Viewing Thread:
"Best Fart Ever"

This should be interesting in a smelly way.

Firstly, I declare myself the proud owner of the best fart ever already, but what's the best fart you've ever done. And don't try to be 'hard' and lie.

On an aeroplane, coming back from Turkey on Monday. I'd eaten something that my stomach didn't like a few days earlier and I was starting to feel ill from holding all the farts in. I decided to let a small one go to see if it would be safe to let the whole lot go.

Leaning to the side I let a little one go, but I got carried away and let rip a rather beefy fart, luckily the noise of the aeroplane covered the sound.

Upon smelling the fart, I decided to hide myself so I stuck my head in my bag on the floor and just listened to the 'urgh' noises coming from further and further down the aisle.

Within the paranoia of hoping nobody knew it was me was a sense of acheivement.

Plus it was quite amusing the fact that the toilet was behind me and everyone looked at the poor bloke walking out of it once the smell had filled the whole plane!

So, your best farts?

My sister's fart about 5 years ago in a lift was pretty good too. Especially my Dad having to explain to the people getting on that it was my sister who did it!

Yes, but she would know that you were lying because she would know that she didn't do it.

Bob Marley wrote:
> Or rush into the toilet and let the poo out of your pants/ boxer
> shorts.
--

Or read the post where he explains she's in the shower?

I'd turn the lights off as she came into the room, ask her to slip into (the other side) of the bed, make a loud thhhrrppp noise, turn on the light, pull back the covers and then shout "what the hell have you done in my bed you dirty cow!". After she's cleaned up I would then ask her to leave in the most sincere and condescending tone, tutting and shaking my head as she went.

Or rush into the toilet and let the poo out of your pants/ boxer shorts.

There's just no way you could explain or pretend otherwise.
Best thing would have been to just lay there, wait till she came in and say "Ey love, I've just soiled meself!" and point, laughing hysterically.

I'd have paid a million pounds to watch the event unfurl on a spy cam. The look of utter contentment dissolving into abject horror would have been fantastic to behold.

Sorry I should die.

Herr Dark Wolf wrote:
> Or you could just say 'heh'.
--

But that implies a wry chuckle, when in fact I laughed a lot.

The sagacious one wrote:
> F&^% me I've just shat myself and my lady is in the shower...

This sentence made me laugh. A lot.

But brings me to the suspicion of the fact that it was probably you who shat yerself - using a "mate" as the cover story

Or you could just say 'heh'.