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More letters from viz :
"How come the rap artist Dr. Dre can use the 'N' word on his multi-million selling albums, and win a MOBO award, yet when I used it at my sons football match, I was asked to leave the park? Once again, it's one law for the rich and another law for the poor."
"Yesterday at work I spotted a lad who I used to bully in my class at school. Just for old times sake, I followed him to the toilets, flushed his head down the pan and scattered the contents of his briefcase over the floor. True to form, the four-eyed sh*tty pants ran straight back to the boardroom and told the managing director on me. Some peoples lives never move on, do they?"
"One pound a week will supply water for an entire village in Tanzania, says Oxfam. So how come united utilities charge me twenty pounds a month for my three bedroom semi? fleecing b***ards."
"Spider-Man, Spider-Man, does whatever a spider can!. So went the lyrics to the 70s cartoon. Does this include lying on his back lamely waving his shattered limbs in the air after being pulverised by a rolled up newspaper, like the big hairy bast that just tried to run across my carpet?"
"Has anyone ever noticed that when a young person dies in a tragic accident, they're always described as bright, popular and with a great future ahead of them. As a fairly dull person, with little ambition and few friends I certainly feel a lot safer."
"Why don't Armitage Shanks or Twyfords or whoever, consider marketing a taller lavatory bowl, for those who appreciate a more satisfying plop."
Are they funny? you tell me. I'll laugh at anything. Oh look, a dog with a puffy tail *maniacal laughter*....
"How come the rap artist Dr. Dre can use the 'N' word on his multi-million selling albums, and win a MOBO award, yet when I used it at my sons football match, I was asked to leave the park? Once again, it's one law for the rich and another law for the poor."
"Yesterday at work I spotted a lad who I used to bully in my class at school. Just for old times sake, I followed him to the toilets, flushed his head down the pan and scattered the contents of his briefcase over the floor. True to form, the four-eyed sh*tty pants ran straight back to the boardroom and told the managing director on me. Some peoples lives never move on, do they?"
"One pound a week will supply water for an entire village in Tanzania, says Oxfam. So how come united utilities charge me twenty pounds a month for my three bedroom semi? fleecing b***ards."
"Spider-Man, Spider-Man, does whatever a spider can!. So went the lyrics to the 70s cartoon. Does this include lying on his back lamely waving his shattered limbs in the air after being pulverised by a rolled up newspaper, like the big hairy bast that just tried to run across my carpet?"
"Has anyone ever noticed that when a young person dies in a tragic accident, they're always described as bright, popular and with a great future ahead of them. As a fairly dull person, with little ambition and few friends I certainly feel a lot safer."
"Why don't Armitage Shanks or Twyfords or whoever, consider marketing a taller lavatory bowl, for those who appreciate a more satisfying plop."
Are they funny? you tell me. I'll laugh at anything. Oh look, a dog with a puffy tail *maniacal laughter*....
"My girlfriend doesn't mind when I fart in bed. It's when I follow through that the petty arguements start ..."
"Glue a teacup to the parcel shelf of your car and then place a teaspoon in it for a handy road surface severity indicator."
"Don't answer your door: it may be burglars."
"Don't answer your door: it may be burglars."
They are class.
I love you.
I love you.
They are indeed amusing.
Some are excellent, but as with most Viz stuff, you risk saturation if you read loads in a sitting.
Rogers Profanisaurus is a work of genius, although they've created a monster with it.
Rogers Profanisaurus is a work of genius, although they've created a monster with it.
More letters from viz :
"How come the rap artist Dr. Dre can use the 'N' word on his multi-million selling albums, and win a MOBO award, yet when I used it at my sons football match, I was asked to leave the park? Once again, it's one law for the rich and another law for the poor."
"Yesterday at work I spotted a lad who I used to bully in my class at school. Just for old times sake, I followed him to the toilets, flushed his head down the pan and scattered the contents of his briefcase over the floor. True to form, the four-eyed sh*tty pants ran straight back to the boardroom and told the managing director on me. Some peoples lives never move on, do they?"
"One pound a week will supply water for an entire village in Tanzania, says Oxfam. So how come united utilities charge me twenty pounds a month for my three bedroom semi? fleecing b***ards."
"Spider-Man, Spider-Man, does whatever a spider can!. So went the lyrics to the 70s cartoon. Does this include lying on his back lamely waving his shattered limbs in the air after being pulverised by a rolled up newspaper, like the big hairy bast that just tried to run across my carpet?"
"Has anyone ever noticed that when a young person dies in a tragic accident, they're always described as bright, popular and with a great future ahead of them. As a fairly dull person, with little ambition and few friends I certainly feel a lot safer."
"Why don't Armitage Shanks or Twyfords or whoever, consider marketing a taller lavatory bowl, for those who appreciate a more satisfying plop."
Are they funny? you tell me. I'll laugh at anything. Oh look, a dog with a puffy tail *maniacal laughter*....
"How come the rap artist Dr. Dre can use the 'N' word on his multi-million selling albums, and win a MOBO award, yet when I used it at my sons football match, I was asked to leave the park? Once again, it's one law for the rich and another law for the poor."
"Yesterday at work I spotted a lad who I used to bully in my class at school. Just for old times sake, I followed him to the toilets, flushed his head down the pan and scattered the contents of his briefcase over the floor. True to form, the four-eyed sh*tty pants ran straight back to the boardroom and told the managing director on me. Some peoples lives never move on, do they?"
"One pound a week will supply water for an entire village in Tanzania, says Oxfam. So how come united utilities charge me twenty pounds a month for my three bedroom semi? fleecing b***ards."
"Spider-Man, Spider-Man, does whatever a spider can!. So went the lyrics to the 70s cartoon. Does this include lying on his back lamely waving his shattered limbs in the air after being pulverised by a rolled up newspaper, like the big hairy bast that just tried to run across my carpet?"
"Has anyone ever noticed that when a young person dies in a tragic accident, they're always described as bright, popular and with a great future ahead of them. As a fairly dull person, with little ambition and few friends I certainly feel a lot safer."
"Why don't Armitage Shanks or Twyfords or whoever, consider marketing a taller lavatory bowl, for those who appreciate a more satisfying plop."
Are they funny? you tell me. I'll laugh at anything. Oh look, a dog with a puffy tail *maniacal laughter*....