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MoJo's work is full of fine ladies, however we're all on teams of about 12-14 people and don't talk to other teams much, so if you have no fine ladies on your team, the chances of getting to know them aren't good.
I have two blonde stunners on my team, very nice, but both spoken for. So when the chance to have my hours changed to the evening shift for two weeks to help train the new twilight shifters coming in came up, I thought "Hey, get some stuff on my CV, meet some new ladies - get in"
So I put my name forward and was picked and spent two weeks training and floorwalking (wandering around answering questions on the work) and got two girl's numbers out of it.
So I met one last night at 9:30, she caught me off guard since I was meant to be seeing her tonight but she was gonna be busy so she asked me meet me when she'd finished work.
She drives, I don't, so she was the one behind the wheel, how's that for role reversal? Things were going well, good not great, and we ended up in Whitley Bay and got some chips at about 10:30, went to park somewhere, found a small car park near the beach and I started to work my magic.
Except there were other cars parked there, also with couples in, all just sitting around waiting. "Dogging site" it screamed of to me, I'd heard there was one around there...
As we talked we got close, things happened, but eventually we packed up and left for fear of the police coming along (most of the cars had gone, but there was a large white van parked there with the lights on) and went back to my neck of the woods (we drove one way, decided to go another so went back past the car park, the white van had gone...) and ended up in the small carpark of a park (the same park I was arrested outside of when my mates stole some bowling pins and smashed up some bus shelters)
Things happened again (and can I say how hard it is to get nekkid and up to no good in a Mini Cooper S? The back has less room than the front...) she was getting, er, excitable, when -
*thump thump thump*
Oh fudge. It can only be one thing. She totally freaks, jumps off me and back onto the driver's side. With her knickers and skirt on the back seat she pulls her top down to try and cover herself, while I calmly open the door to see a huge policeman standing there, his partner on the other side of the car looking at my lady friend.
"Can you take it elsewhere please, mate?"
Yep, no problem, mate.
"We've had a call from one of the residents, we'll let you off, just move on"
No bother, cheers mate. The windows are so fogged she can't see out to drive, but we manage to get out the gates and she drops me off home at about 12:30, not amused in the slightest. And she's still driving with nothing but a jumper on at this point.
She blamed me for not knowing they were coming, my argument that I had wanted the window open to let some air in and so we could hear if anyone was coming was quickly dismissed (she's the girl, she's right, I'm wrong)
OK, so we weren't fully at it, at the point they came up and tapped on the window my jeans were back on, we were only fooling around like horny teenagers, but we were lucky not have our details taken (though I reckon they would've recorded her license plate) and instead just be let off.
She's a fantastic girl, but I thought I'd let her simmer a bit today, I'll text her tomorrow and see how she is.
But yeah, a close call, she was freaked out and I didn't dare look the copper in the eye. Next time we'll just go back to mine...
I have two blonde stunners on my team, very nice, but both spoken for. So when the chance to have my hours changed to the evening shift for two weeks to help train the new twilight shifters coming in came up, I thought "Hey, get some stuff on my CV, meet some new ladies - get in"
So I put my name forward and was picked and spent two weeks training and floorwalking (wandering around answering questions on the work) and got two girl's numbers out of it.
So I met one last night at 9:30, she caught me off guard since I was meant to be seeing her tonight but she was gonna be busy so she asked me meet me when she'd finished work.
She drives, I don't, so she was the one behind the wheel, how's that for role reversal? Things were going well, good not great, and we ended up in Whitley Bay and got some chips at about 10:30, went to park somewhere, found a small car park near the beach and I started to work my magic.
Except there were other cars parked there, also with couples in, all just sitting around waiting. "Dogging site" it screamed of to me, I'd heard there was one around there...
As we talked we got close, things happened, but eventually we packed up and left for fear of the police coming along (most of the cars had gone, but there was a large white van parked there with the lights on) and went back to my neck of the woods (we drove one way, decided to go another so went back past the car park, the white van had gone...) and ended up in the small carpark of a park (the same park I was arrested outside of when my mates stole some bowling pins and smashed up some bus shelters)
Things happened again (and can I say how hard it is to get nekkid and up to no good in a Mini Cooper S? The back has less room than the front...) she was getting, er, excitable, when -
*thump thump thump*
Oh fudge. It can only be one thing. She totally freaks, jumps off me and back onto the driver's side. With her knickers and skirt on the back seat she pulls her top down to try and cover herself, while I calmly open the door to see a huge policeman standing there, his partner on the other side of the car looking at my lady friend.
"Can you take it elsewhere please, mate?"
Yep, no problem, mate.
"We've had a call from one of the residents, we'll let you off, just move on"
No bother, cheers mate. The windows are so fogged she can't see out to drive, but we manage to get out the gates and she drops me off home at about 12:30, not amused in the slightest. And she's still driving with nothing but a jumper on at this point.
She blamed me for not knowing they were coming, my argument that I had wanted the window open to let some air in and so we could hear if anyone was coming was quickly dismissed (she's the girl, she's right, I'm wrong)
OK, so we weren't fully at it, at the point they came up and tapped on the window my jeans were back on, we were only fooling around like horny teenagers, but we were lucky not have our details taken (though I reckon they would've recorded her license plate) and instead just be let off.
She's a fantastic girl, but I thought I'd let her simmer a bit today, I'll text her tomorrow and see how she is.
But yeah, a close call, she was freaked out and I didn't dare look the copper in the eye. Next time we'll just go back to mine...
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MoJo's work is full of fine ladies, however we're all on teams of about 12-14 people and don't talk to other teams much, so if you have no fine ladies on your team, the chances of getting to know them aren't good.
I have two blonde stunners on my team, very nice, but both spoken for. So when the chance to have my hours changed to the evening shift for two weeks to help train the new twilight shifters coming in came up, I thought "Hey, get some stuff on my CV, meet some new ladies - get in"
So I put my name forward and was picked and spent two weeks training and floorwalking (wandering around answering questions on the work) and got two girl's numbers out of it.
So I met one last night at 9:30, she caught me off guard since I was meant to be seeing her tonight but she was gonna be busy so she asked me meet me when she'd finished work.
She drives, I don't, so she was the one behind the wheel, how's that for role reversal? Things were going well, good not great, and we ended up in Whitley Bay and got some chips at about 10:30, went to park somewhere, found a small car park near the beach and I started to work my magic.
Except there were other cars parked there, also with couples in, all just sitting around waiting. "Dogging site" it screamed of to me, I'd heard there was one around there...
As we talked we got close, things happened, but eventually we packed up and left for fear of the police coming along (most of the cars had gone, but there was a large white van parked there with the lights on) and went back to my neck of the woods (we drove one way, decided to go another so went back past the car park, the white van had gone...) and ended up in the small carpark of a park (the same park I was arrested outside of when my mates stole some bowling pins and smashed up some bus shelters)
Things happened again (and can I say how hard it is to get nekkid and up to no good in a Mini Cooper S? The back has less room than the front...) she was getting, er, excitable, when -
*thump thump thump*
Oh fudge. It can only be one thing. She totally freaks, jumps off me and back onto the driver's side. With her knickers and skirt on the back seat she pulls her top down to try and cover herself, while I calmly open the door to see a huge policeman standing there, his partner on the other side of the car looking at my lady friend.
"Can you take it elsewhere please, mate?"
Yep, no problem, mate.
"We've had a call from one of the residents, we'll let you off, just move on"
No bother, cheers mate. The windows are so fogged she can't see out to drive, but we manage to get out the gates and she drops me off home at about 12:30, not amused in the slightest. And she's still driving with nothing but a jumper on at this point.
She blamed me for not knowing they were coming, my argument that I had wanted the window open to let some air in and so we could hear if anyone was coming was quickly dismissed (she's the girl, she's right, I'm wrong)
OK, so we weren't fully at it, at the point they came up and tapped on the window my jeans were back on, we were only fooling around like horny teenagers, but we were lucky not have our details taken (though I reckon they would've recorded her license plate) and instead just be let off.
She's a fantastic girl, but I thought I'd let her simmer a bit today, I'll text her tomorrow and see how she is.
But yeah, a close call, she was freaked out and I didn't dare look the copper in the eye. Next time we'll just go back to mine...
I have two blonde stunners on my team, very nice, but both spoken for. So when the chance to have my hours changed to the evening shift for two weeks to help train the new twilight shifters coming in came up, I thought "Hey, get some stuff on my CV, meet some new ladies - get in"
So I put my name forward and was picked and spent two weeks training and floorwalking (wandering around answering questions on the work) and got two girl's numbers out of it.
So I met one last night at 9:30, she caught me off guard since I was meant to be seeing her tonight but she was gonna be busy so she asked me meet me when she'd finished work.
She drives, I don't, so she was the one behind the wheel, how's that for role reversal? Things were going well, good not great, and we ended up in Whitley Bay and got some chips at about 10:30, went to park somewhere, found a small car park near the beach and I started to work my magic.
Except there were other cars parked there, also with couples in, all just sitting around waiting. "Dogging site" it screamed of to me, I'd heard there was one around there...
As we talked we got close, things happened, but eventually we packed up and left for fear of the police coming along (most of the cars had gone, but there was a large white van parked there with the lights on) and went back to my neck of the woods (we drove one way, decided to go another so went back past the car park, the white van had gone...) and ended up in the small carpark of a park (the same park I was arrested outside of when my mates stole some bowling pins and smashed up some bus shelters)
Things happened again (and can I say how hard it is to get nekkid and up to no good in a Mini Cooper S? The back has less room than the front...) she was getting, er, excitable, when -
*thump thump thump*
Oh fudge. It can only be one thing. She totally freaks, jumps off me and back onto the driver's side. With her knickers and skirt on the back seat she pulls her top down to try and cover herself, while I calmly open the door to see a huge policeman standing there, his partner on the other side of the car looking at my lady friend.
"Can you take it elsewhere please, mate?"
Yep, no problem, mate.
"We've had a call from one of the residents, we'll let you off, just move on"
No bother, cheers mate. The windows are so fogged she can't see out to drive, but we manage to get out the gates and she drops me off home at about 12:30, not amused in the slightest. And she's still driving with nothing but a jumper on at this point.
She blamed me for not knowing they were coming, my argument that I had wanted the window open to let some air in and so we could hear if anyone was coming was quickly dismissed (she's the girl, she's right, I'm wrong)
OK, so we weren't fully at it, at the point they came up and tapped on the window my jeans were back on, we were only fooling around like horny teenagers, but we were lucky not have our details taken (though I reckon they would've recorded her license plate) and instead just be let off.
She's a fantastic girl, but I thought I'd let her simmer a bit today, I'll text her tomorrow and see how she is.
But yeah, a close call, she was freaked out and I didn't dare look the copper in the eye. Next time we'll just go back to mine...
You never have a day without something weird and wonderful happening do you? It made me laugh though, couldn't you find, like, a bed?
She sounds easy.
Bag of chips down the local park. Did you get any action then?
Bag of chips down the local park. Did you get any action then?
Yeah, why not a bed? Surely it's more comfortable than the back seat? Don't you get cramps?
RoJ wrote:
> Don't you get crabs?
Ahahahahahahaha.
I'll leave. Although it's probably true, she does seem like an easy schlaaaaaag. I'm guessing they're all the girls who've come out of school at 16 with no GCSEs and have only got the job because they wore a tiny skirt to the interview?
> Don't you get crabs?
Ahahahahahahaha.
I'll leave. Although it's probably true, she does seem like an easy schlaaaaaag. I'm guessing they're all the girls who've come out of school at 16 with no GCSEs and have only got the job because they wore a tiny skirt to the interview?
Na we were just messing on, what I believe the Americans would call second/third base. We've only known each other a couple of months and most of that was via email at work and text.
I would've taken her back to mine but she felt a bit uncomfortable having to either talk to my family or sneak past them. Plus I'd get endless grief from my parents afterwards about who she was, how I know her, how long I've known her and what EXACTLY we were doing in there.
Typical.
Edit -
"Although it's probably true, she does seem like an easy schlaaaaaag. I'm guessing they're all the girls who've come out of school at 16 with no GCSEs and have only got the job because they wore a tiny skirt to the interview?"
Hey, I've worked my magic on her for over two months, if anyone's easy, it's me. And na, she's doing her A levels, the age gap between us is rediculous (at least I think it is, everyone else says not to worry)
I would've taken her back to mine but she felt a bit uncomfortable having to either talk to my family or sneak past them. Plus I'd get endless grief from my parents afterwards about who she was, how I know her, how long I've known her and what EXACTLY we were doing in there.
Typical.
Edit -
"Although it's probably true, she does seem like an easy schlaaaaaag. I'm guessing they're all the girls who've come out of school at 16 with no GCSEs and have only got the job because they wore a tiny skirt to the interview?"
Hey, I've worked my magic on her for over two months, if anyone's easy, it's me. And na, she's doing her A levels, the age gap between us is rediculous (at least I think it is, everyone else says not to worry)
Bag of chips and a handjob in a Mini Cooper.
Just class all the way.
You should team-up with your mate that shagged a bloke in the alleyway, together you could have all manner of al-fresco liasons that leave you feeling vaguely seedy.
**edit**
And here's why women are stupid and I'll abuse that fact.
Went out for drinks with somebody in Chelmsford, had too many and ended up at hers. Watched a movie, ate chinese and I hurled fistfuls of bombay mix at her stupid little dog whenever she left the room.
We ended up doing the sex and she took next day off work for more of the same.
So after a few days, she txts and says it was nice but she didn't really see it going anywhere and hoped I wouldn't mind if we just stayed friends (yeah, I hump all my friends love, no biggie...tcha) and hoped I wasn't upset.
Goatboy is upset because he had a free Chinese, a day and half of shouty sex and managed to get a chick-pea in her rubbish dog's nostril and there's no chance of it becoming a long-term thing?
Somehow I'll get over it.
Just class all the way.
You should team-up with your mate that shagged a bloke in the alleyway, together you could have all manner of al-fresco liasons that leave you feeling vaguely seedy.
**edit**
And here's why women are stupid and I'll abuse that fact.
Went out for drinks with somebody in Chelmsford, had too many and ended up at hers. Watched a movie, ate chinese and I hurled fistfuls of bombay mix at her stupid little dog whenever she left the room.
We ended up doing the sex and she took next day off work for more of the same.
So after a few days, she txts and says it was nice but she didn't really see it going anywhere and hoped I wouldn't mind if we just stayed friends (yeah, I hump all my friends love, no biggie...tcha) and hoped I wasn't upset.
Goatboy is upset because he had a free Chinese, a day and half of shouty sex and managed to get a chick-pea in her rubbish dog's nostril and there's no chance of it becoming a long-term thing?
Somehow I'll get over it.
In a mini?
Christ, you're just asking to accidentally slip and get penetrated by the gear stick or something. It's bad enough in the back of an Astra, let alone a mini. That's one step up from a Smart Car, now that would be an achievement.
What kind of neighbourhood reports you for going at it?
"Scuse me Mr officer, there's a couple outside having sexy intercourse, please arrest them as it's putting me and my husband off our meals"
She sounds easy, but what the hey. Call it a sympathy lay and be done with it.
Christ, you're just asking to accidentally slip and get penetrated by the gear stick or something. It's bad enough in the back of an Astra, let alone a mini. That's one step up from a Smart Car, now that would be an achievement.
What kind of neighbourhood reports you for going at it?
"Scuse me Mr officer, there's a couple outside having sexy intercourse, please arrest them as it's putting me and my husband off our meals"
She sounds easy, but what the hey. Call it a sympathy lay and be done with it.
But this is Mojojojojo, by this time next week he'll be asking us if he should be telling her brother that she fell over and scraped her knee because he feels responsible for her because he got a couple of fingers up her.
Ah, how I love Goatboy's strange take on my life. It's half the reason I bother to post some of my adventures, now all I need is Stryke to post some classic stuff and I'm sorted.
And my friend didn't in fact get nailed in the alley way, the lad who was meant to have done it also said nothing happened, it was his mates who started the rumour. That probably sounds like bull, but if I'd got with her I'd be shouting it from the roothtops with albino gorillas, not denying anything happened.
And my friend didn't in fact get nailed in the alley way, the lad who was meant to have done it also said nothing happened, it was his mates who started the rumour. That probably sounds like bull, but if I'd got with her I'd be shouting it from the roothtops with albino gorillas, not denying anything happened.
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