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If you fancy a laugh, it's worth buying/borrowing a copy of today's Sun and reading the Jeremy Clarkson column, which is all about Hurricane Katrina and the American response.
Yes, I know the low esteem in which the "newspaper" is held, but it really is worth a read. Hilariously funny, at the expense of the US government.
Yes, I know the low esteem in which the "newspaper" is held, but it really is worth a read. Hilariously funny, at the expense of the US government.
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If you fancy a laugh, it's worth buying/borrowing a copy of today's Sun and reading the Jeremy Clarkson column, which is all about Hurricane Katrina and the American response.
Yes, I know the low esteem in which the "newspaper" is held, but it really is worth a read. Hilariously funny, at the expense of the US government.
Yes, I know the low esteem in which the "newspaper" is held, but it really is worth a read. Hilariously funny, at the expense of the US government.
Not sure if Jeremy Clarkson figures too highly on my political pundits scale to be honest.
Well, since it's not a political column, I doubt that really matters.
*shrugs*
If I want an opinion on a car, I'll read a Clarkson column.
If I want an opinion on a car, I'll read a Clarkson column.
Well, fair enough.
For everyone out there who isn't Goatboy, it's probably worth a read - purely for the humourous observational content.
I'm not suggesting you buy the thing, just pop into Smiths or similar.
For everyone out there who isn't Goatboy, it's probably worth a read - purely for the humourous observational content.
I'm not suggesting you buy the thing, just pop into Smiths or similar.
How long is the article?
Is it too long for you to type up? As I don't want to go out again, it's tipping it down.
Clarkson actually has a good writing technique, the page with his column on is the only page of the sun I wouldn't wipe my ass with (Apart from the TV Guide).
Is it too long for you to type up? As I don't want to go out again, it's tipping it down.
Clarkson actually has a good writing technique, the page with his column on is the only page of the sun I wouldn't wipe my ass with (Apart from the TV Guide).
It's quite long. I'll do it later if I get the time.
Don't worry.
I might take a wander up to the news agents to get it.
I might take a wander up to the news agents to get it.
Here you go. I had time to do it while my PC was processing some video.
----------
In the last couple of weeks everyone has been asking how the greatest and most powerful nation on earth could be so crippled by a bit of wind and rain.
The rest of the world has natural disasters without the whole of society falling to pieces. So why is it different in America?
Well, if you stop and think about it, the answer is obvious.
America may have given the world the space shuttle and, er, condensed milk, but behind the veneer of civilisation most Americans barely have the brains to walk on their back legs.
It’s scientifically accepted that the stupidest creature on God’s earth is a lobster, because it only knows to eat when presented with food and lash out when threatened.
Remind you of anything?
Even the President manages to get completely lost in his own sentences. “I love to bring people into the Oval Office and say, ‘This is where I office,” he once said. Proving that, in fact, we never misunderestimated him at all.
More recently, we got this little nugget. “Rarely is the question asked: ‘Is our children learning?’”
Well, since most of them can’t place their own country on a map, leave alone anyone else’s, the answer is: No, not really. A few years ago, I was told by a cheerily daft Florida policeman that you don’t need common sense when you’ve got rules. And he absolutely could not see he’d got that completely the wrong way round.
Later on the same trip I was told on a plane to Dallas to uncross my legs for take-off. “It’s a federal requirement,” said the stewardess, who had plainly never thought what possible difference the position of a passenger’s legs could make if the jet crashed into something solid at 520mph.
Then there was the time when, in a Reno shopping mall, I was told to put my shoes back on. “It’s a state law,” said the guard.
I see, so someone raised this at a meeting. It was discussed. There was a vote. And now it’s on a statute book. That people must wear shoes while shopping in Nevada. Sounds a bit far-fetched to me.
But then in New Mexico you can’t have a beer by a hotel swimming pool at three in the afternoon. There’s a state law about that too.
Mind you, for real insanity, try this for size. I was once given official permission to film in Wall Street.
Only to find that none of the buildings could appear in the back of shot – which is tricky when they’re all 5,000ft tall.
Equally mad was the security guard in Washington last year who said I could not hand a television camera to the cameraman inside that particular part of the terminal. Strangely, however, I was allowed to hand it to him after I’d moved 4ft that away.
This is the problem. These people are told rules exist and they should not use common sense to question them.
So, when the rules and everything else were washed out of New Orleans, everyone went to the default setting of the terminally stupid: Violence.
I’m not talking about the armed gangs now. I’m talking about the authorities who, rather than try to feed the poor and needy, summoned the Marines and started acting like they were in a Hollywood film.
“They’ve got M16s which are locked and loaded,” said one official. And I bet she hadn’t the first idea what “locked and loaded” meant. She’d just heard Bruce Willis say it at some point and figured it sounded good.
Hollywood has taught America that the military can solve anything. It’s full of chisel-jawed heroes who never leave a man on the field and never fail to get the job done. So they’d have New Orleans sorted out in a jiffy.
Unfortunately, on the streets you’ve got some poor, starving soul helping themselves to a packet of food from a ruined, deserted supermarket. And as a result, finding themselves being blown to pieces by a helicopter gunship. With the none-too-bright soldiers urged on by their illiterate political masters, the poor and needy never stood a chance. It’s easier and much more fun to shoot someone than make them a cup of tea.
Especially if they’re black. Aha. You thought I wouldn’t bring this up. Well, I’m sorry but I was once filming with a big crew at a major US landmark.
The guard said a cheery hello to all of us, except Adam, who was black. Adam got a scowl. And that was the nicest welcome on his whole three-week trip.
You think Americans could give a stuff about the people of New Orleans? Well, the white ones maybe.
Hurricane Katrina didn’t just knock a few bricks from the fabric of a levee. More importantly, it knocked a few bricks also from the notion that America is a shining beacon of hope for a troubled world.
It isn’t. It’s a house of straw. With no education to glue that straw together. And guess where I shall be while you’re reading this?
Yup, I’ll be in America, probably in jail for having smoked while my legs were crossed. In a no-loading zone.
For the record: Copyright Jeremy Clarkson / The Sun
----------
In the last couple of weeks everyone has been asking how the greatest and most powerful nation on earth could be so crippled by a bit of wind and rain.
The rest of the world has natural disasters without the whole of society falling to pieces. So why is it different in America?
Well, if you stop and think about it, the answer is obvious.
America may have given the world the space shuttle and, er, condensed milk, but behind the veneer of civilisation most Americans barely have the brains to walk on their back legs.
It’s scientifically accepted that the stupidest creature on God’s earth is a lobster, because it only knows to eat when presented with food and lash out when threatened.
Remind you of anything?
Even the President manages to get completely lost in his own sentences. “I love to bring people into the Oval Office and say, ‘This is where I office,” he once said. Proving that, in fact, we never misunderestimated him at all.
More recently, we got this little nugget. “Rarely is the question asked: ‘Is our children learning?’”
Well, since most of them can’t place their own country on a map, leave alone anyone else’s, the answer is: No, not really. A few years ago, I was told by a cheerily daft Florida policeman that you don’t need common sense when you’ve got rules. And he absolutely could not see he’d got that completely the wrong way round.
Later on the same trip I was told on a plane to Dallas to uncross my legs for take-off. “It’s a federal requirement,” said the stewardess, who had plainly never thought what possible difference the position of a passenger’s legs could make if the jet crashed into something solid at 520mph.
Then there was the time when, in a Reno shopping mall, I was told to put my shoes back on. “It’s a state law,” said the guard.
I see, so someone raised this at a meeting. It was discussed. There was a vote. And now it’s on a statute book. That people must wear shoes while shopping in Nevada. Sounds a bit far-fetched to me.
But then in New Mexico you can’t have a beer by a hotel swimming pool at three in the afternoon. There’s a state law about that too.
Mind you, for real insanity, try this for size. I was once given official permission to film in Wall Street.
Only to find that none of the buildings could appear in the back of shot – which is tricky when they’re all 5,000ft tall.
Equally mad was the security guard in Washington last year who said I could not hand a television camera to the cameraman inside that particular part of the terminal. Strangely, however, I was allowed to hand it to him after I’d moved 4ft that away.
This is the problem. These people are told rules exist and they should not use common sense to question them.
So, when the rules and everything else were washed out of New Orleans, everyone went to the default setting of the terminally stupid: Violence.
I’m not talking about the armed gangs now. I’m talking about the authorities who, rather than try to feed the poor and needy, summoned the Marines and started acting like they were in a Hollywood film.
“They’ve got M16s which are locked and loaded,” said one official. And I bet she hadn’t the first idea what “locked and loaded” meant. She’d just heard Bruce Willis say it at some point and figured it sounded good.
Hollywood has taught America that the military can solve anything. It’s full of chisel-jawed heroes who never leave a man on the field and never fail to get the job done. So they’d have New Orleans sorted out in a jiffy.
Unfortunately, on the streets you’ve got some poor, starving soul helping themselves to a packet of food from a ruined, deserted supermarket. And as a result, finding themselves being blown to pieces by a helicopter gunship. With the none-too-bright soldiers urged on by their illiterate political masters, the poor and needy never stood a chance. It’s easier and much more fun to shoot someone than make them a cup of tea.
Especially if they’re black. Aha. You thought I wouldn’t bring this up. Well, I’m sorry but I was once filming with a big crew at a major US landmark.
The guard said a cheery hello to all of us, except Adam, who was black. Adam got a scowl. And that was the nicest welcome on his whole three-week trip.
You think Americans could give a stuff about the people of New Orleans? Well, the white ones maybe.
Hurricane Katrina didn’t just knock a few bricks from the fabric of a levee. More importantly, it knocked a few bricks also from the notion that America is a shining beacon of hope for a troubled world.
It isn’t. It’s a house of straw. With no education to glue that straw together. And guess where I shall be while you’re reading this?
Yup, I’ll be in America, probably in jail for having smoked while my legs were crossed. In a no-loading zone.
For the record: Copyright Jeremy Clarkson / The Sun
Ah the old Americans are retards spiel, tsk tsk Clarkson i expect more from your sarcastic wit, well actually no i don't but never mind he fits in well writing for The Sun.
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