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A lull in today's Waller-sized workload got me thinking - what things define you as a person? Bearing in mind that Pete and Bernie's Philosophical Steakhouse is now closed, can you pin down moments in your life that made you who you are today? Example - what made you listen to the type of you music you listen to? Why do you wear the clothes you do? How did you come to be friends with your friends?
I'd do my own, but I'm busy - just trying to start some serious discussion, rather than spoofs involving me being a gay serial m*********r or another fricking copularity pontest.
I'd do my own, but I'm busy - just trying to start some serious discussion, rather than spoofs involving me being a gay serial m*********r or another fricking copularity pontest.
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A lull in today's Waller-sized workload got me thinking - what things define you as a person? Bearing in mind that Pete and Bernie's Philosophical Steakhouse is now closed, can you pin down moments in your life that made you who you are today? Example - what made you listen to the type of you music you listen to? Why do you wear the clothes you do? How did you come to be friends with your friends?
I'd do my own, but I'm busy - just trying to start some serious discussion, rather than spoofs involving me being a gay serial m*********r or another fricking copularity pontest.
I'd do my own, but I'm busy - just trying to start some serious discussion, rather than spoofs involving me being a gay serial m*********r or another fricking copularity pontest.
The reason I'm so shy is definitely thanks to my experience at infant school. The teacher was awful; she shrieked at me when I did something wrong or didn't understand it, and although I had a couple of close friends I was always regarded by most as the 'stupid' one, just because I was unsure and worried about everything. I literally bunked off a whole afternoon in the toilet for fear of going back in and being continually shouted at.
Fortunately, it's different now, but it will probably continue to affect me for the rest of my life.
Fortunately, it's different now, but it will probably continue to affect me for the rest of my life.
:0D If you stopped picking them for gads, they'd stop doing them. Jeez man.
Right... erm... got lots of these, I think.
Had melingitious when I was seven/eight/nine. I lost my memory.
That kinda inspired me. I was the boy with no past. How cool. Gave me a bit of mystique which I'm not sure is the correct way to spell it but you know what I mean. Blame chatting to her.
I haven't talked about it much, but what the hell is there to say? "I lost my memory." Yup.
Elsewhere, there's my [dead now] grandfather, who did in fact kidnap me [basically] and take me to an ice cream convention. How much does that rule. He's the one that really taught me how friends should be, and how the adult/kid relationship should be... I mean, he was strict, he spoiled me on occasion, but I was always grateful. It wasn't until he died though, that I ever realised how much I loved him. It still kinda hurts to talk about him, just because of the way I left him, but, you know. Mistakes made. Perhaps I needed that to happen, to stop me from ever doing stuff like that again.
In school, we all had to take a yellis test, I think it's called. Basically, you tick what you enjoy, and what you hate, and it finds a job for you.
Everyone got a job, 'cept me. What did I get?
ERROR.
Went to the teacher, to ask what the heck was with that, she said it wouldn't take my results, and couldn't find anything.
People had LISTS of jobs. Thirty so things they could do. I didn't have one.
Probably my most definining moment. Helps to convince myself that I am indeed different.
(Ticking you hate everything surely didn't help though.)
I didn't, I did it honestly. I suppose my brain defines me too. It's called "being alone for far too long".
(And then you start talking to yourself. Because no-one else will.)
Talk to themselves?
(Talk to you, you idiot.)
Helps for me to never take myself seriously too. He buggers off on occasion though. Sometimes I do look back on things, see stuff I've done, and get told that if my brain was there, that wouldn't have happened. He's right. I do take myself far too seriously sometimes.
That's why he's there really. A failproof that goes on holiday every now and again. And makes me laugh. I enjoy being insane, it's far more fun.
That's enough for now, maybe more later.
Right... erm... got lots of these, I think.
Had melingitious when I was seven/eight/nine. I lost my memory.
That kinda inspired me. I was the boy with no past. How cool. Gave me a bit of mystique which I'm not sure is the correct way to spell it but you know what I mean. Blame chatting to her.
I haven't talked about it much, but what the hell is there to say? "I lost my memory." Yup.
Elsewhere, there's my [dead now] grandfather, who did in fact kidnap me [basically] and take me to an ice cream convention. How much does that rule. He's the one that really taught me how friends should be, and how the adult/kid relationship should be... I mean, he was strict, he spoiled me on occasion, but I was always grateful. It wasn't until he died though, that I ever realised how much I loved him. It still kinda hurts to talk about him, just because of the way I left him, but, you know. Mistakes made. Perhaps I needed that to happen, to stop me from ever doing stuff like that again.
In school, we all had to take a yellis test, I think it's called. Basically, you tick what you enjoy, and what you hate, and it finds a job for you.
Everyone got a job, 'cept me. What did I get?
ERROR.
Went to the teacher, to ask what the heck was with that, she said it wouldn't take my results, and couldn't find anything.
People had LISTS of jobs. Thirty so things they could do. I didn't have one.
Probably my most definining moment. Helps to convince myself that I am indeed different.
(Ticking you hate everything surely didn't help though.)
I didn't, I did it honestly. I suppose my brain defines me too. It's called "being alone for far too long".
(And then you start talking to yourself. Because no-one else will.)
Talk to themselves?
(Talk to you, you idiot.)
Helps for me to never take myself seriously too. He buggers off on occasion though. Sometimes I do look back on things, see stuff I've done, and get told that if my brain was there, that wouldn't have happened. He's right. I do take myself far too seriously sometimes.
That's why he's there really. A failproof that goes on holiday every now and again. And makes me laugh. I enjoy being insane, it's far more fun.
That's enough for now, maybe more later.
One experience that has definitely shaped me as a person is at a Year 9 trip with my school, one of those 'action weekend' thingys to the Isle of Wight.
One the way, my suitcases were mislaid, and as a result I was forced to borrow clothes and money from various people. Even though I was in a predicament, and my friends were understanding, as a proud person, it was extremely difficult to go up to people and ask to borrow clothes and money for a couple of days, and an experience that has changed me. I always have money on me, and never spend more than I have, as a result I am very thrifty with any expenditure - not saying I'm a cheapskate, but I always have money. Also, I never ask for stuff anymore - if I'm 20p short of a bus fare home, I'd rather walk it. I know it sounds a little stupid, but I absolutely never ask for money from anyone.
There, that's not really a definition of me, but it is an experience that has shaped me, and taught me lessons I will keeep for the rest of my days.
One the way, my suitcases were mislaid, and as a result I was forced to borrow clothes and money from various people. Even though I was in a predicament, and my friends were understanding, as a proud person, it was extremely difficult to go up to people and ask to borrow clothes and money for a couple of days, and an experience that has changed me. I always have money on me, and never spend more than I have, as a result I am very thrifty with any expenditure - not saying I'm a cheapskate, but I always have money. Also, I never ask for stuff anymore - if I'm 20p short of a bus fare home, I'd rather walk it. I know it sounds a little stupid, but I absolutely never ask for money from anyone.
There, that's not really a definition of me, but it is an experience that has shaped me, and taught me lessons I will keeep for the rest of my days.
Defining moments. Hum. I fell on my head at the age of 3. Could explain a lot. Still have a scar there, which is noticeable when I shave my head to go on holiday. One moment I can remember was when reading Lord of the Rings when I was 7. I know I keep on going on about this book, but honestly I was inspired by it. Not sure exactly how, but I know that it inspired me somehow, if that makes sense. Which is doesn't.
Within the last two years I've lost my grandfather on my mums side and my grandmother on my dads side. I was really quite close to my grandfather who died. One day I was at his house and he saw me looking at this beautifully sculpted statue of a kestrel that he inherited from his grandfather, and gave it to me. Just like that. It was one of the only things he had to remember his grandfather by, and he gave it to me. It's sitting on my mantelpiece in my room now. It's got a pressed feather beside it, that he grabbed from a cage at Chester Zoo once when we were there. I've also got a horseshoe that he made for me. I painted it and thats on my mantelpiece now. I miss him. I wasn't anyway near him when he died. He just went to bed one night, kissed my gran goodnight and was dead in the morning. At least it was peaceful.
My grandmother dying hasn't had the same effect on me. I can remember being at the burial a couple of months ago, with my dad next to me crying, and all I could think was "Why aren't I crying?". I still feel guilty for that. I hope she knew that I loved her. She's buried on this hillside cemetry with a great view of Swansea harbour. My grandad goes up there everyday and sits beside her grave and talks to her like he used to when she was alive. It's great to see, when I visit him.
Thats all for now, as my sister wants a go with computer.
Within the last two years I've lost my grandfather on my mums side and my grandmother on my dads side. I was really quite close to my grandfather who died. One day I was at his house and he saw me looking at this beautifully sculpted statue of a kestrel that he inherited from his grandfather, and gave it to me. Just like that. It was one of the only things he had to remember his grandfather by, and he gave it to me. It's sitting on my mantelpiece in my room now. It's got a pressed feather beside it, that he grabbed from a cage at Chester Zoo once when we were there. I've also got a horseshoe that he made for me. I painted it and thats on my mantelpiece now. I miss him. I wasn't anyway near him when he died. He just went to bed one night, kissed my gran goodnight and was dead in the morning. At least it was peaceful.
My grandmother dying hasn't had the same effect on me. I can remember being at the burial a couple of months ago, with my dad next to me crying, and all I could think was "Why aren't I crying?". I still feel guilty for that. I hope she knew that I loved her. She's buried on this hillside cemetry with a great view of Swansea harbour. My grandad goes up there everyday and sits beside her grave and talks to her like he used to when she was alive. It's great to see, when I visit him.
Thats all for now, as my sister wants a go with computer.
Um, I wear these clothes (plain white or black t-shirts and jeans) because I don't suit v-necks or designs on my stuff. I'm friends with my mate Wal because we sat next to each other in Geography in year 10, with my mate Fos because on New Year's Eve 1999, there was a street party in my street, and he was the only person there my age, so we hung around and got drunk that night. I'm can be shy sometimes because I hate being shouted at or ridiculed, much like Ant. If I feel confident around certain people, I'm a completely different person, but if someone doesn't like me, or I don't like them, I usually keep quiet
What else...? Um, I'm also a failure at 6th form and school because I knocked off too much, heh
What else...? Um, I'm also a failure at 6th form and school because I knocked off too much, heh
Oh, and I became "self aware" when I was about 12/13, when I realised I had control over who I was about to become. I became a lot friendlier, a lot less cocky, and probably less intelligent when that happened, heh
I'm the man I am now because I started thinking about life all of a sudden when I hit high school (not literally)
I'm the man I am now because I started thinking about life all of a sudden when I hit high school (not literally)
I always liked to intimidate people at school...
Mainly to do with England and football.
I used to wear the flag of any country England were playing on the back of my bag. Heh
Stopped doing that about 5 years ago and just stick with Argentina these days.
Another thing was at college not too long ago. Was sitting down in the canteen with a few people and I was saying to my mate "Leon man, your never gonna die! your like invinsible man!" That was rather stupid at the time considering the girl sitting next to me had lost her mum to cancer...
Really watch what i say these days...
Mainly to do with England and football.
I used to wear the flag of any country England were playing on the back of my bag. Heh
Stopped doing that about 5 years ago and just stick with Argentina these days.
Another thing was at college not too long ago. Was sitting down in the canteen with a few people and I was saying to my mate "Leon man, your never gonna die! your like invinsible man!" That was rather stupid at the time considering the girl sitting next to me had lost her mum to cancer...
Really watch what i say these days...
Hmmm
At primary school all the boys in the class would go around in a big group all the time... I was actually one of the most popular people in my class, mainly because I was good at football. However, after the years past I got tired of this and noticed that the more popular people were the more moronic they were and had 'greater power' just because they were popular. This made me into this "ooh everyone should be equal crap and such".
So I eventually told them all to get lost and went to Secondary School with a handful of friends. Only one of my friends was in my class and he left to England in first month so I was on my own in this class, which by the way was apparently one of the worst classes ever in school history except me and two people. That year of needing to make new friends and put up with the worst people imaginable made me into a stronger person or something like that.
Err I wear plain clothes because I used to wear lots of logo stuff to avoid getting made fun of... I looked stupid in clothes and they cost so much for you to advertise them... so one day I noticed this... think I was 13... gave all my clothes to little brother and asked mum and dad to buy me new stuff... which came to small price.
I like my music because it's the best. Well really my dad had quite cool taste in music and I grew up listening to his stuff... I thought I never liked music until I was 13/14 when my mate borrowed me The Bends by Radiohead and that was it... music fanatic... went and bought loads of CD's and now play my geetar.
And I also blame my humour and cyical/sarcastic ways on a childhood of suffering from migranes and insomnia which messed me up... could be worse though. My parents rock and thats why I rule and have all my morals. So my parents rule. That's all for now.
At primary school all the boys in the class would go around in a big group all the time... I was actually one of the most popular people in my class, mainly because I was good at football. However, after the years past I got tired of this and noticed that the more popular people were the more moronic they were and had 'greater power' just because they were popular. This made me into this "ooh everyone should be equal crap and such".
So I eventually told them all to get lost and went to Secondary School with a handful of friends. Only one of my friends was in my class and he left to England in first month so I was on my own in this class, which by the way was apparently one of the worst classes ever in school history except me and two people. That year of needing to make new friends and put up with the worst people imaginable made me into a stronger person or something like that.
Err I wear plain clothes because I used to wear lots of logo stuff to avoid getting made fun of... I looked stupid in clothes and they cost so much for you to advertise them... so one day I noticed this... think I was 13... gave all my clothes to little brother and asked mum and dad to buy me new stuff... which came to small price.
I like my music because it's the best. Well really my dad had quite cool taste in music and I grew up listening to his stuff... I thought I never liked music until I was 13/14 when my mate borrowed me The Bends by Radiohead and that was it... music fanatic... went and bought loads of CD's and now play my geetar.
And I also blame my humour and cyical/sarcastic ways on a childhood of suffering from migranes and insomnia which messed me up... could be worse though. My parents rock and thats why I rule and have all my morals. So my parents rule. That's all for now.
Moments that define who I am today...hmmmm...
Car Accident:
Gave me an understanding of life that I couldn't have had before, and is common to those that survive near death experiences - a total disinterest in things that don't appeal to me.
I have no career plan, no pension, no savings and no idea what I should be doing outside of music.
And I love it. Not interested in family/house/career/car blah blah blah.
Say what I want when I want and couldn't care less about the outcomes because life can end tomorrow and will do for someone.
So why waste it today?
Not in a cheesy Hallmark "I looked at the birds today and wrote a poem" crap, just the knowledge that despite all your well-laid plans it could be over in 10 minutes from now for you.
Abusive Stepfather:
Taught me things about life you don't learn from school/college/books/tv.
Some people are evil, regardless of what you do or say.
Evil exists.
But also made me who I am. I will not tolerate bullying/threatening behaviour from anybody.
I don't care how big you are or how many there are of you, the gift of fury is far greater than your strength and if I see you giving anyone hassle I will destroy you - without hesitation or worry.
Happens on the tube, drunk blokes being mouthy to a woman.
Everyone puts their head down and ignores it but I won't, I'll get in your face before you know what hit you.
It's not being "hard", it's sticking up for someone because you never know when you'll need it yourself, and sometimes there isn't anyone to protect you and that's the loneliest feeling on this planet - to need help and to not get it.
Playing the drums:
Always wanted to since I was a kid. Taught myself and played in some rubbish college bands but I did it.
Am now in one of the best unsigned bands around and you *will* hear about us, I promise.
I can take jokes about anything except my drumming, because I'm damned good at it and if you ever see me playing, I give it 100% because I belong up there pounding away.
It gave me the confidence to talk to anyone, because after playing in front of 400 people it's not hard to speak to a single person.
Suicidal Tendencies:
An LA skatecore band that had a song called "Can't Bring Me Down" - the 1st song I felt that was written for me and me alone.
It defines me totally and perfectly.
Realising I'm not crap:
Be it music, writing or wooing the ladies. I have realised that I am bloody good at what I set my mind to and make the most of it.
I may not look like much, but I have it where it counts
*taps chest* In here.
A fire that can never be put out, a passion for music/life that is bigger than this planet
My mates:
Because without them I have nobody to rely on and nobody to fight for.
You are your friends and you can judge yourself by the company you keep.
I love my mates without question or judgement.
Hearing Bill Hicks for the 1st time:
A man that spoke outloud my secret and special thoughts.
----
That's enough for now.
A few moments/things that make Goatboy who he is.
Car Accident:
Gave me an understanding of life that I couldn't have had before, and is common to those that survive near death experiences - a total disinterest in things that don't appeal to me.
I have no career plan, no pension, no savings and no idea what I should be doing outside of music.
And I love it. Not interested in family/house/career/car blah blah blah.
Say what I want when I want and couldn't care less about the outcomes because life can end tomorrow and will do for someone.
So why waste it today?
Not in a cheesy Hallmark "I looked at the birds today and wrote a poem" crap, just the knowledge that despite all your well-laid plans it could be over in 10 minutes from now for you.
Abusive Stepfather:
Taught me things about life you don't learn from school/college/books/tv.
Some people are evil, regardless of what you do or say.
Evil exists.
But also made me who I am. I will not tolerate bullying/threatening behaviour from anybody.
I don't care how big you are or how many there are of you, the gift of fury is far greater than your strength and if I see you giving anyone hassle I will destroy you - without hesitation or worry.
Happens on the tube, drunk blokes being mouthy to a woman.
Everyone puts their head down and ignores it but I won't, I'll get in your face before you know what hit you.
It's not being "hard", it's sticking up for someone because you never know when you'll need it yourself, and sometimes there isn't anyone to protect you and that's the loneliest feeling on this planet - to need help and to not get it.
Playing the drums:
Always wanted to since I was a kid. Taught myself and played in some rubbish college bands but I did it.
Am now in one of the best unsigned bands around and you *will* hear about us, I promise.
I can take jokes about anything except my drumming, because I'm damned good at it and if you ever see me playing, I give it 100% because I belong up there pounding away.
It gave me the confidence to talk to anyone, because after playing in front of 400 people it's not hard to speak to a single person.
Suicidal Tendencies:
An LA skatecore band that had a song called "Can't Bring Me Down" - the 1st song I felt that was written for me and me alone.
It defines me totally and perfectly.
Realising I'm not crap:
Be it music, writing or wooing the ladies. I have realised that I am bloody good at what I set my mind to and make the most of it.
I may not look like much, but I have it where it counts
*taps chest* In here.
A fire that can never be put out, a passion for music/life that is bigger than this planet
My mates:
Because without them I have nobody to rely on and nobody to fight for.
You are your friends and you can judge yourself by the company you keep.
I love my mates without question or judgement.
Hearing Bill Hicks for the 1st time:
A man that spoke outloud my secret and special thoughts.
----
That's enough for now.
A few moments/things that make Goatboy who he is.
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