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toilet troubles
i thought about this post while sitting on the loo at ASDA
i really neaded the loo and i went straight to asds a fter school i needed the loo since dinner time by about half 4 i really had a bad stomach and i needed to go. but i rearly go to the loo in diffrent places from my own loo, any ways while i was sitting there i came up with an idea that we MEN always follow a kind of pre programed toilet etticate.
the loo
when sitting on the loo doing the buissnes if youare the only one its absolutly fine.
but when you are the only one then someone comes in to use the urinel and you are about to lose the weight(let it drop) in a silent bathroom may i add you want to hold it until the wash thier hand thats when there is lots of noise and you can safely hear the "plop" on your own.
while you are in the loo continued
next senario, when someone is in the cubicle next you th one you are in, straining is a no go and if you are one of the public that are strainers this is the worst senario to be in. but if they are a strainer and a loud ploper then you feel like going mad.
on the loo continued,
totally surrounded this is cubicles and the urinals this is a safer zone than the one when you are on your own as this is a totaly noisy zome men chatting,washing,drying,and using the hand dryer.
the urinel
using a urine there is a splashzone if a man comes in and the urinel if full eticate is to wait but if you have a barger that use it anyway unlucky you this is whats know and tresspassing the splash zone which means when there pee hits the urinel it splashes back and you get it all over your trouses and shoes. annoying!
the single urinels personal area but there is also an etticate for if there are say 5 in a row
the safest place is next to either of that walls.
but if you use that one the next user is to use the furtist one away if they come next to you hurry up!
if the ones at the ends are occupied use the middle one
if there are one in the middle and two on the end use a cubicle easy!
if the cubicles are used well you are gonna have to do the mans work and step bravely to the urinel that has the most medium sized man on the same eye level as you will do
two tall means they have to look down no you when you talk
and to small makes them have to look down befor they look up.
the nod
when you step up to the urine the person closest to you will want to talk so as you slot your self in
give them the nod as everyone else that is going to use not already using does
conversation in the toilet
most convosations in toilets consist of the starters the middles and the ends as you zip up
starters
"havin a good time"
"who you with"
"special occasion"
"i was bustin"
"your drunk"
"what time you here till"
"you a regular" or "come here often"
"seen you around here befor" of "dont see you round here often"
middles
are replies to the starters
" yeah this pubs great"
"girlfriend" or " the lads"
"birthday" or "not really" or "stag night"
" yeah it think it the beer"
"no i am not" or "well maby" or "most definatly"
"when we get kicked out" or "until we go" or "dunno"
"na dont come here that often"
" yeah i was in here _____________(quote when you were there last) or "no i have come with my mates who lie around here"
ends
"see ya in there"
"might see you later"
" go and she what the misses is up to "
" need another drink"
" might see you in here in an hour"
comdom machine
no one uses the jonny machine if there is people in there, unless its your mates and then the laff at you and go ohhhh wos gettin some action tonight
the tap and sink
mainly used by the number 2ers but if the urinel user ues them the inly wash there thumb and index finger. small children often use tem in family pubs and clubs.
the check
the check is a routen you go throught to see which cublicle is the cleanist as some have lets say leftover 's and used tissue on the floor.
the routen involves you looking in each door and looking in the toilets and the surroinding areas
the cubicle seats
if you get a messy one the best thing to do is to use some tissue and then sit on that but if its in a real bad mess move on this is coverd in the "check"
Please thake note of this when next visiting the loos as i does happen!
by smiley
i thought about this post while sitting on the loo at ASDA
i really neaded the loo and i went straight to asds a fter school i needed the loo since dinner time by about half 4 i really had a bad stomach and i needed to go. but i rearly go to the loo in diffrent places from my own loo, any ways while i was sitting there i came up with an idea that we MEN always follow a kind of pre programed toilet etticate.
the loo
when sitting on the loo doing the buissnes if youare the only one its absolutly fine.
but when you are the only one then someone comes in to use the urinel and you are about to lose the weight(let it drop) in a silent bathroom may i add you want to hold it until the wash thier hand thats when there is lots of noise and you can safely hear the "plop" on your own.
while you are in the loo continued
next senario, when someone is in the cubicle next you th one you are in, straining is a no go and if you are one of the public that are strainers this is the worst senario to be in. but if they are a strainer and a loud ploper then you feel like going mad.
on the loo continued,
totally surrounded this is cubicles and the urinals this is a safer zone than the one when you are on your own as this is a totaly noisy zome men chatting,washing,drying,and using the hand dryer.
the urinel
using a urine there is a splashzone if a man comes in and the urinel if full eticate is to wait but if you have a barger that use it anyway unlucky you this is whats know and tresspassing the splash zone which means when there pee hits the urinel it splashes back and you get it all over your trouses and shoes. annoying!
the single urinels personal area but there is also an etticate for if there are say 5 in a row
the safest place is next to either of that walls.
but if you use that one the next user is to use the furtist one away if they come next to you hurry up!
if the ones at the ends are occupied use the middle one
if there are one in the middle and two on the end use a cubicle easy!
if the cubicles are used well you are gonna have to do the mans work and step bravely to the urinel that has the most medium sized man on the same eye level as you will do
two tall means they have to look down no you when you talk
and to small makes them have to look down befor they look up.
the nod
when you step up to the urine the person closest to you will want to talk so as you slot your self in
give them the nod as everyone else that is going to use not already using does
conversation in the toilet
most convosations in toilets consist of the starters the middles and the ends as you zip up
starters
"havin a good time"
"who you with"
"special occasion"
"i was bustin"
"your drunk"
"what time you here till"
"you a regular" or "come here often"
"seen you around here befor" of "dont see you round here often"
middles
are replies to the starters
" yeah this pubs great"
"girlfriend" or " the lads"
"birthday" or "not really" or "stag night"
" yeah it think it the beer"
"no i am not" or "well maby" or "most definatly"
"when we get kicked out" or "until we go" or "dunno"
"na dont come here that often"
" yeah i was in here _____________(quote when you were there last) or "no i have come with my mates who lie around here"
ends
"see ya in there"
"might see you later"
" go and she what the misses is up to "
" need another drink"
" might see you in here in an hour"
comdom machine
no one uses the jonny machine if there is people in there, unless its your mates and then the laff at you and go ohhhh wos gettin some action tonight
the tap and sink
mainly used by the number 2ers but if the urinel user ues them the inly wash there thumb and index finger. small children often use tem in family pubs and clubs.
the check
the check is a routen you go throught to see which cublicle is the cleanist as some have lets say leftover 's and used tissue on the floor.
the routen involves you looking in each door and looking in the toilets and the surroinding areas
the cubicle seats
if you get a messy one the best thing to do is to use some tissue and then sit on that but if its in a real bad mess move on this is coverd in the "check"
Please thake note of this when next visiting the loos as i does happen!
by smiley
Page:
toilet troubles
i thought about this post while sitting on the loo at ASDA
i really neaded the loo and i went straight to asds a fter school i needed the loo since dinner time by about half 4 i really had a bad stomach and i needed to go. but i rearly go to the loo in diffrent places from my own loo, any ways while i was sitting there i came up with an idea that we MEN always follow a kind of pre programed toilet etticate.
the loo
when sitting on the loo doing the buissnes if youare the only one its absolutly fine.
but when you are the only one then someone comes in to use the urinel and you are about to lose the weight(let it drop) in a silent bathroom may i add you want to hold it until the wash thier hand thats when there is lots of noise and you can safely hear the "plop" on your own.
while you are in the loo continued
next senario, when someone is in the cubicle next you th one you are in, straining is a no go and if you are one of the public that are strainers this is the worst senario to be in. but if they are a strainer and a loud ploper then you feel like going mad.
on the loo continued,
totally surrounded this is cubicles and the urinals this is a safer zone than the one when you are on your own as this is a totaly noisy zome men chatting,washing,drying,and using the hand dryer.
the urinel
using a urine there is a splashzone if a man comes in and the urinel if full eticate is to wait but if you have a barger that use it anyway unlucky you this is whats know and tresspassing the splash zone which means when there pee hits the urinel it splashes back and you get it all over your trouses and shoes. annoying!
the single urinels personal area but there is also an etticate for if there are say 5 in a row
the safest place is next to either of that walls.
but if you use that one the next user is to use the furtist one away if they come next to you hurry up!
if the ones at the ends are occupied use the middle one
if there are one in the middle and two on the end use a cubicle easy!
if the cubicles are used well you are gonna have to do the mans work and step bravely to the urinel that has the most medium sized man on the same eye level as you will do
two tall means they have to look down no you when you talk
and to small makes them have to look down befor they look up.
the nod
when you step up to the urine the person closest to you will want to talk so as you slot your self in
give them the nod as everyone else that is going to use not already using does
conversation in the toilet
most convosations in toilets consist of the starters the middles and the ends as you zip up
starters
"havin a good time"
"who you with"
"special occasion"
"i was bustin"
"your drunk"
"what time you here till"
"you a regular" or "come here often"
"seen you around here befor" of "dont see you round here often"
middles
are replies to the starters
" yeah this pubs great"
"girlfriend" or " the lads"
"birthday" or "not really" or "stag night"
" yeah it think it the beer"
"no i am not" or "well maby" or "most definatly"
"when we get kicked out" or "until we go" or "dunno"
"na dont come here that often"
" yeah i was in here _____________(quote when you were there last) or "no i have come with my mates who lie around here"
ends
"see ya in there"
"might see you later"
" go and she what the misses is up to "
" need another drink"
" might see you in here in an hour"
comdom machine
no one uses the jonny machine if there is people in there, unless its your mates and then the laff at you and go ohhhh wos gettin some action tonight
the tap and sink
mainly used by the number 2ers but if the urinel user ues them the inly wash there thumb and index finger. small children often use tem in family pubs and clubs.
the check
the check is a routen you go throught to see which cublicle is the cleanist as some have lets say leftover 's and used tissue on the floor.
the routen involves you looking in each door and looking in the toilets and the surroinding areas
the cubicle seats
if you get a messy one the best thing to do is to use some tissue and then sit on that but if its in a real bad mess move on this is coverd in the "check"
Please thake note of this when next visiting the loos as i does happen!
by smiley
i thought about this post while sitting on the loo at ASDA
i really neaded the loo and i went straight to asds a fter school i needed the loo since dinner time by about half 4 i really had a bad stomach and i needed to go. but i rearly go to the loo in diffrent places from my own loo, any ways while i was sitting there i came up with an idea that we MEN always follow a kind of pre programed toilet etticate.
the loo
when sitting on the loo doing the buissnes if youare the only one its absolutly fine.
but when you are the only one then someone comes in to use the urinel and you are about to lose the weight(let it drop) in a silent bathroom may i add you want to hold it until the wash thier hand thats when there is lots of noise and you can safely hear the "plop" on your own.
while you are in the loo continued
next senario, when someone is in the cubicle next you th one you are in, straining is a no go and if you are one of the public that are strainers this is the worst senario to be in. but if they are a strainer and a loud ploper then you feel like going mad.
on the loo continued,
totally surrounded this is cubicles and the urinals this is a safer zone than the one when you are on your own as this is a totaly noisy zome men chatting,washing,drying,and using the hand dryer.
the urinel
using a urine there is a splashzone if a man comes in and the urinel if full eticate is to wait but if you have a barger that use it anyway unlucky you this is whats know and tresspassing the splash zone which means when there pee hits the urinel it splashes back and you get it all over your trouses and shoes. annoying!
the single urinels personal area but there is also an etticate for if there are say 5 in a row
the safest place is next to either of that walls.
but if you use that one the next user is to use the furtist one away if they come next to you hurry up!
if the ones at the ends are occupied use the middle one
if there are one in the middle and two on the end use a cubicle easy!
if the cubicles are used well you are gonna have to do the mans work and step bravely to the urinel that has the most medium sized man on the same eye level as you will do
two tall means they have to look down no you when you talk
and to small makes them have to look down befor they look up.
the nod
when you step up to the urine the person closest to you will want to talk so as you slot your self in
give them the nod as everyone else that is going to use not already using does
conversation in the toilet
most convosations in toilets consist of the starters the middles and the ends as you zip up
starters
"havin a good time"
"who you with"
"special occasion"
"i was bustin"
"your drunk"
"what time you here till"
"you a regular" or "come here often"
"seen you around here befor" of "dont see you round here often"
middles
are replies to the starters
" yeah this pubs great"
"girlfriend" or " the lads"
"birthday" or "not really" or "stag night"
" yeah it think it the beer"
"no i am not" or "well maby" or "most definatly"
"when we get kicked out" or "until we go" or "dunno"
"na dont come here that often"
" yeah i was in here _____________(quote when you were there last) or "no i have come with my mates who lie around here"
ends
"see ya in there"
"might see you later"
" go and she what the misses is up to "
" need another drink"
" might see you in here in an hour"
comdom machine
no one uses the jonny machine if there is people in there, unless its your mates and then the laff at you and go ohhhh wos gettin some action tonight
the tap and sink
mainly used by the number 2ers but if the urinel user ues them the inly wash there thumb and index finger. small children often use tem in family pubs and clubs.
the check
the check is a routen you go throught to see which cublicle is the cleanist as some have lets say leftover 's and used tissue on the floor.
the routen involves you looking in each door and looking in the toilets and the surroinding areas
the cubicle seats
if you get a messy one the best thing to do is to use some tissue and then sit on that but if its in a real bad mess move on this is coverd in the "check"
Please thake note of this when next visiting the loos as i does happen!
by smiley
Do I speak for everyone when I say;
What in the name of Jesus? - (Forgiveth me Forest Fan, for I have used thy saviours name in vaineth. eth.)
What in the name of Jesus? - (Forgiveth me Forest Fan, for I have used thy saviours name in vaineth. eth.)
Azul wrote:
> Do I speak for everyone when I say;
>
> What in the name of Jesus? - (Forgiveth me Forest Fan, for I
> have used thy saviours name in vaineth. eth.)
I agree... If it was a choice between reading this again and a frontal lobotomy, its the lobotomy all the way...
> Do I speak for everyone when I say;
>
> What in the name of Jesus? - (Forgiveth me Forest Fan, for I
> have used thy saviours name in vaineth. eth.)
I agree... If it was a choice between reading this again and a frontal lobotomy, its the lobotomy all the way...
I found it quite hard to read because of the poor English, so hard in fact that I gave up before I got to the end. Well, that and i don't really want to read about a toilet routine.
*Crinkles eyebrows*
Wha ...
Wha ...
What. The. Fu...
Award for the most disgusting and revealing post ever goes to THIS.
You will be the death of me.
Award for the most disgusting and revealing post ever goes to THIS.
You will be the death of me.
I didn't know you were an expert on S**t, Arj.
UrkiE-UK wrote:
> Award for the most disgusting and revealing post ever goes to THIS.
You have very low standards.
> Award for the most disgusting and revealing post ever goes to THIS.
You have very low standards.
LOL ha ha boom boom this is for a audience that goes out not sit at there pc all the time
FinalFantasyFanatic wrote:
> UrkiE-UK wrote:
> Award for the most disgusting and revealing post ever goes to THIS.
>
> You have very low standards.
You're right, but when you know the guy that spawned this evil, it causes much mental anguish.
> UrkiE-UK wrote:
> Award for the most disgusting and revealing post ever goes to THIS.
>
> You have very low standards.
You're right, but when you know the guy that spawned this evil, it causes much mental anguish.
Page: