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It must get really annoying nowdays. Every god you hear of is so righteous and perfect... all goody two shoes the lot of them (well, good to their brown nosing minions atleast) and it sort of gets cliché.
There's always the good guy (like God) and the bad guy (say the Devil), and ones uttermost perfect, the other's uttermost evil.
So it comes as a breath of fresh air when you read the stories of the Greek god's, because despite their "living it up" in the clouds of Mount Olympus, once you get past all the super powers and immortality, it turns out that they're just as human as the rest of us...
Take the beauty contest that Aphrodite, Athena and Hera had Paris of Troy judge. Not only did all three ladies try and cheat (yep, they all piled in with bribes), that when Paris chose Aphrodite (that's Venus for the latin tongued) and her bribe of Helen's hand in marriage, two certain sore losers then continued to assist the Greeks in burning down Troy and killing Paris.
Poor guy... could he have possibly chosen right?
Yeah, you hear all about them in Greek myths, but perhaps there’s one you haven’t heard of. The one that those crazy Olympians DIDN'T want you to hear about, I mean they’d done silly things before but...
It would've started during that phase where they just weren’t happy enough to be the god of a skill or element, or multiple skills and elements for that matter. Nope, nowdays they needed their own patron city too.
It was the latest rage on the top of the clouds. You just couldn't feel immortal without it!
"It looks like Athena got Athens fair and square. Unlucky Poseidon!"
Zeus, being the king of Olympus, was sort of running it although not quite the judge. It was usually up to the townsfolk to choose who to worship as their patron.
"Would anyone like to rub salt in his wounds?"
The poor god of the ocean had lost because his gift to the town, a spring of water, was of salty seawater rather than the fresh water people expected from their springs.
Ever so slightly wound up by Zeus’ little dig, he was impatient to move things on, and to quiet the giggling. They were SO immature up here!
"Alright, what’s the next one?"
Zeus briefly stopped laughing to look at his scroll.
"Pompeii’s up next."
They all went to the edge of the clouds to look down at the city, all wittering on about what they thought of it and the like.
"Aha! Time for a special round!" Zeus continued "It’s Prophecy of Pompeii! Go on Apollo, tell us what you know!"
As you might’ve guessed, Apollo was the god of prophecy.
It wasn’t a big deal but he liked to put on a show.
Closing his eye’s and putting his fingers to his temples, he started to hum and then:
The one who’s wish is Pompeii’s claim
Will do so through dust and flame
"Here we go then!" said Zeus "Dust and Flame it is!"
He sent a lightening bolt down towards Pompeii. It cracked on the ground, kicking up a small cloud of dust and startling a man on the way to his hut. No flame though.
"Hmmmm..." Zeus looked thoughtful for a second and then sent another bolt down, this time hitting the hut and setting it on fire. This time there was plenty of flame, and smoke for that matter, but no dust.
"Back luck Zeus." chuckled Ares as he stepped forward. "My turn now..."
Hades sat in his chair, between two torches. It wasn’t a bad life being the king of the underworld. Ruling the dead was a grim sounding, but actually rather rewarding job, and he had a beautiful wife for six months of the year, but he did miss the sunshine...
His train of thought was interrupted by Hermes, the messenger (complete with those cute winged boots) who also guided the dead to Hades.
The man following Hermes was black all over, and I don’t mean the chocolate coloured black we associate with Africans and Jamaicans, this guy was charcoal black!
"What happened to you?!?"
"L-L-Lightening. A bolt landed near me as I neared my house and another one burned it down."
"Tsk! What did you do to upset Zeus!"
"N-nothing... it just came out of nowhere..."
Hades chuckled and looked at Hermes.
"What did he really do?"
"Erm... err......... nothing..."
"You mean Zeus just fried him for nothing?"
"Well err..." Hermes wasn’t to keen on telling Hades about the city competitions. They’d kept it from him for a reason, him being the god of the dead and all that...
"Is there something you’re trying to hide from me?"
Well, Hermes thought, he was going to find out sooner or later. So he told him.
Hades smiled.
"Really? How interesting..." Hades thought for a second and then,
"Hermes, I don’t suppose you could give Zeus a message from me? Persephone darling, could you watch the gates for me for a while? I have to see someone about a mountain..."
Back on Olympus, the competition was still going. Ares, being the god of war, had sent a gang of bandits to try and stir up some dust and flame. They’d succeeded in setting a building alight, but no dust...
Poseidon tried using a strong gale to blow a storm of dust over Ares’ flaming building, but the wind put out the flames before the effect could be done.
"It’s not as easy as it sounds, is it? Dust and flame? How can you have dust AND flame?"
And that’s when Hermes popped up, with a pale grim face. He silently made his say to Zeus and whispered in his ear. Zeus, with a slightly miffed expression himself, probably not too happy that Hades had found out about the competition, addressed the Olympians.
"It seems that Hades would like to draw everyone’s attention to Mount Vesuvius."
They all looked at each other briefly, and then hooked their attention onto the giant mountain near Pompeii. And then it happened.
Vesuvius exploded.
The peak dissolved into a huge cloud of flame and dust.
This was promptly given a round of applause by the Olympians, Hades managing to solve that which they had been puzzling over, which was then silenced as the huge cloud of ash fell upon Pompeii, covering it and its people in the burning debris.
"The idiot! He’s wrecked his prize town and killed all the people!"
Said the pretty gob-smacked Zeus.
"Come think of it," said Hermes "I think he prefers them that way..."
And sure enough, deep in the Underworld, Hades and Persephone greeted their new arrivals while on the river styx, a rather disgruntled boatman moaned about having to ferry so many people in one night, not seeming to care that his passengers had just all be annihilated by a volcano...
Back on Olympus:
"So, Pompeii goes to Hades!" boomed Zeus, "Next up: Sparta! Famous for its muscular and fearsomely trained soldier! I see that’s gotten your attention Aphrodite! No special rules this round! Just give ‘em what you’ve got! So who’s going first this time?"
Those crazy Olympians!
There's always the good guy (like God) and the bad guy (say the Devil), and ones uttermost perfect, the other's uttermost evil.
So it comes as a breath of fresh air when you read the stories of the Greek god's, because despite their "living it up" in the clouds of Mount Olympus, once you get past all the super powers and immortality, it turns out that they're just as human as the rest of us...
Take the beauty contest that Aphrodite, Athena and Hera had Paris of Troy judge. Not only did all three ladies try and cheat (yep, they all piled in with bribes), that when Paris chose Aphrodite (that's Venus for the latin tongued) and her bribe of Helen's hand in marriage, two certain sore losers then continued to assist the Greeks in burning down Troy and killing Paris.
Poor guy... could he have possibly chosen right?
Yeah, you hear all about them in Greek myths, but perhaps there’s one you haven’t heard of. The one that those crazy Olympians DIDN'T want you to hear about, I mean they’d done silly things before but...
It would've started during that phase where they just weren’t happy enough to be the god of a skill or element, or multiple skills and elements for that matter. Nope, nowdays they needed their own patron city too.
It was the latest rage on the top of the clouds. You just couldn't feel immortal without it!
"It looks like Athena got Athens fair and square. Unlucky Poseidon!"
Zeus, being the king of Olympus, was sort of running it although not quite the judge. It was usually up to the townsfolk to choose who to worship as their patron.
"Would anyone like to rub salt in his wounds?"
The poor god of the ocean had lost because his gift to the town, a spring of water, was of salty seawater rather than the fresh water people expected from their springs.
Ever so slightly wound up by Zeus’ little dig, he was impatient to move things on, and to quiet the giggling. They were SO immature up here!
"Alright, what’s the next one?"
Zeus briefly stopped laughing to look at his scroll.
"Pompeii’s up next."
They all went to the edge of the clouds to look down at the city, all wittering on about what they thought of it and the like.
"Aha! Time for a special round!" Zeus continued "It’s Prophecy of Pompeii! Go on Apollo, tell us what you know!"
As you might’ve guessed, Apollo was the god of prophecy.
It wasn’t a big deal but he liked to put on a show.
Closing his eye’s and putting his fingers to his temples, he started to hum and then:
The one who’s wish is Pompeii’s claim
Will do so through dust and flame
"Here we go then!" said Zeus "Dust and Flame it is!"
He sent a lightening bolt down towards Pompeii. It cracked on the ground, kicking up a small cloud of dust and startling a man on the way to his hut. No flame though.
"Hmmmm..." Zeus looked thoughtful for a second and then sent another bolt down, this time hitting the hut and setting it on fire. This time there was plenty of flame, and smoke for that matter, but no dust.
"Back luck Zeus." chuckled Ares as he stepped forward. "My turn now..."
Hades sat in his chair, between two torches. It wasn’t a bad life being the king of the underworld. Ruling the dead was a grim sounding, but actually rather rewarding job, and he had a beautiful wife for six months of the year, but he did miss the sunshine...
His train of thought was interrupted by Hermes, the messenger (complete with those cute winged boots) who also guided the dead to Hades.
The man following Hermes was black all over, and I don’t mean the chocolate coloured black we associate with Africans and Jamaicans, this guy was charcoal black!
"What happened to you?!?"
"L-L-Lightening. A bolt landed near me as I neared my house and another one burned it down."
"Tsk! What did you do to upset Zeus!"
"N-nothing... it just came out of nowhere..."
Hades chuckled and looked at Hermes.
"What did he really do?"
"Erm... err......... nothing..."
"You mean Zeus just fried him for nothing?"
"Well err..." Hermes wasn’t to keen on telling Hades about the city competitions. They’d kept it from him for a reason, him being the god of the dead and all that...
"Is there something you’re trying to hide from me?"
Well, Hermes thought, he was going to find out sooner or later. So he told him.
Hades smiled.
"Really? How interesting..." Hades thought for a second and then,
"Hermes, I don’t suppose you could give Zeus a message from me? Persephone darling, could you watch the gates for me for a while? I have to see someone about a mountain..."
Back on Olympus, the competition was still going. Ares, being the god of war, had sent a gang of bandits to try and stir up some dust and flame. They’d succeeded in setting a building alight, but no dust...
Poseidon tried using a strong gale to blow a storm of dust over Ares’ flaming building, but the wind put out the flames before the effect could be done.
"It’s not as easy as it sounds, is it? Dust and flame? How can you have dust AND flame?"
And that’s when Hermes popped up, with a pale grim face. He silently made his say to Zeus and whispered in his ear. Zeus, with a slightly miffed expression himself, probably not too happy that Hades had found out about the competition, addressed the Olympians.
"It seems that Hades would like to draw everyone’s attention to Mount Vesuvius."
They all looked at each other briefly, and then hooked their attention onto the giant mountain near Pompeii. And then it happened.
Vesuvius exploded.
The peak dissolved into a huge cloud of flame and dust.
This was promptly given a round of applause by the Olympians, Hades managing to solve that which they had been puzzling over, which was then silenced as the huge cloud of ash fell upon Pompeii, covering it and its people in the burning debris.
"The idiot! He’s wrecked his prize town and killed all the people!"
Said the pretty gob-smacked Zeus.
"Come think of it," said Hermes "I think he prefers them that way..."
And sure enough, deep in the Underworld, Hades and Persephone greeted their new arrivals while on the river styx, a rather disgruntled boatman moaned about having to ferry so many people in one night, not seeming to care that his passengers had just all be annihilated by a volcano...
Back on Olympus:
"So, Pompeii goes to Hades!" boomed Zeus, "Next up: Sparta! Famous for its muscular and fearsomely trained soldier! I see that’s gotten your attention Aphrodite! No special rules this round! Just give ‘em what you’ve got! So who’s going first this time?"
Those crazy Olympians!
AS you said ST, great little story!
Really enjoyed that, nice to read in the morning.
genius
Wonderful. Excellent take on the greek gods.
Ahar. So nice to see a light-hearted story around here - most people are stuck in the sombre. Me inclusive - come to think of it, The Jeebus Chronicles remain unfinished.
Anywho - good stuff, great use of the topic title.
Anywho - good stuff, great use of the topic title.
This will up there come judgement day.
Superb :D You know, I can't remember reading a story of yours since the Fog Story days... but that was awesome, I love the Greek Gods and stuff :D
a brilliant story, well written, and a pleasure to read :)
It must get really annoying nowdays. Every god you hear of is so righteous and perfect... all goody two shoes the lot of them (well, good to their brown nosing minions atleast) and it sort of gets cliché.
There's always the good guy (like God) and the bad guy (say the Devil), and ones uttermost perfect, the other's uttermost evil.
So it comes as a breath of fresh air when you read the stories of the Greek god's, because despite their "living it up" in the clouds of Mount Olympus, once you get past all the super powers and immortality, it turns out that they're just as human as the rest of us...
Take the beauty contest that Aphrodite, Athena and Hera had Paris of Troy judge. Not only did all three ladies try and cheat (yep, they all piled in with bribes), that when Paris chose Aphrodite (that's Venus for the latin tongued) and her bribe of Helen's hand in marriage, two certain sore losers then continued to assist the Greeks in burning down Troy and killing Paris.
Poor guy... could he have possibly chosen right?
Yeah, you hear all about them in Greek myths, but perhaps there’s one you haven’t heard of. The one that those crazy Olympians DIDN'T want you to hear about, I mean they’d done silly things before but...
It would've started during that phase where they just weren’t happy enough to be the god of a skill or element, or multiple skills and elements for that matter. Nope, nowdays they needed their own patron city too.
It was the latest rage on the top of the clouds. You just couldn't feel immortal without it!
"It looks like Athena got Athens fair and square. Unlucky Poseidon!"
Zeus, being the king of Olympus, was sort of running it although not quite the judge. It was usually up to the townsfolk to choose who to worship as their patron.
"Would anyone like to rub salt in his wounds?"
The poor god of the ocean had lost because his gift to the town, a spring of water, was of salty seawater rather than the fresh water people expected from their springs.
Ever so slightly wound up by Zeus’ little dig, he was impatient to move things on, and to quiet the giggling. They were SO immature up here!
"Alright, what’s the next one?"
Zeus briefly stopped laughing to look at his scroll.
"Pompeii’s up next."
They all went to the edge of the clouds to look down at the city, all wittering on about what they thought of it and the like.
"Aha! Time for a special round!" Zeus continued "It’s Prophecy of Pompeii! Go on Apollo, tell us what you know!"
As you might’ve guessed, Apollo was the god of prophecy.
It wasn’t a big deal but he liked to put on a show.
Closing his eye’s and putting his fingers to his temples, he started to hum and then:
The one who’s wish is Pompeii’s claim
Will do so through dust and flame
"Here we go then!" said Zeus "Dust and Flame it is!"
He sent a lightening bolt down towards Pompeii. It cracked on the ground, kicking up a small cloud of dust and startling a man on the way to his hut. No flame though.
"Hmmmm..." Zeus looked thoughtful for a second and then sent another bolt down, this time hitting the hut and setting it on fire. This time there was plenty of flame, and smoke for that matter, but no dust.
"Back luck Zeus." chuckled Ares as he stepped forward. "My turn now..."
Hades sat in his chair, between two torches. It wasn’t a bad life being the king of the underworld. Ruling the dead was a grim sounding, but actually rather rewarding job, and he had a beautiful wife for six months of the year, but he did miss the sunshine...
His train of thought was interrupted by Hermes, the messenger (complete with those cute winged boots) who also guided the dead to Hades.
The man following Hermes was black all over, and I don’t mean the chocolate coloured black we associate with Africans and Jamaicans, this guy was charcoal black!
"What happened to you?!?"
"L-L-Lightening. A bolt landed near me as I neared my house and another one burned it down."
"Tsk! What did you do to upset Zeus!"
"N-nothing... it just came out of nowhere..."
Hades chuckled and looked at Hermes.
"What did he really do?"
"Erm... err......... nothing..."
"You mean Zeus just fried him for nothing?"
"Well err..." Hermes wasn’t to keen on telling Hades about the city competitions. They’d kept it from him for a reason, him being the god of the dead and all that...
"Is there something you’re trying to hide from me?"
Well, Hermes thought, he was going to find out sooner or later. So he told him.
Hades smiled.
"Really? How interesting..." Hades thought for a second and then,
"Hermes, I don’t suppose you could give Zeus a message from me? Persephone darling, could you watch the gates for me for a while? I have to see someone about a mountain..."
Back on Olympus, the competition was still going. Ares, being the god of war, had sent a gang of bandits to try and stir up some dust and flame. They’d succeeded in setting a building alight, but no dust...
Poseidon tried using a strong gale to blow a storm of dust over Ares’ flaming building, but the wind put out the flames before the effect could be done.
"It’s not as easy as it sounds, is it? Dust and flame? How can you have dust AND flame?"
And that’s when Hermes popped up, with a pale grim face. He silently made his say to Zeus and whispered in his ear. Zeus, with a slightly miffed expression himself, probably not too happy that Hades had found out about the competition, addressed the Olympians.
"It seems that Hades would like to draw everyone’s attention to Mount Vesuvius."
They all looked at each other briefly, and then hooked their attention onto the giant mountain near Pompeii. And then it happened.
Vesuvius exploded.
The peak dissolved into a huge cloud of flame and dust.
This was promptly given a round of applause by the Olympians, Hades managing to solve that which they had been puzzling over, which was then silenced as the huge cloud of ash fell upon Pompeii, covering it and its people in the burning debris.
"The idiot! He’s wrecked his prize town and killed all the people!"
Said the pretty gob-smacked Zeus.
"Come think of it," said Hermes "I think he prefers them that way..."
And sure enough, deep in the Underworld, Hades and Persephone greeted their new arrivals while on the river styx, a rather disgruntled boatman moaned about having to ferry so many people in one night, not seeming to care that his passengers had just all be annihilated by a volcano...
Back on Olympus:
"So, Pompeii goes to Hades!" boomed Zeus, "Next up: Sparta! Famous for its muscular and fearsomely trained soldier! I see that’s gotten your attention Aphrodite! No special rules this round! Just give ‘em what you’ve got! So who’s going first this time?"
Those crazy Olympians!
There's always the good guy (like God) and the bad guy (say the Devil), and ones uttermost perfect, the other's uttermost evil.
So it comes as a breath of fresh air when you read the stories of the Greek god's, because despite their "living it up" in the clouds of Mount Olympus, once you get past all the super powers and immortality, it turns out that they're just as human as the rest of us...
Take the beauty contest that Aphrodite, Athena and Hera had Paris of Troy judge. Not only did all three ladies try and cheat (yep, they all piled in with bribes), that when Paris chose Aphrodite (that's Venus for the latin tongued) and her bribe of Helen's hand in marriage, two certain sore losers then continued to assist the Greeks in burning down Troy and killing Paris.
Poor guy... could he have possibly chosen right?
Yeah, you hear all about them in Greek myths, but perhaps there’s one you haven’t heard of. The one that those crazy Olympians DIDN'T want you to hear about, I mean they’d done silly things before but...
It would've started during that phase where they just weren’t happy enough to be the god of a skill or element, or multiple skills and elements for that matter. Nope, nowdays they needed their own patron city too.
It was the latest rage on the top of the clouds. You just couldn't feel immortal without it!
"It looks like Athena got Athens fair and square. Unlucky Poseidon!"
Zeus, being the king of Olympus, was sort of running it although not quite the judge. It was usually up to the townsfolk to choose who to worship as their patron.
"Would anyone like to rub salt in his wounds?"
The poor god of the ocean had lost because his gift to the town, a spring of water, was of salty seawater rather than the fresh water people expected from their springs.
Ever so slightly wound up by Zeus’ little dig, he was impatient to move things on, and to quiet the giggling. They were SO immature up here!
"Alright, what’s the next one?"
Zeus briefly stopped laughing to look at his scroll.
"Pompeii’s up next."
They all went to the edge of the clouds to look down at the city, all wittering on about what they thought of it and the like.
"Aha! Time for a special round!" Zeus continued "It’s Prophecy of Pompeii! Go on Apollo, tell us what you know!"
As you might’ve guessed, Apollo was the god of prophecy.
It wasn’t a big deal but he liked to put on a show.
Closing his eye’s and putting his fingers to his temples, he started to hum and then:
The one who’s wish is Pompeii’s claim
Will do so through dust and flame
"Here we go then!" said Zeus "Dust and Flame it is!"
He sent a lightening bolt down towards Pompeii. It cracked on the ground, kicking up a small cloud of dust and startling a man on the way to his hut. No flame though.
"Hmmmm..." Zeus looked thoughtful for a second and then sent another bolt down, this time hitting the hut and setting it on fire. This time there was plenty of flame, and smoke for that matter, but no dust.
"Back luck Zeus." chuckled Ares as he stepped forward. "My turn now..."
Hades sat in his chair, between two torches. It wasn’t a bad life being the king of the underworld. Ruling the dead was a grim sounding, but actually rather rewarding job, and he had a beautiful wife for six months of the year, but he did miss the sunshine...
His train of thought was interrupted by Hermes, the messenger (complete with those cute winged boots) who also guided the dead to Hades.
The man following Hermes was black all over, and I don’t mean the chocolate coloured black we associate with Africans and Jamaicans, this guy was charcoal black!
"What happened to you?!?"
"L-L-Lightening. A bolt landed near me as I neared my house and another one burned it down."
"Tsk! What did you do to upset Zeus!"
"N-nothing... it just came out of nowhere..."
Hades chuckled and looked at Hermes.
"What did he really do?"
"Erm... err......... nothing..."
"You mean Zeus just fried him for nothing?"
"Well err..." Hermes wasn’t to keen on telling Hades about the city competitions. They’d kept it from him for a reason, him being the god of the dead and all that...
"Is there something you’re trying to hide from me?"
Well, Hermes thought, he was going to find out sooner or later. So he told him.
Hades smiled.
"Really? How interesting..." Hades thought for a second and then,
"Hermes, I don’t suppose you could give Zeus a message from me? Persephone darling, could you watch the gates for me for a while? I have to see someone about a mountain..."
Back on Olympus, the competition was still going. Ares, being the god of war, had sent a gang of bandits to try and stir up some dust and flame. They’d succeeded in setting a building alight, but no dust...
Poseidon tried using a strong gale to blow a storm of dust over Ares’ flaming building, but the wind put out the flames before the effect could be done.
"It’s not as easy as it sounds, is it? Dust and flame? How can you have dust AND flame?"
And that’s when Hermes popped up, with a pale grim face. He silently made his say to Zeus and whispered in his ear. Zeus, with a slightly miffed expression himself, probably not too happy that Hades had found out about the competition, addressed the Olympians.
"It seems that Hades would like to draw everyone’s attention to Mount Vesuvius."
They all looked at each other briefly, and then hooked their attention onto the giant mountain near Pompeii. And then it happened.
Vesuvius exploded.
The peak dissolved into a huge cloud of flame and dust.
This was promptly given a round of applause by the Olympians, Hades managing to solve that which they had been puzzling over, which was then silenced as the huge cloud of ash fell upon Pompeii, covering it and its people in the burning debris.
"The idiot! He’s wrecked his prize town and killed all the people!"
Said the pretty gob-smacked Zeus.
"Come think of it," said Hermes "I think he prefers them that way..."
And sure enough, deep in the Underworld, Hades and Persephone greeted their new arrivals while on the river styx, a rather disgruntled boatman moaned about having to ferry so many people in one night, not seeming to care that his passengers had just all be annihilated by a volcano...
Back on Olympus:
"So, Pompeii goes to Hades!" boomed Zeus, "Next up: Sparta! Famous for its muscular and fearsomely trained soldier! I see that’s gotten your attention Aphrodite! No special rules this round! Just give ‘em what you’ve got! So who’s going first this time?"
Those crazy Olympians!