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Now, I remember the halcyon days of the 1990's when there was a fairly good indie-punk band called 3 colours red. They matured into a pretty damn good rock band on their second album and then split up. Recently the lead singer, one Pete Vuckovic, formed a new band and called it 'elevation'. Well, that got me thinking of ways the bands will beat the scourge of mp3's that are making them so impoverished. haha.
1. You name yourself after one of U2's most popular songs, that way anyone using audiogalaxy or napster will have to trawl through 1000's of matches of the U2 song to even have a hope of finding yours.
2. Pick a name for the band which is completely unsearchable for. 'The The' were true visionaries of their time and took the best band name for avoiding mp3 downloading. Any band name involving prepositions is a good start.
3. Goldie, the drum & bass legend, came up with another great tactic for avoiding mp3's. He released an album called Saturn Returnz which featured a 1 hour track called 'Mother'. That move was inspired as it prevented anyone from downloading the track without a lot of patience and a cable connection. Obviously this ploy would work best for pretentious dance music types rather than your average rock band and even less so for a punk band.
4. This one's just for Feeder fans out there. You could write music like that found on Echo park. You see no one would want to download it... hahahaaaaa. I'm only joking. Substitute Feeder for any random pop band, and Echo Park for the album of the aforementioned random pop band.
5. Possibly the best way to avoid mp3s is also the most ingenius. The band could call themselves "mp3". On top of this they could call all their songs mp31 to mp312. This way no one would ever be able to find their stuff.
6. Evidently the most practical way is to ignore people who are searching for songs and just sue the living hell out of anything even slightly resembling Napster. With the lawyers and the money on the record company's side they would win every single time.
1. You name yourself after one of U2's most popular songs, that way anyone using audiogalaxy or napster will have to trawl through 1000's of matches of the U2 song to even have a hope of finding yours.
2. Pick a name for the band which is completely unsearchable for. 'The The' were true visionaries of their time and took the best band name for avoiding mp3 downloading. Any band name involving prepositions is a good start.
3. Goldie, the drum & bass legend, came up with another great tactic for avoiding mp3's. He released an album called Saturn Returnz which featured a 1 hour track called 'Mother'. That move was inspired as it prevented anyone from downloading the track without a lot of patience and a cable connection. Obviously this ploy would work best for pretentious dance music types rather than your average rock band and even less so for a punk band.
4. This one's just for Feeder fans out there. You could write music like that found on Echo park. You see no one would want to download it... hahahaaaaa. I'm only joking. Substitute Feeder for any random pop band, and Echo Park for the album of the aforementioned random pop band.
5. Possibly the best way to avoid mp3s is also the most ingenius. The band could call themselves "mp3". On top of this they could call all their songs mp31 to mp312. This way no one would ever be able to find their stuff.
6. Evidently the most practical way is to ignore people who are searching for songs and just sue the living hell out of anything even slightly resembling Napster. With the lawyers and the money on the record company's side they would win every single time.
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Now, I remember the halcyon days of the 1990's when there was a fairly good indie-punk band called 3 colours red. They matured into a pretty damn good rock band on their second album and then split up. Recently the lead singer, one Pete Vuckovic, formed a new band and called it 'elevation'. Well, that got me thinking of ways the bands will beat the scourge of mp3's that are making them so impoverished. haha.
1. You name yourself after one of U2's most popular songs, that way anyone using audiogalaxy or napster will have to trawl through 1000's of matches of the U2 song to even have a hope of finding yours.
2. Pick a name for the band which is completely unsearchable for. 'The The' were true visionaries of their time and took the best band name for avoiding mp3 downloading. Any band name involving prepositions is a good start.
3. Goldie, the drum & bass legend, came up with another great tactic for avoiding mp3's. He released an album called Saturn Returnz which featured a 1 hour track called 'Mother'. That move was inspired as it prevented anyone from downloading the track without a lot of patience and a cable connection. Obviously this ploy would work best for pretentious dance music types rather than your average rock band and even less so for a punk band.
4. This one's just for Feeder fans out there. You could write music like that found on Echo park. You see no one would want to download it... hahahaaaaa. I'm only joking. Substitute Feeder for any random pop band, and Echo Park for the album of the aforementioned random pop band.
5. Possibly the best way to avoid mp3s is also the most ingenius. The band could call themselves "mp3". On top of this they could call all their songs mp31 to mp312. This way no one would ever be able to find their stuff.
6. Evidently the most practical way is to ignore people who are searching for songs and just sue the living hell out of anything even slightly resembling Napster. With the lawyers and the money on the record company's side they would win every single time.
1. You name yourself after one of U2's most popular songs, that way anyone using audiogalaxy or napster will have to trawl through 1000's of matches of the U2 song to even have a hope of finding yours.
2. Pick a name for the band which is completely unsearchable for. 'The The' were true visionaries of their time and took the best band name for avoiding mp3 downloading. Any band name involving prepositions is a good start.
3. Goldie, the drum & bass legend, came up with another great tactic for avoiding mp3's. He released an album called Saturn Returnz which featured a 1 hour track called 'Mother'. That move was inspired as it prevented anyone from downloading the track without a lot of patience and a cable connection. Obviously this ploy would work best for pretentious dance music types rather than your average rock band and even less so for a punk band.
4. This one's just for Feeder fans out there. You could write music like that found on Echo park. You see no one would want to download it... hahahaaaaa. I'm only joking. Substitute Feeder for any random pop band, and Echo Park for the album of the aforementioned random pop band.
5. Possibly the best way to avoid mp3s is also the most ingenius. The band could call themselves "mp3". On top of this they could call all their songs mp31 to mp312. This way no one would ever be able to find their stuff.
6. Evidently the most practical way is to ignore people who are searching for songs and just sue the living hell out of anything even slightly resembling Napster. With the lawyers and the money on the record company's side they would win every single time.
I bet your name is Lars Ulrich isn't it?
Shut up about Napster and get back to playing the drums badly, you gurning Danish-man you.
Shut up about Napster and get back to playing the drums badly, you gurning Danish-man you.
Okay I admit it. I am Lars Ulrich. I only came up with these ideas after looking back on the Napster debacle. It was with great sorrow in my heart that I saw napster die slowly and painfully. I look forward to seeing Audiogalaxy in court and I'm currently sitting in a bath of money which is why I'm so damn happy. But mp3s are bad you here me. All of you are no better than shoplifters you know!! look you've gone and made me cry! I'm going to be poor. I'll lose it all. It's not my fault S & M was a pile of pretentious rubbish.
I knew I should have been a tennis player.
I knew I should have been a tennis player.
That's as may be, Lars, but why do you climb over your toms so much?
Because you can't keep a simple beat, that's why.
"Any fan of mine that wont pay for the album is not a fan I want" Lars Ulrich 1999
"We used to drive around with a cassette Cliff had made, I used to copy all his 45s. Man, he had some rare stuff"
Lars Ulrich 1989
Bloaty Corporate Dinosaur.
Stop wearing nothing but shorts and learn to play, you tubby Danish Muppet
Because you can't keep a simple beat, that's why.
"Any fan of mine that wont pay for the album is not a fan I want" Lars Ulrich 1999
"We used to drive around with a cassette Cliff had made, I used to copy all his 45s. Man, he had some rare stuff"
Lars Ulrich 1989
Bloaty Corporate Dinosaur.
Stop wearing nothing but shorts and learn to play, you tubby Danish Muppet
I only wear skimpy shorts because James Hetfield makes me. Apparently my puny physique and lack of drumming ability and constant whinig only serve to make him look better. There's no secret, no master criminal behind it all, that's it.
Also I would like to point out you are quoting me completely out of context. The real quote I gave in the interview was:
"Any fan of mine that wont pay for the album is not a fan I want to upset. I love them all you see."
Finally I have one last confession.
It isn't really me playing the drums live. It's a DAT tape they rcorded of James' baby son trying to tap along to Metallica studio recordings. The DAT leaves me free to run around and jump all over my drums without the ignominy of actually playing them. You may ask why I am needed in the band. Well my role is essential to making James look good. That's it. They couldn't find anyone else who looked quite as stupid as me or who managed to be so widely hated by so many. I am essential.
Lars
Also I would like to point out you are quoting me completely out of context. The real quote I gave in the interview was:
"Any fan of mine that wont pay for the album is not a fan I want to upset. I love them all you see."
Finally I have one last confession.
It isn't really me playing the drums live. It's a DAT tape they rcorded of James' baby son trying to tap along to Metallica studio recordings. The DAT leaves me free to run around and jump all over my drums without the ignominy of actually playing them. You may ask why I am needed in the band. Well my role is essential to making James look good. That's it. They couldn't find anyone else who looked quite as stupid as me or who managed to be so widely hated by so many. I am essential.
Lars
Yes, I understand now.
Sorry for laughing at your infantile playing, I also apologise to Mr Hetfield for laughing at his sideburns.
Lars, can you do me a favour, Jason Newstead says he'll come back when you remember what a power-chord is and Phil Collins doesn't own you - so have a word with Hetfield and do something to make him angry and young again please, I can't take the incisive metal-anger of "Give me fuel give me fire give me that which I desire....Ooooo."
I bet James makes you touch him doesn't he?
Run along now, your private jet is leaving.
Sorry for laughing at your infantile playing, I also apologise to Mr Hetfield for laughing at his sideburns.
Lars, can you do me a favour, Jason Newstead says he'll come back when you remember what a power-chord is and Phil Collins doesn't own you - so have a word with Hetfield and do something to make him angry and young again please, I can't take the incisive metal-anger of "Give me fuel give me fire give me that which I desire....Ooooo."
I bet James makes you touch him doesn't he?
Run along now, your private jet is leaving.
James only grows sideburns because I can't. My face is as smooth as a baby's bottom, but that's only because they slip oestrogen pills into my drinks.
grrr.
Lars
grrr.
Lars
I am sorry I laughed at your estrogen-soaked pudgy Danish head.
I feel ashamed and will force myself to listen to S&M 3 times in a row and compare the drumming live to the studio tracks.
It does take great skill to play them with your face, and I feel bad now.
Please forgive me
Def Leppard one-armed drummer
I feel ashamed and will force myself to listen to S&M 3 times in a row and compare the drumming live to the studio tracks.
It does take great skill to play them with your face, and I feel bad now.
Please forgive me
Def Leppard one-armed drummer
LOL! You brought a smile to my face - cheers, guys.
My pudgy danish face is not the worst of it. Ever seen fight club? Well one day I will look like Meatloaf's character, unless I stand up to James and say 'No! I won't drink your oestrogen-laced cocktails!'. But I can't because his sideburns intimidate me.
I know I have become a clownish hate figure for millions around the world, what with my baby-faced danishness, my whinging and my Napster-banning. But I have billions in the bank and you don't. So there. HAHA! Not only that but I can't even play the drums. The last time I featured on a metallica album was when I tripped over a wire and accidently split my head open on the cymbol in time to Kirk's solo. It was painful but it was worth it. I have one £500,000 hi-fi at home which plays my drum solo constantly on loop. t's magical I tell you.
In terms of live drumming I accidently knocked the snare drum over once which really annoyed James because it disrupted his strutting around the stage. He spanked me later, which was about the time I began to regret my choice of skimpy clothing to play in. As for Newstead I made James chuck him out the band because he thought it was funny to tune his bass to the same resonant frequency of many of my possessions. He even blew up my favourite goldfish once! It all went wrong for him when my cat happened to have the same resonant frequency as James' sideburns. He was not happy let me tell you. That's the inside story on Newstead.
At the end of the day though, I am richer than you and I have no recognisable talents or qualities. So whose done better for themself? Me or you? Yes that's right, me Lars Ulrich. I am the living embodiment of the American Dream. I wanted to call it the Danish Dream but that's the trademark of a yummy danish pastry and they threatened to sue me and made me cry.
Lars Ulrich Esquire
I know I have become a clownish hate figure for millions around the world, what with my baby-faced danishness, my whinging and my Napster-banning. But I have billions in the bank and you don't. So there. HAHA! Not only that but I can't even play the drums. The last time I featured on a metallica album was when I tripped over a wire and accidently split my head open on the cymbol in time to Kirk's solo. It was painful but it was worth it. I have one £500,000 hi-fi at home which plays my drum solo constantly on loop. t's magical I tell you.
In terms of live drumming I accidently knocked the snare drum over once which really annoyed James because it disrupted his strutting around the stage. He spanked me later, which was about the time I began to regret my choice of skimpy clothing to play in. As for Newstead I made James chuck him out the band because he thought it was funny to tune his bass to the same resonant frequency of many of my possessions. He even blew up my favourite goldfish once! It all went wrong for him when my cat happened to have the same resonant frequency as James' sideburns. He was not happy let me tell you. That's the inside story on Newstead.
At the end of the day though, I am richer than you and I have no recognisable talents or qualities. So whose done better for themself? Me or you? Yes that's right, me Lars Ulrich. I am the living embodiment of the American Dream. I wanted to call it the Danish Dream but that's the trademark of a yummy danish pastry and they threatened to sue me and made me cry.
Lars Ulrich Esquire
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