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"Dealing with Fear"

It occurs to me that I'm a utter coward most of the time. I have trouble over-coming it, and it's half the problem why I get so paranoid and all sorts of weird crap happens.

However, I've realised that actually writing down what I'm afraid of, working it out in my mind and then scribbling it down, actually really helps me to see what I have to face. In many ways, it's a little system to see what direction I need to go next, admit to the fear, then attack it.

So, just out of interest (and to see if anyone else has the same problem with being afraid, anxious and the like), I ask what you're afraid of at the moment? You never know, with it out of your system and admitted, maybe it won't be such a problem?

I'm not just talking about phobias like spiders, heights, etc.. more things like debt, being on stage, talking to a girl, etc.

Any other fear related comments also welcome.

Strafio wrote:
> Do you genuinely fear that? Doesn't is just wind you up a little.
> Why is it scary?
> I mean, it might be holding people back, but most of the time it
> isn't doing any real harm,

I see people who misidentify belief for truth as being potentially very dangerous, like religious fundamentalists, for instance. But you're right, I don't really fear them, they just anger/unnerve me.

> What did you ever expect from yourself?

I have huge [HUGE] expectations creatively, not because I want money, fame, glamour, praise - more because I feel [and have always felt] like an overflowing cornucopia. Imagine a man with an almost uncontrollable sexual appetite... I'm that man, except creatively. There's just an swelling abundance I have to get rid of, and get rid of, and get rid of, and I can't think of anything else.

But the trick is, are you seeing that as a description or a definition?

I mean, if you were simply describing the way you were feeling at a certain moment, then it's great. And seeing some of your works, I could only agree. :-)

But as a definition...
That means you start expecting yourself to always be bursting with creativity, and once you start expecting, the moment you find yourself not living up to that expectation you get all paranoid and start feeling you've lost it...
I guess that's when you get your "fear".

It's obviously going to be a bit of both, it is for all of us.
But if we could just throw away what we expected ourselves to be and just were then we could flow creatively.
Self critique would be purely constructive ("it's good, but wouldn't it be even better if we...") and all would be great.

So one thing saying it... :-)


I guess I don't fear anything when I really think about it, even things that I know to be dangerous. For me, fear is spontaneous emotion when my rationality goes and I'm suddenly feeling... you know... :-S

And it's almost always down to pre-concieved ideas and the like.

I know exactly what you mean.

I'm one of those people who can get very nervous about any up-and-coming thing - and I believe my 'nerves' played a big part in me failing my driving test no more than 4 times in the last 2 years; among several others things in my life.

Sometimes, at work, for example, I may feel nervous and it'll show - I've even had a customer ask me what I look so "worried" about, at times?

When I try to sit down and think of what bothers me so much, I come up with a whole list of things - most of which, no doubt, my own mind has simply made to much of, being that way.


I have found ways to help deal with it, but they don't seem to be 'permanent' enough. Taking deep breaths, smiling and acting confident around does help in a job where you're thrown face-to-face with people you wake up "fearing" - yet, in-time, it all seems to fade a little.

I haven't properly tried writing things down yet, so I will do.

One of the worst things about it, though, is that it can really get you down so easily. And, it can last for weeks on end. Especially at this time of year.

Yet, I don't believe you can fully help someone to permanently overcome ALL of their fears, for life. I don't believe people can change that much (despite what we hear of money and such).

Well, nothing short term will cure it.

Sort of realising that you're being all irrational, doesn't solve anything in the short run, but I think the more you confirm your common sense by experience, the more instinctive it comes...


I know how much I've gone forward since 3 years ago.
And I wouldn't say I'm there yet, or even nearly there, but I like where I am now a lot more than I was a year ago, let alone 3.

I guess it's part of growing up. :-)

Yeah, we all fear lots. I fear that when I'm not in some sort of depression, then I'm just being an ignorant idiot. The fact is, when I am depressed, I'm not much different, its just that I hate myself, so its ok to be an ignorant idiot. I fear that I'll never really know myself properly, and that im not gonna appreciate what I can enough.

Solskjær wrote:
> I have found ways to help deal with it, but they don't seem to be
> 'permanent' enough. Taking deep breaths, smiling and acting confident
> around does help in a job where you're thrown face-to-face with
> people you wake up "fearing" - yet, in-time, it all seems
> to fade a little.

I agree! Although, it makes you [not you-you, anyone ;)] a little sad afterwards knowing that this 'front' you're putting on isn't real and kinda puts you right back where you were before.
So I think we need to try really hard to carry on with this whole confidence and dealing thing, but that's annoying, because it's like it makes us feel we can't be ourselves anymore.

> One of the worst things about it, though, is that it can really get
> you down so easily. And, it can last for weeks on end. Especially at
> this time of year.

What do you mean this time of year? Christmas??