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My existence can be summed up quite simply; I was born, met Jayne and then died.
It was a warm September evening when we first crossed paths at the Casa Olympe restaurant in Paris. As I recall she had an argument with her fiancé that evening and he had stormed off leaving her sitting there with streams of mascara rolling down her cheeks. However, she decided to stay and after consoling herself she ordered her meal, the chef’s speciality which was some sort of meat dish.
I too was feeling vulnerable that evening, as well as hungry. I had been admiring Jayne’s body from afar and against my usual shy nature I moved in to join her just before her meal was served. It was an unusual situation but considering events that evening we both seemed happy to have some company, as well as our meals which were a delightful encounter.
We did not have much conversation but I ended up going back to her apartment, I was worried her fiancé would be there but they lived separately. Jayne sobbed into the early morning and comforted herself by eating ice cream and pancakes as we both had an outrageous appetite.
Well, that was our first encounter and the start of a beautiful relationship. Jayne and Daniel (her fiancé) split up later that month and I was lucky enough to avoid any confrontation with him. I had no where to stay but luckily Jayne let me live in her, it was comfortable and I was always well fed.
Things were going great until one evening in January when she brought an old ‘friend’ to dine with us at Café Runtz. I was outraged with the obvious flirting between the two; it was as if nobody could see me. As I had no job I did not contribute towards the bill which was quite hefty after the delicious feast. After coffee all three of us headed back to our apartment. I felt uncomfortable being in the bedroom with them but I couldn’t do anything else, I was just so attached to Jayne and couldn’t escape it.
By the morning I felt awful and worthless (though it could have been the wine, it never sits well with me). Though I felt as if Jayne had used me just to make her feel better, yet when he arrived I was hardly thought of again. We didn’t talk anymore. She only ever talked about getting rid of me to a man she didn’t know very well, I didn’t like him, he called me all sorts of horrible names:
“... like a leech, extracting all it can from you.“
Me?? Me the leech? She had used me! Fair enough Jayne gave me a home, fed me well and kept me alive but to be called a parasite and hanger-on was quite hard to handle.
After her appointments with the man our time together quickly ended. She was trying to get me out of her life and he was helping. It was poison, I never stood a chance and still we never talked. I wanted to tell her to stop, to plead with her but it was no use.
“Thank God that bloody tapeworm has gone”
And with a single flush my relationship with Jayne and life itself ended.
It was a warm September evening when we first crossed paths at the Casa Olympe restaurant in Paris. As I recall she had an argument with her fiancé that evening and he had stormed off leaving her sitting there with streams of mascara rolling down her cheeks. However, she decided to stay and after consoling herself she ordered her meal, the chef’s speciality which was some sort of meat dish.
I too was feeling vulnerable that evening, as well as hungry. I had been admiring Jayne’s body from afar and against my usual shy nature I moved in to join her just before her meal was served. It was an unusual situation but considering events that evening we both seemed happy to have some company, as well as our meals which were a delightful encounter.
We did not have much conversation but I ended up going back to her apartment, I was worried her fiancé would be there but they lived separately. Jayne sobbed into the early morning and comforted herself by eating ice cream and pancakes as we both had an outrageous appetite.
Well, that was our first encounter and the start of a beautiful relationship. Jayne and Daniel (her fiancé) split up later that month and I was lucky enough to avoid any confrontation with him. I had no where to stay but luckily Jayne let me live in her, it was comfortable and I was always well fed.
Things were going great until one evening in January when she brought an old ‘friend’ to dine with us at Café Runtz. I was outraged with the obvious flirting between the two; it was as if nobody could see me. As I had no job I did not contribute towards the bill which was quite hefty after the delicious feast. After coffee all three of us headed back to our apartment. I felt uncomfortable being in the bedroom with them but I couldn’t do anything else, I was just so attached to Jayne and couldn’t escape it.
By the morning I felt awful and worthless (though it could have been the wine, it never sits well with me). Though I felt as if Jayne had used me just to make her feel better, yet when he arrived I was hardly thought of again. We didn’t talk anymore. She only ever talked about getting rid of me to a man she didn’t know very well, I didn’t like him, he called me all sorts of horrible names:
“... like a leech, extracting all it can from you.“
Me?? Me the leech? She had used me! Fair enough Jayne gave me a home, fed me well and kept me alive but to be called a parasite and hanger-on was quite hard to handle.
After her appointments with the man our time together quickly ended. She was trying to get me out of her life and he was helping. It was poison, I never stood a chance and still we never talked. I wanted to tell her to stop, to plead with her but it was no use.
“Thank God that bloody tapeworm has gone”
And with a single flush my relationship with Jayne and life itself ended.
That caught me unawares :D
The "in her" comments sent me mentally down the wrong track :)
The "in her" comments sent me mentally down the wrong track :)
Hurrah
Haha, that was great. The ending was completely unexpected. :-D
Hmmmm, okay. I wondered if it might have been intentional but I just didn't see that fitting in with the rest of the piece.
Anyway, yeah, if taken as a whole it was generally a well written piece that proves you should be entering more often.
Anyway, yeah, if taken as a whole it was generally a well written piece that proves you should be entering more often.
Yeah, just giving it a shot, haven't written much since a few years ago in school.
P.S that 'in her' was on purpose.
Honest
P.S that 'in her' was on purpose.
Honest
SHEEPY wrote:
> I had no where to stay but luckily Jayne let me live in her
That must have been pleasant. ;^)
On a more serious note, I really liked the opening to the story, it was cheesy but for me just had something about it I liked, which I can't put my finger on. The end, however, wasn't quite as great.
The thing is, you can't say your life has ended (as it was 1st person) yet still have these words written down. I've tried to do it myself and others have rightly pointed out that it doesn't quite fit. Aside from that, it was short, sweet, and conjured a few nice, fresh pictures in my imagination.
Anyway. Thanks for that, it’s always nice to see more people giving SSC a go.
> I had no where to stay but luckily Jayne let me live in her
That must have been pleasant. ;^)
On a more serious note, I really liked the opening to the story, it was cheesy but for me just had something about it I liked, which I can't put my finger on. The end, however, wasn't quite as great.
The thing is, you can't say your life has ended (as it was 1st person) yet still have these words written down. I've tried to do it myself and others have rightly pointed out that it doesn't quite fit. Aside from that, it was short, sweet, and conjured a few nice, fresh pictures in my imagination.
Anyway. Thanks for that, it’s always nice to see more people giving SSC a go.
My existence can be summed up quite simply; I was born, met Jayne and then died.
It was a warm September evening when we first crossed paths at the Casa Olympe restaurant in Paris. As I recall she had an argument with her fiancé that evening and he had stormed off leaving her sitting there with streams of mascara rolling down her cheeks. However, she decided to stay and after consoling herself she ordered her meal, the chef’s speciality which was some sort of meat dish.
I too was feeling vulnerable that evening, as well as hungry. I had been admiring Jayne’s body from afar and against my usual shy nature I moved in to join her just before her meal was served. It was an unusual situation but considering events that evening we both seemed happy to have some company, as well as our meals which were a delightful encounter.
We did not have much conversation but I ended up going back to her apartment, I was worried her fiancé would be there but they lived separately. Jayne sobbed into the early morning and comforted herself by eating ice cream and pancakes as we both had an outrageous appetite.
Well, that was our first encounter and the start of a beautiful relationship. Jayne and Daniel (her fiancé) split up later that month and I was lucky enough to avoid any confrontation with him. I had no where to stay but luckily Jayne let me live in her, it was comfortable and I was always well fed.
Things were going great until one evening in January when she brought an old ‘friend’ to dine with us at Café Runtz. I was outraged with the obvious flirting between the two; it was as if nobody could see me. As I had no job I did not contribute towards the bill which was quite hefty after the delicious feast. After coffee all three of us headed back to our apartment. I felt uncomfortable being in the bedroom with them but I couldn’t do anything else, I was just so attached to Jayne and couldn’t escape it.
By the morning I felt awful and worthless (though it could have been the wine, it never sits well with me). Though I felt as if Jayne had used me just to make her feel better, yet when he arrived I was hardly thought of again. We didn’t talk anymore. She only ever talked about getting rid of me to a man she didn’t know very well, I didn’t like him, he called me all sorts of horrible names:
“... like a leech, extracting all it can from you.“
Me?? Me the leech? She had used me! Fair enough Jayne gave me a home, fed me well and kept me alive but to be called a parasite and hanger-on was quite hard to handle.
After her appointments with the man our time together quickly ended. She was trying to get me out of her life and he was helping. It was poison, I never stood a chance and still we never talked. I wanted to tell her to stop, to plead with her but it was no use.
“Thank God that bloody tapeworm has gone”
And with a single flush my relationship with Jayne and life itself ended.
It was a warm September evening when we first crossed paths at the Casa Olympe restaurant in Paris. As I recall she had an argument with her fiancé that evening and he had stormed off leaving her sitting there with streams of mascara rolling down her cheeks. However, she decided to stay and after consoling herself she ordered her meal, the chef’s speciality which was some sort of meat dish.
I too was feeling vulnerable that evening, as well as hungry. I had been admiring Jayne’s body from afar and against my usual shy nature I moved in to join her just before her meal was served. It was an unusual situation but considering events that evening we both seemed happy to have some company, as well as our meals which were a delightful encounter.
We did not have much conversation but I ended up going back to her apartment, I was worried her fiancé would be there but they lived separately. Jayne sobbed into the early morning and comforted herself by eating ice cream and pancakes as we both had an outrageous appetite.
Well, that was our first encounter and the start of a beautiful relationship. Jayne and Daniel (her fiancé) split up later that month and I was lucky enough to avoid any confrontation with him. I had no where to stay but luckily Jayne let me live in her, it was comfortable and I was always well fed.
Things were going great until one evening in January when she brought an old ‘friend’ to dine with us at Café Runtz. I was outraged with the obvious flirting between the two; it was as if nobody could see me. As I had no job I did not contribute towards the bill which was quite hefty after the delicious feast. After coffee all three of us headed back to our apartment. I felt uncomfortable being in the bedroom with them but I couldn’t do anything else, I was just so attached to Jayne and couldn’t escape it.
By the morning I felt awful and worthless (though it could have been the wine, it never sits well with me). Though I felt as if Jayne had used me just to make her feel better, yet when he arrived I was hardly thought of again. We didn’t talk anymore. She only ever talked about getting rid of me to a man she didn’t know very well, I didn’t like him, he called me all sorts of horrible names:
“... like a leech, extracting all it can from you.“
Me?? Me the leech? She had used me! Fair enough Jayne gave me a home, fed me well and kept me alive but to be called a parasite and hanger-on was quite hard to handle.
After her appointments with the man our time together quickly ended. She was trying to get me out of her life and he was helping. It was poison, I never stood a chance and still we never talked. I wanted to tell her to stop, to plead with her but it was no use.
“Thank God that bloody tapeworm has gone”
And with a single flush my relationship with Jayne and life itself ended.