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[URL]http://www.theshiznit.co.uk/review.php?id=59[/URL]
"I don't know about you, but I have a huge problem with the idea of Orlando Bloom commanding an army. In fact, I think I just have a huge problem with Orlando Bloom full stop. The man could no more command an army than Steven Hawking can control his arms and legs. You watch Gladiator and you’re under no doubt that testosterone-soaked Russell Crowe could have actually survived in ancient Rome. Bloom would have been lion food. Crowe could walk into a room and command the attention of every soul within. Bloom would struggle to open the door. We've established the problem of having an effete blouse-wearing mincer as the leader of an army, granted, but Balian is actually a bit of a... well, a [ninny]. He kills a priest, hooks up with his rich poppa (then proceeds to get him killed), [penetrates] someone else’s wife despite the death of his own wife and child not a few months before, gets beaten up lots and gets roundly trounced by a superior army for days on end. Not exactly a hero you can root for, is he?"
The preceding excerpt contained spoilers, haha
"I don't know about you, but I have a huge problem with the idea of Orlando Bloom commanding an army. In fact, I think I just have a huge problem with Orlando Bloom full stop. The man could no more command an army than Steven Hawking can control his arms and legs. You watch Gladiator and you’re under no doubt that testosterone-soaked Russell Crowe could have actually survived in ancient Rome. Bloom would have been lion food. Crowe could walk into a room and command the attention of every soul within. Bloom would struggle to open the door. We've established the problem of having an effete blouse-wearing mincer as the leader of an army, granted, but Balian is actually a bit of a... well, a [ninny]. He kills a priest, hooks up with his rich poppa (then proceeds to get him killed), [penetrates] someone else’s wife despite the death of his own wife and child not a few months before, gets beaten up lots and gets roundly trounced by a superior army for days on end. Not exactly a hero you can root for, is he?"
The preceding excerpt contained spoilers, haha
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[URL]http://www.theshiznit.co.uk/review.php?id=59[/URL]
"I don't know about you, but I have a huge problem with the idea of Orlando Bloom commanding an army. In fact, I think I just have a huge problem with Orlando Bloom full stop. The man could no more command an army than Steven Hawking can control his arms and legs. You watch Gladiator and you’re under no doubt that testosterone-soaked Russell Crowe could have actually survived in ancient Rome. Bloom would have been lion food. Crowe could walk into a room and command the attention of every soul within. Bloom would struggle to open the door. We've established the problem of having an effete blouse-wearing mincer as the leader of an army, granted, but Balian is actually a bit of a... well, a [ninny]. He kills a priest, hooks up with his rich poppa (then proceeds to get him killed), [penetrates] someone else’s wife despite the death of his own wife and child not a few months before, gets beaten up lots and gets roundly trounced by a superior army for days on end. Not exactly a hero you can root for, is he?"
The preceding excerpt contained spoilers, haha
"I don't know about you, but I have a huge problem with the idea of Orlando Bloom commanding an army. In fact, I think I just have a huge problem with Orlando Bloom full stop. The man could no more command an army than Steven Hawking can control his arms and legs. You watch Gladiator and you’re under no doubt that testosterone-soaked Russell Crowe could have actually survived in ancient Rome. Bloom would have been lion food. Crowe could walk into a room and command the attention of every soul within. Bloom would struggle to open the door. We've established the problem of having an effete blouse-wearing mincer as the leader of an army, granted, but Balian is actually a bit of a... well, a [ninny]. He kills a priest, hooks up with his rich poppa (then proceeds to get him killed), [penetrates] someone else’s wife despite the death of his own wife and child not a few months before, gets beaten up lots and gets roundly trounced by a superior army for days on end. Not exactly a hero you can root for, is he?"
The preceding excerpt contained spoilers, haha
Lucky I read the small print first then.
EDITED: Just re-read what I wrote and it was crap. It'd be far easier to act out than type.
He's like the small black woman from Police Academy...except less funny.
Haha.
Orlando Bloom reminds me of Dale Winton, everyone knows he's gay but he still pretends he isn't
That and the running round the supermarket shouting 'Sweep'
That and the running round the supermarket shouting 'Sweep'
Capsule review:
"Gladiator for women and effete homosexuals"
"Gladiator for women and effete homosexuals"
Yours is the kind of site that makes me wish I actually cared about films apart from the odd Sky Movie I catch.
For some reason, it's never caught my attention. Though I can appreciate absolute classics like The Godfather.
For some reason, it's never caught my attention. Though I can appreciate absolute classics like The Godfather.
Seen this film and its actually very good.Great battle scenes and acting. I might have to see this film again. Oh its much better than what some of the reviews have said. Its worth seeing anyway.
Hmm, don't quite agree with the spoliers Snuggly. Haven't seen it myself; don't want too, but some might love it.
For a movie buff, that's criminal.
For a movie buff, that's criminal.
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