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Ever since primary school I have been bullied. Not physically, I've never been hit, kicked, or threatened by any high degree of violence. Just mental and verbal bullying. Some say it's the worst kind.
So what actually happened?
Well, I've always been considered as the sensible one. The person who seems mature for my age group. Also the one who used to be enthusiastic about learning in primary school. I was always first to put up my hand when the teacher asked a question, always one of the first to complete my work, always the one who'd be first to line up to go back to the classroom at the end of break times.
So ofcourse you can probably understand what came out of it. Lots of verbal diahorrea about being weak, teachers pet, and stuff like that. I don't really want to go into too much detail about what they said because: 1. I don't like mentioning them and 2. I've put a mental block on that kinda thing.
To be honest I don't see what's wrong with any of the above. The whole point in going to school is to learn. And what's the point in causing complications? Of course I didn't want the breaks to end, but I'd rather things ran smoothly than be kept behind for any reason.
Anyway, it's not just verbal bullying I've had to put up since I was 5, I've had to put up with exclusion. You know how when certain people get left out or picked for teams in sports last, no matter what their abilities are like? That can be quite hurtful, and believe me, I know after putting up with twelve years of it.
And again, it's not just exclusion from sports. No matter how much I've tried to fit in, I've only ever had a few friends I can actually call "good friends". I've always been in small groups of friends, those few that would put up with me. Most probably wouldn't stick up for me if I needed it, they'd just walk away if anything happened to me.
So why else is it that I'm left alone like this? Is it my polite manner? Is it because I'd rather be friends with people than enemies? Because I don't spit everywhere, smoke, drink, take drugs, and take part in illegal activities? Is it because I'm not interested in pop-bands or how Geri Halliwell looks now she's got her own yoga video? Is it because I'm a huge fan of videogaming? Gamers are still associated with computer nerds who stay up all night and day in a small dark room with their computer monitor being their only source of light, speaking to jackass592 on AOL whilst downloading pictures of obscene behaviour with a carrot and bubblebath.
Since I've moved to Cardiff, I've still had to put up with it. For the first few years of high school, I tried to fit in, and from day 1, people commented on my accent! Not in a friendly, having a laugh kinda way, but an annoying aggressive kind of way which again is hurtful!
During the last couple of years, I've managed to make friends with someone who has also had similar problems because of the way he looks. There's nothing wrong with him at all, and I can't see why people are so hurtful towards him. All that's different is he hasn't got any pigment in his hair or skin. So he's paler and has very light blonde hair. He can't help it, if he could've chosen differently he would have, but people just exclude him and call him stupid names involving Ice-cream because of it.
Infact, someone who I thought was a friend years ago now keeps saying "Why do you hang round with White Boy all the time, you should be hanging round with us." to which I reply "Shut up. I'd rather hang round with elmo from Sesame Street than hang round with someone who makes fun of my friends!"
You could say that it's dying down now. I still get the social exclusion because of my personality, and because of my choice of best friend. I have learnt to stick up for myself, but it isn't easy and no one should have to do it. It's not easy on me, my friend, or anyone else who has been bullied in such a way. It's easy to hit people, or to call them something back, but you don't achieve anything by it. They do it all the more because they know they'll get a reaction.
Most of the time, I've managed to hide my pain, my feelings of hurt and anger towards people. That's the kind of person I am. I control my emotions. And to be honest, this is the first time I've gone into this much detail about it to anyone.
Again, as I said about my illnesses, gaming has pulled me through it all. If I didn't have that much or a destraction, I probably would have lost my sense of individuality and have started lashing out on people in school for no reasons at all. Gaming allows me to take my frustration out on bunches of pixels which look like aliens and people, instead of doing it in real life.
So just remember, before you write, type or say anything to someone which could be interpreted in anyway to be insulting, hurtful, no matter how mild, it could effect someone in a way you don't even realise!
So what actually happened?
Well, I've always been considered as the sensible one. The person who seems mature for my age group. Also the one who used to be enthusiastic about learning in primary school. I was always first to put up my hand when the teacher asked a question, always one of the first to complete my work, always the one who'd be first to line up to go back to the classroom at the end of break times.
So ofcourse you can probably understand what came out of it. Lots of verbal diahorrea about being weak, teachers pet, and stuff like that. I don't really want to go into too much detail about what they said because: 1. I don't like mentioning them and 2. I've put a mental block on that kinda thing.
To be honest I don't see what's wrong with any of the above. The whole point in going to school is to learn. And what's the point in causing complications? Of course I didn't want the breaks to end, but I'd rather things ran smoothly than be kept behind for any reason.
Anyway, it's not just verbal bullying I've had to put up since I was 5, I've had to put up with exclusion. You know how when certain people get left out or picked for teams in sports last, no matter what their abilities are like? That can be quite hurtful, and believe me, I know after putting up with twelve years of it.
And again, it's not just exclusion from sports. No matter how much I've tried to fit in, I've only ever had a few friends I can actually call "good friends". I've always been in small groups of friends, those few that would put up with me. Most probably wouldn't stick up for me if I needed it, they'd just walk away if anything happened to me.
So why else is it that I'm left alone like this? Is it my polite manner? Is it because I'd rather be friends with people than enemies? Because I don't spit everywhere, smoke, drink, take drugs, and take part in illegal activities? Is it because I'm not interested in pop-bands or how Geri Halliwell looks now she's got her own yoga video? Is it because I'm a huge fan of videogaming? Gamers are still associated with computer nerds who stay up all night and day in a small dark room with their computer monitor being their only source of light, speaking to jackass592 on AOL whilst downloading pictures of obscene behaviour with a carrot and bubblebath.
Since I've moved to Cardiff, I've still had to put up with it. For the first few years of high school, I tried to fit in, and from day 1, people commented on my accent! Not in a friendly, having a laugh kinda way, but an annoying aggressive kind of way which again is hurtful!
During the last couple of years, I've managed to make friends with someone who has also had similar problems because of the way he looks. There's nothing wrong with him at all, and I can't see why people are so hurtful towards him. All that's different is he hasn't got any pigment in his hair or skin. So he's paler and has very light blonde hair. He can't help it, if he could've chosen differently he would have, but people just exclude him and call him stupid names involving Ice-cream because of it.
Infact, someone who I thought was a friend years ago now keeps saying "Why do you hang round with White Boy all the time, you should be hanging round with us." to which I reply "Shut up. I'd rather hang round with elmo from Sesame Street than hang round with someone who makes fun of my friends!"
You could say that it's dying down now. I still get the social exclusion because of my personality, and because of my choice of best friend. I have learnt to stick up for myself, but it isn't easy and no one should have to do it. It's not easy on me, my friend, or anyone else who has been bullied in such a way. It's easy to hit people, or to call them something back, but you don't achieve anything by it. They do it all the more because they know they'll get a reaction.
Most of the time, I've managed to hide my pain, my feelings of hurt and anger towards people. That's the kind of person I am. I control my emotions. And to be honest, this is the first time I've gone into this much detail about it to anyone.
Again, as I said about my illnesses, gaming has pulled me through it all. If I didn't have that much or a destraction, I probably would have lost my sense of individuality and have started lashing out on people in school for no reasons at all. Gaming allows me to take my frustration out on bunches of pixels which look like aliens and people, instead of doing it in real life.
So just remember, before you write, type or say anything to someone which could be interpreted in anyway to be insulting, hurtful, no matter how mild, it could effect someone in a way you don't even realise!
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I was bullied for quite some time in my primary,but I befrinded the bullies friends and she soon became my friend.Now we've lost touch but my truest friend who stayed right by my side when it all happened still talks to me even though we go to different schools.
I have troubles with people in my high school because they can't accept me for who I am.
But I'm happy.
I have troubles with people in my high school because they can't accept me for who I am.
But I'm happy.
They work for me though. Whenever I was bullying some kid at school I always found that violence worked best until they hit back. (In which case more violence was called for).
Hmmm... these "use violence and everything turns out right" stories are a bit common...
Never really got serious bullying, but I was the brunt of the *occasional* joke from my friends (such as they were..). I was always smaller than most people in my year, as I was a good year and a half younger than most of them. This meant I wasn't exactly percieved as 'hard', to put it mildly. I got the usual teasing from time to time about that.
That stopped after I slammed a desk into one guy's leg as I was being chased around the classroom. He went off crying. That was back in year 9, I think.
That got me a little respect, at least. And of course I caught up with them, heightwise, over the next few years too. So no more problems since then.
That stopped after I slammed a desk into one guy's leg as I was being chased around the classroom. He went off crying. That was back in year 9, I think.
That got me a little respect, at least. And of course I caught up with them, heightwise, over the next few years too. So no more problems since then.
lol...
Tis true, I will always be there for you when you need any support. That's what friends are for.
However, I'm not sure about Haggis, Gump (you know who I mean), Lewinsky, Alan Dondero, Prancer, Dan D. Ruff, and da boyz.
(Yep I know a strange lot of people)
Tis true, I will always be there for you when you need any support. That's what friends are for.
However, I'm not sure about Haggis, Gump (you know who I mean), Lewinsky, Alan Dondero, Prancer, Dan D. Ruff, and da boyz.
(Yep I know a strange lot of people)
Edwardgy?
But the one person who'll ALWAYS be my friend is a certain guy from Cardiff who's name begins with "E" and ends with "dgy".......
(Edgy said...........
I, luckily, haven't had to worry about my weight. For some reason, it doesn't matter how much I eat, I don't put on much weight and don't get noticably bigger.)
Don't I know it, mate!!! Next to Edgy, I look like I have eaten non-stop for the 17 odd years I've been around. Damn you, Edgy!!!
And this bit's to The Decoy.....
I can't believe that one of your friends would actually take sides with the bullies. I can't imagine how awful an experience that must be.
I myself, don't really have that many friends. Most of my "friends" at school are people who will talk to me if they're on their own or if it suits them.
I, luckily, haven't had to worry about my weight. For some reason, it doesn't matter how much I eat, I don't put on much weight and don't get noticably bigger.)
Don't I know it, mate!!! Next to Edgy, I look like I have eaten non-stop for the 17 odd years I've been around. Damn you, Edgy!!!
And this bit's to The Decoy.....
I can't believe that one of your friends would actually take sides with the bullies. I can't imagine how awful an experience that must be.
I myself, don't really have that many friends. Most of my "friends" at school are people who will talk to me if they're on their own or if it suits them.
I said before bullies are fools.
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