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I'm so bored so why not have a jokathon. Just put down your own jokes, jokes you found online or just somthing you heard somone say. PLEASE SOMONE MAKE ME LAUGH!
There were 3 students in class called zip, willy and pee. The teacher walked out the room to talk to another teacher so zip, willy and pee got up and went over to the cupboard. Zip stood ontop of the cupboard, Willy hid inside it and pee just stood there. The teacher came in and very angry. She said " Zip down, Willy out and Pee in the corner!"
There were 3 students in class called zip, willy and pee. The teacher walked out the room to talk to another teacher so zip, willy and pee got up and went over to the cupboard. Zip stood ontop of the cupboard, Willy hid inside it and pee just stood there. The teacher came in and very angry. She said " Zip down, Willy out and Pee in the corner!"
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A black man walked into a cafe and realised he was the only black man in there. He takes a seat at the table and notices a white man sat behind him. The white man says "Coloured people arn't allowed in this place"
The black man looked at him and replied
"When i was born i was black,
When i grew up i was black,
When im sick im black,
When i go in the sun im black,
when im cold im black,
and when i die im black
but you sir...
When you were born you were pink,
When you were sick you were green,
When you stay in the sun your red,
When your cold you turn blue,
And when you die you turn purple.
Yet you have the cheek to call me coloured!"
lolage
The black man looked at him and replied
"When i was born i was black,
When i grew up i was black,
When im sick im black,
When i go in the sun im black,
when im cold im black,
and when i die im black
but you sir...
When you were born you were pink,
When you were sick you were green,
When you stay in the sun your red,
When your cold you turn blue,
And when you die you turn purple.
Yet you have the cheek to call me coloured!"
lolage
McLong wrote:
> Why does Snoop Dogg always carry an umbrella?
> ..
>
>
> Fo' drizzle!
Easily the best joke I've read in ages. I laughed so hard.
What's brown and rhymes with "shoop"?
Dr Dre.
> Why does Snoop Dogg always carry an umbrella?
> ..
>
>
> Fo' drizzle!
Easily the best joke I've read in ages. I laughed so hard.
What's brown and rhymes with "shoop"?
Dr Dre.
Haha. :)
And also:
t1mmie wrote:
> "Mummy, mummy, what happened to all your scabs?!"
>
> "Shut up and eat your cornflakes"
Eww!
And also:
t1mmie wrote:
> "Mummy, mummy, what happened to all your scabs?!"
>
> "Shut up and eat your cornflakes"
Eww!
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:
"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"
laughed my ass of at this!
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:
"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"
laughed my ass of at this!
What has two heads and six legs?
Nirvana.
Nirvana.
"Mummy, mummy, what happened to all your scabs?!"
"Shut up and eat your cornflakes"
_
"Mummy, mummy, what's a werewolf?"
"Shut up and comb your face"
_
"Mummy, mummy, can we have Grandma round for dinner again?"
"No son.. we've already dug her up twice this week"
"Shut up and eat your cornflakes"
_
"Mummy, mummy, what's a werewolf?"
"Shut up and comb your face"
_
"Mummy, mummy, can we have Grandma round for dinner again?"
"No son.. we've already dug her up twice this week"
Why does Snoop Dogg always carry an umbrella?
..
...
.....
Fo' drizzle!
..
...
.....
Fo' drizzle!
Two muffins are in an oven..
One Muffin says: "My, isn't it hot in here!"
The other says: "OMG A TALKING MUFFIN!!"
One Muffin says: "My, isn't it hot in here!"
The other says: "OMG A TALKING MUFFIN!!"
Butch edit: I think not somehow
Olympic version:
Man walks in to a parallel bar.
Instant disqualification.
One of my favourite poems:
An accident happened to my brother Jim.
Somebody threw a tomato at him.
Now tomatoes are juicy and don't hurt the skin,
but this one was specially packed in a tin.
Man walks in to a parallel bar.
Instant disqualification.
One of my favourite poems:
An accident happened to my brother Jim.
Somebody threw a tomato at him.
Now tomatoes are juicy and don't hurt the skin,
but this one was specially packed in a tin.
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