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"Limericks"

The Limerick may be the lowest form of poetry, but they're great fun and fantastic for teaching children how to get a start in writing poems and understanding rhyme.

Here are some of my favorite (plus a few of my own)

There was an old man from Darjeeling
Who travelled from London to Ealing
It said on the door,
'Please don't spit on the floor'
So he carefully spat on the ceiling.


There was a young lady of Lynn,
Who was so uncommonly thin,
That when she essayed
To drink lemonade,
She slipped through the straw and fell in.

There was a young person named Ned
Who dined before going to bed,
On lobster and ham
And salad and jam,
And when he awoke he was dead.

There was a young man of Devizes,
Whose ears were of different sizes;
One was quite small,
And of no use at all,
But the other was huge and won prizes.


And now mine...

There was a young man named Snuggly,
Who danced with girls that were ugly,
When the lights came on
He saw he'd done wrong,
And always exclaimed 'bugg@r me!'

There was a young man name of Grix
Who could do with words lots of tricks,
He'd write on the spot,
And get praised quite a lot
He's been doing it since he was six.


Anyone else?

There was a poster called allardini
Who's penis was remarkably teeny
So he married a midget
Who would constantly fidget
and it was the biggest nob she's ever seen-i

'And when he awoke he was dead.'

classic

We should start trading insults like rappers do in contests, but with limericks.

There was once a young man of Oporta
Who daily got shorter and shorter,
The reason he said
Was the hod on his head,
Which was filled with the heaviest mortar.

There was a young girl called Mystique,
Who was thin and incredibly sleek,
She made a few bob
Then got a boob job,
And now they name her twin peak.

There was a boy named allardini
Whose writing was scruffy and silly,
When asked why it was
He just said "because,
I'm writing all this with my willy"

That last one is genius. :D