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Now, I remember the halcyon days of the 1990's when there was a fairly good indie-punk band called 3 colours red. They matured into a pretty damn good rock band on their second album and then split up. Recently the lead singer, one Pete Vuckovic, formed a new band and called it 'elevation'. Well, that got me thinking of ways the bands will beat the scourge of mp3's that are making them so impoverished. haha.
1. You name yourself after one of U2's most popular songs, that way anyone using audiogalaxy or napster will have to trawl through 1000's of matches of the U2 song to even have a hope of finding yours.
2. Pick a name for the band which is completely unsearchable for. 'The The' were true visionaries of their time and took the best band name for avoiding mp3 downloading. Any band name involving prepositions is a good start.
3. Goldie, the drum & bass legend, came up with another great tactic for avoiding mp3's. He released an album called Saturn Returnz which featured a 1 hour track called 'Mother'. That move was inspired as it prevented anyone from downloading the track without a lot of patience and a cable connection. Obviously this ploy would work best for pretentious dance music types rather than your average rock band and even less so for a punk band.
4. This one's just for Feeder fans out there. You could write music like that found on Echo park. You see no one would want to download it... hahahaaaaa. I'm only joking. Substitute Feeder for any random pop band, and Echo Park for the album of the aforementioned random pop band.
5. Possibly the best way to avoid mp3s is also the most ingenius. The band could call themselves "mp3". On top of this they could call all their songs mp31 to mp312. This way no one would ever be able to find their stuff.
6. Evidently the most practical way is to ignore people who are searching for songs and just sue the living hell out of anything even slightly resembling Napster. With the lawyers and the money on the record company's side they would win every single time.
1. You name yourself after one of U2's most popular songs, that way anyone using audiogalaxy or napster will have to trawl through 1000's of matches of the U2 song to even have a hope of finding yours.
2. Pick a name for the band which is completely unsearchable for. 'The The' were true visionaries of their time and took the best band name for avoiding mp3 downloading. Any band name involving prepositions is a good start.
3. Goldie, the drum & bass legend, came up with another great tactic for avoiding mp3's. He released an album called Saturn Returnz which featured a 1 hour track called 'Mother'. That move was inspired as it prevented anyone from downloading the track without a lot of patience and a cable connection. Obviously this ploy would work best for pretentious dance music types rather than your average rock band and even less so for a punk band.
4. This one's just for Feeder fans out there. You could write music like that found on Echo park. You see no one would want to download it... hahahaaaaa. I'm only joking. Substitute Feeder for any random pop band, and Echo Park for the album of the aforementioned random pop band.
5. Possibly the best way to avoid mp3s is also the most ingenius. The band could call themselves "mp3". On top of this they could call all their songs mp31 to mp312. This way no one would ever be able to find their stuff.
6. Evidently the most practical way is to ignore people who are searching for songs and just sue the living hell out of anything even slightly resembling Napster. With the lawyers and the money on the record company's side they would win every single time.
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I don't see what the big fuss is with MP3.
Whenever I've downloaded them, it's been for rare and deleted tracks by artists that I buy anyway.
I did download the new Clutch stuff when that was on Napster, but that was because I really wanted to hear it.
I still bought the album when it came out, I want bands that I like to continue (especially the smaller bands I like) and wouldn't want to rip them off.
The record industry reported sales increased with the popularity of Napster.
Why?
Well, the main theory is that people are unsure of a new band or have heard of a band from a mate etc and don't want to spend £17 on a CD, on the off-chance it may be alright.
So, why not download a couple of tracks to check them out?
And from the other side of the fence, as a musician I actively encourage people to download music from The Internet.
It's the strangest thing, bands that don't earn a decent living are the ones that are happy with people downloading their music - it's the bands that live high on the hill that frown and discourage.
Why? You get paid anyway, so stop complaining.
You get the advances, royalties from publishing, performing and recording so just cash your check and stop being so holy.
I've done CDs of my band for people with no thought of charging, and our tracks can be downloaded. It never enters my head that people should pay to hear us, that's not why I do it.
I do it because I love making music and want people to listen, anything else in a bonus.
So when I hear bands like The Manics (pro-people ironically) complain they're being ripped off?
Suddenly they appear to me in suits with big cigars.
I've lost all respect for Metallica since Lars started his legal action against Napster.
This was a band that was honest, about the music and represented Joe Normal.
And now they're bloated corporate tics.
Not me, I've said it whilst I make exactly £0 from my band.
Music on The Net should be free, it's an artform.
If a CD is available, great. Buy that, you get the artwork and it's supporting a band you like.
But I wouldn't lose sleep if I thought my music was getting to new people that otherwise wouldn't hear me.
MP3 is not the death of CD sales, it's being able to get music to people that might never be into a band otherwise.
Whenever I've downloaded them, it's been for rare and deleted tracks by artists that I buy anyway.
I did download the new Clutch stuff when that was on Napster, but that was because I really wanted to hear it.
I still bought the album when it came out, I want bands that I like to continue (especially the smaller bands I like) and wouldn't want to rip them off.
The record industry reported sales increased with the popularity of Napster.
Why?
Well, the main theory is that people are unsure of a new band or have heard of a band from a mate etc and don't want to spend £17 on a CD, on the off-chance it may be alright.
So, why not download a couple of tracks to check them out?
And from the other side of the fence, as a musician I actively encourage people to download music from The Internet.
It's the strangest thing, bands that don't earn a decent living are the ones that are happy with people downloading their music - it's the bands that live high on the hill that frown and discourage.
Why? You get paid anyway, so stop complaining.
You get the advances, royalties from publishing, performing and recording so just cash your check and stop being so holy.
I've done CDs of my band for people with no thought of charging, and our tracks can be downloaded. It never enters my head that people should pay to hear us, that's not why I do it.
I do it because I love making music and want people to listen, anything else in a bonus.
So when I hear bands like The Manics (pro-people ironically) complain they're being ripped off?
Suddenly they appear to me in suits with big cigars.
I've lost all respect for Metallica since Lars started his legal action against Napster.
This was a band that was honest, about the music and represented Joe Normal.
And now they're bloated corporate tics.
Not me, I've said it whilst I make exactly £0 from my band.
Music on The Net should be free, it's an artform.
If a CD is available, great. Buy that, you get the artwork and it's supporting a band you like.
But I wouldn't lose sleep if I thought my music was getting to new people that otherwise wouldn't hear me.
MP3 is not the death of CD sales, it's being able to get music to people that might never be into a band otherwise.
Serious discussion on measures to prevent mp3s now welcomed. It's not that I want to prevent. It's just that if we know what they might try it gives us time to prepare.. so the evil conglomerates that make up the record companies and Lars Ulrich won't get their way by stopping all file transfers.
I'm not going to sue bearshare. Instead I have come up with a plan. There are two very simple stages:
1. I launch a range of metallica-approved file sharing programs:
Metalliwire
Larster
Ulrichtella
Audiolars
2. I watch as the world downloads them. When the program shares your files it automatically takes you to the Metallica merchandise site where you must buy one item for every mp3 on your computer. If you don't then your computer is completely unusable and not even turning off the power will prevent the program from making me, I mean us, millions. Oh and it also sets desktop wallpaper to a permanent picture of my smiling pudgy face.
This is of course highly illegal but it serves you all right for stealing my music.
On the Oasis point, they were making fun of me. The bullies. Liam crouched behind me and then Noel ran towards me, I stepped back and fell over Liam on to a convenoinetly placed danish cake stand. Luckily I was only wearing skimpy shorts at the time so I didn't damage my Armani suit. I foolishly told those nasty gallaghers this, in a jokey, friendly way, and they found my suit and put it in the punch bowl... I had to cry myself to sleep.
I'm sorry for drumming in the woods but the rhythmn is in my soul. bada bum bum bum tka tka tka *crash*. The only problem is it is always in my mind. It won't come out and play itself on the drums. Drives me mad. mad I tell you.
Why does no one like me?
Someone be my friend
please
1. I launch a range of metallica-approved file sharing programs:
Metalliwire
Larster
Ulrichtella
Audiolars
2. I watch as the world downloads them. When the program shares your files it automatically takes you to the Metallica merchandise site where you must buy one item for every mp3 on your computer. If you don't then your computer is completely unusable and not even turning off the power will prevent the program from making me, I mean us, millions. Oh and it also sets desktop wallpaper to a permanent picture of my smiling pudgy face.
This is of course highly illegal but it serves you all right for stealing my music.
On the Oasis point, they were making fun of me. The bullies. Liam crouched behind me and then Noel ran towards me, I stepped back and fell over Liam on to a convenoinetly placed danish cake stand. Luckily I was only wearing skimpy shorts at the time so I didn't damage my Armani suit. I foolishly told those nasty gallaghers this, in a jokey, friendly way, and they found my suit and put it in the punch bowl... I had to cry myself to sleep.
I'm sorry for drumming in the woods but the rhythmn is in my soul. bada bum bum bum tka tka tka *crash*. The only problem is it is always in my mind. It won't come out and play itself on the drums. Drives me mad. mad I tell you.
Why does no one like me?
Someone be my friend
please
Well that's ok then Ulrich.
Just remember who the General is in The Metal Militia.
Hell I do like you sometimes, but you just have to open your big Danish mouth and say something stupid.
You wanted to play on-stage in little shorts, I let you.
You wanted to be in the videos, I let you.
You wanted to hang around with those apes from Oasis, I let you.
But the last time I let you come hunting with me and you ran about thumping logs with drumsticks and scared the deer away?
Me and Ted Nugent baby, we gonna hunt you down like the porky girly-boy you are.
Now go and sue Bearshare, I don't have enough money for belt-buckles
Cheers
Hetfield
Just remember who the General is in The Metal Militia.
Hell I do like you sometimes, but you just have to open your big Danish mouth and say something stupid.
You wanted to play on-stage in little shorts, I let you.
You wanted to be in the videos, I let you.
You wanted to hang around with those apes from Oasis, I let you.
But the last time I let you come hunting with me and you ran about thumping logs with drumsticks and scared the deer away?
Me and Ted Nugent baby, we gonna hunt you down like the porky girly-boy you are.
Now go and sue Bearshare, I don't have enough money for belt-buckles
Cheers
Hetfield
By the way, James wrote unforgiven after Newstead swapped ourdrinks around when we weren't looking. I think James must have put a particularly strong shot in that one...
I'm sorry Jame.. I mean sir. It won't happen again sir. But surely you can see that all my talk is only making you look better, your greatness.
When you run for president you will be supremely powerful as I am Danish and so i cannot be a part of your great country's executive branch. I will join the halls of the great who wanted to be President but couldn't be: that is me and Arnie. Arnie would have been a great choice you know, the second Saddam threatened the USA Arnie could be dropped into Baghdad where he would implausibly wipe out millions of inexplicably inaccurate soldiers and save the country. Sorry I am a deviant.. oops Freudian Slip, I meant to say I am deviating.
I will keep talking James, but it's for the best. You will come out this with a shining reputation. If anyone has any questions then you can field them to me in this forum. It's not like I have anything else to do, I mean I gave up practising the drums when I realised how futile it was waiting for my second ever drum solo. Since my accident they haven't even let me into the studio in case I play the drums again.
I did once record a solo album where I played all the instruments, badly. But when I gave my master tape to James to mix for me, you see he has a mixing studio at home, he dropped it on the floor and stamped on it in front of me. Then he sent me to bed without any tea.
When you run for president you will be supremely powerful as I am Danish and so i cannot be a part of your great country's executive branch. I will join the halls of the great who wanted to be President but couldn't be: that is me and Arnie. Arnie would have been a great choice you know, the second Saddam threatened the USA Arnie could be dropped into Baghdad where he would implausibly wipe out millions of inexplicably inaccurate soldiers and save the country. Sorry I am a deviant.. oops Freudian Slip, I meant to say I am deviating.
I will keep talking James, but it's for the best. You will come out this with a shining reputation. If anyone has any questions then you can field them to me in this forum. It's not like I have anything else to do, I mean I gave up practising the drums when I realised how futile it was waiting for my second ever drum solo. Since my accident they haven't even let me into the studio in case I play the drums again.
I did once record a solo album where I played all the instruments, badly. But when I gave my master tape to James to mix for me, you see he has a mixing studio at home, he dropped it on the floor and stamped on it in front of me. Then he sent me to bed without any tea.
Email from James Hetfield to Lars:
Listen punk, stop talking and get back here to scratch my beard some more.
I told you when we started, don't speak, don't do anything but sit behind me and gurn for the cameras.
I knew we used to say "Death to false metal" and stuff, but that ended the day I discovered the word "baby" and "love" that I could use in songs.
And don't think for one minute I'm believing that the pyro that burnt me was anything other than your pudgy attempts at dethroning me as king of rock.
I will menace you with my redneck beard and mullet and make you wear more make-up for our CD photoshoots.
Now shut your yap and fetch me another beer.
Listen punk, stop talking and get back here to scratch my beard some more.
I told you when we started, don't speak, don't do anything but sit behind me and gurn for the cameras.
I knew we used to say "Death to false metal" and stuff, but that ended the day I discovered the word "baby" and "love" that I could use in songs.
And don't think for one minute I'm believing that the pyro that burnt me was anything other than your pudgy attempts at dethroning me as king of rock.
I will menace you with my redneck beard and mullet and make you wear more make-up for our CD photoshoots.
Now shut your yap and fetch me another beer.
My pudgy danish face is not the worst of it. Ever seen fight club? Well one day I will look like Meatloaf's character, unless I stand up to James and say 'No! I won't drink your oestrogen-laced cocktails!'. But I can't because his sideburns intimidate me.
I know I have become a clownish hate figure for millions around the world, what with my baby-faced danishness, my whinging and my Napster-banning. But I have billions in the bank and you don't. So there. HAHA! Not only that but I can't even play the drums. The last time I featured on a metallica album was when I tripped over a wire and accidently split my head open on the cymbol in time to Kirk's solo. It was painful but it was worth it. I have one £500,000 hi-fi at home which plays my drum solo constantly on loop. t's magical I tell you.
In terms of live drumming I accidently knocked the snare drum over once which really annoyed James because it disrupted his strutting around the stage. He spanked me later, which was about the time I began to regret my choice of skimpy clothing to play in. As for Newstead I made James chuck him out the band because he thought it was funny to tune his bass to the same resonant frequency of many of my possessions. He even blew up my favourite goldfish once! It all went wrong for him when my cat happened to have the same resonant frequency as James' sideburns. He was not happy let me tell you. That's the inside story on Newstead.
At the end of the day though, I am richer than you and I have no recognisable talents or qualities. So whose done better for themself? Me or you? Yes that's right, me Lars Ulrich. I am the living embodiment of the American Dream. I wanted to call it the Danish Dream but that's the trademark of a yummy danish pastry and they threatened to sue me and made me cry.
Lars Ulrich Esquire
I know I have become a clownish hate figure for millions around the world, what with my baby-faced danishness, my whinging and my Napster-banning. But I have billions in the bank and you don't. So there. HAHA! Not only that but I can't even play the drums. The last time I featured on a metallica album was when I tripped over a wire and accidently split my head open on the cymbol in time to Kirk's solo. It was painful but it was worth it. I have one £500,000 hi-fi at home which plays my drum solo constantly on loop. t's magical I tell you.
In terms of live drumming I accidently knocked the snare drum over once which really annoyed James because it disrupted his strutting around the stage. He spanked me later, which was about the time I began to regret my choice of skimpy clothing to play in. As for Newstead I made James chuck him out the band because he thought it was funny to tune his bass to the same resonant frequency of many of my possessions. He even blew up my favourite goldfish once! It all went wrong for him when my cat happened to have the same resonant frequency as James' sideburns. He was not happy let me tell you. That's the inside story on Newstead.
At the end of the day though, I am richer than you and I have no recognisable talents or qualities. So whose done better for themself? Me or you? Yes that's right, me Lars Ulrich. I am the living embodiment of the American Dream. I wanted to call it the Danish Dream but that's the trademark of a yummy danish pastry and they threatened to sue me and made me cry.
Lars Ulrich Esquire
LOL! You brought a smile to my face - cheers, guys.
I am sorry I laughed at your estrogen-soaked pudgy Danish head.
I feel ashamed and will force myself to listen to S&M 3 times in a row and compare the drumming live to the studio tracks.
It does take great skill to play them with your face, and I feel bad now.
Please forgive me
Def Leppard one-armed drummer
I feel ashamed and will force myself to listen to S&M 3 times in a row and compare the drumming live to the studio tracks.
It does take great skill to play them with your face, and I feel bad now.
Please forgive me
Def Leppard one-armed drummer
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