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Prodigy
I awoke slowly, revelling in the memory of the pleasure I'd enjoyed prior to falling asleep, and opened my eyes to gaze upon the burnt figure who lay beside me. It was always the same when the desire to mate was strong in me. Suitors would be drawn to my scent, always believing that they would be able to withstand the backwash from my desire; for to mate successfully I need to be enshrouded in a living flame which few can survive. The demon, whose corpse now shared my bed, had been successful to a certain degree. He'd had the ability to form dust from the very air and had been able to smother my flame long enough to get close to me. However, at a crucial time his concentration had wavered ever so slightly and my flame had devoured him.
"I see another lover found you too hot to handle" said my brother from the doorway. He chuckled to himself at the much cliched saying.
"And I see you have been spending too much time topside, mixing with the humans!" I growled at him in response. Then I realised that my brother was not trying to approach me, which meant he was no longer drawn to my scent, and that meant that the mating had been successful. "I need to go topside myself now to find a host. Do you want to come with me?"
It had been a stupid question as my brother needed little excuse to go topside and amuse himself. We stood together in an elevated corner of a club and surveyed the gyrating figures that thronged the dance floor or shuffled their feet around where they stood. Eventually I pointed to the athletic figure I had chosen to be the host. A reading of the man told me everything I needed to know. He was well aware of how attractive he was to the females in the club and encouraged them to flirt outrageously with him. However, I could also read that back home he had a young wife and two children whom he victimised and bullied. He was strong, fit enough to last for the one week gestation period and his soul would make a nice gift for my father.
It was too easy to ensnare him. Mortal man is easy to seduce, especially when you are armed with the ability to appeal to their base nature but it is always just a game. I had time yet to play so I approached him from the front. Initially making eye contact, giving a small smile and then glancing away and glancing back again. Appealing to the bully in him by appearing to be demure and an easy target to manipulate while feeding his ego by noticing him. He approached me during a slow record and asked me to dance. Confidently leading me onto the floor he enfolded me in his arms, his leg pushed tight between my thighs while he brushed his fingers through my hair and dropped feather like kisses just below my ear and under my jaw. He tried to kiss me full on the mouth but I wasn't quite ready for that and forestalled him by indicating I was eager to leave with him, now.
Once outside the club I gently nudged him into the nearest alleyway and gave him the kiss he had so desired. My spawn, which I carried just below my tongue, flooded into his body with my saliva and found itself a comfortable spot to develop in his stomach. As soon as the spawn was securely attached it released a paralysing agent into the hosts' bloodstream rendering them incapable of anything but thought. At this point I transported us both to the cavern where I had been impregnated, which still contained the demon corpse and a thick layer of dust over the floor, to await the outcome. The eyes of the host were wide open in fear and I could hear his silent screams of horror and confusion as I just smiled at him and left him to his fate.
Exactly one week later I returned to see if the spawn had been successful in growing. The host lay unmoving on the floor of the cavern, barely still alive, but his stomach was hugely distended and movement could be seen through the paper thin flesh. It was still a dangerous time for the spawn as it had to free itself from the host and if it couldn't manage this small task I would end its existence, for only the strongest are allowed to survive. Even as I watched, flames began to engulf the host, burning a way out for the spawn. It was going to be a daughter and she had bred true. Suddenly a cloud of dust smothered the flames and two daughters stood amongst the ashen remains of their host.
So it was, that with a great deal of satisfaction, I collected my twin daughters, Dust and Flame, and took them to meet their grandfather.
I awoke slowly, revelling in the memory of the pleasure I'd enjoyed prior to falling asleep, and opened my eyes to gaze upon the burnt figure who lay beside me. It was always the same when the desire to mate was strong in me. Suitors would be drawn to my scent, always believing that they would be able to withstand the backwash from my desire; for to mate successfully I need to be enshrouded in a living flame which few can survive. The demon, whose corpse now shared my bed, had been successful to a certain degree. He'd had the ability to form dust from the very air and had been able to smother my flame long enough to get close to me. However, at a crucial time his concentration had wavered ever so slightly and my flame had devoured him.
"I see another lover found you too hot to handle" said my brother from the doorway. He chuckled to himself at the much cliched saying.
"And I see you have been spending too much time topside, mixing with the humans!" I growled at him in response. Then I realised that my brother was not trying to approach me, which meant he was no longer drawn to my scent, and that meant that the mating had been successful. "I need to go topside myself now to find a host. Do you want to come with me?"
It had been a stupid question as my brother needed little excuse to go topside and amuse himself. We stood together in an elevated corner of a club and surveyed the gyrating figures that thronged the dance floor or shuffled their feet around where they stood. Eventually I pointed to the athletic figure I had chosen to be the host. A reading of the man told me everything I needed to know. He was well aware of how attractive he was to the females in the club and encouraged them to flirt outrageously with him. However, I could also read that back home he had a young wife and two children whom he victimised and bullied. He was strong, fit enough to last for the one week gestation period and his soul would make a nice gift for my father.
It was too easy to ensnare him. Mortal man is easy to seduce, especially when you are armed with the ability to appeal to their base nature but it is always just a game. I had time yet to play so I approached him from the front. Initially making eye contact, giving a small smile and then glancing away and glancing back again. Appealing to the bully in him by appearing to be demure and an easy target to manipulate while feeding his ego by noticing him. He approached me during a slow record and asked me to dance. Confidently leading me onto the floor he enfolded me in his arms, his leg pushed tight between my thighs while he brushed his fingers through my hair and dropped feather like kisses just below my ear and under my jaw. He tried to kiss me full on the mouth but I wasn't quite ready for that and forestalled him by indicating I was eager to leave with him, now.
Once outside the club I gently nudged him into the nearest alleyway and gave him the kiss he had so desired. My spawn, which I carried just below my tongue, flooded into his body with my saliva and found itself a comfortable spot to develop in his stomach. As soon as the spawn was securely attached it released a paralysing agent into the hosts' bloodstream rendering them incapable of anything but thought. At this point I transported us both to the cavern where I had been impregnated, which still contained the demon corpse and a thick layer of dust over the floor, to await the outcome. The eyes of the host were wide open in fear and I could hear his silent screams of horror and confusion as I just smiled at him and left him to his fate.
Exactly one week later I returned to see if the spawn had been successful in growing. The host lay unmoving on the floor of the cavern, barely still alive, but his stomach was hugely distended and movement could be seen through the paper thin flesh. It was still a dangerous time for the spawn as it had to free itself from the host and if it couldn't manage this small task I would end its existence, for only the strongest are allowed to survive. Even as I watched, flames began to engulf the host, burning a way out for the spawn. It was going to be a daughter and she had bred true. Suddenly a cloud of dust smothered the flames and two daughters stood amongst the ashen remains of their host.
So it was, that with a great deal of satisfaction, I collected my twin daughters, Dust and Flame, and took them to meet their grandfather.
Ineedsleep wrote:
>He tried to kiss me full on the mouth but I wasn't quite ready for that
I realise the intent, but that line made me laugh to think of a demon thinking to herself 'Uh, geez, like, calm down already!'
:D
>He tried to kiss me full on the mouth but I wasn't quite ready for that
I realise the intent, but that line made me laugh to think of a demon thinking to herself 'Uh, geez, like, calm down already!'
:D
Ashman - thanks, sorted.
FinalFantasyFanatic wrote:
> I don't really like the "yes, we're evil demons" thingy.
We think alike then. This is the second time I've used 'Satans Daughter' as implied but unspoken as the main character and in neither stories did I think I portrayed her as "evil".
I wanted to give the impression with the closing line that like most daughters she wanted to give her father grandchildren. Just because she can pass her spawn to a host to give birth and they kill the host to be born just shows her as intelligent. One for not bothering with the whole messy pregancy thing and two for not wishing her spawn to kill her.
I also didn't think that choosing a host, who we would consider evil, as being an evil act in itself but an act of compassion for his wife and children.
But as I had to explain that further I guess it didn't work :(
FinalFantasyFanatic wrote:
> I don't really like the "yes, we're evil demons" thingy.
We think alike then. This is the second time I've used 'Satans Daughter' as implied but unspoken as the main character and in neither stories did I think I portrayed her as "evil".
I wanted to give the impression with the closing line that like most daughters she wanted to give her father grandchildren. Just because she can pass her spawn to a host to give birth and they kill the host to be born just shows her as intelligent. One for not bothering with the whole messy pregancy thing and two for not wishing her spawn to kill her.
I also didn't think that choosing a host, who we would consider evil, as being an evil act in itself but an act of compassion for his wife and children.
But as I had to explain that further I guess it didn't work :(
Short and sweet.
But for some reason, I don't really like the "yes, we're evil demons" thingy - it's just never turned me on. Sorry.
But personal bias aside, very well written in a fluid style that was easy (and - more importantly - enjoyable) to read.
But for some reason, I don't really like the "yes, we're evil demons" thingy - it's just never turned me on. Sorry.
But personal bias aside, very well written in a fluid style that was easy (and - more importantly - enjoyable) to read.
Me likes. I really enjoyed the fantasy and fairly dark nature of the piece, the descriptions were very clear, whilst also leaving a lot to the imagination. I think perhaps there was a lack of some appearance descripton, but everything else was sound.
It unfolded brilliantly, and I liked it muchly. I sense FFF will also enjoy it.
Oh, and I thought I'd let you know that you spelt the title wrong at the top of your post (luckily it can be edited).
It unfolded brilliantly, and I liked it muchly. I sense FFF will also enjoy it.
Oh, and I thought I'd let you know that you spelt the title wrong at the top of your post (luckily it can be edited).
Prodigy
I awoke slowly, revelling in the memory of the pleasure I'd enjoyed prior to falling asleep, and opened my eyes to gaze upon the burnt figure who lay beside me. It was always the same when the desire to mate was strong in me. Suitors would be drawn to my scent, always believing that they would be able to withstand the backwash from my desire; for to mate successfully I need to be enshrouded in a living flame which few can survive. The demon, whose corpse now shared my bed, had been successful to a certain degree. He'd had the ability to form dust from the very air and had been able to smother my flame long enough to get close to me. However, at a crucial time his concentration had wavered ever so slightly and my flame had devoured him.
"I see another lover found you too hot to handle" said my brother from the doorway. He chuckled to himself at the much cliched saying.
"And I see you have been spending too much time topside, mixing with the humans!" I growled at him in response. Then I realised that my brother was not trying to approach me, which meant he was no longer drawn to my scent, and that meant that the mating had been successful. "I need to go topside myself now to find a host. Do you want to come with me?"
It had been a stupid question as my brother needed little excuse to go topside and amuse himself. We stood together in an elevated corner of a club and surveyed the gyrating figures that thronged the dance floor or shuffled their feet around where they stood. Eventually I pointed to the athletic figure I had chosen to be the host. A reading of the man told me everything I needed to know. He was well aware of how attractive he was to the females in the club and encouraged them to flirt outrageously with him. However, I could also read that back home he had a young wife and two children whom he victimised and bullied. He was strong, fit enough to last for the one week gestation period and his soul would make a nice gift for my father.
It was too easy to ensnare him. Mortal man is easy to seduce, especially when you are armed with the ability to appeal to their base nature but it is always just a game. I had time yet to play so I approached him from the front. Initially making eye contact, giving a small smile and then glancing away and glancing back again. Appealing to the bully in him by appearing to be demure and an easy target to manipulate while feeding his ego by noticing him. He approached me during a slow record and asked me to dance. Confidently leading me onto the floor he enfolded me in his arms, his leg pushed tight between my thighs while he brushed his fingers through my hair and dropped feather like kisses just below my ear and under my jaw. He tried to kiss me full on the mouth but I wasn't quite ready for that and forestalled him by indicating I was eager to leave with him, now.
Once outside the club I gently nudged him into the nearest alleyway and gave him the kiss he had so desired. My spawn, which I carried just below my tongue, flooded into his body with my saliva and found itself a comfortable spot to develop in his stomach. As soon as the spawn was securely attached it released a paralysing agent into the hosts' bloodstream rendering them incapable of anything but thought. At this point I transported us both to the cavern where I had been impregnated, which still contained the demon corpse and a thick layer of dust over the floor, to await the outcome. The eyes of the host were wide open in fear and I could hear his silent screams of horror and confusion as I just smiled at him and left him to his fate.
Exactly one week later I returned to see if the spawn had been successful in growing. The host lay unmoving on the floor of the cavern, barely still alive, but his stomach was hugely distended and movement could be seen through the paper thin flesh. It was still a dangerous time for the spawn as it had to free itself from the host and if it couldn't manage this small task I would end its existence, for only the strongest are allowed to survive. Even as I watched, flames began to engulf the host, burning a way out for the spawn. It was going to be a daughter and she had bred true. Suddenly a cloud of dust smothered the flames and two daughters stood amongst the ashen remains of their host.
So it was, that with a great deal of satisfaction, I collected my twin daughters, Dust and Flame, and took them to meet their grandfather.
I awoke slowly, revelling in the memory of the pleasure I'd enjoyed prior to falling asleep, and opened my eyes to gaze upon the burnt figure who lay beside me. It was always the same when the desire to mate was strong in me. Suitors would be drawn to my scent, always believing that they would be able to withstand the backwash from my desire; for to mate successfully I need to be enshrouded in a living flame which few can survive. The demon, whose corpse now shared my bed, had been successful to a certain degree. He'd had the ability to form dust from the very air and had been able to smother my flame long enough to get close to me. However, at a crucial time his concentration had wavered ever so slightly and my flame had devoured him.
"I see another lover found you too hot to handle" said my brother from the doorway. He chuckled to himself at the much cliched saying.
"And I see you have been spending too much time topside, mixing with the humans!" I growled at him in response. Then I realised that my brother was not trying to approach me, which meant he was no longer drawn to my scent, and that meant that the mating had been successful. "I need to go topside myself now to find a host. Do you want to come with me?"
It had been a stupid question as my brother needed little excuse to go topside and amuse himself. We stood together in an elevated corner of a club and surveyed the gyrating figures that thronged the dance floor or shuffled their feet around where they stood. Eventually I pointed to the athletic figure I had chosen to be the host. A reading of the man told me everything I needed to know. He was well aware of how attractive he was to the females in the club and encouraged them to flirt outrageously with him. However, I could also read that back home he had a young wife and two children whom he victimised and bullied. He was strong, fit enough to last for the one week gestation period and his soul would make a nice gift for my father.
It was too easy to ensnare him. Mortal man is easy to seduce, especially when you are armed with the ability to appeal to their base nature but it is always just a game. I had time yet to play so I approached him from the front. Initially making eye contact, giving a small smile and then glancing away and glancing back again. Appealing to the bully in him by appearing to be demure and an easy target to manipulate while feeding his ego by noticing him. He approached me during a slow record and asked me to dance. Confidently leading me onto the floor he enfolded me in his arms, his leg pushed tight between my thighs while he brushed his fingers through my hair and dropped feather like kisses just below my ear and under my jaw. He tried to kiss me full on the mouth but I wasn't quite ready for that and forestalled him by indicating I was eager to leave with him, now.
Once outside the club I gently nudged him into the nearest alleyway and gave him the kiss he had so desired. My spawn, which I carried just below my tongue, flooded into his body with my saliva and found itself a comfortable spot to develop in his stomach. As soon as the spawn was securely attached it released a paralysing agent into the hosts' bloodstream rendering them incapable of anything but thought. At this point I transported us both to the cavern where I had been impregnated, which still contained the demon corpse and a thick layer of dust over the floor, to await the outcome. The eyes of the host were wide open in fear and I could hear his silent screams of horror and confusion as I just smiled at him and left him to his fate.
Exactly one week later I returned to see if the spawn had been successful in growing. The host lay unmoving on the floor of the cavern, barely still alive, but his stomach was hugely distended and movement could be seen through the paper thin flesh. It was still a dangerous time for the spawn as it had to free itself from the host and if it couldn't manage this small task I would end its existence, for only the strongest are allowed to survive. Even as I watched, flames began to engulf the host, burning a way out for the spawn. It was going to be a daughter and she had bred true. Suddenly a cloud of dust smothered the flames and two daughters stood amongst the ashen remains of their host.
So it was, that with a great deal of satisfaction, I collected my twin daughters, Dust and Flame, and took them to meet their grandfather.