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"I'm empty"

I sat staring into the sun earlier, merely trying to accept myself on a brighter level. My eyes were burning through the pain of no sleep, my body was burning through the pain of living.

I tried to place my hand inside my mind and extract what was hurting, yet I realised moments later you cannot grab or touch something that isn't there. You can't bring out the emptiness, it'll always exist.
The people I love most in the world are mostly false, I hold back the truth that only I know because.. I know.

Yet I bring myself back to where I started over two years ago. The forums which became my dwelling place. I'm older now, I have more scars. In the past twelve months I've endured so much mental pain I could seriously feel my own body wanting to not return from a rare sleep. My case is empty. It shouts at me to stop talking to it. I cannot find a way forward. I cannot forgive her.

Who is she? I don't expect you to know, we broke up in September 2002, and last summer she died infront of me from an overdose. I loved her and this is how I was repaid. I can't forgive because I will never get the answers.

As for the rest of me. it's angry. Angry because I deserve so much more. Surely? Why can't I have it how I want it. I've done my time, I've lived through the ladder. The rungs aren't breaking anymore. My ladder is just burning at the bottom.

I'm too confused to post more. Yet here I am. Back at the start.
You'll all know me oneday.
You'll all know me.

Ofcourse we're all sinners.

I wish people would stop seeing it as such a bad thing.
You screw up, you learn, you might do it again, such is life. ;-)


God doesn't blame us for trying so that's where you conscience should lie... perhaps? :-)

Anysway, to emptiness...


The only way I've crawled out of "emptiness" is by taking my mind off it or something. Trying something new usually helps...
A hundred people have already suggested it but hey, one more can't hurt! ;-)

Strafio wrote:
> It is.
>
> Like you said Er-no, Jesus died for your sins, even ones you've not
> committed yet so don't let it be in vain.
>
> Give him something to have died for.
> Get out there and get sinning!
>
>
> Right Forest Fan? ;-)

I am a SINNER, thankyou for agreeing with me.

Ms NY wrote:
> Forest Fan wrote:
> Ah... but God can talk to you.
>
> I don't hear Him. What does God's voice sound like?

You have to ask Him into your heart first, I hear His voice and have to act upon His will.

Forest Fan wrote:
> Ah... but God can talk to you.

I don't hear Him. What does God's voice sound like?

It is.

Like you said Er-no, Jesus died for your sins, even ones you've not committed yet so don't let it be in vain.

Give him something to have died for.
Get out there and get sinning!


Right Forest Fan? ;-)

Flockhart wrote:
> Forest Fan wrote:
> This person needs Jesus.
>
> that's your answer to everything,don't be so blind.

It is the ANSWER to everything, yes it is.

er-no wrote:
> Funny that. Jesus died for all our sins and even the sins we have yet
> commited.
>
> That means we are forgiven even before we do wrong.
> Go figure.

But you have to ACCEPT the forgiveness and ACCEPT JESUS into your life.

Ms NY wrote:
> Gah, Jesus? What's he gonna do? He won't talk back.

Ah... but God can talk to you.

I hit myself when I get annoyed at myself

It's fun but it scares people

Self harm without the blades and fags

I punched myself in the face earlier in a sacrifice. I did it for humanity.

Joby, this comes and goes. Do what you need to and take a rest, stay strong, and you'll be back on your feet in no time, you always are.

So hey, go have some fun for a bit. :)