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toilet troubles
i thought about this post while sitting on the loo at ASDA
i really neaded the loo and i went straight to asds a fter school i needed the loo since dinner time by about half 4 i really had a bad stomach and i needed to go. but i rearly go to the loo in diffrent places from my own loo, any ways while i was sitting there i came up with an idea that we MEN always follow a kind of pre programed toilet etticate.
the loo
when sitting on the loo doing the buissnes if youare the only one its absolutly fine.
but when you are the only one then someone comes in to use the urinel and you are about to lose the weight(let it drop) in a silent bathroom may i add you want to hold it until the wash thier hand thats when there is lots of noise and you can safely hear the "plop" on your own.
while you are in the loo continued
next senario, when someone is in the cubicle next you th one you are in, straining is a no go and if you are one of the public that are strainers this is the worst senario to be in. but if they are a strainer and a loud ploper then you feel like going mad.
on the loo continued,
totally surrounded this is cubicles and the urinals this is a safer zone than the one when you are on your own as this is a totaly noisy zome men chatting,washing,drying,and using the hand dryer.
the urinel
using a urine there is a splashzone if a man comes in and the urinel if full eticate is to wait but if you have a barger that use it anyway unlucky you this is whats know and tresspassing the splash zone which means when there pee hits the urinel it splashes back and you get it all over your trouses and shoes. annoying!
the single urinels personal area but there is also an etticate for if there are say 5 in a row
the safest place is next to either of that walls.
but if you use that one the next user is to use the furtist one away if they come next to you hurry up!
if the ones at the ends are occupied use the middle one
if there are one in the middle and two on the end use a cubicle easy!
if the cubicles are used well you are gonna have to do the mans work and step bravely to the urinel that has the most medium sized man on the same eye level as you will do
two tall means they have to look down no you when you talk
and to small makes them have to look down befor they look up.
the nod
when you step up to the urine the person closest to you will want to talk so as you slot your self in
give them the nod as everyone else that is going to use not already using does
conversation in the toilet
most convosations in toilets consist of the starters the middles and the ends as you zip up
starters
"havin a good time"
"who you with"
"special occasion"
"i was bustin"
"your drunk"
"what time you here till"
"you a regular" or "come here often"
"seen you around here befor" of "dont see you round here often"
middles
are replies to the starters
" yeah this pubs great"
"girlfriend" or " the lads"
"birthday" or "not really" or "stag night"
" yeah it think it the beer"
"no i am not" or "well maby" or "most definatly"
"when we get kicked out" or "until we go" or "dunno"
"na dont come here that often"
" yeah i was in here _____________(quote when you were there last) or "no i have come with my mates who lie around here"
ends
"see ya in there"
"might see you later"
" go and she what the misses is up to "
" need another drink"
" might see you in here in an hour"
comdom machine
no one uses the jonny machine if there is people in there, unless its your mates and then the laff at you and go ohhhh wos gettin some action tonight
the tap and sink
mainly used by the number 2ers but if the urinel user ues them the inly wash there thumb and index finger. small children often use tem in family pubs and clubs.
the check
the check is a routen you go throught to see which cublicle is the cleanist as some have lets say leftover 's and used tissue on the floor.
the routen involves you looking in each door and looking in the toilets and the surroinding areas
the cubicle seats
if you get a messy one the best thing to do is to use some tissue and then sit on that but if its in a real bad mess move on this is coverd in the "check"
Please thake note of this when next visiting the loos as i does happen!
by smiley
i thought about this post while sitting on the loo at ASDA
i really neaded the loo and i went straight to asds a fter school i needed the loo since dinner time by about half 4 i really had a bad stomach and i needed to go. but i rearly go to the loo in diffrent places from my own loo, any ways while i was sitting there i came up with an idea that we MEN always follow a kind of pre programed toilet etticate.
the loo
when sitting on the loo doing the buissnes if youare the only one its absolutly fine.
but when you are the only one then someone comes in to use the urinel and you are about to lose the weight(let it drop) in a silent bathroom may i add you want to hold it until the wash thier hand thats when there is lots of noise and you can safely hear the "plop" on your own.
while you are in the loo continued
next senario, when someone is in the cubicle next you th one you are in, straining is a no go and if you are one of the public that are strainers this is the worst senario to be in. but if they are a strainer and a loud ploper then you feel like going mad.
on the loo continued,
totally surrounded this is cubicles and the urinals this is a safer zone than the one when you are on your own as this is a totaly noisy zome men chatting,washing,drying,and using the hand dryer.
the urinel
using a urine there is a splashzone if a man comes in and the urinel if full eticate is to wait but if you have a barger that use it anyway unlucky you this is whats know and tresspassing the splash zone which means when there pee hits the urinel it splashes back and you get it all over your trouses and shoes. annoying!
the single urinels personal area but there is also an etticate for if there are say 5 in a row
the safest place is next to either of that walls.
but if you use that one the next user is to use the furtist one away if they come next to you hurry up!
if the ones at the ends are occupied use the middle one
if there are one in the middle and two on the end use a cubicle easy!
if the cubicles are used well you are gonna have to do the mans work and step bravely to the urinel that has the most medium sized man on the same eye level as you will do
two tall means they have to look down no you when you talk
and to small makes them have to look down befor they look up.
the nod
when you step up to the urine the person closest to you will want to talk so as you slot your self in
give them the nod as everyone else that is going to use not already using does
conversation in the toilet
most convosations in toilets consist of the starters the middles and the ends as you zip up
starters
"havin a good time"
"who you with"
"special occasion"
"i was bustin"
"your drunk"
"what time you here till"
"you a regular" or "come here often"
"seen you around here befor" of "dont see you round here often"
middles
are replies to the starters
" yeah this pubs great"
"girlfriend" or " the lads"
"birthday" or "not really" or "stag night"
" yeah it think it the beer"
"no i am not" or "well maby" or "most definatly"
"when we get kicked out" or "until we go" or "dunno"
"na dont come here that often"
" yeah i was in here _____________(quote when you were there last) or "no i have come with my mates who lie around here"
ends
"see ya in there"
"might see you later"
" go and she what the misses is up to "
" need another drink"
" might see you in here in an hour"
comdom machine
no one uses the jonny machine if there is people in there, unless its your mates and then the laff at you and go ohhhh wos gettin some action tonight
the tap and sink
mainly used by the number 2ers but if the urinel user ues them the inly wash there thumb and index finger. small children often use tem in family pubs and clubs.
the check
the check is a routen you go throught to see which cublicle is the cleanist as some have lets say leftover 's and used tissue on the floor.
the routen involves you looking in each door and looking in the toilets and the surroinding areas
the cubicle seats
if you get a messy one the best thing to do is to use some tissue and then sit on that but if its in a real bad mess move on this is coverd in the "check"
Please thake note of this when next visiting the loos as i does happen!
by smiley
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well thanks for the nice comments URKIE some of the stuff you write bites aswell you know
Etiquette.
Strafio wrote:
> Atleast it's original.
Yes, I Agree.
no-one else thought of posting a topic about their observations of other people and themselves in public toilets before, have they.
> Atleast it's original.
Yes, I Agree.
no-one else thought of posting a topic about their observations of other people and themselves in public toilets before, have they.
Actually, if it wasn't for the bad writing (it's not very readable) it's not bad as topics have been going lately.
Atleast it's original.
Most people are flinging the clichés nowdays.
Atleast it's original.
Most people are flinging the clichés nowdays.
arj wrote:
> you watch this is true in the next toilet you go in watch an larn and
> the eat your words
This is one of those things in life arj that are usually best left unmentioned! There is something decidedly odd about someone going into the loos just to watch how people act!
> you watch this is true in the next toilet you go in watch an larn and
> the eat your words
This is one of those things in life arj that are usually best left unmentioned! There is something decidedly odd about someone going into the loos just to watch how people act!
I do hope there was a dash of sarcasm in that post, Dexy.
Its nice to see a newbie posting some good quality material
Good one.
Good one.
I guess our friend Arj has learned to spot the 'little things'.
Heh.
Wow, that was rather witty.
Heh.
Wow, that was rather witty.
arj wrote:
> you watch this is true in the next toilet you go in watch an larn
---
Yes, I'll watch and observe what happens in my nearest public toilet next time I stop by.
Did you learn something in the ASDA toilets as you looked around, then?
heh. heheh.
Face it Arj, you are wide open to snipes.
Like this post, for example.
> you watch this is true in the next toilet you go in watch an larn
---
Yes, I'll watch and observe what happens in my nearest public toilet next time I stop by.
Did you learn something in the ASDA toilets as you looked around, then?
heh. heheh.
Face it Arj, you are wide open to snipes.
Like this post, for example.
you watch this is true in the next toilet you go in watch an larn and the eat your words
Page: