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It occurs to me that I'm a utter coward most of the time. I have trouble over-coming it, and it's half the problem why I get so paranoid and all sorts of weird crap happens.
However, I've realised that actually writing down what I'm afraid of, working it out in my mind and then scribbling it down, actually really helps me to see what I have to face. In many ways, it's a little system to see what direction I need to go next, admit to the fear, then attack it.
So, just out of interest (and to see if anyone else has the same problem with being afraid, anxious and the like), I ask what you're afraid of at the moment? You never know, with it out of your system and admitted, maybe it won't be such a problem?
I'm not just talking about phobias like spiders, heights, etc.. more things like debt, being on stage, talking to a girl, etc.
Any other fear related comments also welcome.
However, I've realised that actually writing down what I'm afraid of, working it out in my mind and then scribbling it down, actually really helps me to see what I have to face. In many ways, it's a little system to see what direction I need to go next, admit to the fear, then attack it.
So, just out of interest (and to see if anyone else has the same problem with being afraid, anxious and the like), I ask what you're afraid of at the moment? You never know, with it out of your system and admitted, maybe it won't be such a problem?
I'm not just talking about phobias like spiders, heights, etc.. more things like debt, being on stage, talking to a girl, etc.
Any other fear related comments also welcome.
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I don't really know if I mean that, but -
I fear losing my future. Well, I fear death to be honest.
Like, recently I've been getting excited for going to University next year, I'm really looking forward to going and having the time of my life.
As well as going to America next year.
All great stuff is happening to me in the near future, but I fear dying. If I die before the time comes, I'll never experience Uni or anything, that'll be it.
I don't want to die!
Like, recently I've been getting excited for going to University next year, I'm really looking forward to going and having the time of my life.
As well as going to America next year.
All great stuff is happening to me in the near future, but I fear dying. If I die before the time comes, I'll never experience Uni or anything, that'll be it.
I don't want to die!
Doh darn it!
Reading this made me worry about irrationally fearing things! :-S
Reading this made me worry about irrationally fearing things! :-S
Black Glove wrote:
> I fear people who unwaveringly believe the beliefs they hold are the
> benevolent truth. People who just won't entertain the notion that
> there are other possibilities outside of their 'truth'.
Do you genuinely fear that? Doesn't is just wind you up a little.
Why is it scary?
I mean, it might be holding people back, but most of the time it isn't doing any real harm, and any superficial harm it's doing, isn't that just their problem?
> On a personal level I fear most things: all to do with people. The
> superficiality of people, the expectations of people, their
> attitudes, their beliefs, their prejudices - it all stems from other
> people.
I fear the same things, but the way I see it is that it stems from me.
It's not the people that scare me, it's my prejudices of them that puts my mind into nerves mode.
I like to think that I'm slowly overcoming it all, but I'm not sure.
I suppose I'm a lot better and more open than I was about 3 years ago.
I'm still a long way off from where I was when I was young and was too innocent to suspect anything, but I guess it wouldn't work being like that because back then I was always in "safe" situations, where there was always an adult assigned to look after me.
I guess the way forward is to take danger rationally, because fear doesn't really help you in a dangerous situation, does it?
> I fear people - just thinking about the sheer numbers ticking over on
> the skin of the globe sends into spiralling despair... and I am one
> of them - just another little body and mind, just another nobody
> dominated by his genes, waiting, searching for what...?
Why do you have to see that as such a bad thing?
What did you ever expect from yourself?
What does it change?
> I fear 'me' - I fear those recurring moments when I realize that all
> and every thing just might be pointless and fatally flawed.
I guess I don't fear myself, but I know EXACTLY who I'm holding responsible for it!
> But to be positive: even though fear is the shadowy bogeyman stalking
> in our footsteps, I think we should never allow fear to catch us and
> clamp our mouths and eyes - there are stronger and greater things in
> life like...
That reminded me of those classes in Donnie Darko. :-)
But yeah, fear is bad for you. It holds you back, so if you were in danger, fear could only stop you from working your way to safety.
Not to say be reckless, but...
If I saw a fire, I wouldn't fear it, but I'd know better than to get burnt by it. And if someone attacks me, fear might make me freeze, wheras rationally I would try and escape, you know?
How did our evolution softwire fear into our systems? :-S
> I fear people who unwaveringly believe the beliefs they hold are the
> benevolent truth. People who just won't entertain the notion that
> there are other possibilities outside of their 'truth'.
Do you genuinely fear that? Doesn't is just wind you up a little.
Why is it scary?
I mean, it might be holding people back, but most of the time it isn't doing any real harm, and any superficial harm it's doing, isn't that just their problem?
> On a personal level I fear most things: all to do with people. The
> superficiality of people, the expectations of people, their
> attitudes, their beliefs, their prejudices - it all stems from other
> people.
I fear the same things, but the way I see it is that it stems from me.
It's not the people that scare me, it's my prejudices of them that puts my mind into nerves mode.
I like to think that I'm slowly overcoming it all, but I'm not sure.
I suppose I'm a lot better and more open than I was about 3 years ago.
I'm still a long way off from where I was when I was young and was too innocent to suspect anything, but I guess it wouldn't work being like that because back then I was always in "safe" situations, where there was always an adult assigned to look after me.
I guess the way forward is to take danger rationally, because fear doesn't really help you in a dangerous situation, does it?
> I fear people - just thinking about the sheer numbers ticking over on
> the skin of the globe sends into spiralling despair... and I am one
> of them - just another little body and mind, just another nobody
> dominated by his genes, waiting, searching for what...?
Why do you have to see that as such a bad thing?
What did you ever expect from yourself?
What does it change?
> I fear 'me' - I fear those recurring moments when I realize that all
> and every thing just might be pointless and fatally flawed.
I guess I don't fear myself, but I know EXACTLY who I'm holding responsible for it!
> But to be positive: even though fear is the shadowy bogeyman stalking
> in our footsteps, I think we should never allow fear to catch us and
> clamp our mouths and eyes - there are stronger and greater things in
> life like...
That reminded me of those classes in Donnie Darko. :-)
But yeah, fear is bad for you. It holds you back, so if you were in danger, fear could only stop you from working your way to safety.
Not to say be reckless, but...
If I saw a fire, I wouldn't fear it, but I'd know better than to get burnt by it. And if someone attacks me, fear might make me freeze, wheras rationally I would try and escape, you know?
How did our evolution softwire fear into our systems? :-S
Black Glove wrote:
> I fear people who unwaveringly believe the beliefs they hold are the
> benevolent truth. People who just won't entertain the notion that
> there are other possibilities outside of their 'truth'.
Do you genuinely fear that? Doesn't is just wind you up a little.
Why is it scary?
I mean, it might be holding people back, but most of the time it isn't doing any real harm, and any superficial harm it's doing, isn't that just their problem?
> On a personal level I fear most things: all to do with people. The
> superficiality of people, the expectations of people, their
> attitudes, their beliefs, their prejudices - it all stems from other
> people.
I fear the same things, but the way I see it is that it stems from me.
It's not the people that scare me, it's my prejudices of them that puts my mind into nerves mode.
I like to think that I'm slowly overcoming it all, but I'm not sure.
I suppose I'm a lot better and more open than I was about 3 years ago.
I'm still a long way off from where I was when I was young and was too innocent to suspect anything, but I guess it wouldn't work being like that because back then I was always in "safe" situations, where there was always an adult assigned to look after me.
I guess the way forward is to take danger rationally, because fear doesn't really help you in a dangerous situation, does it?
> I fear people - just thinking about the sheer numbers ticking over on
> the skin of the globe sends into spiralling despair... and I am one
> of them - just another little body and mind, just another nobody
> dominated by his genes, waiting, searching for what...?
Why do you have to see that as such a bad thing?
What did you ever expect from yourself?
What does it change?
> I fear 'me' - I fear those recurring moments when I realize that all
> and every thing just might be pointless and fatally flawed.
I guess I don't fear myself, but I know EXACTLY who I'm holding responsible for it!
> But to be positive: even though fear is the shadowy bogeyman stalking
> in our footsteps, I think we should never allow fear to catch us and
> clamp our mouths and eyes - there are stronger and greater things in
> life like...
That reminded me of those classes in Donnie Darko. :-)
But yeah, fear is bad for you. It holds you back, so if you were in danger, fear could only stop you from working your way to safety.
Not to say be reckless, but...
If I saw a fire, I wouldn't fear it, but I'd know better than to get burnt by it. And if someone attacks me, fear might make me freeze, wheras rationally I would try and escape, you know?
How did our evolution softwire fear into our systems? :-S
> I fear people who unwaveringly believe the beliefs they hold are the
> benevolent truth. People who just won't entertain the notion that
> there are other possibilities outside of their 'truth'.
Do you genuinely fear that? Doesn't is just wind you up a little.
Why is it scary?
I mean, it might be holding people back, but most of the time it isn't doing any real harm, and any superficial harm it's doing, isn't that just their problem?
> On a personal level I fear most things: all to do with people. The
> superficiality of people, the expectations of people, their
> attitudes, their beliefs, their prejudices - it all stems from other
> people.
I fear the same things, but the way I see it is that it stems from me.
It's not the people that scare me, it's my prejudices of them that puts my mind into nerves mode.
I like to think that I'm slowly overcoming it all, but I'm not sure.
I suppose I'm a lot better and more open than I was about 3 years ago.
I'm still a long way off from where I was when I was young and was too innocent to suspect anything, but I guess it wouldn't work being like that because back then I was always in "safe" situations, where there was always an adult assigned to look after me.
I guess the way forward is to take danger rationally, because fear doesn't really help you in a dangerous situation, does it?
> I fear people - just thinking about the sheer numbers ticking over on
> the skin of the globe sends into spiralling despair... and I am one
> of them - just another little body and mind, just another nobody
> dominated by his genes, waiting, searching for what...?
Why do you have to see that as such a bad thing?
What did you ever expect from yourself?
What does it change?
> I fear 'me' - I fear those recurring moments when I realize that all
> and every thing just might be pointless and fatally flawed.
I guess I don't fear myself, but I know EXACTLY who I'm holding responsible for it!
> But to be positive: even though fear is the shadowy bogeyman stalking
> in our footsteps, I think we should never allow fear to catch us and
> clamp our mouths and eyes - there are stronger and greater things in
> life like...
That reminded me of those classes in Donnie Darko. :-)
But yeah, fear is bad for you. It holds you back, so if you were in danger, fear could only stop you from working your way to safety.
Not to say be reckless, but...
If I saw a fire, I wouldn't fear it, but I'd know better than to get burnt by it. And if someone attacks me, fear might make me freeze, wheras rationally I would try and escape, you know?
How did our evolution softwire fear into our systems? :-S
Strafio wrote:
"How did our evolution softwire fear into our systems? :-S"
Because we're probably not supposed to fight it. Remember, we're a virus :) Fear has probably kept us alive for God knows how long.
I'm terrified about my art. I can draw alright, but I can't work it into my lifestyle easily... not in the way I can sit down and write, etc.. I can't easily sit down and draw.
(You fat titty, that's half the problem. If you just found an object, sat down and and actually drew it, you'd get satisfaction in it. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself and just do it, you've got nothing to prove to anyone. Well, apart from the interview that requires a portfolio, but fearwise, er, you know what I mean.)
I think stress and pressure does create so much fear in me, it's a serious problem... I need to find the balance, enough pressure so I produce good work, but not too much to pin me down completely... argh, it's always about balance! Damnit.
"How did our evolution softwire fear into our systems? :-S"
Because we're probably not supposed to fight it. Remember, we're a virus :) Fear has probably kept us alive for God knows how long.
I'm terrified about my art. I can draw alright, but I can't work it into my lifestyle easily... not in the way I can sit down and write, etc.. I can't easily sit down and draw.
(You fat titty, that's half the problem. If you just found an object, sat down and and actually drew it, you'd get satisfaction in it. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself and just do it, you've got nothing to prove to anyone. Well, apart from the interview that requires a portfolio, but fearwise, er, you know what I mean.)
I think stress and pressure does create so much fear in me, it's a serious problem... I need to find the balance, enough pressure so I produce good work, but not too much to pin me down completely... argh, it's always about balance! Damnit.
Fear is actually one of the least problems I have.
+1 me
+1 me
I'm an absolute coward. In the sense of fearing physical harm AND emotionally. Right now I'm worried about moving to the day time at my job - new hours, new team, new manager, new building. I've spent 10 months getting to know the people on my team and now, for the sake of 2 months, they've split us all up.
I met them on Friday, my new team/manager. I *did* go to the pub with two of them (talking to them for five seconds and they invite me to the pub with them) which was a good ice breaker, and it means I can talk to them tomorrow morning instead of sitting by myself, but still - I'm nervous.
Anyway, yeah - I'm a coward, one of the reasons I did boxing and stuff was so that if I *did* get dragged into a fight, I could do something about it. I would literally have to get dragged into a fight, because unless I'm stepping in to help someone I care about, there's no way you'd see me brawling in a car park.
edit - oh yeah, and I can totally relate to Grix's second post, it pretty much sums me up perfectly
I met them on Friday, my new team/manager. I *did* go to the pub with two of them (talking to them for five seconds and they invite me to the pub with them) which was a good ice breaker, and it means I can talk to them tomorrow morning instead of sitting by myself, but still - I'm nervous.
Anyway, yeah - I'm a coward, one of the reasons I did boxing and stuff was so that if I *did* get dragged into a fight, I could do something about it. I would literally have to get dragged into a fight, because unless I'm stepping in to help someone I care about, there's no way you'd see me brawling in a car park.
edit - oh yeah, and I can totally relate to Grix's second post, it pretty much sums me up perfectly
Grix Thraves wrote:
> I'm terrified about my art. I can draw alright, but I can't work it
> into my lifestyle easily... not in the way I can sit down and write,
> etc.. I can't easily sit down and draw.
I find this comes from too many expectations.
If you expect everything you do to be good then you'll be putting pressure on yourself, and sometimes it's silly random ideas that devellop into something REALLY special.
Because I expect every song I write to be really special, it takes ages to find the perfect words to do the perfect way, and even then it's not normally THAT good.
Wheras if I just had no standards and expectations when writing then I could write loads more, and then save the critique for editing and choosing what to use and what not.
One thing I've sort of noticed lately that with a lot of famous scientists, thinkers, philosophers, writers, etc.
They could be famous for one great idea or book or song or whatever.
The fact is, their 99 pieces of work that led up to it were complete balls but it didn't matter, and no one cares.
Perhaps these expectations are more a form of impatience than fear...
> I'm terrified about my art. I can draw alright, but I can't work it
> into my lifestyle easily... not in the way I can sit down and write,
> etc.. I can't easily sit down and draw.
I find this comes from too many expectations.
If you expect everything you do to be good then you'll be putting pressure on yourself, and sometimes it's silly random ideas that devellop into something REALLY special.
Because I expect every song I write to be really special, it takes ages to find the perfect words to do the perfect way, and even then it's not normally THAT good.
Wheras if I just had no standards and expectations when writing then I could write loads more, and then save the critique for editing and choosing what to use and what not.
One thing I've sort of noticed lately that with a lot of famous scientists, thinkers, philosophers, writers, etc.
They could be famous for one great idea or book or song or whatever.
The fact is, their 99 pieces of work that led up to it were complete balls but it didn't matter, and no one cares.
Perhaps these expectations are more a form of impatience than fear...
Hmmm what do i fear, bloody loads when i think about it.
Being stuck who i am at the moment, i can't say i've ever been completely happy with myself, it seems as i try to lose my bad traits i find new ones as strange as it sounds coming from someone who who has wasted the last 8 years i'm a perfectionist and i fear not being perfect, i can't accept my own faults.
I fear my past, present and future and it's constantly in my mind that i'm being stalked by my health, i can't escape what happened and it follows me as a constant reminder that no matter what i do it can all be taken away very quickly so why bother building a life when the wrecking ball is right next door.
I'm not sure who i want to be anymore, til i was about 15 i was quite driven, you know the sort, top of the class teachers pet but i had some sort of anger in me, i could react quite easily and was very fragile and on edge and then at some point it all went away, i pretty much gave up on everything, lost my drive, calmed down, effectively and knowingly sabotaged my GCSE's and spent the next 4 years doing nothing at all and slowly getting angrier again but without anywhere to focus it. I'm not sure whether i want to go back to who i was aged 14 but i dont want to stay as i am either.
I fear losing the person i consider to be the best friend i've ever had, i'm not a trusting person at all, i've always been a loner because i decided people would only ever let me down or they would leave or i would leave and i decided that it wasn't worth finding new people only to lose them. When i joined here in january i was just looking to start talking to people again, i was gaurded and i had no intention or belief i would find someone i could form any attachment to, i was proven spectacularly wrong, in Trish May i have the friend i always needed, i trust her completely and i fear losing her more than anything else.
I fear that whatever seems to have a grip on my mind is actually nothing, just something i made up an excuse to be lazy, i find myself questioning the whole nature of depression, does it actually exist or is it just me being weak, i dont know anymore, maybe if it was my fault i could blame myself and do something about it instead of having some invisible illness, i'm tired of saying to people " I'm not well " only to have them reply " You look fine, you're faking it " i'd rather be lazy than lazy and called a liar.
When i came in this post i was going to say that although writing things down was good it was unnecessary as it could all be worked out in your head but i was wrong, typing it all out sort of slows you down and makes you go into a little more depth whereas you would move onto a different thing in your head.
Being stuck who i am at the moment, i can't say i've ever been completely happy with myself, it seems as i try to lose my bad traits i find new ones as strange as it sounds coming from someone who who has wasted the last 8 years i'm a perfectionist and i fear not being perfect, i can't accept my own faults.
I fear my past, present and future and it's constantly in my mind that i'm being stalked by my health, i can't escape what happened and it follows me as a constant reminder that no matter what i do it can all be taken away very quickly so why bother building a life when the wrecking ball is right next door.
I'm not sure who i want to be anymore, til i was about 15 i was quite driven, you know the sort, top of the class teachers pet but i had some sort of anger in me, i could react quite easily and was very fragile and on edge and then at some point it all went away, i pretty much gave up on everything, lost my drive, calmed down, effectively and knowingly sabotaged my GCSE's and spent the next 4 years doing nothing at all and slowly getting angrier again but without anywhere to focus it. I'm not sure whether i want to go back to who i was aged 14 but i dont want to stay as i am either.
I fear losing the person i consider to be the best friend i've ever had, i'm not a trusting person at all, i've always been a loner because i decided people would only ever let me down or they would leave or i would leave and i decided that it wasn't worth finding new people only to lose them. When i joined here in january i was just looking to start talking to people again, i was gaurded and i had no intention or belief i would find someone i could form any attachment to, i was proven spectacularly wrong, in Trish May i have the friend i always needed, i trust her completely and i fear losing her more than anything else.
I fear that whatever seems to have a grip on my mind is actually nothing, just something i made up an excuse to be lazy, i find myself questioning the whole nature of depression, does it actually exist or is it just me being weak, i dont know anymore, maybe if it was my fault i could blame myself and do something about it instead of having some invisible illness, i'm tired of saying to people " I'm not well " only to have them reply " You look fine, you're faking it " i'd rather be lazy than lazy and called a liar.
When i came in this post i was going to say that although writing things down was good it was unnecessary as it could all be worked out in your head but i was wrong, typing it all out sort of slows you down and makes you go into a little more depth whereas you would move onto a different thing in your head.
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