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"If movie directors made games"

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Fri 31/01/03 at 15:38
Regular
Posts: 787
Famous movie directors have been responsible for some fantastic movies that have brought me hours of pleasure, but what if some of these directors decided they wanted to have a go at the more interactive experience of gaming? What kind of games would they come up with?

Guy Ritchie:

A game featuring dozens of playable characters, all related by some crazy turn of events. All of these characters would be stereotypes and have daft names, and speak in a strange tongue, known as ‘Cockney’. It would be an action game, but somewhat lacking in action. This would be compensated for by extensive cut scenes that try to piece together a simple story turned overly complex.

Tim Burton:

A odd yet enjoyable game, that’s not to everyone’s taste, that’s what Tim Burton would make. Expect fascinating characters involved in an engrossing story. The lead character would probably be modelled on Johnny Depp.

Cameron Crowe:

He’d make a great game. The only problem with it would be that it would be a remake of a Japanese game that no one ever played in the US or Europe. Crowe would be all too happy to take all of the credit though. And he’d give it a worse name than the original.

Oliver Stone:

A very serious game. You’ll be the hero, trying to get to the bottom of the corruption within central government, but you’ll end up uncovering a conspiracy theory, explaining every unexplained murder in the history of time. Ever.

George Lucas:

He would make a fantastic game, perhaps the best game ever. He’d introduce great characters, he’d bring in special effects the like never before scene, he’d capture the hearts of young games around the world and shape a generation. Then years later he’d go back and make shoddy prequels.

David Fincher:

One thing would be certain about the world this game took place in, it would be raining. A game as dark as any before it, it would suck you in until it reached it’s shocking conclusion. Just don’t expect a happy ending.

Kevin Smith:

A thoroughly enjoyable game despite the fact that you actually don’t do anything. A range of colourful characters would be playable as you wander around your world, with the flimsiest of goals. Achieving these would be more by luck than judgement, making the game unpredictable and highly addictive.

John Woo:

The most biggest action game ever. A game to improve the action genre beyond believable realms of imrovement. You’d start off the game armed with a couple of automatic weapons, in a room full of villains. Shooting these would lead to yet more people to shoot. Then it would go a bit Duck Hunt when a white dove shows up before the big finale involving shooting more things. Expect to play the game from a bullet’s eye view half of the time too.

Steven Spielburg:

This game would be like, ‘Trouble in Happy Land’ or something. Find yourself in a world that isn’t quite right, and go about sorting it out. A fantastic journey of discovery would eventually lead to an overly sugary conclusion, in which nobody has to die. Jesus Christ, it could well be a Mario game!

M. Night Shyamalan:

A creepy and mysterious game, that isn’t all that it seems. At first you’ll be playing through quite happily, going through the motions of a game typical of it’s genre. You’ll become familiar with your character, and feel that you can empathise them. Until in the final section of the game it turns out that all you thought was real and true before in fact isn’t. It’s estimated that only 60% will bother to go on to finish the game after these revelations, and very few will ever go back to play it again.

Quinten Tarentino:

Perhaps the coolest game ever made. They’d sell the soundtrack to this game in all good record stores, it would turn non-gamers to gaming. It would quite possibly be a rip-off of a lesser known game, but what the Hell, when it’s this good. Expect plenty of action, mixed with amazing cut-scenes that move the game along, and a screwy time line to go with it. In fact, you’ll probably encounter the final boss of the game before you have any idea of how you got there, but don’t worry, playing through embedded backflashes would help you to work it all out.

David Lynch:

Perhaps the most confusing game of all time would be the result of this director’s game. You’d no doubt start the game as one character, curious about some event. An investigation would follow in which you’d see all kinds of strange characters in the background. Then the lights would dim, the buzz, and you’d be a different character. Perhaps you’d simply swap roles with somebody you’ve already come across in the game, or maybe you’d turn into someone completely different, in wholly different circumstances. After completing the game for the first time you’d be confused, and subsequent play through’s of the game would only add to this confusion.
Mon 10/02/03 at 22:08
Regular
"Ghost Mutt"
Posts: 1,326
M Night Shyamamamamamalan would make a rubbish game everyone loves (gta3 anyone?) because it tries to be different but really is nothing more than feeble religious propoganda. He would also attempt many a time to appear in the game vaugely disguised so he thinks he's as good as Hitchcock.

The Coen brothers would make a geniusly underrated game (Silicon Valley anyone?) which is a bit crazy and stars Steve Buscemi, John Goodman, John Turturro and various other people named John.

Martin Scorsese would make the best game ever and then continue to make the best games ever and then the magazines would all say he was rubbish for making a game they didn't like and he would never be officially recognised with a golden statue because of Rocky. Then he would get a lifetime achievement award.
Wed 05/02/03 at 18:56
Regular
"Fear my wrath..."
Posts: 2,044
I think you've hit the nail on the head there.
Wed 05/02/03 at 18:55
Regular
"not dead"
Posts: 11,145
Yay!

Thank you SR.

And Goatboy, I reckon those games fit the directors perfectly, nice one.

Oh, and Michael Bay and SFA, that's perfect too allardini! :o)
Wed 05/02/03 at 18:16
"period drama"
Posts: 19,792
Bah, smelly poo.
Steal my GAD why don't ya.
Grrr.








Life goes on.
Wed 05/02/03 at 18:06
Regular
"bit of a brain"
Posts: 18,933
Myst?
Seriously?
And Film.
Wed 05/02/03 at 17:59
Regular
"allardini's tagline"
Posts: 3,396
Michael Bay - Anything that costs a lot to make and get and takes ages to make and is cliched balls. Starfox Adventures, perhaps?
Wed 05/02/03 at 16:12
"Darkness, always"
Posts: 9,603
Tiltawhirl wrote:
> Only good Western film in my mind that he's made has been Face Off but
> even that compared to something like Hard Boiled or Bullet in the Head
> is rubbish.

That Van Damme one he did, Hard Target, was actually quite a good film...
Wed 05/02/03 at 16:08
"Darkness, always"
Posts: 9,603
MoJoJoJo wrote:
> Eastern action film, possibly Woo's best work.

I actually preferred A Better Tomorrow I & II.

And Last Hurrah for Chivalry > *
Wed 05/02/03 at 16:07
Regular
"That's right!"
Posts: 10,645
Bonafide wrote:
> Hard Boiled?

-------

Eastern action film, possibly Woo's best work. I saw it on Channel 4 ages ago, it was alright. The bullet sparks were super-composed on, so they look a little daft.
Wed 05/02/03 at 16:00
Regular
"Z will be here soon"
Posts: 7,562
This makes it 36 :-D

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