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Walk.
Very.
Slowly.
To the off-license.
*attempting plan 'shrivel and die' phase 1*
...
*plan aborted, eating wotsits*
I'd love to be a whale. You can blow your hole whenever you like, and people even pay to watch.
What a life.
Not a blue whale, mind, because people keep trying to swim down your blood vessels.
...
There was something else.
Meh.
I'll edit it in later.
Very.
Slowly.
To the off-license.
*attempting plan 'shrivel and die' phase 1*
...
*plan aborted, eating wotsits*
I'd love to be a whale. You can blow your hole whenever you like, and people even pay to watch.
What a life.
Not a blue whale, mind, because people keep trying to swim down your blood vessels.
...
There was something else.
Meh.
I'll edit it in later.
*weeping sting solo*
#My flags stopped clanging long ago....
#My flags stopped clanging long ago....
... and then your flaps clang back into place.
The best bit is when the package slides in nice and tight.
Filming the postman putting things into your slot?
That was the plan.
Sadly, my only camera was set-up under the letter-box.
Sadly, my only camera was set-up under the letter-box.
That story would make a good mini-drama series for the Hallmark channel.
Sperm whales are false advertising.
Some guy off e-bay got some seriously bad feedback from me after that mishap.
They're not - whatever anyone tries to tell you - pocket-sized either.
Nor will they 'interact happily with the existing creatures in your aquarium'
Never again.
Some guy off e-bay got some seriously bad feedback from me after that mishap.
They're not - whatever anyone tries to tell you - pocket-sized either.
Nor will they 'interact happily with the existing creatures in your aquarium'
Never again.
A sperm whale?
Walk.
Very.
Slowly.
To the off-license.
*attempting plan 'shrivel and die' phase 1*
...
*plan aborted, eating wotsits*
I'd love to be a whale. You can blow your hole whenever you like, and people even pay to watch.
What a life.
Not a blue whale, mind, because people keep trying to swim down your blood vessels.
...
There was something else.
Meh.
I'll edit it in later.
Very.
Slowly.
To the off-license.
*attempting plan 'shrivel and die' phase 1*
...
*plan aborted, eating wotsits*
I'd love to be a whale. You can blow your hole whenever you like, and people even pay to watch.
What a life.
Not a blue whale, mind, because people keep trying to swim down your blood vessels.
...
There was something else.
Meh.
I'll edit it in later.