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"My Job To Rob"

My Job To Rob

A shrewd darkness fell upon the cell,
I was starting to feel quite unwell.
There’s no way out, just brick wall,
I’d fallen straight into life’s pitfall.
The floor is stone, and drenched wet,
To the outside I’m now no threat.
Oh how did I let up this summer night?
I’d been broken up for just one fortnight.
My girlfriend had found out my trade,
Robbing houses was my way.
She kept quiet, but still did leave,
Not wanting me, a lonely thieve.
But since then stole I have not,
Tonight though was my big jackpot.
A life of happiness within my reach,
Enough to buy my very own beach.
Just tell me how could I refuse?
And don’t lecture me about values.
I don’t have any sort of belief,
I am soulless, a soulless thief.
It was my own fault that lost it all,
My one single biggest downfall.
I told that girl, the one I adored,
My one request she had ignored.
She bailed out and told the cops,
Just before I robbed the shops.
They locked me up here right now,
I’ll get out of here sometime, somehow.
The justice system is plain poor,
Soon enough I’ll be out that door.
All I need is a considerate jury,
And I’ll be back, filled with fury.
In amongst the real world, to rob the rich,
But only after that lying b!tch.

(I was gunna stick this in "Poetry Corner" but I wanted a wider opinion. Thanks for your time.)

Rickoss wrote:
> Really good.
>
> Although I don't think night rhymes with fortnight :-D

Heh, *slaps forehead*

Techincally it does, but no, you're right, it doesn't sound right.

This reminds me of a poem I read about Glasgow once. The theme is difernet but it has a similar feel to it.

Really good.

Although I don't think night rhymes with fortnight :-D

Well it differs depending on the type of song im writing. Somethimes i just go with whatever rhymes in an obvious way but then the music has to be really good to hide the cheesy lyrics. Other times i write more like a poem then have subtle music to the lyrics can be emphasisied.

Yeah I understand, rhyming can be easily complicated with the amount of syllable words used and wot not. I just suggest going with what sounds right, if there is something that does, that is.

dont get me wrong, its easy to make the songs rhyme, its just i dont want to go for the obvious rhyme. You hear too many songs where the next line is predictable or stupid just so it can rhyme but i try to avoid this which sometimes can be hard

Oh come on now rhyming in music,
Just needs a handful of logic!

*bows* *recieves flowers* etc.

I suppose poetic licence would allow for these type of faults anyway. I hate trying to get a rhyme when im writing songs. It can be qite iritating sometimes.

I noticed it but I couldn't think of any other way to get round it so just left it. Thanks for the feedback.

Ashman wrote:

> She kept quiet, but still did leave,
> Not wanting me, a lonely thieve.

I think you mean thief, which doesnt which (obviously) doesnt fit. So weather you pick the correct word or word that rhymes it doesnt work.

Other than that the poem seems pretty decent. im not a huge poetry fan and would much rather hear this sung to a bit of music.