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"My slowkarting skills are phenonemonemoenmal"

I went Gokarting on the weekend and expected that my natural brilliance would overcome my propensity to crash into things. So I developed a cunning plan that saw me drive slower than everyone else and spin wildly, before crashing many times. I have tree trunk legs (like a Russian powerlifter) and could hardly get them under the steering wheel, so my slow racing was coupled with extreme uncomfort and I could hardly keep myself from accidentaly jamming both the accelerator and brakes pedals with my feet. My team came last.

I rocked.

Timmargh wrote:
> If you'd worn the helmet with antlers on as I suggested, no-one
> would've overtaken you out of respect.

Hah hah

If you'd worn the helmet with antlers on as I suggested, no-one would've overtaken you out of respect.

I went once. Like Nash, I hit the brakes every five seconds, hence my also jolting. But, at the same time, I veered into a tree, then had to be pulled out, and then I was all over the place, before I skidded over the dirt bit in the middle, hit my friend who was in the lead on the other side of the track, before being spun back onto the dirt. All the while laughing and crying.

I was 6.

John Nash wrote:
> Slowkarting. Yes. I'm the victor at that too.
> The last time I went gokarting I got so unused to the speed, that as
> soon as I pressed the pedal down for more than a second, I slammed on
> the brakes. Multiply this continually throughout the race, and you
> get Nash-boy jolting his head backwards and forwards up and down the
> track at, quite literally, braking neck speeds.

ahahahahahahaha

Damarus wrote:
> :P
>
> So the tips I gave you weren't very good then? Or are you just
> naturally crap at it?

Crap, but brilliantly crap. The tips were good it's just how I "interpreted" them that was the issue. On the plus side my pit stops were good as I had coming to an abrupt stop down to a fine art. Some of the other teams' drivers were taking it all a bit too seriously and zooming into the pit, skidding to a halt, leaping out and changing drivers and then the person who'd just got out pushing the kart screaming "go, go, go!" like a demented Murray Walker on anthetamins.

Me and my colleague were all "amble out of Kart, after discussion whether to keep on going for a bit longer, then maybe get into the Kart and tootle off for a bit".

Oh I did undertake the entire race blindfolded which I forgot to mention. At one point the person behind me said "the force is strong with this one", which is remarkable as we were all wearing helmets and the noise of the Gokarts was overwhleming.

I rocked.

John Nash wrote:
> Slowkarting. Yes. I'm the victor at that too.
> The last time I went gokarting I got so unused to the speed, that as
> soon as I pressed the pedal down for more than a second, I slammed on
> the brakes. Multiply this continually throughout the race, and you
> get Nash-boy jolting his head backwards and forwards up and down the
> track at, quite literally, braking neck speeds.

LOL

Slowkarting. Yes. I'm the victor at that too.
The last time I went gokarting I got so unused to the speed, that as soon as I pressed the pedal down for more than a second, I slammed on the brakes. Multiply this continually throughout the race, and you get Nash-boy jolting his head backwards and forwards up and down the track at, quite literally, braking neck speeds.

:P

So the tips I gave you weren't very good then? Or are you just naturally crap at it?

I went Gokarting on the weekend and expected that my natural brilliance would overcome my propensity to crash into things. So I developed a cunning plan that saw me drive slower than everyone else and spin wildly, before crashing many times. I have tree trunk legs (like a Russian powerlifter) and could hardly get them under the steering wheel, so my slow racing was coupled with extreme uncomfort and I could hardly keep myself from accidentaly jamming both the accelerator and brakes pedals with my feet. My team came last.

I rocked.