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"Caught in the act"

MoJo's work is full of fine ladies, however we're all on teams of about 12-14 people and don't talk to other teams much, so if you have no fine ladies on your team, the chances of getting to know them aren't good.

I have two blonde stunners on my team, very nice, but both spoken for. So when the chance to have my hours changed to the evening shift for two weeks to help train the new twilight shifters coming in came up, I thought "Hey, get some stuff on my CV, meet some new ladies - get in"

So I put my name forward and was picked and spent two weeks training and floorwalking (wandering around answering questions on the work) and got two girl's numbers out of it.

So I met one last night at 9:30, she caught me off guard since I was meant to be seeing her tonight but she was gonna be busy so she asked me meet me when she'd finished work.

She drives, I don't, so she was the one behind the wheel, how's that for role reversal? Things were going well, good not great, and we ended up in Whitley Bay and got some chips at about 10:30, went to park somewhere, found a small car park near the beach and I started to work my magic.

Except there were other cars parked there, also with couples in, all just sitting around waiting. "Dogging site" it screamed of to me, I'd heard there was one around there...

As we talked we got close, things happened, but eventually we packed up and left for fear of the police coming along (most of the cars had gone, but there was a large white van parked there with the lights on) and went back to my neck of the woods (we drove one way, decided to go another so went back past the car park, the white van had gone...) and ended up in the small carpark of a park (the same park I was arrested outside of when my mates stole some bowling pins and smashed up some bus shelters)

Things happened again (and can I say how hard it is to get nekkid and up to no good in a Mini Cooper S? The back has less room than the front...) she was getting, er, excitable, when -

*thump thump thump*

Oh fudge. It can only be one thing. She totally freaks, jumps off me and back onto the driver's side. With her knickers and skirt on the back seat she pulls her top down to try and cover herself, while I calmly open the door to see a huge policeman standing there, his partner on the other side of the car looking at my lady friend.

"Can you take it elsewhere please, mate?"

Yep, no problem, mate.

"We've had a call from one of the residents, we'll let you off, just move on"

No bother, cheers mate. The windows are so fogged she can't see out to drive, but we manage to get out the gates and she drops me off home at about 12:30, not amused in the slightest. And she's still driving with nothing but a jumper on at this point.

She blamed me for not knowing they were coming, my argument that I had wanted the window open to let some air in and so we could hear if anyone was coming was quickly dismissed (she's the girl, she's right, I'm wrong)

OK, so we weren't fully at it, at the point they came up and tapped on the window my jeans were back on, we were only fooling around like horny teenagers, but we were lucky not have our details taken (though I reckon they would've recorded her license plate) and instead just be let off.

She's a fantastic girl, but I thought I'd let her simmer a bit today, I'll text her tomorrow and see how she is.

But yeah, a close call, she was freaked out and I didn't dare look the copper in the eye. Next time we'll just go back to mine...

My old history teacher used to talk about Whitley Bay

" When I was a young man like, I walked twenty miles to Whitley Bay in my bare feet with my coal filled lungs and you can't even remember to bring a pen "

He was great

Mm, Whitley is full of old men preying on young women (which is, of course, fine) and old women raping young men (which is, of course, funny).

Mojo, have you ever seen the couple of women who usually end up at Blue of a Saturday night? The ones who look IDENTICAL to Tasha Slapper's mam and and her retarded bespectacled friend off of Viz?

Light wrote:
> I have to say, Mojo's post is in fact one of the classier tales of
> love in Whitley Bay that I've ever heard.
>
> Seriously; most weekends, it's like someone shaved a zoofull of
> chimps, stuck 'em in miniskirts, and sprayed them with pheromones.

-------

Ah, I see you know the ways of Whitley Bay. It's a jungle on Bank Holiday Mondays, I stopped bothering to show up, totally packed with 40 somethings in tight leather outfits (and that's just the men) and at least a twenty minute wait everywhere you go to get served.

"The Wal would probably do pressups and throw traffic cones at them, whilst Fozzy would chant "G Man! G Man! G Man!"

That sounds remarkably familiar, have you been to one of our parties?

If the Wal started doing pressups, Papa G here would take it as primal challenge on his conquest-in-progress, and cease all ladyfun activites in order to out pressup the Wal.

I have to say, Mojo's post is in fact one of the classier tales of love in Whitley Bay that I've ever heard.

Seriously; most weekends, it's like someone shaved a zoofull of chimps, stuck 'em in miniskirts, and sprayed them with pheromones.

The Wal would probably do pressups and throw traffic cones at them, whilst Fozzy would chant "G Man! G Man! G Man!"

Yep, I'm sorted, Stryke is here.

Hey wait, all I said was I wanted to keep an eye on my friend because she was drunk and everyone tries to chat her up, and suddenly I'm Papa MoJo (a name which I like by the way) who's babysitting all his female friends.

I'd have no free time if I did...

I've really got nothing to add on this, Moj. Except I thought you viewed these girls as your children.

Oh, and what was wrong with taking her back to your newly rented palace? Scared the FosWal might watch?

"Scuse me Mr officer, there's a couple outside having sexy intercourse, please arrest them as it's putting me and my husband off our meals"

That's what I thought, but it's the same street where some guy came chasing after us thinking we'd hit his car with a bowling pin when we hadn't (but, er... yeah, my mates hit some bus shelters instead, so we were still guilty in a way)

Ironically we probably had less chance of being caught in the first place, which I found out later was down the road from a dogging area. Whitley Bay's a classy place... which is why I'm going there tonight with The Wal and his brother. We never learn.

edit -

"Yeah...either that or some of your friends have found these forums so you're covering for your little alley-cat..."

If you actually met me and my friends you'd see we're not that bad. I pull the whole ego thing here but it's just a laugh, I'm nowhere near as arrogant in real life and I'm actually a nice(ish) guy. In fact if I did happen to meet any of you you wouldn't know I was the amazing MoJo just by talking to me. Until I mentioned stealing bowling pins or The Wal...

MoJoJoJo wrote:
> Ah, how I love Goatboy's strange take on my life. It's half the reason
> I bother to post some of my adventures, now all I need is Stryke to
> post some classic stuff and I'm sorted.
>
> And my friend didn't in fact get nailed in the alley way, the lad who
> was meant to have done it also said nothing happened, it was his mates
> who started the rumour. That probably sounds like bull, but if I'd got
> with her I'd be shouting it from the roothtops with albino gorillas,
> not denying anything happened.

Yeah...either that or some of your friends have found these forums so you're covering for your little alley-cat...