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Headteacher Tony called out the register on the school bus. He was expecting some comical replies, these being the unruliest collection of schoolchildren (and teachers) that he had ever seen, but there were none. He suspected this was because the top 100 posters table doesn’t copy and paste very well at all, and the writer was a bit pushed for time.
Ratably Skink
Grix Thrives
Goatboy
Kid Rock
Turbonutter
Ant
Er-no
Your Honor
Sniper
Wookie
FantasyMeister
Meka Dragon
Ortaga
Sheepy
Mystique
AfroJoe
Ice Blaster
Tiltawhirl
Dan2K2 (Tony thought what stupid names all these people had)
SSXpro
Bonus
Tony…Oh, that was him. Cool. It sounded like a fun trip anyway, going to the zoo and all.
Stryke
Dringo
Strafex
Starlight
Longy…Tony couldn’t pronounce the two letters on the end of his name, so he just ignored them.
Time Warp
Mattyboy
The Game
Armitage Shanks
Pb
Pro Evo
Big slow
DeltaJava
SonicRav
Jetster
The Vottanator
Venombyte
ResEvil Fan
Reaper
Triple H
Fish-e
I am The Tarrent
Seifer
Slaveunit
Edgy
Fogmaster
Aliboy
Grandprix
Beware the toast
David
Adrian
Lord Semegal…Damn rich kids.
Joe Dark…Damn secret agents in training
Talkie Toaster…Damn novelty gifts
M16
Nw Jimmy
CDouch
Sibs
Slik
Mouldy Cheese…what a handsome guy
Twain
GasMark
Natbuc
Weird Wonder
Beanz
Cookie Monster…Wookies cousin, Tony assumed.
Cooky
Little Hedgehog
Shocktrooper
Mr. Snuggly…one of the teachers
Doughnut Monster
Magma Dragoon
Slipknot…He was currently smashing his head against the wall of the bus.
Monkey With Attitude
Solskjar 24
Vai
Shadow
Nomad Soul
Mr. Nice Guy
Quazimodo
Asher D
Monkey Man
Majk
Whooo Style
Rickoss
Iguana
Ben Hodgettes...what a gimp, Tony thinks.
Willow
Cjh
Darkness 2k
Lefback
Mantis
CJC
Uncle Albert
Snoop Doggy Dan
JaCee UK
Uksgamer2002
Golden Rhino
Whoo…long list that, thinks Tony. 99 of the little schmucks, + him = 100 people. How would they all fit into the zoo? It can’t be a very big zoo…Tony, an expert in farm animals, had never heard of it. Tony ducked as Monkey With Attitude swung over his head. He was used to all these animal like humans by now.
Tony takes a long sip on his drink, handily supplied by one of the suit clad government men who had insisted they come on the trip. In fact, they were funding the whole thing, which was pretty nice of them. Reminded him of a film he once watched actually…
Tony was just thinking how goddamn nice it was that they were funding it, when the door of the bus swung open, and a figure, silhouetted by sunlight, walked in the door.
Tony sighed. Shaneo was back, despite being expelled 6 times already.
“Shaneo, what are you doing back here?”
The figure looked uneasy, and replied in a Homer Simpson Double voice “Shaneo? Who is zis Shaneo? My name is Saleeva. I have a girlfriend, and I am in a band.”
He must have a new address. Damn Microsoft, giving away houses for free.
“Alright, Saleeva, come aboard. You may as well”.
Shaneo smiled, and took the last seat on the bus.
----
Soon, the drinks drugged by the government officials started to take effect. All 101 characters fell into a deep slumber.
----
Sheepy woke up in a hut. His first attempt at thought was to try and remember how much he had drunk last night – why else would he wake up lying on the floor? Sheepy rolled over onto one side, looking for anyone else. No one there. Damn. A sudden horror rushed through Sheep’s body, prompting him to jump up and look out the hut windows. No sheep. Thank God for that. He’d never lived it down after the first time.
Then he remembered – wasn’t he supposed to be at the zoo about now? Or had he managed to get drunk before he got there? The last thing he remembered was thinking how comfortable the coach seats looked…
His questions were answered by a sheet of paper he found lying where his prone body had been. It was A4, printed in black ink.
Sheepy prayed for it not to be a homework assignment.
The note read:
YOU have been selected to take part in Rattle Boyale. You have no choice about this. You will see that you have been given a weapon. The weapon is different for different people. You will not need to eat or drink, because it would just hinder the story. Basically, you all have to kill each other. The last man standing is the winner.
You cannot post more than once a day, and you cannot kill off more than one character per post. Don’t kill off people just because you don’t like them, and if you can’t remember who’s been killed off then ask me to send you a list.
Anyone can post in this story, unless I decide that you suck.
---
Sheepy looked around, and he saw his weapon. A bottle of Vodka. He decided that it would be a better weapon when empty, so he popped the top off with a *click*.
Ratably Skink
Grix Thrives
Goatboy
Kid Rock
Turbonutter
Ant
Er-no
Your Honor
Sniper
Wookie
FantasyMeister
Meka Dragon
Ortaga
Sheepy
Mystique
AfroJoe
Ice Blaster
Tiltawhirl
Dan2K2 (Tony thought what stupid names all these people had)
SSXpro
Bonus
Tony…Oh, that was him. Cool. It sounded like a fun trip anyway, going to the zoo and all.
Stryke
Dringo
Strafex
Starlight
Longy…Tony couldn’t pronounce the two letters on the end of his name, so he just ignored them.
Time Warp
Mattyboy
The Game
Armitage Shanks
Pb
Pro Evo
Big slow
DeltaJava
SonicRav
Jetster
The Vottanator
Venombyte
ResEvil Fan
Reaper
Triple H
Fish-e
I am The Tarrent
Seifer
Slaveunit
Edgy
Fogmaster
Aliboy
Grandprix
Beware the toast
David
Adrian
Lord Semegal…Damn rich kids.
Joe Dark…Damn secret agents in training
Talkie Toaster…Damn novelty gifts
M16
Nw Jimmy
CDouch
Sibs
Slik
Mouldy Cheese…what a handsome guy
Twain
GasMark
Natbuc
Weird Wonder
Beanz
Cookie Monster…Wookies cousin, Tony assumed.
Cooky
Little Hedgehog
Shocktrooper
Mr. Snuggly…one of the teachers
Doughnut Monster
Magma Dragoon
Slipknot…He was currently smashing his head against the wall of the bus.
Monkey With Attitude
Solskjar 24
Vai
Shadow
Nomad Soul
Mr. Nice Guy
Quazimodo
Asher D
Monkey Man
Majk
Whooo Style
Rickoss
Iguana
Ben Hodgettes...what a gimp, Tony thinks.
Willow
Cjh
Darkness 2k
Lefback
Mantis
CJC
Uncle Albert
Snoop Doggy Dan
JaCee UK
Uksgamer2002
Golden Rhino
Whoo…long list that, thinks Tony. 99 of the little schmucks, + him = 100 people. How would they all fit into the zoo? It can’t be a very big zoo…Tony, an expert in farm animals, had never heard of it. Tony ducked as Monkey With Attitude swung over his head. He was used to all these animal like humans by now.
Tony takes a long sip on his drink, handily supplied by one of the suit clad government men who had insisted they come on the trip. In fact, they were funding the whole thing, which was pretty nice of them. Reminded him of a film he once watched actually…
Tony was just thinking how goddamn nice it was that they were funding it, when the door of the bus swung open, and a figure, silhouetted by sunlight, walked in the door.
Tony sighed. Shaneo was back, despite being expelled 6 times already.
“Shaneo, what are you doing back here?”
The figure looked uneasy, and replied in a Homer Simpson Double voice “Shaneo? Who is zis Shaneo? My name is Saleeva. I have a girlfriend, and I am in a band.”
He must have a new address. Damn Microsoft, giving away houses for free.
“Alright, Saleeva, come aboard. You may as well”.
Shaneo smiled, and took the last seat on the bus.
----
Soon, the drinks drugged by the government officials started to take effect. All 101 characters fell into a deep slumber.
----
Sheepy woke up in a hut. His first attempt at thought was to try and remember how much he had drunk last night – why else would he wake up lying on the floor? Sheepy rolled over onto one side, looking for anyone else. No one there. Damn. A sudden horror rushed through Sheep’s body, prompting him to jump up and look out the hut windows. No sheep. Thank God for that. He’d never lived it down after the first time.
Then he remembered – wasn’t he supposed to be at the zoo about now? Or had he managed to get drunk before he got there? The last thing he remembered was thinking how comfortable the coach seats looked…
His questions were answered by a sheet of paper he found lying where his prone body had been. It was A4, printed in black ink.
Sheepy prayed for it not to be a homework assignment.
The note read:
YOU have been selected to take part in Rattle Boyale. You have no choice about this. You will see that you have been given a weapon. The weapon is different for different people. You will not need to eat or drink, because it would just hinder the story. Basically, you all have to kill each other. The last man standing is the winner.
You cannot post more than once a day, and you cannot kill off more than one character per post. Don’t kill off people just because you don’t like them, and if you can’t remember who’s been killed off then ask me to send you a list.
Anyone can post in this story, unless I decide that you suck.
---
Sheepy looked around, and he saw his weapon. A bottle of Vodka. He decided that it would be a better weapon when empty, so he popped the top off with a *click*.
Page:
Dogsnuts was sitting under a tree. It was raining. Dogsnuts was wet and cold, and scared. His weapon was a rocket launcher. He didn't know how to use it.
He hadn't thought about reading the instructions, however, which could help explain his lack of understanding.
Still, it didn't matter.
Dogsnuts was about to die. And then, thought Kid Rock, he could get the rocket launcher and win this thing, yeah!
Kid Rock was armed with an army type thing. He had found it on the ground, remnants of some other fight. It was a small arm, but heavy enough to inflict major damage.
KR was sneaking through the undergrowth, towards Dogsnuts.
"Aaarrrggggghhhhhhh-" yelled KR as he came running towards Dogsnuts. He was slightly premature, as Dogsnuts was the otherside of the clearing, some 200 metres distant.
Still, 10 out of 10 for trying, eh?
Dogsnuts looked up, wondering where the noise was coming from. Not being able to see Kid Rock, as he was a child and very short, he looked back into his lap at the rocket launcher.
He saw an "Idiot's guide to using a rocket launcher" printed on the side of the weapon.
"Rrrraaaarrrrggggggghhhhh!!!!" Kid Rock stopped, out of breath, still only half way across the glade. Purple and blue dots danced in front of his eyes.
If only he had done some exercise, instead of posting 24 hours a day on th 'net, he thought.
Dogsnuts looked at the instruction panel, no being able to see KR for the first time.
"Pull pin." Read Dogsnuts, doing the instruction as he read. KR started running again. "Extend." KR was now over halfway across the glade, getting faster and faster, nearer and nearer all the time.
"Load rocket." KR was getting closer and closer, Dogsnuts could see the arm he was, er, armed with. "Aim through here, push this." Dogsnuts looked up to see KR explode into a big, damp, red mushy type cloud type thing.
The arm that KR had been carrying sprialled out of the cloud, and landed next to Dogsnuts.
"Hmm, he seems pretty 'armless now." Chuckled Dogsnuts.
Wookiee had overheard Dogsnuts comment, and pulled out his mobile phone, dialling a number.
"Hello, yes? Is that the Comedy Police? Good. I'd like to report a serious crime..."
He hadn't thought about reading the instructions, however, which could help explain his lack of understanding.
Still, it didn't matter.
Dogsnuts was about to die. And then, thought Kid Rock, he could get the rocket launcher and win this thing, yeah!
Kid Rock was armed with an army type thing. He had found it on the ground, remnants of some other fight. It was a small arm, but heavy enough to inflict major damage.
KR was sneaking through the undergrowth, towards Dogsnuts.
"Aaarrrggggghhhhhhh-" yelled KR as he came running towards Dogsnuts. He was slightly premature, as Dogsnuts was the otherside of the clearing, some 200 metres distant.
Still, 10 out of 10 for trying, eh?
Dogsnuts looked up, wondering where the noise was coming from. Not being able to see Kid Rock, as he was a child and very short, he looked back into his lap at the rocket launcher.
He saw an "Idiot's guide to using a rocket launcher" printed on the side of the weapon.
"Rrrraaaarrrrggggggghhhhh!!!!" Kid Rock stopped, out of breath, still only half way across the glade. Purple and blue dots danced in front of his eyes.
If only he had done some exercise, instead of posting 24 hours a day on th 'net, he thought.
Dogsnuts looked at the instruction panel, no being able to see KR for the first time.
"Pull pin." Read Dogsnuts, doing the instruction as he read. KR started running again. "Extend." KR was now over halfway across the glade, getting faster and faster, nearer and nearer all the time.
"Load rocket." KR was getting closer and closer, Dogsnuts could see the arm he was, er, armed with. "Aim through here, push this." Dogsnuts looked up to see KR explode into a big, damp, red mushy type cloud type thing.
The arm that KR had been carrying sprialled out of the cloud, and landed next to Dogsnuts.
"Hmm, he seems pretty 'armless now." Chuckled Dogsnuts.
Wookiee had overheard Dogsnuts comment, and pulled out his mobile phone, dialling a number.
"Hello, yes? Is that the Comedy Police? Good. I'd like to report a serious crime..."
Why am i not surprised Sniper is dead? :-D
VemonByte row-row-rowed his boat, gently down the stream. He had wondered why his weapon was a harpoon with a few spare...what do you call spare harpoon ammo, thought Vemon?
"Harps." he said, out loud. That sounded right, even though it was wrong.
Then he was found this quaint little rowing boat. he had wondered about that too, but the name of the boat was "Quaint Little Rowing Boat". So he didn't question it, and rowed on. Twas a peaceful day, full of sunshine and happy bunnies and the like.
He had to applaud the games hospitality. They had even given him a silver necklace. Granted, it was camp, but that suited VemonByte. He had found himself with a ponytail and a goatee. Not again, he had thought. Without needing to look he knew he'd be wearing a pink tanktop.
"Harps." he said again. It definitely sounded right.
"There you are!" said a voice from the bank. Vemon spun around and fired the harpoon. Unfortunately, it wasn't loaded.
"Oh, sugar." said Vemon. "Oh, it's only you, Neville. Won't be a tick."
Safety Concious Neville was sitting camply on the shore, making a daisy chain.
"I'm a sailor." said VemonByte, gesturing at the boat proudly.
"I know! Me too!" said Neville.
"No, I mean...Oh forget it. Can I have some daisies?"
They started to make a MASSIVE daisy chain. VemonByte thought they could use it to escape the island. Neville thought it looked fetching.
"Where did you come from, Neville?"
"Second star to the right, straight on till morning." said Neville. Camply, of course.
Then YH burst from the bushes.
"AAAH! Don't hurt me, I'm a fairy!" said Neville.
"True." said YH, and shot him in the head with the crossbow.
Vemonbyte got up and danced happily. Like a fairy.
"I'm safe! You can only kill one person per post! I'm safe!"
YH looked sadly at this site for a minute, and picked up the harpoon.
"Hey, my harps!" yelled Vemon.
Then Yh shot VemonByte in the head with the harpoon.
"The word is harpoon, fool. Gibber." said YH.
Had he just said gibber? Maybe he was crazy.
Then YH pushed both bodies into the water. For no particular reason.
He was crazy, you see.
"Harps." he said, out loud. That sounded right, even though it was wrong.
Then he was found this quaint little rowing boat. he had wondered about that too, but the name of the boat was "Quaint Little Rowing Boat". So he didn't question it, and rowed on. Twas a peaceful day, full of sunshine and happy bunnies and the like.
He had to applaud the games hospitality. They had even given him a silver necklace. Granted, it was camp, but that suited VemonByte. He had found himself with a ponytail and a goatee. Not again, he had thought. Without needing to look he knew he'd be wearing a pink tanktop.
"Harps." he said again. It definitely sounded right.
"There you are!" said a voice from the bank. Vemon spun around and fired the harpoon. Unfortunately, it wasn't loaded.
"Oh, sugar." said Vemon. "Oh, it's only you, Neville. Won't be a tick."
Safety Concious Neville was sitting camply on the shore, making a daisy chain.
"I'm a sailor." said VemonByte, gesturing at the boat proudly.
"I know! Me too!" said Neville.
"No, I mean...Oh forget it. Can I have some daisies?"
They started to make a MASSIVE daisy chain. VemonByte thought they could use it to escape the island. Neville thought it looked fetching.
"Where did you come from, Neville?"
"Second star to the right, straight on till morning." said Neville. Camply, of course.
Then YH burst from the bushes.
"AAAH! Don't hurt me, I'm a fairy!" said Neville.
"True." said YH, and shot him in the head with the crossbow.
Vemonbyte got up and danced happily. Like a fairy.
"I'm safe! You can only kill one person per post! I'm safe!"
YH looked sadly at this site for a minute, and picked up the harpoon.
"Hey, my harps!" yelled Vemon.
Then Yh shot VemonByte in the head with the harpoon.
"The word is harpoon, fool. Gibber." said YH.
Had he just said gibber? Maybe he was crazy.
Then YH pushed both bodies into the water. For no particular reason.
He was crazy, you see.
Nope - MC missed one off, so here's the correct standings:
Ratably Skink
Grix Thrives
Goatboy
Kid Rock
Turbonutter
Ant
Er-no
Your Honor
Sniper – Killed by FM
Wookie
FantasyMeister
Meka Dragon
Ortaga
Sheepy
Mystique
AfroJoe
Ice Blaster - Poisened
Tiltawhirl
Dan2K2
SSXpro
Bonus
Tony – Killed by Snuggly
Stryke
Dringo
Strafex
Starlight
Long
Time Warp – Killed by Your Honour
Mattyboy
The Game
Armitage Shanks
Pb
Pro Evo
Big slow
DeltaJava
SonicRav
Jetster – Killed by Nomad Soul
The Vottanator - Killed by Your Honour
Venombyte
ResEvil Fan
Reaper – Killed by Iguana
Triple H
Fish-e
I am The Tarrent
Seifer - Killed by Salevaa
Slaveunit
Edgy
Fogmaster
Aliboy
Grandprix
Beware the toast
David
Adrian
Lord Semegal…
Joe Dark…
Talkie Toaster…
M16
Nw Jimmy
CDouch
Sibs
Slik
Mouldy Cheese
Twain
GasMark – Killed by pb
Natbuc
Weird Wonder
Beanz
Cookie Monster
Cooky
Little Hedgehog
Shocktrooper
Mr. Snuggly
Doughnut Monster
Magma Dragoon
Slipknot – Killed by Turbonutter
Monkey With Attitude
Solskjar 24
Vai
Shadow – Killed by Wookie
Nomad Soul – Killed by Mr. Nice Guy
Mr. Nice Guy
Quazimodo
Asher D
Monkey Man
Majk – Killed by Sniper
Whooo Style
Rickoss
Iguana
Ben Hodgettes
Willow
Cjh – Killed by Cheese.
Darkness 2k
Lefback
Mantis
CJC
Uncle Albert
Snoop Doggy Dan
JaCee UK - Killed by Chainsaw Cooky
Uksgamer2002
Golden Rhino – Bullet in leg via Reaper
Bill Hicks
16 down (17 if you include the chipendales dancer) - 87 to go (including Salevaa)
Ratably Skink
Grix Thrives
Goatboy
Kid Rock
Turbonutter
Ant
Er-no
Your Honor
Sniper – Killed by FM
Wookie
FantasyMeister
Meka Dragon
Ortaga
Sheepy
Mystique
AfroJoe
Ice Blaster - Poisened
Tiltawhirl
Dan2K2
SSXpro
Bonus
Tony – Killed by Snuggly
Stryke
Dringo
Strafex
Starlight
Long
Time Warp – Killed by Your Honour
Mattyboy
The Game
Armitage Shanks
Pb
Pro Evo
Big slow
DeltaJava
SonicRav
Jetster – Killed by Nomad Soul
The Vottanator - Killed by Your Honour
Venombyte
ResEvil Fan
Reaper – Killed by Iguana
Triple H
Fish-e
I am The Tarrent
Seifer - Killed by Salevaa
Slaveunit
Edgy
Fogmaster
Aliboy
Grandprix
Beware the toast
David
Adrian
Lord Semegal…
Joe Dark…
Talkie Toaster…
M16
Nw Jimmy
CDouch
Sibs
Slik
Mouldy Cheese
Twain
GasMark – Killed by pb
Natbuc
Weird Wonder
Beanz
Cookie Monster
Cooky
Little Hedgehog
Shocktrooper
Mr. Snuggly
Doughnut Monster
Magma Dragoon
Slipknot – Killed by Turbonutter
Monkey With Attitude
Solskjar 24
Vai
Shadow – Killed by Wookie
Nomad Soul – Killed by Mr. Nice Guy
Mr. Nice Guy
Quazimodo
Asher D
Monkey Man
Majk – Killed by Sniper
Whooo Style
Rickoss
Iguana
Ben Hodgettes
Willow
Cjh – Killed by Cheese.
Darkness 2k
Lefback
Mantis
CJC
Uncle Albert
Snoop Doggy Dan
JaCee UK - Killed by Chainsaw Cooky
Uksgamer2002
Golden Rhino – Bullet in leg via Reaper
Bill Hicks
16 down (17 if you include the chipendales dancer) - 87 to go (including Salevaa)
Shaneo walks through some tough bushes and a massive tree that stands before him. He for some reason holds a large kit bag in one hand and a string-along suitcase in the other. How in the hell did the scripting supervisor oversee that!?
"This should be good enough."
Shaneo unzips his kit bag and takes out what is inside.
"I always wanted to be a drummer, ye know!"
He sets up two drums and begins playing - this attracts some attention by nearby "players" in Battle Royale. Someone emerges from the mystique, and no, it wasn't mystique.
"What the hell is going on here!?", says the voice.
"Seifer...um...er..."
"Save it Shaneo - I'm killing you. Does this bring back any memories?"
Seifer brandishes a print out. Shaneo begins to read it aloud.
"Two Ugly Faggots by Shaneo. Hi, Mr Nice Guy found thi..."
Seifer interupts, "Save it again. I have double-uzis and if that doesn't kill you, something else will, because the script-writers told me."
"Ok, ok. But b..b..befo..re I d..d..die, can I play a li..i..ittle beat on my drums?"
"Ok, but make it quick! Your death is imminent and this movie isn't intended to be over two hours long - how would it fit on the DVD? Huh? Huh?"
Shaneo plays the drums for a moment or two before finishing.
"One more thing Seifer."
"Yes?"
"I got a re-write!"
"Huh?"
Shaneo aims his drum sticks and is about to throw them when a knife bursts from the stomach of Seifer, leaving him dead. Who killed Seifer?
"Hello?"
The person walks over to Shaneo.
"Salevaa!?"
"Yes?"
"But you're me! How did you get out of my body!?"
"Whenever a schizophrenic is threatened, his alter ego leaves the hosts body and into someone else's. When we sense imminent death, we get the chance to kill the victim in choice and take over his body."
Salevaa begins to walk off, but as Shaneo speaks he stops in his tracks and pivots around.
"You can't just leave! This is an island with 80-odd nutters in and we can't split up! Wouldn't it be best if we stayed together?"
"Er...no."
"So you wanna see Er-No now?"
"No...I'm going...erm..."
Salevaa runs.
"Salevaa! Come baaaack!"
----------
The scene switches to Mr Snuggly, who is sitting in a rather large chair, chomping on a stick of cheese and sipping from some cult drink on earth. The door flies open, and Snuggly turns his attention. A man walks up to him.
"Who the feck are you?"
"I'm the chipendales dancer you ordered, sir."
"I didn't order any chipendales dancer!"
"Damn. Maybe you ordered something else?"
"Well yes, I did..."
"They mixed up chipendales dancer with strippers?", whispers the chipendales dancer.
"What's that?"
"Nothing. Well, later. I'm gonna ream the guys in dispatch. You see, I'm actually a barbarian later tonight."
The chipendales dancer brandishes a malet and Snuggly and the guards are scared by this and so brandish their weapons.
"What? It's a plastic malet god damn you - it's a mooovieee!"
"Get him!"
Within seconds, he is peppered with over 100 bullets.
"Clean up on aisle 7!"
Ratably Skink
Grix Thrives
Goatboy
Kid Rock
Turbonutter
Ant
Er-no
Your Honor
Sniper – Killed by FM
Wookie
FantasyMeister
Meka Dragon
Ortaga
Sheepy
Mystique
AfroJoe
Ice Blaster - Poisened
Tiltawhirl
Dan2K2
SSXpro
Bonus
Tony – Killed by Snuggly
Stryke
Dringo
Strafex
Starlight
Long
Time Warp – Killed by Your Honour
Mattyboy
The Game
Armitage Shanks
Pb
Pro Evo
Big slow
DeltaJava
SonicRav
Jetster – Killed by Nomad Soul
The Vottanator - Killed by Your Honour
Venombyte
ResEvil Fan
Reaper – Killed by Iguana
Triple H
Fish-e
I am The Tarrent
Seifer - Killed by Salevaa
Slaveunit
Edgy
Fogmaster
Aliboy
Grandprix
Beware the toast
David
Adrian
Lord Semegal…
Joe Dark…
Talkie Toaster…
M16
Nw Jimmy
CDouch
Sibs
Slik
Mouldy Cheese
Twain
GasMark – Killed by pb
Natbuc
Weird Wonder
Beanz
Cookie Monster
Cooky
Little Hedgehog
Shocktrooper
Mr. Snuggly
Doughnut Monster
Magma Dragoon
Slipknot – Killed by Turbonutter
Monkey With Attitude
Solskjar 24
Vai
Shadow – Killed by Wookie
Nomad Soul – Killed by Mr. Nice Guy
Mr. Nice Guy
Quazimodo
Asher D
Monkey Man
Majk – Killed by Sniper
Whooo Style
Rickoss
Iguana
Ben Hodgettes
Willow
Cjh – Killed by Cheese.
Darkness 2k
Lefback
Mantis
CJC
Uncle Albert
Snoop Doggy Dan
JaCee UK
Uksgamer2002
Golden Rhino – Bullet in leg via Reaper
Bill Hicks
15 down (16 if you include the chipendales dancer) - 88 to go (including Salevaa)
"This should be good enough."
Shaneo unzips his kit bag and takes out what is inside.
"I always wanted to be a drummer, ye know!"
He sets up two drums and begins playing - this attracts some attention by nearby "players" in Battle Royale. Someone emerges from the mystique, and no, it wasn't mystique.
"What the hell is going on here!?", says the voice.
"Seifer...um...er..."
"Save it Shaneo - I'm killing you. Does this bring back any memories?"
Seifer brandishes a print out. Shaneo begins to read it aloud.
"Two Ugly Faggots by Shaneo. Hi, Mr Nice Guy found thi..."
Seifer interupts, "Save it again. I have double-uzis and if that doesn't kill you, something else will, because the script-writers told me."
"Ok, ok. But b..b..befo..re I d..d..die, can I play a li..i..ittle beat on my drums?"
"Ok, but make it quick! Your death is imminent and this movie isn't intended to be over two hours long - how would it fit on the DVD? Huh? Huh?"
Shaneo plays the drums for a moment or two before finishing.
"One more thing Seifer."
"Yes?"
"I got a re-write!"
"Huh?"
Shaneo aims his drum sticks and is about to throw them when a knife bursts from the stomach of Seifer, leaving him dead. Who killed Seifer?
"Hello?"
The person walks over to Shaneo.
"Salevaa!?"
"Yes?"
"But you're me! How did you get out of my body!?"
"Whenever a schizophrenic is threatened, his alter ego leaves the hosts body and into someone else's. When we sense imminent death, we get the chance to kill the victim in choice and take over his body."
Salevaa begins to walk off, but as Shaneo speaks he stops in his tracks and pivots around.
"You can't just leave! This is an island with 80-odd nutters in and we can't split up! Wouldn't it be best if we stayed together?"
"Er...no."
"So you wanna see Er-No now?"
"No...I'm going...erm..."
Salevaa runs.
"Salevaa! Come baaaack!"
----------
The scene switches to Mr Snuggly, who is sitting in a rather large chair, chomping on a stick of cheese and sipping from some cult drink on earth. The door flies open, and Snuggly turns his attention. A man walks up to him.
"Who the feck are you?"
"I'm the chipendales dancer you ordered, sir."
"I didn't order any chipendales dancer!"
"Damn. Maybe you ordered something else?"
"Well yes, I did..."
"They mixed up chipendales dancer with strippers?", whispers the chipendales dancer.
"What's that?"
"Nothing. Well, later. I'm gonna ream the guys in dispatch. You see, I'm actually a barbarian later tonight."
The chipendales dancer brandishes a malet and Snuggly and the guards are scared by this and so brandish their weapons.
"What? It's a plastic malet god damn you - it's a mooovieee!"
"Get him!"
Within seconds, he is peppered with over 100 bullets.
"Clean up on aisle 7!"
Ratably Skink
Grix Thrives
Goatboy
Kid Rock
Turbonutter
Ant
Er-no
Your Honor
Sniper – Killed by FM
Wookie
FantasyMeister
Meka Dragon
Ortaga
Sheepy
Mystique
AfroJoe
Ice Blaster - Poisened
Tiltawhirl
Dan2K2
SSXpro
Bonus
Tony – Killed by Snuggly
Stryke
Dringo
Strafex
Starlight
Long
Time Warp – Killed by Your Honour
Mattyboy
The Game
Armitage Shanks
Pb
Pro Evo
Big slow
DeltaJava
SonicRav
Jetster – Killed by Nomad Soul
The Vottanator - Killed by Your Honour
Venombyte
ResEvil Fan
Reaper – Killed by Iguana
Triple H
Fish-e
I am The Tarrent
Seifer - Killed by Salevaa
Slaveunit
Edgy
Fogmaster
Aliboy
Grandprix
Beware the toast
David
Adrian
Lord Semegal…
Joe Dark…
Talkie Toaster…
M16
Nw Jimmy
CDouch
Sibs
Slik
Mouldy Cheese
Twain
GasMark – Killed by pb
Natbuc
Weird Wonder
Beanz
Cookie Monster
Cooky
Little Hedgehog
Shocktrooper
Mr. Snuggly
Doughnut Monster
Magma Dragoon
Slipknot – Killed by Turbonutter
Monkey With Attitude
Solskjar 24
Vai
Shadow – Killed by Wookie
Nomad Soul – Killed by Mr. Nice Guy
Mr. Nice Guy
Quazimodo
Asher D
Monkey Man
Majk – Killed by Sniper
Whooo Style
Rickoss
Iguana
Ben Hodgettes
Willow
Cjh – Killed by Cheese.
Darkness 2k
Lefback
Mantis
CJC
Uncle Albert
Snoop Doggy Dan
JaCee UK
Uksgamer2002
Golden Rhino – Bullet in leg via Reaper
Bill Hicks
15 down (16 if you include the chipendales dancer) - 88 to go (including Salevaa)
Vottanator was smug in the rain. He had been given an umbrella as a weapon, but he had no intention of killing anyone. Instead he found a deserted street and was skipping around, twirling the umbrella.
"I'm siiiiinging in the rain!"
And indeed he was. He was happy about this, but puzzled where all his friends were. Surely a chance to sing in the rain could not be passed up for anyone? Vottanator shrugged, and wondered about many philosophical things. Like if this island had a KFC. And a cinema! Vottanator was eager to see a girly film like Heartbreakers, because it suited him to a tee.
Then he was attracted a window showing a film. It was HEAT! Vottanator decided that watching a film in the rain was acceptable. He squatted down.
Then a crossbow bolt shattered the window and the T.V.! Vottanator jumped up with mock horror, for he had seen YH approaching in the reflection, and assumed he was attracted to the wonder that is Heat. But it was expected anyway. Then he realised, YH must have set the DVD up as a cunning plan to attract him. He could just have worn attractive colours, though Vottanator.
Then he ran away before another bolt slammed into the ground.
He yabbered like a sissy, and waved the umbrella about a bit. Then he realised he had run into an enclosede alley.
YH grinned.
"Haha. HAHAHAH. MUAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH!" he cackled.
"Finished?"
"Yeah, just about. MAUAHAHAHAH!"
"Don't kill me!" pleaded Vottanator.
"Well, I wouldn't, but the author is obviously typecasting me as the crazy guy. Here, catch!" said YH, and threw something at Vottanator.
"AAAH! IT'S A GRENADE!" shrieked Vottantor, and looked at it. "Oh, it's only Time Warp's head. No grenade. Phew!"
"Oh, knew I'd forgotten something." said YH, slapping his head. "Here, catch!"
Vottanator was the gullible sort, so he caught it.
"AAH! IT'S A GRE..."
YH dived for cover as the grenade blew up.
He couldn't help feeling that should have gone differently. He picked up the umbrella that had miraculously escaped damage, and skipped away. Because he was crazy, you see.
"I'm siiiiinging in the rain!"
And indeed he was. He was happy about this, but puzzled where all his friends were. Surely a chance to sing in the rain could not be passed up for anyone? Vottanator shrugged, and wondered about many philosophical things. Like if this island had a KFC. And a cinema! Vottanator was eager to see a girly film like Heartbreakers, because it suited him to a tee.
Then he was attracted a window showing a film. It was HEAT! Vottanator decided that watching a film in the rain was acceptable. He squatted down.
Then a crossbow bolt shattered the window and the T.V.! Vottanator jumped up with mock horror, for he had seen YH approaching in the reflection, and assumed he was attracted to the wonder that is Heat. But it was expected anyway. Then he realised, YH must have set the DVD up as a cunning plan to attract him. He could just have worn attractive colours, though Vottanator.
Then he ran away before another bolt slammed into the ground.
He yabbered like a sissy, and waved the umbrella about a bit. Then he realised he had run into an enclosede alley.
YH grinned.
"Haha. HAHAHAH. MUAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH!" he cackled.
"Finished?"
"Yeah, just about. MAUAHAHAHAH!"
"Don't kill me!" pleaded Vottanator.
"Well, I wouldn't, but the author is obviously typecasting me as the crazy guy. Here, catch!" said YH, and threw something at Vottanator.
"AAAH! IT'S A GRENADE!" shrieked Vottantor, and looked at it. "Oh, it's only Time Warp's head. No grenade. Phew!"
"Oh, knew I'd forgotten something." said YH, slapping his head. "Here, catch!"
Vottanator was the gullible sort, so he caught it.
"AAH! IT'S A GRE..."
YH dived for cover as the grenade blew up.
He couldn't help feeling that should have gone differently. He picked up the umbrella that had miraculously escaped damage, and skipped away. Because he was crazy, you see.
Ratably Skink
Grix Thrives
Goatboy
Kid Rock
Turbonutter
Ant
Er-no
Your Honor
Sniper – Killed by FM
Wookie
FantasyMeister
Meka Dragon
Ortaga
Sheepy
Mystique
AfroJoe
Ice Blaster - Poisened
Tiltawhirl
Dan2K2 SSXpro
Bonus
Tony – Killed by Snuggly
Stryke
Dringo
Strafex
Starlight
Long
Time Warp – Killed by YH
Mattyboy
The Game
Armitage Shanks
Pb
Pro Evo
Big slow
DeltaJava
SonicRav
Jetster – Killed by Nomad Soul
The Vottanator
Venombyte
ResEvil Fan
Reaper – Killed by iguana
Triple H
Fish-e
I am The Tarrent
Seifer
Slaveunit
Edgy
Fogmaster
Aliboy
Grandprix
Beware the toast
David
Adrian
Lord Semegal…
Joe Dark…
Talkie Toaster…
M16
Nw Jimmy
CDouch
Sibs
Slik
Mouldy Cheese
Twain
GasMark – Killed by pb
Natbuc
Weird Wonder
Beanz
Cookie Monster
Cooky
Little Hedgehog
Shocktrooper
Mr. Snuggly
Doughnut Monster
Magma Dragoon
Slipknot – Killed by Turbonutter
Monkey With Attitude
Solskjar 24
Vai
Shadow – Killed by Wookie
Nomad Soul – Killed by Mr. Nice Guy
Mr. Nice Guy
Quazimodo
Asher D
Monkey Man
Majk – Killed by Sniper
Whooo Style
Rickoss
Iguana
Ben Hodgettes
Willow
Cjh – Killed by Cheese.
Darkness 2k
Lefback
Mantis
CJC
Uncle Albert
Snoop Doggy Dan
JaCee UK
Uksgamer2002
Golden Rhino – Bullet in leg via Reaper
Bill Hicks
That is who is still alive, and who is dead. Please refer back to the original list in the first post so you know who is actually in the damn game.
Grix Thrives
Goatboy
Kid Rock
Turbonutter
Ant
Er-no
Your Honor
Sniper – Killed by FM
Wookie
FantasyMeister
Meka Dragon
Ortaga
Sheepy
Mystique
AfroJoe
Ice Blaster - Poisened
Tiltawhirl
Dan2K2 SSXpro
Bonus
Tony – Killed by Snuggly
Stryke
Dringo
Strafex
Starlight
Long
Time Warp – Killed by YH
Mattyboy
The Game
Armitage Shanks
Pb
Pro Evo
Big slow
DeltaJava
SonicRav
Jetster – Killed by Nomad Soul
The Vottanator
Venombyte
ResEvil Fan
Reaper – Killed by iguana
Triple H
Fish-e
I am The Tarrent
Seifer
Slaveunit
Edgy
Fogmaster
Aliboy
Grandprix
Beware the toast
David
Adrian
Lord Semegal…
Joe Dark…
Talkie Toaster…
M16
Nw Jimmy
CDouch
Sibs
Slik
Mouldy Cheese
Twain
GasMark – Killed by pb
Natbuc
Weird Wonder
Beanz
Cookie Monster
Cooky
Little Hedgehog
Shocktrooper
Mr. Snuggly
Doughnut Monster
Magma Dragoon
Slipknot – Killed by Turbonutter
Monkey With Attitude
Solskjar 24
Vai
Shadow – Killed by Wookie
Nomad Soul – Killed by Mr. Nice Guy
Mr. Nice Guy
Quazimodo
Asher D
Monkey Man
Majk – Killed by Sniper
Whooo Style
Rickoss
Iguana
Ben Hodgettes
Willow
Cjh – Killed by Cheese.
Darkness 2k
Lefback
Mantis
CJC
Uncle Albert
Snoop Doggy Dan
JaCee UK
Uksgamer2002
Golden Rhino – Bullet in leg via Reaper
Bill Hicks
That is who is still alive, and who is dead. Please refer back to the original list in the first post so you know who is actually in the damn game.
Stryke wrote:
> Excellent Shaneo, cheers. But Bill Hicks "appeared" at one point, I
> think, making it now 87 to go.
No probs, and heh at Bill Hicks.
"Oh, and GroovyCarrot isn't even someone from SR, he's someone from IRC. So he doesn't count."
I knew I recognised the name from somewhere!
"$h@ne0 wrote:
Tony - DEAD by Mr Snuggly (Severe Papercut)- 2:09pm - 27/2/02
Severe papercut, Lol!"
*Bows down*
Thank ye :0)
"Not to nitpick but is there need to post a list of the dead after someone dies?
cant you do it like after every 4 or 5 people die?"
Once I get going and used to the system, then yes. I'm used to it now, so I'll do it from now on.
Just so I don't copy and paste a fecked scoreboard, here's the new one:
MJSwerve - DEAD by Sniper (Shot) - 4:40pm - 20/2/02
Jester - DEAD by Nomad Soul (Sliced) - 6:07pm - 20/2/02
Sniper - DEAD by FantasyMeister (Burnt) - 10:31pm - 20/2/02
Doughnut Monster - DEAD by Turbonutter (Drowned) - 9:08am - 21/2/02
Shadow - DEAD by Wookiee Monster (Drowned) - 4:13pm - 21/2/02
GasMask - DEAD by Pb (Shot) - 6:39pm - 21/2/02
cjh - DEAD by Mouldy Cheese (Shot) - 5:02pm - 24/2/02
Ice Blaster - DEAD by a snake (Poisoned) - 7:59pm - 26/2/02
Reaper - DEAD by Iguana (Stab Wound) - 9:11pm - 26/2/02
Tony - DEAD by Mr Snuggly (Severe Papercut)- 2:09pm - 27/2/02
JaceeUK - DEAD by Cooky (Sliced) - 5:21pm - 27/2/02
Nomad Soul - DEAD by Mr Nice Guy (Battered) - 7:53pm - 27/2/02
Time Warp - DEAD by Your Honour (Decapitated) - 8:11pm - 27/2/02
Slipknot - DEAD by Turbonutter (Impact) - 7:23am - 28/2/02
> Excellent Shaneo, cheers. But Bill Hicks "appeared" at one point, I
> think, making it now 87 to go.
No probs, and heh at Bill Hicks.
"Oh, and GroovyCarrot isn't even someone from SR, he's someone from IRC. So he doesn't count."
I knew I recognised the name from somewhere!
"$h@ne0 wrote:
Tony - DEAD by Mr Snuggly (Severe Papercut)- 2:09pm - 27/2/02
Severe papercut, Lol!"
*Bows down*
Thank ye :0)
"Not to nitpick but is there need to post a list of the dead after someone dies?
cant you do it like after every 4 or 5 people die?"
Once I get going and used to the system, then yes. I'm used to it now, so I'll do it from now on.
Just so I don't copy and paste a fecked scoreboard, here's the new one:
MJSwerve - DEAD by Sniper (Shot) - 4:40pm - 20/2/02
Jester - DEAD by Nomad Soul (Sliced) - 6:07pm - 20/2/02
Sniper - DEAD by FantasyMeister (Burnt) - 10:31pm - 20/2/02
Doughnut Monster - DEAD by Turbonutter (Drowned) - 9:08am - 21/2/02
Shadow - DEAD by Wookiee Monster (Drowned) - 4:13pm - 21/2/02
GasMask - DEAD by Pb (Shot) - 6:39pm - 21/2/02
cjh - DEAD by Mouldy Cheese (Shot) - 5:02pm - 24/2/02
Ice Blaster - DEAD by a snake (Poisoned) - 7:59pm - 26/2/02
Reaper - DEAD by Iguana (Stab Wound) - 9:11pm - 26/2/02
Tony - DEAD by Mr Snuggly (Severe Papercut)- 2:09pm - 27/2/02
JaceeUK - DEAD by Cooky (Sliced) - 5:21pm - 27/2/02
Nomad Soul - DEAD by Mr Nice Guy (Battered) - 7:53pm - 27/2/02
Time Warp - DEAD by Your Honour (Decapitated) - 8:11pm - 27/2/02
Slipknot - DEAD by Turbonutter (Impact) - 7:23am - 28/2/02
Not to nitpick but is there need to post a list of the dead after someone dies?
cant you do it like after every 4 or 5 people die?
cant you do it like after every 4 or 5 people die?
$h@ne0 wrote:
Tony - DEAD by Mr Snuggly (Severe Papercut)- 2:09pm - 27/2/02
Severe papercut, Lol!
Tony - DEAD by Mr Snuggly (Severe Papercut)- 2:09pm - 27/2/02
Severe papercut, Lol!
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