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A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling, ''If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I'd be a little bull.''
The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with, ''If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a little elephant.''
The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid, ''What if your dad was gay and your mom was a prostitute?!''
The kid smiles and says, ''I would be a bus driver!''
SO WHAT DO YOU THINK?
:D
The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with, ''If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a little elephant.''
The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid, ''What if your dad was gay and your mom was a prostitute?!''
The kid smiles and says, ''I would be a bus driver!''
SO WHAT DO YOU THINK?
:D
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LOL, nice one $lik, that was quality!! :D
Just got this one in an email, it's fairly amusing but not rude, but anyway, enjoy! :)
Atheist's Prayer
As an atheist walked through the forest, he smiled at the beauty that was all around him and said, "What natural wonders the powers of evolution have created."
Just then he heard a rustling near the river. He went to investigate and a 7-foot-tall grizzly bear was tearing down the path towards him him. The man took off like a shot, and when he got up the courage to look back, he saw the bear was catching up fast.
He tried with all his strength to pick up the pace, but he tripped and crashed to the ground. As he tried to get up, the bear jumped on his chest and picked up one paw to whack him.
The atheist screamed, "Oh my God!!!"
Time stopped! The bear froze. The forest was silent. Even the river stopped moving.
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice boomed from the heavens, "You deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don't exist, and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"
The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps could you make the bear a Christian?"
"Very well," the voice said.
The light went out, the river ran again, and the sounds of the forest resumed. And then the bear dropped its right paw, brought both paws together, bowed its head and spoke:
"Lord, for this food which I am about to receive, I am truly thankful."
what do you think? :D
slik ~_~
Atheist's Prayer
As an atheist walked through the forest, he smiled at the beauty that was all around him and said, "What natural wonders the powers of evolution have created."
Just then he heard a rustling near the river. He went to investigate and a 7-foot-tall grizzly bear was tearing down the path towards him him. The man took off like a shot, and when he got up the courage to look back, he saw the bear was catching up fast.
He tried with all his strength to pick up the pace, but he tripped and crashed to the ground. As he tried to get up, the bear jumped on his chest and picked up one paw to whack him.
The atheist screamed, "Oh my God!!!"
Time stopped! The bear froze. The forest was silent. Even the river stopped moving.
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice boomed from the heavens, "You deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don't exist, and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"
The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps could you make the bear a Christian?"
"Very well," the voice said.
The light went out, the river ran again, and the sounds of the forest resumed. And then the bear dropped its right paw, brought both paws together, bowed its head and spoke:
"Lord, for this food which I am about to receive, I am truly thankful."
what do you think? :D
slik ~_~
A proton, neutron and electron walk into a bar.
The Proton walks to the the bar and asks for a pint.
"2 quid please mate"
Proton gives the barman £2 and sits down.
The electron then asks for the same, pays and sits down next to his friend.
The neutron then asks for a pint and hands £2 to the barman but the barman gives it him back and says it's on the house.
Furious, the proton and electron storm to the bar and demand to know why he gets his drink for free.
The barman says "It's simple lads, there's no charge on him!"
Benefit of a Chemistry degree people!
*goes red and retires back into the corner*
The Proton walks to the the bar and asks for a pint.
"2 quid please mate"
Proton gives the barman £2 and sits down.
The electron then asks for the same, pays and sits down next to his friend.
The neutron then asks for a pint and hands £2 to the barman but the barman gives it him back and says it's on the house.
Furious, the proton and electron storm to the bar and demand to know why he gets his drink for free.
The barman says "It's simple lads, there's no charge on him!"
Benefit of a Chemistry degree people!
*goes red and retires back into the corner*
This one is very good:
Q. What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree ?
A. Hold on to your nuts, this is going to be a hell of a BL***OB !
Q. What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree ?
A. Hold on to your nuts, this is going to be a hell of a BL***OB !
OK HERE IS ANOTHER ONE:
Two fellas are fishing in a boat under a bridge. One looks up and sees a funeral procession starting across the bridge. He stands up, takes off his cap, and bows his head. The procession crosses the bridge and the man puts on his cap, picks up his rod and reel, and continues fishing.
The other guy says, "That was touching. I didn't know you had it in you."
The first guy responds, "Well, I guess it was the thing to do - after all, I was married to her for 40 years."
Two fellas are fishing in a boat under a bridge. One looks up and sees a funeral procession starting across the bridge. He stands up, takes off his cap, and bows his head. The procession crosses the bridge and the man puts on his cap, picks up his rod and reel, and continues fishing.
The other guy says, "That was touching. I didn't know you had it in you."
The first guy responds, "Well, I guess it was the thing to do - after all, I was married to her for 40 years."
heh some good jokes, some awful ones
LOL, very good
Do you know how to stop an afghanistan tank?
HERE IT IS?
Shoot the men pushing it?
HoHoHoHoHoHoHo
Do you know how to stop an afghanistan tank?
HERE IT IS?
Shoot the men pushing it?
HoHoHoHoHoHoHo
:D... good joke... must remember that one... CYA!
Lol Shanks. And the original one. Lololol :o)
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