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Recently deceased former American president and movie star Ronald Reagan has been spotted alive and well in a Hooters bar in California. He was seen tucking dollar bills into a waitress’s sparkly thong and later hosing her down in the wet T-shirt contest.
Zombie Expert, Dawnova Dead, believes Reagan has returned from the dead the feast on the brains of the living and indulge in general scalp-tearing mischief throughout the state. California locals spotted Reagan walking the streets drooling slightly and muttering about eating brains and entrails. He was later spotted in a McDonalds looking particularly satisfied.
The governor of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger, commented that zombie Reagan was too much of a threat to the city and he would have to be neutralised. He had to end the press conference early but assured us ‘he’d be back’.
A crack team of television stars have been assembled to deal with zombie Reagan. Australian crocodile wrestler and general chump Steve Irwin was named as the man leading the hunt. He said earlier that zombie Reagan “can be considered very lethal and could strike at any time” and also assured us “he’s a beauty!” Actor Jean Reno agreed to “clean” zombie Reagan using nothing but a woolly hat, a pot plant and Natalie Portman. Other stars that have joined the attempt to stop Reagan’s rampage include Martin Clunes who will presumably use his ears as some sort of scoop; Samuel L Jackson due to the fact he is in everything, and Gordon Ramsey who will use his man-breasts, anger displacement and a wooden spoon to beat Regan into a nice casserole.
The report was filed by the same white spirit swilling crack head that told the world Bill Gates climbed a clock tower with a rifle and that Marilyn Monroe was locked in Mel Gibson’s cellar. Experts have branded this post "tasteless" and "too soon to be funny". The hunt for Reagan continues.
Zombie Expert, Dawnova Dead, believes Reagan has returned from the dead the feast on the brains of the living and indulge in general scalp-tearing mischief throughout the state. California locals spotted Reagan walking the streets drooling slightly and muttering about eating brains and entrails. He was later spotted in a McDonalds looking particularly satisfied.
The governor of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger, commented that zombie Reagan was too much of a threat to the city and he would have to be neutralised. He had to end the press conference early but assured us ‘he’d be back’.
A crack team of television stars have been assembled to deal with zombie Reagan. Australian crocodile wrestler and general chump Steve Irwin was named as the man leading the hunt. He said earlier that zombie Reagan “can be considered very lethal and could strike at any time” and also assured us “he’s a beauty!” Actor Jean Reno agreed to “clean” zombie Reagan using nothing but a woolly hat, a pot plant and Natalie Portman. Other stars that have joined the attempt to stop Reagan’s rampage include Martin Clunes who will presumably use his ears as some sort of scoop; Samuel L Jackson due to the fact he is in everything, and Gordon Ramsey who will use his man-breasts, anger displacement and a wooden spoon to beat Regan into a nice casserole.
The report was filed by the same white spirit swilling crack head that told the world Bill Gates climbed a clock tower with a rifle and that Marilyn Monroe was locked in Mel Gibson’s cellar. Experts have branded this post "tasteless" and "too soon to be funny". The hunt for Reagan continues.
Mine's dead.
*sobs with embarrassment*
Well, err, urm, my dad could beat up your dad! My dad's a fireman!
Well, err, urm, my dad could beat up your dad! My dad's a fireman!
California*
But that's what I said.
*struts* ;-)
*struts* ;-)
Ashman wrote:
> Heh, so that's why you wanted to double check that Arnie was the
> president of Calafornia.
Yaas, and he's the governor, not the president.
> Heh, so that's why you wanted to double check that Arnie was the
> president of Calafornia.
Yaas, and he's the governor, not the president.
Comedy is just a combination of timing and context. If I had done this 3 months ago it wouldn't have made sense, and if I did it in 3 months nobody would remember.
When I die I hope people have a laugh on my account.
When I die I hope people have a laugh on my account.
Heh, so that's why you wanted to double check that Arnie was the governor of Calafornia.
(I'm an editing geen-yass)
(I'm an editing geen-yass)
Ah...he's been dead five minutes, leave the guy alone!
I also heard reports that he had been walking around the White house reeking of vodka, but this is yet to be confirmed. There is also specualtion that he is posting surveys on backpacks in various Chat Forums under the name of Wimmel.
Recently deceased former American president and movie star Ronald Reagan has been spotted alive and well in a Hooters bar in California. He was seen tucking dollar bills into a waitress’s sparkly thong and later hosing her down in the wet T-shirt contest.
Zombie Expert, Dawnova Dead, believes Reagan has returned from the dead the feast on the brains of the living and indulge in general scalp-tearing mischief throughout the state. California locals spotted Reagan walking the streets drooling slightly and muttering about eating brains and entrails. He was later spotted in a McDonalds looking particularly satisfied.
The governor of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger, commented that zombie Reagan was too much of a threat to the city and he would have to be neutralised. He had to end the press conference early but assured us ‘he’d be back’.
A crack team of television stars have been assembled to deal with zombie Reagan. Australian crocodile wrestler and general chump Steve Irwin was named as the man leading the hunt. He said earlier that zombie Reagan “can be considered very lethal and could strike at any time” and also assured us “he’s a beauty!” Actor Jean Reno agreed to “clean” zombie Reagan using nothing but a woolly hat, a pot plant and Natalie Portman. Other stars that have joined the attempt to stop Reagan’s rampage include Martin Clunes who will presumably use his ears as some sort of scoop; Samuel L Jackson due to the fact he is in everything, and Gordon Ramsey who will use his man-breasts, anger displacement and a wooden spoon to beat Regan into a nice casserole.
The report was filed by the same white spirit swilling crack head that told the world Bill Gates climbed a clock tower with a rifle and that Marilyn Monroe was locked in Mel Gibson’s cellar. Experts have branded this post "tasteless" and "too soon to be funny". The hunt for Reagan continues.
Zombie Expert, Dawnova Dead, believes Reagan has returned from the dead the feast on the brains of the living and indulge in general scalp-tearing mischief throughout the state. California locals spotted Reagan walking the streets drooling slightly and muttering about eating brains and entrails. He was later spotted in a McDonalds looking particularly satisfied.
The governor of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger, commented that zombie Reagan was too much of a threat to the city and he would have to be neutralised. He had to end the press conference early but assured us ‘he’d be back’.
A crack team of television stars have been assembled to deal with zombie Reagan. Australian crocodile wrestler and general chump Steve Irwin was named as the man leading the hunt. He said earlier that zombie Reagan “can be considered very lethal and could strike at any time” and also assured us “he’s a beauty!” Actor Jean Reno agreed to “clean” zombie Reagan using nothing but a woolly hat, a pot plant and Natalie Portman. Other stars that have joined the attempt to stop Reagan’s rampage include Martin Clunes who will presumably use his ears as some sort of scoop; Samuel L Jackson due to the fact he is in everything, and Gordon Ramsey who will use his man-breasts, anger displacement and a wooden spoon to beat Regan into a nice casserole.
The report was filed by the same white spirit swilling crack head that told the world Bill Gates climbed a clock tower with a rifle and that Marilyn Monroe was locked in Mel Gibson’s cellar. Experts have branded this post "tasteless" and "too soon to be funny". The hunt for Reagan continues.