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You know, I came in from work today miserable when I should've been high as a kite.
It's Friday, I'm off work until next Wednesday (thank you, Queen's birthday) and I just spent the day sitting opposite two gorgeous blondes, making them laugh. The reason why I came in miserable? The two gorgeous blondes.
Well, not so much them, more like looking in the mirror in the toilets and realising that I couldn't get them if I were the last man alive (and I don't have enough time or bullets to make that happen)
I'm not hideous, more... unusual. Still ugly, though, but ugly, not circus ugly. I can talk to stunning girls without being intimidated (if they're friendly enough) and I can make them laugh all day long, but that's as far as it goes.
In day to day life I rely on my wit (what's left of it) but I'm too ugly to pull. In a club they can't see how ugly I am but also can't hear a word I'm saying and all my best jokes are lost in the sea of bad music. It's a no win situation...
It's frustrating to think that, if I were good looking, I wouldn't even need to make as much effort as I do now and I'd be beating them off with a stick. Being "the man" 24/7 around girls and always ending up as a friend can only happen so many times before you start to lose the will to live (around 6 times by my count, and I'm on about 12)
I see what passes for good looking lads with all the intellect of a freshly boiled egg with stunners, and what makes it even worse is when those stunners have great personalities as well.
I could handle it if the good looking stupid people ended up with other good looking stupid people, but EVERY girl I'm attracted to is also either really canny or really funny, the looks are just a bonus (I ignore total b*tches, they're not worth the hassle) But they all run off with morons who treat them badly. It's such a cliché, being the male friend who secretly likes them, and it's what I try to avoid every time I meet a new girl "Don't end up a friend, don't end up a friend, don't end up a- Oh crap, it happened again"
Sometimes I think it'd be better if they hated me and said "Leave me alone, you weirdo". I don't do anything differently to the other lads, but because I have a face like the backside of a bus they're just not interested and consider me a friend, or just some random lad they talk to.
When I'm on top form I have girls practically wetting themselves with laughter, when they're feeling down I listen to their problems and give advice, but at the end of the day it's always "OK thanks... now where's that idiot who treats me badly, I'll give him another chance" Bah.
So I suggest we smash every mirror on the planet, wreck every reflective surface, take away beauty products, put everyone back to square one (though let the lasses shave/wax, that's still important, I'm a risky fellow but I don't like bristle) Take away the metrosexual's tools and they'll just be normal lads, leave it to personality to get the girls, and let us ugly blokes have a chance.
OK, rant over. I'm off to listen to some emo music and write in my diary about how unfair life is... or maybe I'll just stick my X-Box on.
It's Friday, I'm off work until next Wednesday (thank you, Queen's birthday) and I just spent the day sitting opposite two gorgeous blondes, making them laugh. The reason why I came in miserable? The two gorgeous blondes.
Well, not so much them, more like looking in the mirror in the toilets and realising that I couldn't get them if I were the last man alive (and I don't have enough time or bullets to make that happen)
I'm not hideous, more... unusual. Still ugly, though, but ugly, not circus ugly. I can talk to stunning girls without being intimidated (if they're friendly enough) and I can make them laugh all day long, but that's as far as it goes.
In day to day life I rely on my wit (what's left of it) but I'm too ugly to pull. In a club they can't see how ugly I am but also can't hear a word I'm saying and all my best jokes are lost in the sea of bad music. It's a no win situation...
It's frustrating to think that, if I were good looking, I wouldn't even need to make as much effort as I do now and I'd be beating them off with a stick. Being "the man" 24/7 around girls and always ending up as a friend can only happen so many times before you start to lose the will to live (around 6 times by my count, and I'm on about 12)
I see what passes for good looking lads with all the intellect of a freshly boiled egg with stunners, and what makes it even worse is when those stunners have great personalities as well.
I could handle it if the good looking stupid people ended up with other good looking stupid people, but EVERY girl I'm attracted to is also either really canny or really funny, the looks are just a bonus (I ignore total b*tches, they're not worth the hassle) But they all run off with morons who treat them badly. It's such a cliché, being the male friend who secretly likes them, and it's what I try to avoid every time I meet a new girl "Don't end up a friend, don't end up a friend, don't end up a- Oh crap, it happened again"
Sometimes I think it'd be better if they hated me and said "Leave me alone, you weirdo". I don't do anything differently to the other lads, but because I have a face like the backside of a bus they're just not interested and consider me a friend, or just some random lad they talk to.
When I'm on top form I have girls practically wetting themselves with laughter, when they're feeling down I listen to their problems and give advice, but at the end of the day it's always "OK thanks... now where's that idiot who treats me badly, I'll give him another chance" Bah.
So I suggest we smash every mirror on the planet, wreck every reflective surface, take away beauty products, put everyone back to square one (though let the lasses shave/wax, that's still important, I'm a risky fellow but I don't like bristle) Take away the metrosexual's tools and they'll just be normal lads, leave it to personality to get the girls, and let us ugly blokes have a chance.
OK, rant over. I'm off to listen to some emo music and write in my diary about how unfair life is... or maybe I'll just stick my X-Box on.
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The thing is, everyone hates the way they look in the mirror. I bet you could switch places with one of those stunning blonde girls and they probably look in the mirror and sometimes feel as down as you do. The best thing to do is just glance into the mirror with a striking pose to make you feel sexy, pluck up your confidence and just go for it man.
I used to have the same kind of trouble, always ending up the friend. Then I realised that there really is a lot of truth in the 'treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen' saying. Ignore them and you'll stand more chance of getting in their pants at the end of the day.
Not all girls go for these type of tactics, but I've found they they generally work better than acting all friendly and caring.
Not all girls go for these type of tactics, but I've found they they generally work better than acting all friendly and caring.
Asher wrote:
> The thing is, everyone hates the way they look in the mirror.
True.
Because it's you and you have to look at that face every day, you're bound to be over critical of yourself.
> The thing is, everyone hates the way they look in the mirror.
True.
Because it's you and you have to look at that face every day, you're bound to be over critical of yourself.
Exactly, whereas your face will be fresh to your friends.
Personally I found the rohypnol method quite successful.
The "wrench to the back of the head" method - as such is the snappy title which I've given it - I find is equally useful
The "wrench to the back of the head" method - as such is the snappy title which I've given it - I find is equally useful
I've got the opposite problem - I'm a hunk and a chunk with the personality of deep-fried walrus blubber.
The mirror shows only a facade. And only a facade which you see and no-one else. For there is no-one that knows inside you, because they meet the facade every day. A mirror leads to a dilusional world of vanity or self pity. There is no middle earth.
I try to look on the plus side and say I have deep brown eyes and stuff. But really I'm in the same boat as you m_m.
I'm by no means pug fugly though. I mean, guh. They're hideous.
I try to look on the plus side and say I have deep brown eyes and stuff. But really I'm in the same boat as you m_m.
I'm by no means pug fugly though. I mean, guh. They're hideous.
Argh, those bloody façades again.
Don't touch my façade, please. There's nothing undernearth but a hollow space, weeping for a heart to fill.
Don't touch my façade, please. There's nothing undernearth but a hollow space, weeping for a heart to fill.
FinalFantasyFanatic wrote:
> I've got the opposite problem - I'm a hunk and a chunk with the
> personality of deep-fried walrus blubber.
Yes... but you're a Notable with the personality of deep-fried walrus blubber. That counts for something. Works for me anyway, ever since my name went the colour of urine I've been fending them off.
> I've got the opposite problem - I'm a hunk and a chunk with the
> personality of deep-fried walrus blubber.
Yes... but you're a Notable with the personality of deep-fried walrus blubber. That counts for something. Works for me anyway, ever since my name went the colour of urine I've been fending them off.
Yeah, the 'hey, I'm the best on an internet chat room' line works wonders with the ladies.
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