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"Mirror Girl"

Floorboards well break throw the wedding cake.
Sound of ants under the ground.
The life could be gone by tomorrow.
If heat was of meat in the seat.
Be discret.
Stop stop stop.
What is this?
A mucked about to get f**ked up poem.
Now here is begins.

I pull you up here you are.
I hung you tight hold you towards me.
Squeezing you against my chest.
Broken into pieces.
A mirror like face.
Who could ever care if your a disgrace.
Old times, new times, good times.
The fuzzy t.v a picture of mystery.
Rats going by your feet.
Rubbish filled up high.
One day till you die.

Castle high for me Toipo toipo toipo.....

I will listen this time.

Bob, poetry isn't just about putting words that rhyme together. Far more important in poetry is the expression behind the poem and the symbolism behind it; such as writing phrases with double-meanings.

A golden rule of poetry, and anything you write, is that it had to be legible and make some sense. Putting words like 'meat' and 'seat' together isn't creating poetry.

If you try poetry again and try to add depth through rhetorical questions, remember, they have to fit into the poem and simply adding questions like 'why?' doesn't add any depth.

C®ø§$ Bób wrote:
> Stop stop stop.
> What is this?

This is the best bit. Makes the most sense.

That reads like it was written by an illiterate chimp.

Oh wait, it was.

Just let this die now.

Alfonse wrote:
> You give us fourteen year olds a retarded name.

And with that comment, so do you.

Ahahahaha oh Crossbob you crack me up.

You give us fourteen year olds a retarded name.

He's been listening to TMV.

A girl im starting with a new one now which is better.