes.

Rules:

-Maximum of, shall we say, 200 words?
-The word to base it around is "pain", you can easily get something out of that.

I'm going on holiday on Sunday but will judge soon after I get back. Shall we say, entries in by 2nd September, and I will judge them and name the top three poems on the 4th September. This gives people plenty of time to get their entries in.

Post your poems in this thread!

Enjoy

RESULTS!

3rd Place goes to Mav for this entry...

Pain.
Makes me feel insane,
It comes and goes
My mind is slain,
Withdrawn, retreated,
A wounded fawn,
Nothing is here for me,
Nothing will help.

It rises up - the pain in me,
Even alone, I feel its grip,
No pressure, no feeling,
Just the horror of it,
I fall, neglected,
A victim, rejected,
My mind is affected
In ways I accept it,
But I can't help but give in,
It overthrows me, commands,
I'm suffocating, holding out my arms,
Grasping for help, but I slip away,
Unnoticed, uncared for, there's no other way,
They don't know about me, neither do you,
I drift through crowds,
Invisible.

Yet my pain remains, I live in vain,
Because I can't.
There's no going forward,
No going back,
To these people I'm a pet,
They call me Jack.


2nd place goes to Grebo, for this entry...

"In mute mental anguish,
We are divided by allegiances,
Our stoppered emotions,
Precipitating smouldering conflagrations,
And explosions of patience,
Whether soul-less happiness,
Or soul-full despair,
Inciting reactions of ineffectuality,
Leading to solitude,
Always looking to reason,
But finding indefatigable naiveté,
Always leading, leading, leading,
Downwards spiralling,
To an ultimate climax,
Rushing, insisting,
and pressing the balance,
Losing our equilibrium,
Leading, leading,
Subconscious observations,
Of intellectual depravations,
And self imposed mental anarchy,
Giving stunning inspirations,
Revelations of reality,
Dawning from obscurity,
Losing, losing,
Humour engulfed,
Mind retreating,
Downwards spiralling,
Self absorbed,
Comatose,
Eventual emotional flat liner."


and the winner is... Azul! For his entry, I've got the Power...

My remorseful soul, a prism of unrest;
Summer rains replenishing and tender
And shadowy clouds ebb and flow with jest;
A ray of gold pierces them with splendour
As light hits my soul and splits into a rainbow.
The valley echoes with my brothers cries
And fields of faith bloom with hope as they grow.
I see my beacon shine through broken skies:

Sapphire birds dance through the eloquent air
And roses sway in the winds of grandeur.
The beauty overwhelms as petals wear,
and hated barbs play a hurtful overture.
The thorns puncture my heart with woeful pain -
I'm smiling; meaningfully going insane

Congratulations Azul, you've won the satisfaction of knowing I thought your poem was better than all the other entries.

Thanks to everyone who entered (especially Mattribute, who put in loads of short, often odd, poems), I just thought these were the best of the lot. Anyone that wants to start the next competition with their own word is free to do so.

Cheers

*HE*
Page:
Fri 01/10/04 at 04:25
Regular
"dudes2"
Posts: 64
hate yoself
to watch yoself
shakin shakin
gotta shakin gotta shakin
gotta shakin to the watch yo self.
booooooom
da dana da da da daaaa da na na
ya gotta shake yo self to watch yo self
yo total respect
i;'zzzz goin to the quicky mart to get me'sss somes donuts and mmmm
dockers fruitchakes.
ya gotta shake shake it.
da da da da da da dadadadada daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!
Mon 13/09/04 at 22:55
"Majestic"
Posts: 1,625
By rights, Azul should start a new one...

Congrats by the way.
Mon 13/09/04 at 18:43
Regular
"Incomprehendible"
Posts: 2,938
er... superhodge? the contest finished 9 days ago...
Mon 13/09/04 at 17:00
Regular
Posts: 118
You call that a poem check this one out

One evening in November, as I will sure remember, I was walking down the street in drunken pride. And I lay there in the gutter my feet was all a shudder and a pig came on and lay there by my side. As I lay there in the gutter thinking thoughts I should not utter a person passing did softly say you can tell a man who boozes by the company he chooses at the pig got up and quickly walked away.
Sun 12/09/04 at 22:45
Regular
"aka memo aaka gayby"
Posts: 11,948
I love how Azul won with KieranJay's poem.

How the hell could anyone have missed the huge Nash v KieranJay argument?
Sun 12/09/04 at 22:40
Regular
"tokyo police club"
Posts: 12,540
Jonathan Nash wrote:
> Just so you know, Mattribute's poems were dank.

Really? I never realised...
Mon 06/09/04 at 18:52
Regular
"pale dreams of life"
Posts: 42
hey thanks for 2nd place dude
Sun 05/09/04 at 21:51
Regular
"Which one's pink?"
Posts: 12,152
OH MY GOD BE QUIET MEMO OH MY GOD JR
Sun 05/09/04 at 21:50
Regular
"aka memo aaka gayby"
Posts: 11,948
Hey, J Nash, isn't Azul's winning poem just the one he copied and pasted off of you?
Sun 05/09/04 at 21:34
Regular
"Teal'c"
Posts: 3,617
Just so you know, Mattribute's poems were dank.
Page:

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