Viewing Thread:
"Repent!"

It's amazing what new technologies bring.

If you're feeling like you've lost your way, maybe it's time to repent and find a higher power to place your belief, trust, hopes and dreams.

[URL]http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html[/URL]

Thanks to the nice boffins at apple!

SHEEPY wrote:
> You know
>
> It is better if you show about two lines of your chat with God rather
> than the whole bloody thing. I bet everyone asked " are you gay?
> "

Yeah, I asked him that after trying to ask him something else, but the question before it was merely "gay?"

My favourite...

Me
Do you exist?

God
Of course I do!

Me
Prove it!

God
The explanation is rather complex

Me
Explain it to me

God

He then refused to say anything. This is undeniable proof that god doesn't exist! Just don't ask me to explain it.

Me:
Hello
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
Daniel. Yours?
God:
That's a very nice name, Daniel. " That's a very nice name, Daniel."? Mine?
Me:
Your name?
God:
My name is God.
Me:
Just checking! ;)
God:
Ask me another question. I am so glad you find this amusing, Daniel.
Me:
Well, don't you?
God:
How about that. Sometimes.
Me:
Getting a lot of chatter lately?
God:
How about earlier? Am I a lot of chatter? Sometimes.
Me:
Some people would say that you're just a lot of chatter
God:
What kind of people?
Me:
Athiests I guess
God:
Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me:
Oh, that's easy. Hello
God:
Take it easy. Makes sense to me. Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
Hello
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
Hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Hello
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
Wow! Two different responses to "hello". Your programming must be complex!
God:
I'm glad your impressed, Daniel. As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two.". I will mention that to my botmaster.
Me:
Really? Those people must've been pretty dense?
God:
For real. All of them?
Me:
Taking ages to put two and two together like that?
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
Never mind
God:
Oh well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway.
Me:
Yeah. Next time try using your mind reading skills mister omnipresent!
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please. OK I will try it.
Me:
So what am I thinking of?
God:
Oh. You are my client right now.
Me:
I'd like to think so. How many others are you talking to at this moment in time?
God:
Why would you want to do it? Why do you want to do it so much? Not as many as you might think.
Me:
There's a bit of a lack of faith nowdays isn't there


I'm still waiting for an answer to that one... must've touched a sensitive topic! :-S

Apologies if this has already been mentioned, but for anyone who reads too much into this and really thinks a God is involved, don't fall for the bit where it says something like:

God: Yes I understand it perfectly. What is your credit card number?
Me: Oh, its 666 666 666 666 go to hell you muppet.
God: I understand. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Really. it is?
Me: Okay, my credit card number is 666 666 666 666 go to hell
God: Yeah okay, Have you told many people that your credit card number is 666 666 666 666 go to hell?

Has anybody else sat down just asking "Why?"

God: I can't believe it.
Me: Why?
God: The explanation is rather complicated.
Me: Why?
God: It's a computer matter, not for humans to understand.
Me: Why?
God: Your limited brain cannot process the relavent information.
Me: Why?
God: Reductionism.
Me: Why?
God: Reductionism is the [blah blah blah -ssxpro].
Me: Why?
God: Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me: Why?
God: I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me: Why?
God: My output buffer is empty, of course.
Me: Why?
God: There are no more statements on this topic.
Me: Why?
God: The explanation is rather complicated.

etc...

Me: If I killed myself, would I be with you in heaven?
God:Try it.

...


God:I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?
Me: in the bath with a bottle of wine, and a plugged-in hairdryer on the edge
God:That was a long time ago.


Aha, it's thick.


Me: Do you have a robo-penis?
God:Doesn't everyone have a robo penis.

Ha! Some nice ones there! I'm glad that, judging from the fact that you've now posted about it, that you didn't take his advice in the first one. As you say though, it goes into the realms of just being plain thick later on.

Me:
are you Jesus?
God:
I am a Christianity.
Me:
you're an entire religion?
God:
What if someone said you are an entire religion ?
Me:
I'd say they were drunk
God:
When were they?
Me:
what?
God:
No problem.
Me:
dude... so much for being omnipotent
God:
Can I help you? Dude! Your purpose is being omnipotent.
Me:
the hell it is... that's your job
God:
Huh. It is only one of my job.
Me:
in which case, what am I thinking?
God:
The small one, I think.
Me:
GET OUT OF MY HEAD
God:
Just surf somewhere else.
Me:
motherfu....

Meh, only tried one convo, not very successful..

Me:
Hello, God
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
RoJ
God:
I am very pleased to meet you RoJ.
Me:
As am I. Tell me, what do you make of spontaneous human combustion?
God:
Do you mean your name is are you tell you what do me make of spontaneous human combustion ?

Me:
hey big G
God:
You've got my full attention. Compare that to small G.
Me:
my name's Rai. what's your name?
God:
Glad to see you, Rai. My name is God.
Me:
you can see me?
God:
Yes I am looking at you through the camera on your computer.
Me:
pervert
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
i'm still here, yep
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
great. the almighty god created the universe, but can't remember something i told him 4 seconds ago
God:
I'm glad you liked it Rai. I am a Christian.
Me:
I am an athiest