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Howdy there. There are those moments in games where it can’t get any better – where it really makes you appreciate the endless money you’ve no doubt poured into this hobby. However, there is an ubiquitous, darker side to the industry we love so much. This list is about game-related screw ups, ranging from developers disappointing loyal fans, to releasing awful spin-offs, and of course, the horrible fanboys.
Soul Calibur 3 Data Corruption
Soul Calibur 3 is by no means a bad game, although it does require quite a reasonable amount of memory card space. It had a wealth of playable characters, a shed-load of things to buy and unlock, creatable characters etc. Lovely. So why is this here, you ask? Well, how do I put this gently…
BECAUSE SATAN HAS INFECTED HIS GAME WITH A HORRIBLE CURSE, IF THE DATA IS COPIED OR MOVED TO ANOTHER MEMORY CARD IT WILL TARGET AND CORRUPT NOT ONLY IT'S OWN DATA BUT DATA FROM OTHER GAMES.
To some people that may not be a problem, but all my hard work and efforts on my other games aren’t worth being destroyed. My friend lost some very valuable data because of this 'curse'. Am I going to allow this game to ruin my memory card? No sir. I consider this a major gaffe on the part of the developers. They’d better sort this out for SC4.
The Long Delays For PAL Games
I'm sure this has affected everybody at some point - especially RPG fans. I am personally sick and tired of waiting an extra six months for the PAL version of a game to get released, and sometimes great games (usually RPGs) aren't even released in this country. Here is a few that never made it over to our shores:
Chrono Trigger, Chrono Cross, Valkyrie Profile, Xenosaga 1, Grandia 3 and Tales of Legendia.
And as for delaying games, I think Kingdom Hearts 2 is the best example. It's been out in the USA for about 5 months now, and we still have to wait another month here!
Those One Chance Opportunities
I'm referring to certain parts of games when you get one chance to do something and if you miss that window, you can never do it ever again. The best example of this is in Metroid Prime. If you forget to scan an enemy (usually a boss), then you'll never get the chance of scanning it again and can say “bye bye” to your chance of ever getting a 100% scanbook. You'll have to start the entire game again just to make sure you scan every enemy before you kill it.
Other games that have these golden moments are Silent Hill. Miss an item and you'll never be able to get it again. Forget to speak with a character? There goes your chance of a good ending. Pokemon? You defeat the legendary Pokemon and it will never ever appear again.
Fanboys
Not so much a screw up on the developers side, but fanboys can be really, really annoying and are classified as a by-product of the games. Overrated games are a side-effect of fanboys, and often they will spam their views over the internet, claiming it as their own. There are different variations of fanboy, the “n00bs” often being the worst type, with their pointless and stupid opinions.
We can have game fanboys and console fanboys. The console fanboys will swear by one company regardless of how stale their product may have become.
Your Average n00b Sony Fanboys View: “ni10do r 4 kidz tehy mk baby gamez l0zer"
I'm sure all of us have felt like slapping a fanboy we've run into on the net at some point.
Translation Errors
The most well known translation error ever has to be the legendary "ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US". Although most of them are hilarious, there is still no denying it is a major error on the part of the translators. I mean, when the game testers are testing the game, didn't they think to mention the error? Here are some classic examples:
Mario Sunshine - "SHINE GET!"
Megaman - "ZELLLLOOO!!! JUZDIE ZELLLOOO!!! THE BADDLE HAZ JUSD BEGUNN!”
Harvest Moon - "You are a courageous"
Final Fantasy 7 - "“Listen to me! Just now, some guy in a black cloak goes walked east towards that grassy field”
The Decline of Platforming Heroes
Look at Spyro the Dragon - he always stood proud of his status as one of the platforming heroes of the PS1. Well, dear boy, your last 3 or 4 games have been diabolical! You should just find a way to reflect that unoriginal fire breath of yours and save us all from the painful experience you offer these days. It's a great shame too, because Spyro 2 and 3 were great fun, and two of the best platforming games to ever grace a Sony console.
So who else? Well, Crash Bandicoot deserves a mention. He needs to pull his head out of his proverbial and stopping making those mediocre racing games (Crash Team Racing aside, of course), and start making some quality games like he did on the PS1. The same can be said of Donkey Kong. Enough with the drum games - WE WANT ANOTHER DONKEY KONG 64! I suppose Sonic deserves a mention, since his latest offerings have been a huge decline in quality.
Sadly, there hasn't even been a platforming hero since these guys. You might say Jak and Daxter or Ratchet and Clank, but I see them more as action adventure heroes. The world is lacking good platforming games these days.
Hideo Kojima Didn’t Wait For Me In Oxford Street
Hideo Kojima is the creator of the Metal Gear Solid and Zone of the Enders series. He is the writer, creator, director and even the designer in some cases. I've always wanted to meet the guy, and during the time MGS3 was released, the HMV in Oxford Street arranged for Hideo Kojima to speak with the fans and sign their copies of MGS3. Needless to say, I jumped at the first chance to do so. I got together my entire MGS collection and went down to Oxford Street. When I arrive, the place is expectedly packed. Massive lines are all around, but I was literally about 3 metres away from my personal hero - I could see the side of his head.
Then some poor excuse for a person goes on about “wristbands” and tells me they're not letting anybody else in the line because Kojima was only staying for an hour, and not even that - the git left 15 minutes early. What really annoyed me was that people in the line were saying stuff like "so who's this guy? i might sell the signed copy on ebay lol".
Pfft. I was very disappointed, I hung around for another hour in the hope he would re-emerge but also, he didn't. I was given a leftover (a torn poster) which now rests above my bed in reminder that Kojima had broken my heart.
Summary: Creators don't take enough time to meet fans.
Online Games That Don’t Actually Go Online
Golden rule - don't make a game online that doesn't actually go ONLINE. Resident Evil Outbreak is the best example. Seriously, hardly anyone has their PS2 online, and the developers fail to take that into account when designing online games for the PS2. Usually these “online” games are pretty forgettable, too - Resident Evil Outbreak, Syphon Filter Omega Strain etc. A waste of time and money. The only saving grace that comes to mind is the brilliant SOCOM series.
The Mooing Metal Gears of MGS4
MGS4 is not even out yet, but it's screwed up several times already. I won't mention the other screw ups because they're down to opinion, but you can't deny making Metal Gears “moo”, and make horse and cricket noises is ridiculous. This is coming from a huge MGS fan, but come on - cow robots aren't dramatic, and they're certainly not cool. Metal Gears are supposed to be badass. I mean, imagine carefully sneaking around the corner to break a guard’s neck, then you spin around and "MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO". You're chased by a robot with insane distressed cow noises.
Devil May Cry 2
That's right, I didn't make a mistake. Devil May Cry 2 doesn't contain one or two screw ups. The actual game it's self is a massive failure and just down-right painful to play. Maybe I'm just being a bit harsh, but I was massively disappointed with the sequel to one of the best action games on the PS2. That’s not a good enough reason for you? Well, just for the sake of the list, I'll throw in some screw ups from the game:
- Out of character Dante. What happened to our cheesy, badass Dante? In this game he's mute. You get the impression he's recovering from being raped or something.
- Awful side character - she's ugly, annoying, rubbish to play as and looks fat.
- Story. Fair enough, the DMC storyline isn't a masterpiece. In fact, it's pretty mediocre, but this didn't even have a story. Agrosax? Nah, thanks.
- Stupid French bad guy. Everybody hates the French.
- Gameplay dumbed down. All of those moves you could learn in the last game, and in this game there's about 4 moves to buy.
- Possibly the shortest game ever. However, you may see that as a good thing.
- God-awful enemy designs. Infested Tank? Infested Chopper? Come on – I used to come up with better ideas on the back of my school books.
- Bosses are a major let down. Some of them had real potential; however most of them are either far too easy or boring.
- No replay value. Three hours to complete the game and that's if you suck.
So where didn't the game screw up? Well, let's see. The disk makes a pretty decent Frisbee. Even then they break after one toss. AVOID.
So that’s it for now! If this is well-received I might write another, as there’s a plethora of other screw-ups one can write about. I’ve not even touched the surface, really.
Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed and were entertained by it!
Reefer.
Soul Calibur 3 Data Corruption
Soul Calibur 3 is by no means a bad game, although it does require quite a reasonable amount of memory card space. It had a wealth of playable characters, a shed-load of things to buy and unlock, creatable characters etc. Lovely. So why is this here, you ask? Well, how do I put this gently…
BECAUSE SATAN HAS INFECTED HIS GAME WITH A HORRIBLE CURSE, IF THE DATA IS COPIED OR MOVED TO ANOTHER MEMORY CARD IT WILL TARGET AND CORRUPT NOT ONLY IT'S OWN DATA BUT DATA FROM OTHER GAMES.
To some people that may not be a problem, but all my hard work and efforts on my other games aren’t worth being destroyed. My friend lost some very valuable data because of this 'curse'. Am I going to allow this game to ruin my memory card? No sir. I consider this a major gaffe on the part of the developers. They’d better sort this out for SC4.
The Long Delays For PAL Games
I'm sure this has affected everybody at some point - especially RPG fans. I am personally sick and tired of waiting an extra six months for the PAL version of a game to get released, and sometimes great games (usually RPGs) aren't even released in this country. Here is a few that never made it over to our shores:
Chrono Trigger, Chrono Cross, Valkyrie Profile, Xenosaga 1, Grandia 3 and Tales of Legendia.
And as for delaying games, I think Kingdom Hearts 2 is the best example. It's been out in the USA for about 5 months now, and we still have to wait another month here!
Those One Chance Opportunities
I'm referring to certain parts of games when you get one chance to do something and if you miss that window, you can never do it ever again. The best example of this is in Metroid Prime. If you forget to scan an enemy (usually a boss), then you'll never get the chance of scanning it again and can say “bye bye” to your chance of ever getting a 100% scanbook. You'll have to start the entire game again just to make sure you scan every enemy before you kill it.
Other games that have these golden moments are Silent Hill. Miss an item and you'll never be able to get it again. Forget to speak with a character? There goes your chance of a good ending. Pokemon? You defeat the legendary Pokemon and it will never ever appear again.
Fanboys
Not so much a screw up on the developers side, but fanboys can be really, really annoying and are classified as a by-product of the games. Overrated games are a side-effect of fanboys, and often they will spam their views over the internet, claiming it as their own. There are different variations of fanboy, the “n00bs” often being the worst type, with their pointless and stupid opinions.
We can have game fanboys and console fanboys. The console fanboys will swear by one company regardless of how stale their product may have become.
Your Average n00b Sony Fanboys View: “ni10do r 4 kidz tehy mk baby gamez l0zer"
I'm sure all of us have felt like slapping a fanboy we've run into on the net at some point.
Translation Errors
The most well known translation error ever has to be the legendary "ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US". Although most of them are hilarious, there is still no denying it is a major error on the part of the translators. I mean, when the game testers are testing the game, didn't they think to mention the error? Here are some classic examples:
Mario Sunshine - "SHINE GET!"
Megaman - "ZELLLLOOO!!! JUZDIE ZELLLOOO!!! THE BADDLE HAZ JUSD BEGUNN!”
Harvest Moon - "You are a courageous"
Final Fantasy 7 - "“Listen to me! Just now, some guy in a black cloak goes walked east towards that grassy field”
The Decline of Platforming Heroes
Look at Spyro the Dragon - he always stood proud of his status as one of the platforming heroes of the PS1. Well, dear boy, your last 3 or 4 games have been diabolical! You should just find a way to reflect that unoriginal fire breath of yours and save us all from the painful experience you offer these days. It's a great shame too, because Spyro 2 and 3 were great fun, and two of the best platforming games to ever grace a Sony console.
So who else? Well, Crash Bandicoot deserves a mention. He needs to pull his head out of his proverbial and stopping making those mediocre racing games (Crash Team Racing aside, of course), and start making some quality games like he did on the PS1. The same can be said of Donkey Kong. Enough with the drum games - WE WANT ANOTHER DONKEY KONG 64! I suppose Sonic deserves a mention, since his latest offerings have been a huge decline in quality.
Sadly, there hasn't even been a platforming hero since these guys. You might say Jak and Daxter or Ratchet and Clank, but I see them more as action adventure heroes. The world is lacking good platforming games these days.
Hideo Kojima Didn’t Wait For Me In Oxford Street
Hideo Kojima is the creator of the Metal Gear Solid and Zone of the Enders series. He is the writer, creator, director and even the designer in some cases. I've always wanted to meet the guy, and during the time MGS3 was released, the HMV in Oxford Street arranged for Hideo Kojima to speak with the fans and sign their copies of MGS3. Needless to say, I jumped at the first chance to do so. I got together my entire MGS collection and went down to Oxford Street. When I arrive, the place is expectedly packed. Massive lines are all around, but I was literally about 3 metres away from my personal hero - I could see the side of his head.
Then some poor excuse for a person goes on about “wristbands” and tells me they're not letting anybody else in the line because Kojima was only staying for an hour, and not even that - the git left 15 minutes early. What really annoyed me was that people in the line were saying stuff like "so who's this guy? i might sell the signed copy on ebay lol".
Pfft. I was very disappointed, I hung around for another hour in the hope he would re-emerge but also, he didn't. I was given a leftover (a torn poster) which now rests above my bed in reminder that Kojima had broken my heart.
Summary: Creators don't take enough time to meet fans.
Online Games That Don’t Actually Go Online
Golden rule - don't make a game online that doesn't actually go ONLINE. Resident Evil Outbreak is the best example. Seriously, hardly anyone has their PS2 online, and the developers fail to take that into account when designing online games for the PS2. Usually these “online” games are pretty forgettable, too - Resident Evil Outbreak, Syphon Filter Omega Strain etc. A waste of time and money. The only saving grace that comes to mind is the brilliant SOCOM series.
The Mooing Metal Gears of MGS4
MGS4 is not even out yet, but it's screwed up several times already. I won't mention the other screw ups because they're down to opinion, but you can't deny making Metal Gears “moo”, and make horse and cricket noises is ridiculous. This is coming from a huge MGS fan, but come on - cow robots aren't dramatic, and they're certainly not cool. Metal Gears are supposed to be badass. I mean, imagine carefully sneaking around the corner to break a guard’s neck, then you spin around and "MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO". You're chased by a robot with insane distressed cow noises.
Devil May Cry 2
That's right, I didn't make a mistake. Devil May Cry 2 doesn't contain one or two screw ups. The actual game it's self is a massive failure and just down-right painful to play. Maybe I'm just being a bit harsh, but I was massively disappointed with the sequel to one of the best action games on the PS2. That’s not a good enough reason for you? Well, just for the sake of the list, I'll throw in some screw ups from the game:
- Out of character Dante. What happened to our cheesy, badass Dante? In this game he's mute. You get the impression he's recovering from being raped or something.
- Awful side character - she's ugly, annoying, rubbish to play as and looks fat.
- Story. Fair enough, the DMC storyline isn't a masterpiece. In fact, it's pretty mediocre, but this didn't even have a story. Agrosax? Nah, thanks.
- Stupid French bad guy. Everybody hates the French.
- Gameplay dumbed down. All of those moves you could learn in the last game, and in this game there's about 4 moves to buy.
- Possibly the shortest game ever. However, you may see that as a good thing.
- God-awful enemy designs. Infested Tank? Infested Chopper? Come on – I used to come up with better ideas on the back of my school books.
- Bosses are a major let down. Some of them had real potential; however most of them are either far too easy or boring.
- No replay value. Three hours to complete the game and that's if you suck.
So where didn't the game screw up? Well, let's see. The disk makes a pretty decent Frisbee. Even then they break after one toss. AVOID.
So that’s it for now! If this is well-received I might write another, as there’s a plethora of other screw-ups one can write about. I’ve not even touched the surface, really.
Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed and were entertained by it!
Reefer.
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I think I was only person that curse didn't hit.
Fine, so I'm on my 4th PS2 now...
Fine, so I'm on my 4th PS2 now...
Reefer wrote:
> Well, I can understand some office jockey not expecting a horde
> of fans, but people like Shigeru Miyamoto and Hideo Kojima must
> surely expect it?
Maybe they should expect it now, but when they first went into gaming I doubt they ever envisioned becoming 'stars' and people recognising them or wanting autographs or anything like that... Whereas with certain other professions it comes with the territory.
> Well, I can understand some office jockey not expecting a horde
> of fans, but people like Shigeru Miyamoto and Hideo Kojima must
> surely expect it?
Maybe they should expect it now, but when they first went into gaming I doubt they ever envisioned becoming 'stars' and people recognising them or wanting autographs or anything like that... Whereas with certain other professions it comes with the territory.
Chr1s wrote:
> Unbelieveable learning curves. Driv3r is a good example for
> this. The second to last mission was just about impossible to
> complete, despite the one before it being average and the one
> after it being average. Star Wars Rogue Leader suffered from the
> same problem.
eh? I didn't think any levels in Rogue Leader were anywhere near 'impossible'... Certainly it was very tough getting gold medals for all the levels, but I don't think any of the levels were *that* tough after a bit of practice. I'm sure the game was a hell of a lot easier than the original Rogue Squadron on the N64...
> Unbelieveable learning curves. Driv3r is a good example for
> this. The second to last mission was just about impossible to
> complete, despite the one before it being average and the one
> after it being average. Star Wars Rogue Leader suffered from the
> same problem.
eh? I didn't think any levels in Rogue Leader were anywhere near 'impossible'... Certainly it was very tough getting gold medals for all the levels, but I don't think any of the levels were *that* tough after a bit of practice. I'm sure the game was a hell of a lot easier than the original Rogue Squadron on the N64...
Chr1s wrote:
> The Gamecube. As much as I love the thing, it just didn't have
> enough decent games for it.
Mine would be not enough people buying a Gamecube to encourage 3rd Party development.
{and to me the Gamecube had more decent games in its lifetime than the PS2 did - It's a personal choice thing)
> The Gamecube. As much as I love the thing, it just didn't have
> enough decent games for it.
Mine would be not enough people buying a Gamecube to encourage 3rd Party development.
{and to me the Gamecube had more decent games in its lifetime than the PS2 did - It's a personal choice thing)
Just off the top of my head I think that there should be more arcade conversions to consoles nowadays as there doesn't seem to be nearly as many as there used to be.
Maybe it's because I'm older but say a decade ago when I was in my mid teens you had the Streetfigher 2 series and the Mortal Kombat series to name 2 in the arcades that I played to death and couldn't wait to come out on my SNES.
Nowadays when I go into arcades (which granted isn't very often) there doesn't seem to be many arcade games in there anymore and all you seem to get is teenage girls on these dance machines and blokes on horse racing simulations along with old classics like Daytona USA.
Maybe if games came out in arcades first more interest would be generated certinally in the teenage market and sales of the game when it's released on consoles would go up.
I'm not talking games like the Final Fantasy series that take days to complete but games like beat em up's where you can have 5-10 minutes for a game on them.
Maybe it's because I'm older but say a decade ago when I was in my mid teens you had the Streetfigher 2 series and the Mortal Kombat series to name 2 in the arcades that I played to death and couldn't wait to come out on my SNES.
Nowadays when I go into arcades (which granted isn't very often) there doesn't seem to be many arcade games in there anymore and all you seem to get is teenage girls on these dance machines and blokes on horse racing simulations along with old classics like Daytona USA.
Maybe if games came out in arcades first more interest would be generated certinally in the teenage market and sales of the game when it's released on consoles would go up.
I'm not talking games like the Final Fantasy series that take days to complete but games like beat em up's where you can have 5-10 minutes for a game on them.
I think its partly the arcade owners fault. The places are often dark and depressing and the machines are never kept well.
You need advertising, some PR to bring arcades into the current generation and new machines.
That said, the main reason why new machines are not being seen is because no-one goes to arcades (due to them being out-dated, smelly places) and the arcades further decline due to lack of new or interesting machines. Catch 22.
What you need is a big retro arcade run by someone who loves games and advertised to death on TV. Have stuff to encourage people to come in, then get new stuff afterwards. Maybe make it like a museum to gaming, with information and plaques and have the arcade machines in date order, so you could play from oldest to newest...
You need advertising, some PR to bring arcades into the current generation and new machines.
That said, the main reason why new machines are not being seen is because no-one goes to arcades (due to them being out-dated, smelly places) and the arcades further decline due to lack of new or interesting machines. Catch 22.
What you need is a big retro arcade run by someone who loves games and advertised to death on TV. Have stuff to encourage people to come in, then get new stuff afterwards. Maybe make it like a museum to gaming, with information and plaques and have the arcade machines in date order, so you could play from oldest to newest...
pb wrote:
> That said, the main reason why new machines are not being seen
> is because no-one goes to arcades (due to them being out-dated,
> smelly places) and the arcades further decline due to lack of
> new or interesting machines. Catch 22.
That and they're fricking expensive, what is it 1 pound a go now? Fudge that
> That said, the main reason why new machines are not being seen
> is because no-one goes to arcades (due to them being out-dated,
> smelly places) and the arcades further decline due to lack of
> new or interesting machines. Catch 22.
That and they're fricking expensive, what is it 1 pound a go now? Fudge that
Chaos wrote:
> I think I was only person that curse didn't hit.
>
> Fine, so I'm on my 4th PS2 now...
Had 2 since launch day, my launch one gave in after about 4 years, not too shabby considering all the stories i've heard about it. Still poor though considering my Playstation still runs fine, even with 2 ball bearings lost off the little hub the disc sits on :D
> I think I was only person that curse didn't hit.
>
> Fine, so I'm on my 4th PS2 now...
Had 2 since launch day, my launch one gave in after about 4 years, not too shabby considering all the stories i've heard about it. Still poor though considering my Playstation still runs fine, even with 2 ball bearings lost off the little hub the disc sits on :D
When I go to Skegness there's an arcade there that has a load of old retro games in it like Track and Field, Shinobi, and Chase HQ that I have to go in every time I'm there to relive my youth.
I can spend hours in there and a big plus is they're all 10p a play!
If anyone goes go down the front to the clock tower, turn right as though you're going into town and its staight on your left :D
I can spend hours in there and a big plus is they're all 10p a play!
If anyone goes go down the front to the clock tower, turn right as though you're going into town and its staight on your left :D
In my day it only cost 20p a go, there were some really good games. £1 is just far too expensive. So there's no suprise why I see lots of machines on all the time with no one playing.
As a kid I always wanted to own some of my favourite arcades when I grew up and had a house with a games room :^)
I think I'd have a streetfighter 2, Golden Axe, Simpsons one (where Maggie is kidnapped), this cowboy one, oh and these other RPGs. God I spent so much money on them, probably would now, but as the years went by they started to disappear.
As a kid I always wanted to own some of my favourite arcades when I grew up and had a house with a games room :^)
I think I'd have a streetfighter 2, Golden Axe, Simpsons one (where Maggie is kidnapped), this cowboy one, oh and these other RPGs. God I spent so much money on them, probably would now, but as the years went by they started to disappear.
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