Viewing Thread:
"Ban the Whale!"

Approximatley 14% of the World's oxygen is produced by Plankton. Our continued (mis) use of the Earth's natural resources is slowly eating away at the environment's ability to convert C02 into O2. We need all the oxygen-producing allies we can find.

Step forward the Whale. What have they ever done for us? Two things spring to mind; provide inspiration for the name of a country and allow us to produce cheap tapes and CD's that can be bought from New Age shops featuring dreadful Whale humping noises. What have they done against us? Systematically eradicated (without remorse) our Planktonian friends. Every day a Whale consumes enough Plankton, that could have produced enough Oxygen to keep a small village in Hampshire alive for one minute. In effect they have declared war on us.

The solution is simple. We should tear down every rainforest in South America and use the wood (Mahogany only- we should chuck the rest into the Sea or burn it in skips) to build long man-sized spears and hunt them to extinction. It's the only way to be sure.

I think that the two Whale Species that we shouldn't exterminate are Sperm Whales (because they have a funny name) and Killer Whales (because they are actually Dolphins and they enjoy swimming around in miniscule paddling pools performing degrading tricks to amuse the simple folk).

It's about time we realised that most the problems in this World are not man-made and we attributed them to the real culprits. Animals.

Because they can't fight back.

Tiltawhirl wrote:
> LOL you're going to report it to your local and MP and Internet
> Watchdog..
>
> Tell me had you been drinking when you wrote that?

I was just p*** balling about loki saw through that though ;0)
finks loki is plenty smart ;0)

Mouldy Cheese wrote:
> butt wales r good! wales r big an blue an cute we shoulnt kill em u
> sik poohead

LOL Mouldy Cheese agrees

butt wales r good! wales r big an blue an cute we shoulnt kill em u sik poohead

LOL you're going to report it to your local and MP and Internet Watchdog..

Tell me had you been drinking when you wrote that?

loki wrote:
> davyboy wrote:
> After a report this morning that humans are useing 20% more
> resourses
> then that is in in the World it makes this post look even more ****
> .
> The post is stupid totally false and not one bit funny. and i wonder
> about staff members mentality choising it as a GAD.I seriously
> looking
> to report it to my local MP maybe and maybe the internet watch dog
> for
> allowing it.
>
>
> Heh, people are often wondering about my mentality. But seriously,
> there's a watch dog? Nobody told me there was a watch dog!
>
> *looks nervous*
>
> Anyway, thanks for that extremely well thought out and witty post
> though davyboy. I think...

Your welcome Loki and it was all my own work too not copyied ;0)

Simple solution. Lure the whales out by lining the coast of every body of water that has whales in it with Mega Drives running Ecco The Dolphin. Whales are a sucker for it. Leave huge bowls of uncooked rice next to each controller. The whales will naturally get sucked into playing Ecco, and will get peckish after a while. They'll wolf down the rice (which whales are very partial to - expains why loads of them live in the Far East), and then once completing Ecco, will swim back into the oceans.

At this point, all the uncooked rice in their stomachs will be flooded with seawater, and will expand to the size of a Space Shuttle booster stage. Problem solved.

I thank you.

Good

davyboy wrote:
> After a report this morning that humans are useing 20% more resourses
> then that is in in the World it makes this post look even more **** .
> The post is stupid totally false and not one bit funny. and i wonder
> about staff members mentality choising it as a GAD.I seriously looking
> to report it to my local MP maybe and maybe the internet watch dog for
> allowing it.


Heh, people are often wondering about my mentality. But seriously, there's a watch dog? Nobody told me there was a watch dog!

*looks nervous*

Anyway, thanks for that extremely well thought out and witty post though davyboy. I think...

I was well aware of the satirical content, more aware that it missed most people. I just like talking about fish.

I blame my parents...

Sshh, no need to ruin it further Mr Cake.