Viewing Thread:
"Best Fart Ever"

This should be interesting in a smelly way.

Firstly, I declare myself the proud owner of the best fart ever already, but what's the best fart you've ever done. And don't try to be 'hard' and lie.

On an aeroplane, coming back from Turkey on Monday. I'd eaten something that my stomach didn't like a few days earlier and I was starting to feel ill from holding all the farts in. I decided to let a small one go to see if it would be safe to let the whole lot go.

Leaning to the side I let a little one go, but I got carried away and let rip a rather beefy fart, luckily the noise of the aeroplane covered the sound.

Upon smelling the fart, I decided to hide myself so I stuck my head in my bag on the floor and just listened to the 'urgh' noises coming from further and further down the aisle.

Within the paranoia of hoping nobody knew it was me was a sense of acheivement.

Plus it was quite amusing the fact that the toilet was behind me and everyone looked at the poor bloke walking out of it once the smell had filled the whole plane!

So, your best farts?

My sister's fart about 5 years ago in a lift was pretty good too. Especially my Dad having to explain to the people getting on that it was my sister who did it!

Seeing how immature you lot are...

You'll like this!

http://www.phi11ip.com/exe/fart.exe

Scan it for viruses first, I've already done it but you can't be too sure in this age...

Right, I've got a plan for your mate Saggy (if he ever does it again...I don't know how stupid this guy is, he could be a chimp for all I know). All he has to do is deny all knowledge in the style of the knight from Holy Grail. The woman would just stand there, mouth open, as he continues to lie on the bed in the same position as before only with a shat on the sheets.

"...what?"
"Yo...there's...."
"What?"
"You've s##t yourself"
"No I haven't"
"Yes you have! It's right there between your legs!"
"Merely a flesh wound"

Blank wrote:
> Best fart(s) ever - choose any of the 253 I did in one day at primary
> school. I started to keep count after a while because there were so
> damn many. I'm talking chains of 50+ in a row here.

eHEEEHEEHEHEHEHEHEeeeeHEHEeeheHeeeee. ..hheee...hehe...ahhhhhhhhhh

The sagacious one wrote:
> I'd turn the lights off as she came into the room, ask her to slip
> into (the other side) of the bed, make a loud thhhrrppp noise, turn
> on the light, pull back the covers and then shout "what the hell
> have you done in my bed you dirty cow!". After she's cleaned up
> I would then ask her to leave in the most sincere and condescending
> tone, tutting and shaking my head as she went.

I've already provided a cunning escape....not need for killing.

Kill himself.

But what if there was an aftershock?

Or your 'mate' couldve just cleaned himself up witht the towel and thrown it at someone.

Then lay there all naked.

Best fart(s) ever - choose any of the 253 I did in one day at primary school. I started to keep count after a while because there were so damn many. I'm talking chains of 50+ in a row here.

....*crickets chirrup, somewhere a coyote howls*

Goatboy wrote:
> Bob Marley wrote:
> Or rush into the toilet and let the poo out of your pants/ boxer
> shorts.
> --
>
> Or read the post where he explains she's in the shower?
After she's gone in the shower.