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"Mirrors"

You know, I came in from work today miserable when I should've been high as a kite.

It's Friday, I'm off work until next Wednesday (thank you, Queen's birthday) and I just spent the day sitting opposite two gorgeous blondes, making them laugh. The reason why I came in miserable? The two gorgeous blondes.

Well, not so much them, more like looking in the mirror in the toilets and realising that I couldn't get them if I were the last man alive (and I don't have enough time or bullets to make that happen)

I'm not hideous, more... unusual. Still ugly, though, but ugly, not circus ugly. I can talk to stunning girls without being intimidated (if they're friendly enough) and I can make them laugh all day long, but that's as far as it goes.

In day to day life I rely on my wit (what's left of it) but I'm too ugly to pull. In a club they can't see how ugly I am but also can't hear a word I'm saying and all my best jokes are lost in the sea of bad music. It's a no win situation...

It's frustrating to think that, if I were good looking, I wouldn't even need to make as much effort as I do now and I'd be beating them off with a stick. Being "the man" 24/7 around girls and always ending up as a friend can only happen so many times before you start to lose the will to live (around 6 times by my count, and I'm on about 12)

I see what passes for good looking lads with all the intellect of a freshly boiled egg with stunners, and what makes it even worse is when those stunners have great personalities as well.

I could handle it if the good looking stupid people ended up with other good looking stupid people, but EVERY girl I'm attracted to is also either really canny or really funny, the looks are just a bonus (I ignore total b*tches, they're not worth the hassle) But they all run off with morons who treat them badly. It's such a cliché, being the male friend who secretly likes them, and it's what I try to avoid every time I meet a new girl "Don't end up a friend, don't end up a friend, don't end up a- Oh crap, it happened again"

Sometimes I think it'd be better if they hated me and said "Leave me alone, you weirdo". I don't do anything differently to the other lads, but because I have a face like the backside of a bus they're just not interested and consider me a friend, or just some random lad they talk to.

When I'm on top form I have girls practically wetting themselves with laughter, when they're feeling down I listen to their problems and give advice, but at the end of the day it's always "OK thanks... now where's that idiot who treats me badly, I'll give him another chance" Bah.

So I suggest we smash every mirror on the planet, wreck every reflective surface, take away beauty products, put everyone back to square one (though let the lasses shave/wax, that's still important, I'm a risky fellow but I don't like bristle) Take away the metrosexual's tools and they'll just be normal lads, leave it to personality to get the girls, and let us ugly blokes have a chance.

OK, rant over. I'm off to listen to some emo music and write in my diary about how unfair life is... or maybe I'll just stick my X-Box on.

I agree

EDIT: Though, I of course included myself in that. Changing rooms make me look pale and ill looking, not the best way to get me to buy clothes when I come out feeling like an ogre.

SHEEPY wrote:
> I agree

Nice of you to think so.

Hah, you cheeky minx.

Continuing on from what Asher says.....

What you see in a mirror might be totally different to what others see of you. It's a wierd thought, I know, but....you know.

Meh.

I've just spent the majority of the day at the pub with a load of college mates and kind of 'got in' with one of the lasses there.

I guess it works by chance. Don't dwell on it.

SHEEPY wrote:
> I agree
>
> EDIT: Though, I of course included myself in that. Changing rooms
> make me look pale and ill looking, not the best way to get me to buy
> clothes when I come out feeling like an ogre.


It took me a while to get that. At first I thought you was talking about the programme and I was shocked to discover you are really Lawrence Llewylen-Bowen. Then I was thinking about you moving from room to room and I was thinking 'Maybe its the change in lights, but whats with him buying clothes'

Then it clicked.

*weeps*

This heat is getting to me. Oh christ I'm so British.

Stop trying to be their friend.
Or you'll end up their friend.

"Don't end up a friend, don't end up a friend, don't end up a- Oh crap, it happened again"

What can we do? Go up and slap them in the face? That's a good way to make sure we don't end up friends.

Look on the bright side, men get more attractive as they get older, women just get older.

Act like you know full well they want to jump into bed with you, and that it's just a matter of time. Act like you *are* fighting them off with a stick.

SHEEPY wrote:
> I always find that mirros where there is bright light makes everyone
> look awful.

A really bright light above a mirror makes you look like a barbie doll.