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John, Rick and Tim are best friends; they always had been since first year. They did everything and anything together. Now they are travelling through Australia and currently in the outback of Australia, travelling and totally enjoying life to the full, before they get started on work.
* * *
“ARGHH, NO!” Tim cried as the masked man, who had a ‘M’ engraved on the forehead of the mask, was coming closer and closer towards him and a hand touched his face, “Get off me . . .” Suddenly Tim was jolted and he realised that he was in the back of the van, being driven somewhere. Tim rubbed his eyes and sat up and saw his friend, John, sat across from him. “You fell asleep back in the last village’s little pub, so me and Rick carried into the here as we thought you needed a nice, long rest. Didn’t seem that nice though as you were shouting like something was coming towards you, to kill you; well that was until we went over a rock in the road.” Tim now sat upright and replied to John “It was m-my dream . . . t-the . . .” John was just staring at Tim and looked like he was in no-man’s land and wasn’t interested so Tim just shut up.
There was a long silence which was finally broken by Tim when he asked “So then, where are we actually going?” He originally directed the question at John but he was dropping off asleep so he looked forward at Rick who said “To the next village, about 3 more miles following this road to the next village. Now that I think of it I have been driving for absolutely ages, so it’s your go.” Rick pulled over to the side of the road and hopped out of the driver’s seat and went round to the back, he opened the door and Tim got up and made his way out. While he was doing so he said “It’s supposed to be John’s go now but I’ll let him off seen as though he is having a rest, but he can have a double go next time.” Tim got out of the van, got in to the driver’s seat and drove on. When the three arrived at the next village it was almost time for tea, so Tim parked the van up and they made their way to the nearest pub, got themselves a room to stay a few nights and went and had a pint.
The next morning, the three woke up and got their things together and set off walking to the museum. When they got there it did not seem like a museum but just a little hut, “Well what did you two expect; it is the outback” said Rick as he could see the other two were a little bit puzzled. They stepped inside the hut and saw one room full of any thing that has been in the tiny village, and then there was one other smaller room for souvenirs! The three walked around the museum and there was not really any thing interesting to see, apart from when they got round to a certain old wooden mask and what looked like two bites taken out of it where someone’s ears would go and two bits cut out for the eyes to see through and mouth and nostril holes to breath through.
At seeing this Tim said “That’s odd,” both John and Rick turned and looked at Tim in an odd way as in saying he was mad but Tim continued to say “this is the mask which the person that was coming to attack me with in my dream, but without an ‘M’ on the forehead, and, it touched my face, do you know the dream where you said I was shouting in the van.” John and Rick really looked freaked out and back away, ending up in a run going in to the souvenir shop. Tim then went home with out bothering waiting for John and Rick.
Later that night, when John and Rick arrived back to where they were staying, they entered the room with a few gifts and Tim was in the room day dreaming, which was stopped when Rick said excitedly “Look what I got from the souvenir shop . . . A pencil, a sharpener, a rubber and a note book all for 99p!”
“And look,” said John even more excitedly “I got me a big meaty badge for £1.20 and with that you got a free clicky pen!” John starts continuously clicking his pen up and down. Tim still had not said any thing but John and Rick were so obsessed with what they had bought, they were always like that when it came down to need less souvenir shop, car boot sale sort of items.
“Tell you what Rick,” said John.
“What?” answered Rick.
“If I let you wear my badge for the rest of the night could you give me a couple of pages out of your note book to draw on with my pen?” Tim had had enough of this and he started to walk out, but was stopped by John who asked “What’s up Tim? You don’t look right good.”
“It’s just a headache,” replied Tim “I’m just going out for some fresh air.” Tim then continued to exit from their room then out of the pub. The headache seemed to be getting worse for him as outside the pub door he held his head in his hands in absolute agony.
The morning after John and Rick awoke in their room and saw that Tim wasn’t there. Both John and Rick were a little confused and when they went down stairs into the pub for their breakfast they saw Tim laid out on a table sleeping and John said “So that is where he actually was all of last night; downing ‘some’ ales.”
Later that day, when Tim had awoke, the three got the daily paper from the local and the main heading wrote ‘Museum Mask Stolen!’ Tim was absolutely freaked out, but luckily for him John and Rick didn’t notice him. Also they did not notice that Tim had slipped away from then and gone for a walk by him self. John and Rick thought he just went to the toilet or some thing, but Tim did not return until 3 o’clock in the morning, which woke up John and Rick, who were too tired to do or say any thing.
Later that day when they all fully woke up they got another paper and that days main headline was ‘Two People Killed Last Night!’ and further down the page it said that there may be a mad villain on the loose and the night before the mask was stolen. John, Rick and Tim were now starting to get scared.
When that day became night John, Rick and Tim went out for a walk about to see if they could pull any girls, but as they were almost half way down the street Tim needed a pee, so he went away behind a bush to go. John and Rick thought that Tim was taking his time so they went behind the bush where he was supposed to be having a pee, but he was not there. John and Rick did not look too comfortable, then “ARGH!” Shouted Tim coming out from behind a bush to scare John and Rick and he was now laughing his head off. But John and Rick did not seem too impressed.
Rick then got a torch out, as he was carrying a torch as there were hardly any street lights so it was for safety, and he shone it in Tim’s face. “What the?” said Tim surprised by the bright light. Not John and Rick were having a little chuckle and Tim was starting to get angry. Rick was just about to say some thing but never got the chance to as Tim knocked the torch out of his hands and said angrily “Get that bright light out of my face, what are you trying to do blind me?!”
John and Rick hesitated and were then going to apologise but were cut off when Tim looked like he was going to throw up and suddenly he stood up straight and gave to big pinches, one with either hand, to John and Rick! They both collapsed straight to the floor and both laid dead!
Tim looked forward and saw in a mirror, where a window would be, and he saw that he had the mask on that he saw in the museum. Tim now had a different mind, not his normal self, but him masked but with evil eye looking out of the mask. He did not care he just turned away and started running down the street to kill some more victims.
On his way down the road he bumped in to some one, some one big and strong, who almost knocked Tim to the floor. “Who the?” said Tim standing up straight. He looked up and saw another man, who was a lot bigger than most guys and saw that he also was wearing a mask and it had and M on his forehead. The guy did not reply to him, but just pulled him under a street light. Tim was now like he was before, but the other guy stayed the same.
“Do you remember what you have just done in the mask?” Tim nodded not wanting to say anything. “Good as you should do, but don’t know why and what you are doing it for at the time.” Tim was now getting confused and then asked the guy “W – who are you?”
“Why the Marvellous Markopan of course, but Mr. Markopan to you!” said Markopan, “but what do you think I am?”
“T – The guy from my dream?” replied Tim.
“Well yes that’s is how you got your mask, when I touched your face in your dream and that is what made you steal the mask from the museum and put it on and become one of us . . . But what I am is the leader of the masked men, that is why you can always see my mask, who are dotted all around the outback, wipe out every one, and soon we shall be around all of Australia, then the world!”
“W – Why me . . . I mean as a masked man, why was I chosen?”
“Because I choose people that are strong minded and can carry the weight of the mask, like you and they do not come around very often. This has been the tradition for years.”
“I just realised, you just made me kill my two best friends, stuff you!” Tim started walking away and his mask re-appeared, and after a few steps some one came near walking the other way and he just gave then a big flick and they went flying off in to the sky.
Tim carried on walking, but stopped as Markopan shouted to him and Tim wanted to hear it “Just so you know, the mask is always on but it only shows at night and that makes you evil, you’re almost normal during the day!” Tim was going to carry on walking but waited and thought to him self ‘he aint no leader, he made me kill my friends, he’s a dead man and soon I will become leader’, so Tim turned back around went up to Markopan, who was now out of the light and smacked him one in the face!
“ARGH!” shouted Tim as all his bones in his right hand shattered. “You can’t kill someone who is better than you,” said Markopan in an angry voice “a masked man only gets one chance and that was yours so now you shall pay!”
Markopan reached forward grabbed Tim’s mask and said “Now you shall die, the only way a masked man can!” and with that Markopan pulled off Tim’s mask, and Tim fell to the floor absolutely screaming in pain and with no facial features, his face just full of blood.
Markopan walked away and muttered to him self “I knew my masks gave people power to annihilate the mortal form, but not give people total stupidity.”
John, Rick and Tim are best friends; they always had been since first year. They did everything and anything together. Now they are travelling through Australia and currently in the outback of Australia, travelling and totally enjoying life to the full, before they get started on work.
* * *
“ARGHH, NO!” Tim cried as the masked man, who had a ‘M’ engraved on the forehead of the mask, was coming closer and closer towards him and a hand touched his face, “Get off me . . .” Suddenly Tim was jolted and he realised that he was in the back of the van, being driven somewhere. Tim rubbed his eyes and sat up and saw his friend, John, sat across from him. “You fell asleep back in the last village’s little pub, so me and Rick carried into the here as we thought you needed a nice, long rest. Didn’t seem that nice though as you were shouting like something was coming towards you, to kill you; well that was until we went over a rock in the road.” Tim now sat upright and replied to John “It was m-my dream . . . t-the . . .” John was just staring at Tim and looked like he was in no-man’s land and wasn’t interested so Tim just shut up.
There was a long silence which was finally broken by Tim when he asked “So then, where are we actually going?” He originally directed the question at John but he was dropping off asleep so he looked forward at Rick who said “To the next village, about 3 more miles following this road to the next village. Now that I think of it I have been driving for absolutely ages, so it’s your go.” Rick pulled over to the side of the road and hopped out of the driver’s seat and went round to the back, he opened the door and Tim got up and made his way out. While he was doing so he said “It’s supposed to be John’s go now but I’ll let him off seen as though he is having a rest, but he can have a double go next time.” Tim got out of the van, got in to the driver’s seat and drove on. When the three arrived at the next village it was almost time for tea, so Tim parked the van up and they made their way to the nearest pub, got themselves a room to stay a few nights and went and had a pint.
The next morning, the three woke up and got their things together and set off walking to the museum. When they got there it did not seem like a museum but just a little hut, “Well what did you two expect; it is the outback” said Rick as he could see the other two were a little bit puzzled. They stepped inside the hut and saw one room full of any thing that has been in the tiny village, and then there was one other smaller room for souvenirs! The three walked around the museum and there was not really any thing interesting to see, apart from when they got round to a certain old wooden mask and what looked like two bites taken out of it where someone’s ears would go and two bits cut out for the eyes to see through and mouth and nostril holes to breath through.
At seeing this Tim said “That’s odd,” both John and Rick turned and looked at Tim in an odd way as in saying he was mad but Tim continued to say “this is the mask which the person that was coming to attack me with in my dream, but without an ‘M’ on the forehead, and, it touched my face, do you know the dream where you said I was shouting in the van.” John and Rick really looked freaked out and back away, ending up in a run going in to the souvenir shop. Tim then went home with out bothering waiting for John and Rick.
Later that night, when John and Rick arrived back to where they were staying, they entered the room with a few gifts and Tim was in the room day dreaming, which was stopped when Rick said excitedly “Look what I got from the souvenir shop . . . A pencil, a sharpener, a rubber and a note book all for 99p!”
“And look,” said John even more excitedly “I got me a big meaty badge for £1.20 and with that you got a free clicky pen!” John starts continuously clicking his pen up and down. Tim still had not said any thing but John and Rick were so obsessed with what they had bought, they were always like that when it came down to need less souvenir shop, car boot sale sort of items.
“Tell you what Rick,” said John.
“What?” answered Rick.
“If I let you wear my badge for the rest of the night could you give me a couple of pages out of your note book to draw on with my pen?” Tim had had enough of this and he started to walk out, but was stopped by John who asked “What’s up Tim? You don’t look right good.”
“It’s just a headache,” replied Tim “I’m just going out for some fresh air.” Tim then continued to exit from their room then out of the pub. The headache seemed to be getting worse for him as outside the pub door he held his head in his hands in absolute agony.
The morning after John and Rick awoke in their room and saw that Tim wasn’t there. Both John and Rick were a little confused and when they went down stairs into the pub for their breakfast they saw Tim laid out on a table sleeping and John said “So that is where he actually was all of last night; downing ‘some’ ales.”
Later that day, when Tim had awoke, the three got the daily paper from the local and the main heading wrote ‘Museum Mask Stolen!’ Tim was absolutely freaked out, but luckily for him John and Rick didn’t notice him. Also they did not notice that Tim had slipped away from then and gone for a walk by him self. John and Rick thought he just went to the toilet or some thing, but Tim did not return until 3 o’clock in the morning, which woke up John and Rick, who were too tired to do or say any thing.
Later that day when they all fully woke up they got another paper and that days main headline was ‘Two People Killed Last Night!’ and further down the page it said that there may be a mad villain on the loose and the night before the mask was stolen. John, Rick and Tim were now starting to get scared.
When that day became night John, Rick and Tim went out for a walk about to see if they could pull any girls, but as they were almost half way down the street Tim needed a pee, so he went away behind a bush to go. John and Rick thought that Tim was taking his time so they went behind the bush where he was supposed to be having a pee, but he was not there. John and Rick did not look too comfortable, then “ARGH!” Shouted Tim coming out from behind a bush to scare John and Rick and he was now laughing his head off. But John and Rick did not seem too impressed.
Rick then got a torch out, as he was carrying a torch as there were hardly any street lights so it was for safety, and he shone it in Tim’s face. “What the?” said Tim surprised by the bright light. Not John and Rick were having a little chuckle and Tim was starting to get angry. Rick was just about to say some thing but never got the chance to as Tim knocked the torch out of his hands and said angrily “Get that bright light out of my face, what are you trying to do blind me?!”
John and Rick hesitated and were then going to apologise but were cut off when Tim looked like he was going to throw up and suddenly he stood up straight and gave to big pinches, one with either hand, to John and Rick! They both collapsed straight to the floor and both laid dead!
Tim looked forward and saw in a mirror, where a window would be, and he saw that he had the mask on that he saw in the museum. Tim now had a different mind, not his normal self, but him masked but with evil eye looking out of the mask. He did not care he just turned away and started running down the street to kill some more victims.
On his way down the road he bumped in to some one, some one big and strong, who almost knocked Tim to the floor. “Who the?” said Tim standing up straight. He looked up and saw another man, who was a lot bigger than most guys and saw that he also was wearing a mask and it had and M on his forehead. The guy did not reply to him, but just pulled him under a street light. Tim was now like he was before, but the other guy stayed the same.
“Do you remember what you have just done in the mask?” Tim nodded not wanting to say anything. “Good as you should do, but don’t know why and what you are doing it for at the time.” Tim was now getting confused and then asked the guy “W – who are you?”
“Why the Marvellous Markopan of course, but Mr. Markopan to you!” said Markopan, “but what do you think I am?”
“T – The guy from my dream?” replied Tim.
“Well yes that’s is how you got your mask, when I touched your face in your dream and that is what made you steal the mask from the museum and put it on and become one of us . . . But what I am is the leader of the masked men, that is why you can always see my mask, who are dotted all around the outback, wipe out every one, and soon we shall be around all of Australia, then the world!”
“W – Why me . . . I mean as a masked man, why was I chosen?”
“Because I choose people that are strong minded and can carry the weight of the mask, like you and they do not come around very often. This has been the tradition for years.”
“I just realised, you just made me kill my two best friends, stuff you!” Tim started walking away and his mask re-appeared, and after a few steps some one came near walking the other way and he just gave then a big flick and they went flying off in to the sky.
Tim carried on walking, but stopped as Markopan shouted to him and Tim wanted to hear it “Just so you know, the mask is always on but it only shows at night and that makes you evil, you’re almost normal during the day!” Tim was going to carry on walking but waited and thought to him self ‘he aint no leader, he made me kill my friends, he’s a dead man and soon I will become leader’, so Tim turned back around went up to Markopan, who was now out of the light and smacked him one in the face!
“ARGH!” shouted Tim as all his bones in his right hand shattered. “You can’t kill someone who is better than you,” said Markopan in an angry voice “a masked man only gets one chance and that was yours so now you shall pay!”
Markopan reached forward grabbed Tim’s mask and said “Now you shall die, the only way a masked man can!” and with that Markopan pulled off Tim’s mask, and Tim fell to the floor absolutely screaming in pain and with no facial features, his face just full of blood.
Markopan walked away and muttered to him self “I knew my masks gave people power to annihilate the mortal form, but not give people total stupidity.”
Like Para said however, you are only 13 (right?), so as your writing talent progresses, little areas of your writing will blossom. Oh, and I liked the ending.
Just keep at it, extremely promising.
Meh.
It actually works as a sentence if you put a comma after "excessive".
Otherwise, it should be "excessively".