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A lull in today's Waller-sized workload got me thinking - what things define you as a person? Bearing in mind that Pete and Bernie's Philosophical Steakhouse is now closed, can you pin down moments in your life that made you who you are today? Example - what made you listen to the type of you music you listen to? Why do you wear the clothes you do? How did you come to be friends with your friends?
I'd do my own, but I'm busy - just trying to start some serious discussion, rather than spoofs involving me being a gay serial m*********r or another fricking copularity pontest.
I'd do my own, but I'm busy - just trying to start some serious discussion, rather than spoofs involving me being a gay serial m*********r or another fricking copularity pontest.
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ever since year 2 when my school finally got all the years sorted i've always felt the odd one out. All the way through til about year 12 i was always about a foot taller than anyone else and having the name Ben didn't exactly help matters. However when i got into Year 7 something changed, i had found something that my height was good for, Basketball. Now i could be the one who was in charge and for a few hours a weeks i wouldn't just be the tall guy in the background looking after my friends i could be that one important popular person that everyone crowded round at break. All the time i was picked first in teams and i felt good and my confidence grew.
In the same year i had discovered rap music with me buying my first album from the Beastie Boys with Paul's Boutique and it was with this i had started developing my attitude. With more rap albums i bought my attitude had gotten bigger. Now in year 11 i was rejecting the other kids shots on the courts and giving them some trash talking to go with it like *come back when you got some game son* i had really started to get some confidence. Now i was starting conversations and going up to people instead of waiting for others to talk to me i was really having fun. My whole life had changed due to basketball and rap music i was no longer the big tall kid others used for intimidation instead i was the trash talking kid on the court and the gentle confident giant off it. After also discovering Buddhism and getting religion back into my life after i had gotten disillusioned with the way the christian church was i had gained an inner peace. I had had a very short temper before this but now i had learned to be very passive and not let people get on my nerves. With these three things in my life and my very beautiful girlfriend my life had turned right around from the tall shy outcast kid in yr 2 to the popular basketballer i am today.
In the same year i had discovered rap music with me buying my first album from the Beastie Boys with Paul's Boutique and it was with this i had started developing my attitude. With more rap albums i bought my attitude had gotten bigger. Now in year 11 i was rejecting the other kids shots on the courts and giving them some trash talking to go with it like *come back when you got some game son* i had really started to get some confidence. Now i was starting conversations and going up to people instead of waiting for others to talk to me i was really having fun. My whole life had changed due to basketball and rap music i was no longer the big tall kid others used for intimidation instead i was the trash talking kid on the court and the gentle confident giant off it. After also discovering Buddhism and getting religion back into my life after i had gotten disillusioned with the way the christian church was i had gained an inner peace. I had had a very short temper before this but now i had learned to be very passive and not let people get on my nerves. With these three things in my life and my very beautiful girlfriend my life had turned right around from the tall shy outcast kid in yr 2 to the popular basketballer i am today.
I would love to post but my life is boring and will post tomorrow as i am to tired to be bothered, so i will do it later and it will be true and not SPAM.
A bit extra too add.
When JAR came online, and said about the 'jokes'...that I find not funny... he tried going one up on me...like, by trying to make me feel guilty for times in the past. Why go one up, when you can just sort your problems out?
When JAR came online, and said about the 'jokes'...that I find not funny... he tried going one up on me...like, by trying to make me feel guilty for times in the past. Why go one up, when you can just sort your problems out?
Quinty wrote:
> And you know what these so-called mates did when i tried to get this
> off of my chest? Laughed at me. But i dont want to be alone again.
Me too. I'm showing my mates this. Already getting a lecture about how wrong I am...I know about the bullies in my life, not anyone else!
>
> Damn i'm sounding like an idiot now.
Nope, you're not dude.
>
> But i'm going to carry on. See, the trouble i have at school is that
> im basically the weakest. Physically, and mentally. That's why when
> someones gets into a fight (happens a lot round here), and they lose
> they take it out on me. And that smells. Totally.
Yeah, I get the blame for stuff like that too...so, once again, me and you are both in the same boat.
>
> It's why i lack so much confidence. Thats probably why if see a girl
> i'm attracted to i dotn have the confidence to approach her. Paranoia
> and lack of confidence is not a nice mixture.
Again, me too. I can't approach a girl, cos in year 3...I got rejected. I fancied this girl, my so-called mates laughed, and asked her out for me...and she said NO!
>
> That's all from me
Me too!
> And you know what these so-called mates did when i tried to get this
> off of my chest? Laughed at me. But i dont want to be alone again.
Me too. I'm showing my mates this. Already getting a lecture about how wrong I am...I know about the bullies in my life, not anyone else!
>
> Damn i'm sounding like an idiot now.
Nope, you're not dude.
>
> But i'm going to carry on. See, the trouble i have at school is that
> im basically the weakest. Physically, and mentally. That's why when
> someones gets into a fight (happens a lot round here), and they lose
> they take it out on me. And that smells. Totally.
Yeah, I get the blame for stuff like that too...so, once again, me and you are both in the same boat.
>
> It's why i lack so much confidence. Thats probably why if see a girl
> i'm attracted to i dotn have the confidence to approach her. Paranoia
> and lack of confidence is not a nice mixture.
Again, me too. I can't approach a girl, cos in year 3...I got rejected. I fancied this girl, my so-called mates laughed, and asked her out for me...and she said NO!
>
> That's all from me
Me too!
Hmmmm, I have to go back a bit for mine.
I have never really had any decent friends, going back to year 3 and 4 I had a mate and he used to say “give me them crisps or I’ll tell the headmaster your not sharing”
And ‘cos I was only little I used to be scared of getting told of so I gave him the crisps. Then I think it was year 5 I had a friend who every day used to go off with his so called ‘cooler’ mates and leave me. And they would take the mick out of my second name, which is Redpath this really got to me ‘cos I knew I couldn’t change it till I was older.
A year ago I had a really good mate. Well anyways we where down a park one day with some more mates and he was beat up by 8 to 10 lads from the ages of 11 to 18. This really really got to me. Now he never comes out.
And my best friend is Reynolds yes you heard me Reynolds. You may all think he’s a cheating loser but he is a very good friend to me a sticks by me through thick and thin, and he is the best mate I have ever had.
I have never really had any decent friends, going back to year 3 and 4 I had a mate and he used to say “give me them crisps or I’ll tell the headmaster your not sharing”
And ‘cos I was only little I used to be scared of getting told of so I gave him the crisps. Then I think it was year 5 I had a friend who every day used to go off with his so called ‘cooler’ mates and leave me. And they would take the mick out of my second name, which is Redpath this really got to me ‘cos I knew I couldn’t change it till I was older.
A year ago I had a really good mate. Well anyways we where down a park one day with some more mates and he was beat up by 8 to 10 lads from the ages of 11 to 18. This really really got to me. Now he never comes out.
And my best friend is Reynolds yes you heard me Reynolds. You may all think he’s a cheating loser but he is a very good friend to me a sticks by me through thick and thin, and he is the best mate I have ever had.
And you know what these so-called mates did when i tried to get this off of my chest? Laughed at me. But i dont want to be alone again.
Damn i'm sounding like an idiot now.
But i'm going to carry on. See, the trouble i have at school is that im basically the weakest. Physically, and mentally. That's why when someones gets into a fight (happens a lot round here), and they lose they take it out on me. And that smells. Totally.
It's why i lack so much confidence. Thats probably why if see a girl i'm attracted to i dotn have the confidence to approach her. Paranoia and lack of confidence is not a nice mixture.
That's all from me
Damn i'm sounding like an idiot now.
But i'm going to carry on. See, the trouble i have at school is that im basically the weakest. Physically, and mentally. That's why when someones gets into a fight (happens a lot round here), and they lose they take it out on me. And that smells. Totally.
It's why i lack so much confidence. Thats probably why if see a girl i'm attracted to i dotn have the confidence to approach her. Paranoia and lack of confidence is not a nice mixture.
That's all from me
Where do i start?
See in my view i have just drifted through my childhood, no memorable moments, no life changing situations.
But then i thought about it. I mean REALLY thought about. At school i do have friends. But no really close ones. From year 7-9 i did'nt have a care in the world. Drifing through my school life, happy with the average results i continued to get. I was so happy with my life, that to a certain extent i took having friends for granted. So eventually i lost most of them. So the summer of year 9 was an absolute nightmare for me. Even my mum said to me "Why dont you go out? Have you actually got any friends?. That hurt that did. Took my mum to make me realise what a complete plank i'd been. I cryed after that. I'm not ashamed to say i cry a lto of the time, even for no reason- I just like doing it. Then when they used to go out they used to call me up and laugh over the phone, saying what a greeat time they were having. I dont think ive ever been so down in my life. I'm even welling up at the thought of it. But as i progressed through the beginning of year 10 i found a new group of friends, who i know associate with. Problem is my previous bad experience means that i'm paranoid like hell. And that's one problem i need to get rid of. My brother doesn't really help the situation either really. The silly little jibes hurt more than he thinks. But i guess things can only get better and they are. But thinking about it, in my new group of friends, not a single one of them would stick up for me in an argument or anything.
Shame really.
Anyway your the first people i've ever "spoken" like this to.
More from em later, thanks for listening
See in my view i have just drifted through my childhood, no memorable moments, no life changing situations.
But then i thought about it. I mean REALLY thought about. At school i do have friends. But no really close ones. From year 7-9 i did'nt have a care in the world. Drifing through my school life, happy with the average results i continued to get. I was so happy with my life, that to a certain extent i took having friends for granted. So eventually i lost most of them. So the summer of year 9 was an absolute nightmare for me. Even my mum said to me "Why dont you go out? Have you actually got any friends?. That hurt that did. Took my mum to make me realise what a complete plank i'd been. I cryed after that. I'm not ashamed to say i cry a lto of the time, even for no reason- I just like doing it. Then when they used to go out they used to call me up and laugh over the phone, saying what a greeat time they were having. I dont think ive ever been so down in my life. I'm even welling up at the thought of it. But as i progressed through the beginning of year 10 i found a new group of friends, who i know associate with. Problem is my previous bad experience means that i'm paranoid like hell. And that's one problem i need to get rid of. My brother doesn't really help the situation either really. The silly little jibes hurt more than he thinks. But i guess things can only get better and they are. But thinking about it, in my new group of friends, not a single one of them would stick up for me in an argument or anything.
Shame really.
Anyway your the first people i've ever "spoken" like this to.
More from em later, thanks for listening
Did that make me sound like a poof, like crying each night, and everything like that? I'm actually getting emotional thinking about my life now. My 'mates', who use me so they don't look like a loner when they go into town (people like JAR...)and everything like that. I've got SIX mates altogether...so the rest who all take the p!ss out of me...I say this to you if you read it...SCREW YOU! You know who you are...you're the cowards who'd walk away if I were getting my a$# whooped. You're not like the mates who would help me...you all laugh at the bullies! Well don't come running to me, or any of the other guys who you use...okay? I'm in a mood now, and I'm actually thinking about how they use me now. If I tell them I don't like them cos they use me, they laugh and say "Whatever Gary, Dumbo, alien with monkey features". Gah...
Umm, I spose this is hard for me.
It started I think in year 4. I arrived at school one morning...and these year 6's were doing something. Well, I did something, like grass (I think), and they got in trouble. When the teacher went in, they all circled me (and my mate stepped aside laughing, dropping me in it) and threatened me. I think this changed the person I am. This made the change over hard, and I still struggle through school. I'm a fairly brainy kid, so I get through that way. But, my features (monkey features as my 'mates' call them...yes, even one of our forum members, JAR, says stuff like that about me. Does he not know what I go through. I haven't really told a mate about it, well, certainly not one of them, as in class, I'm bubbly, witty etc) get me into trouble with bullying. Hell, nowadays, I can't even get the bus home because of bullies...people who I've never seen before. They say stuff about my round head, my big ears, my height, me weight...call me stupid childish names, embarrassing me. Even JAR laughs when they say it. It's all a big joke to them...it's like, they've never experianced it. I have TWO mates in this area, like where I live. I consider three people at my school 'mates', like if I were in a bad situation, they would sit down and try to help me out. And, I'd do the same back. I've had four jobs since I was 10. One, I had to leave cos of my so called mates upsetting me...another, I couldn't hack the cowards down one of the roads on my paper-round getting at me every Thursday. It got SO bad that I did my papers Saturday morning at like 7am! The third one, I got the job ahead of this kid (he had problems, and therefore wasn't fit for the job), so he got his mates, and his brothers mates, and his brothers brothers mates to make my life a living hell! Luckily, my brother sorted it out. Then, I used to get trouble each Friday down the youth club, which is SUPOSSED to be for Christians (I don't consider myself a Christian, but that doesn't mean the option of becoming a Christian wasn't there for me) by some 17 year olds. 17...my life, shouldn't they have grown up by now? So, my brother came to the rescue again, and put a stop to it (That's why me and my brother are closer then ever now). Now, still getting trouble, lots of stuff comes through my mind. Shall I do what's best, like ending it all now, taking the bullies with me? No, what about the loved ones? I would leave them in utter sadness...Do I think, two years left...then I'm ut of this hell-hole? Or, do I choose the option, which I once tried (and was pretty successful with) of fighting back...kicking out? Hopefully, this is the worst it can get...because I don't know whether I can take much more before I finally do decide enough's enough. I hate the days where I come home, and lay on my bed, fighting to hold the tears back. Then, letting it all out when I tell my mum what kind of a day I've had. Why was I born ugly? I mean, girls say I'm cute (you never know with girls these days), but then...do I trust them, or are they just rubbing it in cos I'm ugly? Why me? WHY ME?
DW
It started I think in year 4. I arrived at school one morning...and these year 6's were doing something. Well, I did something, like grass (I think), and they got in trouble. When the teacher went in, they all circled me (and my mate stepped aside laughing, dropping me in it) and threatened me. I think this changed the person I am. This made the change over hard, and I still struggle through school. I'm a fairly brainy kid, so I get through that way. But, my features (monkey features as my 'mates' call them...yes, even one of our forum members, JAR, says stuff like that about me. Does he not know what I go through. I haven't really told a mate about it, well, certainly not one of them, as in class, I'm bubbly, witty etc) get me into trouble with bullying. Hell, nowadays, I can't even get the bus home because of bullies...people who I've never seen before. They say stuff about my round head, my big ears, my height, me weight...call me stupid childish names, embarrassing me. Even JAR laughs when they say it. It's all a big joke to them...it's like, they've never experianced it. I have TWO mates in this area, like where I live. I consider three people at my school 'mates', like if I were in a bad situation, they would sit down and try to help me out. And, I'd do the same back. I've had four jobs since I was 10. One, I had to leave cos of my so called mates upsetting me...another, I couldn't hack the cowards down one of the roads on my paper-round getting at me every Thursday. It got SO bad that I did my papers Saturday morning at like 7am! The third one, I got the job ahead of this kid (he had problems, and therefore wasn't fit for the job), so he got his mates, and his brothers mates, and his brothers brothers mates to make my life a living hell! Luckily, my brother sorted it out. Then, I used to get trouble each Friday down the youth club, which is SUPOSSED to be for Christians (I don't consider myself a Christian, but that doesn't mean the option of becoming a Christian wasn't there for me) by some 17 year olds. 17...my life, shouldn't they have grown up by now? So, my brother came to the rescue again, and put a stop to it (That's why me and my brother are closer then ever now). Now, still getting trouble, lots of stuff comes through my mind. Shall I do what's best, like ending it all now, taking the bullies with me? No, what about the loved ones? I would leave them in utter sadness...Do I think, two years left...then I'm ut of this hell-hole? Or, do I choose the option, which I once tried (and was pretty successful with) of fighting back...kicking out? Hopefully, this is the worst it can get...because I don't know whether I can take much more before I finally do decide enough's enough. I hate the days where I come home, and lay on my bed, fighting to hold the tears back. Then, letting it all out when I tell my mum what kind of a day I've had. Why was I born ugly? I mean, girls say I'm cute (you never know with girls these days), but then...do I trust them, or are they just rubbing it in cos I'm ugly? Why me? WHY ME?
DW
Been thinking this over every now and then since first seeing the topic.
Still haven't come up with anything.
Bullying.. well, pleanty of others have brought it up.
Well, i have been, but never that seriously. I never really rose to it, just tried to keep out of situations where it'd happen. I guess i was also helped by my basketball, being in the same team as some who'd potentially be some of the worst, and forcing them to respect my play on the court.. even some (shallow) friendships.
Injuries..
i've always been horribly injury prone, it just pishes me off now. I always figure i must have been unlucky, and haven't stopped playing any sports because of it, but i'll be cutting down to just basketball and pool when my shoulder's back.
I'd just go with pool if i was following my head, but what's the point in having a fit body if it means you sacrifice happyness in the long run?
Chidhood..
my parents were fans of the 'go to your room' thing. For me at least. By the time i was in school, i'd just try to stay in my room to keep out of everyone's way anyway. Maybe explains why i'm a bit of a loner sometimes.
Defining.. stuff? Probably choosing to spend each summer in my uni town rather than go home. And my complete failure to decide whether to make a move on a girl i kind of liked this year.
And leading my team with 15 points in the first league game at basketball camp, but not getting over 5 for the rest of the week.
Nothing that big, reflects the feeling that i'm drifting aimlessly through life, hoping to be swept along in some current because i can't see a worthwhile direction.
Still haven't come up with anything.
Bullying.. well, pleanty of others have brought it up.
Well, i have been, but never that seriously. I never really rose to it, just tried to keep out of situations where it'd happen. I guess i was also helped by my basketball, being in the same team as some who'd potentially be some of the worst, and forcing them to respect my play on the court.. even some (shallow) friendships.
Injuries..
i've always been horribly injury prone, it just pishes me off now. I always figure i must have been unlucky, and haven't stopped playing any sports because of it, but i'll be cutting down to just basketball and pool when my shoulder's back.
I'd just go with pool if i was following my head, but what's the point in having a fit body if it means you sacrifice happyness in the long run?
Chidhood..
my parents were fans of the 'go to your room' thing. For me at least. By the time i was in school, i'd just try to stay in my room to keep out of everyone's way anyway. Maybe explains why i'm a bit of a loner sometimes.
Defining.. stuff? Probably choosing to spend each summer in my uni town rather than go home. And my complete failure to decide whether to make a move on a girl i kind of liked this year.
And leading my team with 15 points in the first league game at basketball camp, but not getting over 5 for the rest of the week.
Nothing that big, reflects the feeling that i'm drifting aimlessly through life, hoping to be swept along in some current because i can't see a worthwhile direction.
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